Dining in groups (1 Viewer)

[DA RAIDERS]

may i have a new napkin please

 

[Cowboysfan8]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

Hold up.....

Napkin? The thing you use to wipe off your mouth

Fyp

 

[3C's]

I hate eating in groups because I hate groups.

 

[the moops]

I will even use the same fork if it falls on the ground.

 

[Cowboysfan8]

I will even use the same fork if it falls on the ground.

 

[Joe Bryant]

And, IMO, it will be noticeable. It's tough to hide that level of annoyance.

Absolutley. I think the OP is somehow misunderstanding "not imposing his own rules on anyone." As @Hawks64 said, "I'd hate to deal with someone in our group acting like this."

I get the idea that sometimes eating is simply filling up the fuel tank to live. If you're by yourself, knock yourself out eating as fast as you like. But dining out with a spouse or friends is a completely different situation.

 

[Terminalxylem]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

This. When I go out to eat with friends or family, I’m not looking for getting in and out rapidly or efficiently. I’m looking for a relaxing time with great conversations and laughs. The last thing I want to do is somehow integrate a workman like set of guidelines to my leisure time.

FTR, I'm not imposing guidelines on anyone, just positing the way I'd prefer things work. I realize I'm in a minority wrt time considerations, so I just grin and bear it 99.9% of the time.

I let go of most of my pet peeves 10 years ago and am so happy I did. It was a conscious decision - just said I was going to do it and I did it. I would suggest that you at least consider doing something similar. Because if you are having to “grin and bear it” while on vacation dining with friends, well that’s just no way to live.

Don't get me wrong, I had a great time. We're extremely fortunate to have the time and resources to take multiple vacations, with different groups of friends. And there was plenty of laughter, I assure you.

I'm definitely learning to "let things go" as I age. Not exactly an on/off switch for me, and I think the peeve-producing personality traits can be constructive when helping to organize the trips. At the extreme, things won't get done, if the tone is too relaxed.

 

[Drunken knight]

Finishing up vacation, including meeting up with groups of friends, I realized eating out may be a peeve. My general strategy:

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

Between people chatting and/or giving the appearance they weren’t ready, causing multiple delays, and one friend never accepting the meal choices presented, repeatedly revising her order, I welcome the return to dining at home.

One last thing: if you consistently finish your meal 10-20 minutes after everyone else in a group, you need to either adjust your eating pace, or talk less.

Thoughts?

For me, these are entirely contingent upon the event and group.

ie: with a group of daughter's teammates/families after games= away games, likely more rushed because we want to get back home.

dinner with adult friends at a nicer place= we likely want to linger a little to enjoy the conversation and experience

 

[Terminalxylem]

And, IMO, it will be noticeable. It's tough to hide that level of annoyance.

Absolutley. I think the OP is somehow misunderstanding "not imposing his own rules on anyone." As @Hawks64 said, "I'd hate to deal with someone in our group acting like this."

I get the idea that sometimes eating is simply filling up the fuel tank to live. If you're by yourself, knock yourself out eating as fast as you like. But dining out with a spouse or friends is a completely different situation.

There is no "acting like this"; I order, eat and socialize, much like everyone else. I just do it a little quicker. Delaying ordering doesn't really enrich that experience, imo. And I don't consider the meals solely as fuel.

Having been a cyclist for years, who enjoyed riding hills, there's an expression which applies, I think. Fast climbers don't suffer less - they just suffer faster. Similarly, fast eaters can enjoy the meal just as much as their slower counterparts. I'm not hounding anyone to pick up the pace.

If you look at it from the other end of the spectrum, if someone takes 2-3X as long to order and eat their meal as your natural pace, do you feel compelled to slow down? Are they enjoying their experience more?

 

[Mr. Soup Nazi]

I always wondered if the soup nazi posted here.

I've been here for years.

And yes, the OP is exactly right.

 

[Ilov80s]

Thoughts?

Lighten up and have fun. The point of going out to eat is with a group is to socialize, talk, have fun, etc.

I enjoy rushing, actually. And being efficient. Plus I view eating out more as an opportunity to try new foods +/- beverages, versus the social aspect. Still, finding enough time to talk never seems to be a problem, at least in my eyes.

