Anyone else have that one friend who bandwagon's everything and always thinks he's right? (1 Viewer)

So I have a friend from the neighborhood who I met while in Middle School. Over the years I've realized just how immature he is, arrogant, always thinks he's right and selfish. The other issue is he bandwagon's everything not just sports but TV and other stuff. Do to his behavior he has about 2 friends who are former co workers (the one is always taking advantage of him with money and stuff) and another who has a fiancee and sometimes I think he gets himself too involved with both on plans. 

Outside of this school wise he didn't have many friends in school outside of myself and another neighborhood kid he ended up rooming with in College. Back in HS he invited himself to a Flyers NHL game that our other buddy was going with another friend and then bragged to me about it after the fact. Our other buddy profusely apologized to me for it. I've missed other sporting events movies and other things do to this guy but his parents have always been great and I've gone on a few family vacations with them. The worst thing about my two friends is this guy can't admit he was one of the biggest reasons for their falling out and can't admit any fault nor sees where he went wrong. 

Anyway he bandwagons constantly whatever is popular from TV shows to movies, music etc. He is also into this online auction stuff and loves to brag about the stuff he gets (Always brags about any success, new car, job etc). Sports especially he bandwagons off of. He's always going after me for not being a 4 for 4 guy (Our city for some reason is obsessed with this and I think it's ridiculous) despite the fact he bandwagons everything outside of the 76ers and even then it's questionable. This was prevalent when we went to a Bulls vs 76ers game in Philly sat behind CHI bench and I got in a conversation with 2 other Bulls fans from Philly. When they asked my buddy if he was a Bulls fan (Didn't have anything sixers on had a PSU jacket on) he said no and despite being a 76ers fan he just bandwagons whatever team is good.  So him saying I'm not 4 for is hypocritical by him since he doesn't want to go see a game unless said team is good. I've been a Bulls fan since MJ and stood by them when they were essentially laughing stock of the league till now. 

I asked if he had any interest in taking a pair of my Mom's family Eagles tickets (My Uncle was lucky enough to secure a 2nd pair of Season Tix this season) and wanted to invite him to a game. He was all for it till he found out the price Said he'd rather get a hotel and see a PSU game because the Eagles suck right now. I'm sorry but I've been going to the Vet since the early 90s. I'll watch the Eagles lose 40-10 in Below freezing temps with snow coming down or a downpour if I had too. 

Anyone else have a friend like this? How do you usually deal with them? Because of how he is it makes it incredible difficult to make any plans? At this stage in life I'm only interest in maybe going to a game with him of some sort, hit movie coming out or concert. Other then that we rarely hangout like we use too. Some because of work but also I have other friends who are a lot less aggravating and share my interests as well. Any reason I shouldn't cut hair at this point. 

No

Me neither.

Yes

I would also like to point out that this is the second thread that Im aware of where you basically submarine somebody you call a friend. Sometimes self reflection is healthy. 

ETA - One of my very best friends has some very annoying habits that drive me crazy. He has quite possibly the worst phone manners of anyone Ive ever met. (He will often call me and ask me to wait on hold when I answer) He is never respectful of other peoples time/always late.  On the flip side I'm not perfect. I got my own issues that Im sure can annoy him. 

Now when he calls me and put me on hold, rather than get upset, I just hang up. I accepted my buddy for who he is (and vice versa).

STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:

I would also like to point out that this is the second thread that Im aware of where you basically submarine somebody you call a friend. Sometimes self reflection is healthy. 

ETA - One of my very best friends has some very annoying habits that drive me crazy. He has quite possibly the worst phone manners of anyone Ive ever met. (He will often call me and ask me to wait on hold when I answer) He is never respectful of other peoples time/always late.  On the flip side I'm not perfect. I got my own issues that Im sure can annoy him. 

Now when he calls me and put me on hold, rather than get upset, I just hang up. I accepted my buddy for who he is (and vice versa).

