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We No Sale Drugs (1 Viewer)

rockaction

Footballguy
I remember when D.C. was trying to clean the streets of hot dog vendors so that they might monopolize (license) the sale of goods on streets in the District. They used the ostensible excuse that the vendors were responsible (this is utterly laughable) for the drug trade in parts of the city. Now, I'm sure there were some, but the rampant, city-wide sale of drugs was something that was at least, to me, on the hush-hush. In response to that, there was a picture in the WaPo of a vendor woman (the woman who vended our street where I worked) with a sign. I'll never forget it. It read, in broken English, the very title of this thread.

We No Sale Drugs.

What "No Sale Drugs" stories do any of you have. Do you no sale drugs? If you sale drugs, how do you say you no sale and have people believe you? Are there drugs for sale anywhere you know of?

Inquiring minds want to know.

 
I think those are Girl Scouts, dude.
What a great comment to the stupidest thread.

Actually, all the comments are pretty damn good, this one just made me guffaw. I seem to remember the legend. She sold 30,000 boxes...

Each with a little cocaine. Actually, the boxes were filled with them, but upon realizing how economically not viable that is, it all changed to getting a free packet.

 
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hot dog vendors really should sell drugs.
This, of course, should have been the takeaway from the whole thing.

Actually, the whole takeaway is how a malaprop can live in your head for twenty-five years. But that's too personal. The social benefit of hot dog dealers dealing drugs is delicious.

 
This, of course, should have been the takeaway from the whole thing.

Actually, the whole takeaway is how a malaprop can live in your head for twenty-five years. But that's too personal. The social benefit of hot dog dealers dealing drugs is delicious.
a HS friend of mine went to art school and has since become a very successful artist. one of his first works involved found malaprop signage...so I always think of him when I see these things ("no dog here" guiltily inscribed at a local Chinese restaurant)

 
a HS friend of mine went to art school and has since become a very successful artist. one of his first works involved found malaprop signage...so I always think of him when I see these things ("no dog here" guiltily inscribed at a local Chinese restaurant)
You're absolutely kidding. What an amazing concept. We can debate "art" all one would like, but truly some of the most memorable stuff is malaprop signage in broken English.

"No dog here" makes your heart break a little bit for the purveyor, doesn't it? Sad.

Just like "We No Sale Drugs" did for me. They obviously were getting kicked out by the city who wanted higher licensing fees and groovier carts and trucks on their streets. We started to see the new ones downtown. It was like $3.50 for a hot dog from the new carts back in the nineties. You could see what the city wanted and where it was going.

Yes, I ate the hot dogs from the cart at times. We were in the business part of town, and the cheapest lunch ran about 10 bucks if not. What a disaster being a twenty year-old non-profit alcoholic was. Drink or lunch? BOTH IF BOILED.

Heh. That worked out well as a joke. I didn't even intend it to.

 
So much to dissect here.

I miss my roach coach outside our Philly office so much - probably the bacon/egg/crystal hot sauce on a long roll that I would allow myself every Friday morning even more than the water dogs.  My Baltimore office is in the burbs, so ended up trading dog carts for free parking.

Whenever I'm visiting our DC building, I grab a half-smoke from the truck the next block over.  The prices seem to be all over the place, depending on whether you're perceived as a Fed or a tourist (we're near Air and Space).  Sometimes my half-smoke, chips, and can of soda is <$4 and other times it's like $8.50.  At this point, I just fork over whatever the lady tells me.

One malaprop comes to mind.  Years ago, I was at a burger place that advertised as "Home of the Big ###-Burger."  I thought about telling the bartender about the misplaced hyphen and what it meant about their ground meat, but then figured he had heard it a zillion times already.  

And this is really just idiocy instead of a malaprop - the pizza place where I worked for many summers in OCMD had a big marquee out on Coastal Highway, and on Sunday nights, the owner usually asked me to change out the letters to a new message.  It required standing on a tall ladder near whizzing traffic and using a pole with suction cups to make the words from lettered plastic slats, invariably dropping a bunch onto the parking lot or sidewalk below as the suction lost grip, thus leading to frequent trips up and down the ladder and dinged up or broken slats.  I hated this.

One Sunday night late in the summer, meaning we were running low on letters since so many had been ruined over the previous months, the boss decided he wanted to advertise our homemade pies and cheesecakes by putting "Desserts, Desserts" on both sides of the marquee.  Not only was it a stupid message, but we had no commas (I don't think we ever did) and only 5 "S' tiles.  I told him we couldn't do it because we didn't have the right letters, and he told me to just use one "S" in dessert.  I tried to refuse.  He insisted.  So I climbed up the ladder, took down the old message, and put up "Desert Desert."  I'm already mortified, only for things to be made worse by the countless cars driving by yelling things like "You spelled 'Dessert" wrong you idiot!"  Good times...

 
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So much to dissect here.

One malaprop comes to mind.  Years ago, I was at a burger place that advertised as "Home of the Big ###-Burger."  I thought about telling the bartender about the misplaced hyphen and what it meant about their ground meat, but then figured he had heard it a zillion times already. 
The Lucky Bar in D.C. was also home of the "Big ### Burger," though I'm not sure they misplaced the hyphen. I never noticed. Too drunk.

That's funny about the half-smoke. I can assure the reader that even in our professional office, I looked completely like a local. Never spent more than about $3.50 for a few hot dogs and a coke.