I should add for this trip, we were staying in the same place as the friends with whom we dined, so there was plenty of time to socialize, both before and after the meal.

But even if we parted ways, I still dislike wasting time ordering, changing menu items too much, and repeatedly demanding the waitstaff's attention. And it's inconsiderate to camp out at a restaurant if you've completed the meal - 90 minutes or so seems reasonable, imo. If you want to hang out with friends to drink, there are other venues for that.

I am with you that I don’t like people being overly fussy and demanding. My MIL used to be like that and eating out with her was always a mess. We eventually just had to embrace the cringe factor and laugh.

However I also hate rushing anything. I don’t view social outings in the realm of efficiency. I love trying new food and drinks but I also love talking about them and taking my time with them.

 

[bigbottom]

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

 

[Willie Neslon]

National Lampoon's Vacation - "The Grand Canyon" - HD

In this scene, Clark rushes the other Griswold's at the Grand Canyon.

www.youtube.com

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

This is the only odd thing in the OPs list. But it used to be common place at diners and the like. Gotta let Mable know you’re ready to go!

I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.

 

[General Malaise]

I always wondered if the soup nazi posted here.

I've been here for years.

And yes, the OP is exactly right.

11/10

 

[Joe Bryant]

I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.

I don't mind it as long as it's not disruptive. If the server is standing there for 2 minutes holding food while people are snapping pics, then yes. But that just goes under the "be respectful" thing.

Last time we were at Mott 32 in Las Vegas, there's a large table that's semi private. We were not from it and the entire table was going wild on the photos. Ring lights and real cameras and such. I assumed they were food bloggers. It was no problem. They were having fun and I'm sure the restaurant got some publicity.

 

[General Malaise]

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

This is the only odd thing in the OPs list. But it used to be common place at diners and the like. Gotta let Mable know you’re ready to go!

I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.

I get that and it would bug me too if I made my living in the restaurant industry, but for some of us with a large family, with family members spread far and wide, family members away at college and with family members in their final stages of life, is it really THAT much of a bother if we ask for a picture together to mark the occasion? I'm not talking about taking photos of meal for the Gram, I'm talking about a group photo to remember the time. Is that really such a big pet peeve or?

 

[TheAristocrat]

I imagine OP's table being served, he pulls out a stop watch, looks menacingly in the eyes across the whole table, exclaims "Race to the finish," starts the clock, and goes full Homer Simpson two-handed eating at the all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.

 

[nightmare]

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.

 

[General Malaise]

Lost in his manifesto was the art of splitting the check.....I was rather looking forward to that one.

 

[General Malaise]

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.

But, um.....what if you forgot what you were going to order after the menues were stacked up? Asking for a friend.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.

I don't mind it as long as it's not disruptive. If the server is standing there for 2 minutes holding food while people are snapping pics, then yes. But that just goes under the "be respectful" thing.

Last time we were at Mott 32 in Las Vegas, there's a large table that's semi private. We were not from it and the entire table was going wild on the photos. Ring lights and real cameras and such. I assumed they were food bloggers. It was no problem. They were having fun and I'm sure the restaurant got some publicity.

At that price point, that would bug me. I would file that under disruptive. And most likely they were influencers and it’s merely a LAM opportunity.

And it’s not just when food is being delivered. Every staged photo disrupts service. Just sitting down and taking pics for 3-5 minutes makes a difference. and ole purple nosed, uncle bob, who didn’t want to take the picture anyway is now pissed because he doesn’t have his double 101 wild turkey neat yet. And if the server is busy elsewhere for 3-5 minutes, that’s a 10 minute greet time. Which is way too long. now uncle Bob doesn’t have his drink for 15 minutes.

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

This is the only odd thing in the OPs list. But it used to be common place at diners and the like. Gotta let Mable know you’re ready to go!

I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.

I get that and it would bug me too if I made my living in the restaurant industry, but for some of us with a large family, with family members spread far and wide, family members away at college and with family members in their final stages of life, is it really THAT much of a bother if we ask for a picture together to mark the occasion? I'm not talking about taking photos of meal for the Gram, I'm talking about a group photo to remember the time. Is that really such a big pet peeve or?