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This is the same guy. Tonight from texting him made me realize a few things and self reflect on the situation. Are we really friends anymore or do we just use each other because we're the closes in terms of where we live and can do stuff. A lot of my close friends are married with kids, not a lot of time to hangout, and I'm single still at home living single guy life, retail job and different hours. He works retail, at home, etc so maybe it's more of just a convince thing then friendship at this point? Finding myself more and more we have totally different interests anymore and anytime I try to even help him he doesn't seem to take it. I've tried inviting him or getting him involved in my other interests hoping maybe the experience would help. Took him to the Union Soccer match a few weeks ago (Granted probably the wrong match for them to take him too) and he basically #### all over my interest even my good points on stuff. Always has some snobby comment about my interest. Asked him if he wanted to try and see AEW or the NJPW shows coming up as something different then the WWE experience (offered for the NJPW show with good seats to pay for his ticket too) completely #### on me for liking it. I've also tried inviting him to stuff with my friends (maybe he becomes friends with them or branches out) 

Music? Completely different. Outside of sports interests like Movies, shows etc different. The Cafe I've been going to I've talked about invited him to come with me (something different) but nope. He doesn't even try to involve me in his interests either but I'm wiling to try and go in with an open mind. If he wanted to and we could've gotten tickets would've love to have gone to the Auburn/PSU white out for the experience at least. I'll go see a ton of movies he wants but he wants nothing to do with movies he has no interest in I want. I went and saw the new Snake Eyes Origin film myself. I saw La Miserable (SP) despite not wanting to at all. The dude is into a lot of musicals and theatre stuff but I don't make snarky comments about it. Heck even have tried helping this guy get a girlfriend with nothing of a hey thanks for trying. 

This is really where I am with this friendship. We're in a free keeper league together which I'm willing to do maybe every so often hey want to catch up go to a game or something. But I think I'm done with the whole Being Friend friends now. Also I'm still pretty pissed off how he ended the relationship with our other friend to the point because of it he drove him so far off (didn't have a great relationship with his own father when his mom died which didn't help either) he moved like 3 hrs away. The comment that made him quit cold turkey was pretty F'd up too. And he has issues telling people stuff that really shouldn't be public but you can't trust him with any sort of stuff when it comes to your life because he'll blab to his parents and sister and blast it all over social media too. Like I kept his sister getting an accidental pregnancy a secrete but I told him something (This was years ago before I knew he'd do this) and next time I see his dad he's asking me about it and makes me look like an a hole because I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about because it wasn't suppose to be shared with anyone else

It's stuff like that which aggravates me the most and why I don't tell him certain stuff. For instances a few yrs ago had an FWB with a girl who had just divorced (close to my age) and was sneaking off from my house (Living with parents and all don't need to know that stuff) or telling him I was busy because I was with her. Yet I couldn't tell him any of it because I knew he'd tell his parents and others and it'd find it's way to my family. I just couldn't risk that. I wasn't banging a married Girl or anything it was just a cool fling with a cool Girl and we went to a few concerts and stuff together too. She didn't care if I had friends who knew but I knew he wasn't someone I could talk to on that one. 

This is a guy when our old friend asked him why he didn't make friends at school and his response was "Why should I make friends here when most live out of state and I'll never see most of them again?" Meanwhile my old friend met a few people who lived within 30-45 mins from us who went to school where they went.  So I guess I'm just trying to figure out is it worth pretending to be this guys friend still because I know its not the friendship or even close to what we had yrs ago when we first met. 

STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:

ETA - One of my very best friends has some very annoying habits that drive me crazy. He has quite possibly the worst phone manners of anyone Ive ever met. (He will often call me and ask me to wait on hold when I answer) He is never respectful of other peoples time/always late.  On the flip side I'm not perfect. I got my own issues that Im sure can annoy him. 

Now when he calls me and put me on hold, rather than get upset, I just hang up. I accepted my buddy for who he is (and vice versa).

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See there's a difference with us. He seems more interested in trying to one up me. Like I'll got a few former athletes who shop in the store or something cool happens. For instance I'll tell him hey I just met Brandon Graham at my work he apparently just moved near us (Which is true). He'll then be like well I met **** Vermiel and I got to fix his phone but will say it in a snarky way. More about one upping us. 

Yeah I know my tardiness isn't something he appreciates as he's always on time however I always have enough manners and self awareness when it annoys people to say I apologize or at least work something out where I don't have to be late. His stuff he's never wrong. For instance he went to college for Sportsmanagement after realizing Metorology had way too much hard math. Told him about a good friend of mine I met and went to Phillies games with on my old Phillies board who was in the field and got a job working for the team in Clearwater. My buddy who didn't do well as a student (C plus), wasn't personable and connect or set up connections with ex coworkers from internships with teams, has the audacity to ask me to ask my buddy to help him get a job. Now why would I do that when my friend from the board put in a lot of effort to get where he was? My buddy has always had everything handed to him and spoiled so that has never helped him either. 