 
The Lucky Bar in D.C. was also home of the "Big ### Burger," though I'm not sure they misplaced the hyphen. I never noticed. Too drunk.


Hilarious - it was Lucky Bar (which I realize was way more than a "Burger Bar.")  

 
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Hilarious - it was Lucky Bar.  
You know what's amazing? I hung out there all the time, ordered that burger so many times, and never noticed the hyphen. These days, I'll nitpick somebody over "it's/its" in a thread about reincarnation and God, but I couldn't be bothered to notice back then. Too many other worries. The hyphen is just perfect.

What would you like on your assburger?

I knew the guy that was at least the GM there. He was from Europe. Swell fellow, and he's part of the reason why they had soccer mornings in the States, which was usually sparsely attended, but cool.

 
You know what's amazing? I hung out there all the time, ordered that burger so many times, and never noticed the hyphen. These days, I'll nitpick somebody over "it's/its" in a thread about reincarnation and God, but I couldn't be bothered to notice back then. Too many other worries. The hyphen is just perfect.

What would you like on your assburger?

I knew the guy that was at least the GM there. He was from Europe. Swell fellow, and he's part of the reason why they had soccer mornings in the States, which was usually sparsely attended, but cool.


I'm sure they changed it at some point.  I just know the misplaced hyphen was there one night in the summer of 2005 when I was down in DC for work and met @Ramsay Hunt Experienceat the only bar I liked near DuPont Circle.

 
I'm sure they changed it at some point.  I just know the misplaced hyphen was there one night in the summer of 2005 when I was down in DC for work and met @Ramsay Hunt Experienceat the only bar I liked near DuPont Circle.
That's perfect. That's nearly five years after I left, nearly a decade after I arrived, which was '97. That area must have changed so much, as DuPont Circle must have, too. There were a bunch of dive and trendy bars setting up shop right next to each other back in the day. We had The Big Hunt and Lucky Bar, which were dive bars, Dragonfly, which was an über-trendy cocktail bar, 18th St. Lounge, which was the same as Dragonfly only without the frosted pane windows, and MCMXXXXLVVVIIII or whatever year it was around 1999, which was an upscale dance club with bottle service in '99. Too funny, that area. I worked a block and a half over on 17th St. NW.

 
I'm sure they changed it at some point.  I just know the misplaced hyphen was there one night in the summer of 2005 when I was down in DC for work and met @Ramsay Hunt Experienceat the only bar I liked near DuPont Circle.
Also where @Tough As Nails and @fatguyinalittlecoat apparently got into a  furious game of quarters with some GW students if I remember the tale correctly. 
 

Lucky Bar is mostly famous as a soccer bar in town. No special reputation for cuisine. 

 
That's perfect. That's nearly five years after I left, nearly a decade after I arrived, which was '97. That area must have changed so much, as DuPont Circle must have, too. There were a bunch of dive and trendy bars setting up shop right next to each other back in the day. We had The Big Hunt and Lucky Bar, which were dive bars, Dragonfly, which was an über-trendy cocktail bar, 18th St. Lounge, which was the same as Dragonfly only without the frosted pane windows, and MCMXXXXLVVVIIII or whatever year it was around 1999, which was an upscale dance club with bottle service in '99. Too funny, that area. I worked a block and a half over on 17th St. NW.


Man, I get tons of flak from IRL folks for hating on DC too much, but it was already starting to turn by the end of the 90s, and now it's just completely soulless.  [Note: I had typed out a long rant about why I abhor the new DC so much, but thought the better of it.]

I did like Lucky Bar, and had been to the Big Hunt once or twice, but when I was in town for work, my hangout was the original Stoney's on 13th and L.  It was one of the last real dives in NW DC - a place where other patrons first question to you wasn't "Where do you work?" followed by "What's your grade?"  Stoney's had great comfort food before comfort food became a thing (meatloaf, hot turkey sandwiches, grilled cheese), cheap beer, and clientele of cops, reporters, drunks, derelicts, and pimps.  The working girls from the stroll (back when DC had a stroll) would come in to use the facilities and buy smokes.  All were welcome.  Sadly, the landlord sold the building to go condo and the new Stoney's moved to P Street across from the Whole Foods and just wasn't the same.

Back in the early-mid 90s, we would drive to DC during the summer or over winter break to hit up the kind of freak scenes that didn't exist on the eastern shore of Maryland.  Tracks down on  Half Street (which had one straight night per week); Nation also on Half Street; Asylum in Exile on U Street; the Insect Club on E Street; and Club Heaven and Hell in Adams Morgan (for an amazing 80s-alternative night).  Man, despite the fact that I was completely broke back then, I miss still those times.

 
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[Note: I had typed out a long rant about why I abhor the new DC so much, but thought the better of it.]
*munches on crumbling cookies in eager anticipation*

I knew when I visited back in like 2003 and I saw the guys in polo shirts knocking down decaying houses in the NW area that it wasn't long from being completely gentrified. I had wanted to buy property around Logan Circle and that U street area that you mention, but was too gassed on drugs and needing to go home to really put together a plan. And who would have funded it, anyway?

It's along the lines of my friends asking us to invest in land in Costa Rica back then and us laughing at him, thinking what an imperturbable naïf he was. Showed him, our laughter.

 
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