I get that and am in the same boat. a few pics, sure. Beyond the family photos, the pics of every course. every drink. The 27 pics of themselves with the ocean in the background*

*I should shut my pie hole because my location is stunning and is a big drive for business. I’ll send you a pic.

 

[nightmare]

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.

But, um.....what if you forgot what you were going to order after the menues were stacked up? Asking for a friend.

Do you mean after the server has taken them away? If not, give them a menu.
If yes, that depends on if your friend will tell someone at the table they forgot what they ordered.
It's happened to us. We usually figure it out.

 

[General Malaise]

I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.

I don't mind it as long as it's not disruptive. If the server is standing there for 2 minutes holding food while people are snapping pics, then yes. But that just goes under the "be respectful" thing.

Last time we were at Mott 32 in Las Vegas, there's a large table that's semi private. We were not from it and the entire table was going wild on the photos. Ring lights and real cameras and such. I assumed they were food bloggers. It was no problem. They were having fun and I'm sure the restaurant got some publicity.

At that price point, that would bug me. I would file that under disruptive. And most likely they were influencers and it’s merely a LAM opportunity.

And it’s not just when food is being delivered. Every staged photo disrupts service. Just sitting down and taking pics for 3-5 minutes makes a difference. and ole purple nosed, uncle bob, who didn’t want to take the picture anyway is now pissed because he doesn’t have his double 101 wild turkey neat yet. And if the server is busy elsewhere for 3-5 minutes, that’s a 10 minute greet time. Which is way too long. now uncle Bob doesn’t have his drink for 15 minutes.

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

This is the only odd thing in the OPs list. But it used to be common place at diners and the like. Gotta let Mable know you’re ready to go!

I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.

I get that and it would bug me too if I made my living in the restaurant industry, but for some of us with a large family, with family members spread far and wide, family members away at college and with family members in their final stages of life, is it really THAT much of a bother if we ask for a picture together to mark the occasion? I'm not talking about taking photos of meal for the Gram, I'm talking about a group photo to remember the time. Is that really such a big pet peeve or?

I get that and am in the same boat. a few pics, sure. Beyond the family photos, the pics of every course. every drink. The 27 pics of themselves with the ocean in the background*

*I should shut my pie hole because my location is stunning and is a big drive for business. I’ll send you a pic.

Yeah, that's incredible and yes, I would for SURE get some family pictures of that backdrop. How could you not? But after the meal, after I've tipped above and beyond, and with the caveat that once we get the group shot, we're out.

 

[General Malaise]

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.

But, um.....what if you forgot what you were going to order after the menues were stacked up? Asking for a friend.

Do you mean after the server has taken them away? If not, give them a menu.
If yes, that depends on if your friend will tell someone at the table they forgot what they ordered.
It's happened to us. We usually figure it out.

Big fan of stacking up the menus and handing them to the server after we have all ordered. But I might need a sneak peak at mine one last time BEFORE we stack them all up.

I understand the signal you're giving off before the order to signify that you're ready, but I get distracted easily and I am a big talker so I forget sometimes what I wanted to order when the time comes.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.

But, um.....what if you forgot what you were going to order after the menues were stacked up? Asking for a friend.

Do you mean after the server has taken them away? If not, give them a menu.
If yes, that depends on if your friend will tell someone at the table they forgot what they ordered.
It's happened to us. We usually figure it out.

Big fan of stacking up the menus and handing them to the server after we have all ordered. But I might need a sneak peak at mine one last time BEFORE we stack them all up.

I understand the signal you're giving off before the order to signify that you're ready, but I get distracted easily and I am a big talker so I forget sometimes what I wanted to order when the time comes.

Sure, AFTER you order, it's common courtesy to help the server out and hand them back to them.

Never in my life have I seen anyone gather all the menus and stack them up as a sign they're ready to order.

I thought the universal sign was just closing the menu or putting it down.

I can only imagine what's going through the server's mind when the one guy stacks all the menus up and stares down the poor server with the look...

 

[Joe Bryant]

The substituting things on the menu is interesting.

I try to be empathetic on this one. I like just about all foods. So it would be pretty difficult to "ruin" something for me by including a normal part of the dish.