I get appreciating and accepting others for who they are. It's the sheer fact though he doesn't do anything to make it easier, help himself and when you try to be a friend and help him he acts defensive on it. It's been pretty bad for yrs my other buddy who was friends with him and I had talked about possible getting his parents together for an intervention with him yrs ago when we were all in college. I suspect given I know people ad family that he might be undiagnosed bi-polar or something else especially since his dad was diagnosed about 14 yrs ago. I also suspect he might know he has it already and hasn't said anything despite me being very open about my Aspergers, Bi-Polar Uncle and another Uncle on my Dad's side with his own mental issues and has been in a mental instituition at times for break downs for depression and such. If He had something like that I could more so accept him for who he is more knowing some of the stuff I can't change. 

*Due

STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:

I would also like to point out that this is the second thread that Im aware of where you basically submarine somebody you call a friend. Sometimes self reflection is healthy. 

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So many words 

Sleep with his mom. 

Salma Hayek's boobs are just exquisite. 

DJackson10 said:

See there's a difference with us. He seems more interested in trying to one up me. Like I'll got a few former athletes who shop in the store or something cool happens. For instance I'll tell him hey I just met Brandon Graham at my work he apparently just moved near us (Which is true). He'll then be like well I met **** Vermiel and I got to fix his phone but will say it in a snarky way. More about one upping us. 

Yeah I know my tardiness isn't something he appreciates as he's always on time however I always have enough manners and self awareness when it annoys people to say I apologize or at least work something out where I don't have to be late. His stuff he's never wrong. For instance he went to college for Sportsmanagement after realizing Metorology had way too much hard math. Told him about a good friend of mine I met and went to Phillies games with on my old Phillies board who was in the field and got a job working for the team in Clearwater. My buddy who didn't do well as a student (C plus), wasn't personable and connect or set up connections with ex coworkers from internships with teams, has the audacity to ask me to ask my buddy to help him get a job. Now why would I do that when my friend from the board put in a lot of effort to get where he was? My buddy has always had everything handed to him and spoiled so that has never helped him either. 

I get appreciating and accepting others for who they are. It's the sheer fact though he doesn't do anything to make it easier, help himself and when you try to be a friend and help him he acts defensive on it. It's been pretty bad for yrs my other buddy who was friends with him and I had talked about possible getting his parents together for an intervention with him yrs ago when we were all in college. I suspect given I know people ad family that he might be undiagnosed bi-polar or something else especially since his dad was diagnosed about 14 yrs ago. I also suspect he might know he has it already and hasn't said anything despite me being very open about my Aspergers, Bi-Polar Uncle and another Uncle on my Dad's side with his own mental issues and has been in a mental instituition at times for break downs for depression and such. If He had something like that I could more so accept him for who he is more knowing some of the stuff I can't change. 

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You're Tyler Durden...

AAABatteries said:

So many words 

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Frostillicus said:

Salma Hayek's boobs are just exquisite. 

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Just stop reaching out to the guy. If he wants to take the initiative, OK.  But I suspect he won't do so very often.

tri-man 47 said:

Just stop reaching out to the guy. If he wants to take the initiative, OK.  But I suspect he won't do so very often.

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Yeah I feel Like I'm used most of the time anymore. He has one former Coworker type friend whos married with kids and then is paying child support on another kid. Dude takes advantage of his kindness (bought dudes lunch/dinner multiple times and other things) and he owes him a lot of money at this point. Being generous it might be close to 2K if not more considering food and other things he's let him money for not paid back. He didn't pay me back for something a few yrs ago but I totally didn't expect him too and it was only $20. At the same time My buddy and I were suppose to go to Eagles open practice that was eventually canceled and was reimbursed money wise by Ticketmaster. However I had told my buddy I might not make the open practice do to prior plans or at least the VIP on the field stuff. he said he'd take this other guy so I told him I'd buy a single ticket to the practice but wanted to be reimbursed for the fact I wasn't doing the VIP part. He kind of seemed to get annoyed of me asking if his buddy could reimburse me. 

Either way it just seems like when neither of these two former co workers are around I'm his last option on anything rather then his first. Not that I care anymore but it annoys me non the less and I've done more denying him then ever before in the last few months. I honestly think the pandemic did me a favor since we weren't seeing much of one another and I had more time to reflect on our friendship, saw how much $$$ I didn't waste on dumb things with him etc. I might occasionally ask if he wants to see a game or the big movie I know we'd both want to see. Something of that nature but I aint going out of my way asking him for stuff anymore either. 

I learned long ago to just cut toxic people out of your life. It's too short to waste being bothered. 

I only read the title but I can assure you life gets better after you leave high school. You'll grow up and meet better people, etc. Hang in there.