And if it did, I would just order something else. But I know some people really hate some things.

There's also the element of how much effort is required from the kitchen. If it's just leaving off something that's effectively a garnish, that's different than asking for something more integral to be removed.

On the flip side, I do think some restaurants err too much on the "no changes allowed" side. They're in the hospitality business.

One of my favorite spots on Los Angeles is Fathers Office. They are famous for their hamburger. But you get it their way. https://fathersoffice.com/menus/culver-city/

They even add to the menu: "NO SUBSTITUTIONS, ALTERATIONS, MODIFICATIONS, OR DELETIONS. YES. REALLY."

And it's not like the burger is totally normal. It has Gruyere and Blue Cheese on it. Not exactly cheddar when it comes to accessibility.

But I get it. It's delicious and it's crowded.

I was somewhere not long ago that made a big deal about not having salt and pepper on the table. They said the chef knew how to properly season the food.

So I think the right way is somewhere in the middle.

 

[nightmare]

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

Our family does this every time we go out. Easiest way to show that everybody is ready to order.

But, um.....what if you forgot what you were going to order after the menues were stacked up? Asking for a friend.

Do you mean after the server has taken them away? If not, give them a menu.
If yes, that depends on if your friend will tell someone at the table they forgot what they ordered.
It's happened to us. We usually figure it out.

Big fan of stacking up the menus and handing them to the server after we have all ordered. But I might need a sneak peak at mine one last time BEFORE we stack them all up.

I understand the signal you're giving off before the order to signify that you're ready, but I get distracted easily and I am a big talker so I forget sometimes what I wanted to order when the time comes.

Sure, AFTER you order, it's common courtesy to help the server out and hand them back to them.

Never in my life have I seen anyone gather all the menus and stack them up as a sign they're ready to order.

I thought the universal sign was just closing the menu or putting it down.

I can only imagine what's going through the server's mind when the one guy stacks all the menus up and stares down the poor server with the look...

No looks at the server. This is also a good signal to the slow one in the group it's about time to order.
This is not a "we are in a rush". Our get togethers are usually at a leisurely pace.
Everything is casual and relaxed.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Also, a benefit of being a regular is you get to know "the system". At our favorite local place, they still use paper for the check and taking orders. When you're seated, they put the check thing down on the table for the server to use. They take your drink order and then when you're ready to order food, you turn the check thing over and that's the signal for the server.

Sometimes you want to hang out a bit with the drink first. And others you're ready to order sooner. This way, you let the server know discreetly and they don't have to waste their time popping in if you're not ready yet. Works perfectly.

 

[Scoresman]

Here’s one for the group.

How do you feel about asking the server to write the order down? Some waiters don’t do this, and I definitely have anecdotal experiences where things were forgotten as a result.

On the other hand, I feel like asking them to write it down makes me sound like a huge prick so I never do it.

 

[General Malaise]

Here’s one for the group.

How do you feel about asking the server to write the order down? Some waiters don’t do this, and I definitely have anecdotal experiences where things were forgotten as a result.

On the other hand, I feel like asking them to write it down makes me sound like a huge prick so I never do it.

I never wrote things down. I'd get occasional comments, no demands and would generally joke "if I screw up, I'll buy yours" to the person questioning me. Usually got a laugh. It was pretty hard to forget from the table to the computer at a BBQ joint.

ETA: if it was DEMANDED of me, eh, I'd probably just pretend to write it to save the tip.

 

[Scoresman]

As for taking my time when dining out, I have mixed feelings. I want to be able to relax and not be rushed but the other side of the coin is that I’ve been in the situation where we had a reservation and it gets delayed because the tables are not ready and that’s annoying.

The blame lies mostly with the restaurant for booking too many reservations, but also with people who linger and aren’t reading the room, oblivious to the bunch of people who are waiting for a table. I always try to speed things up towards the end of the meal if I notice people waiting.

 

[MTskibum]

Don't get me wrong, I had a great time. We're extremely fortunate to have the time and resources to take multiple vacations, with different groups of friends. And there was plenty of laughter, I assure you.

I'm definitely learning to "let things go" as I age. Not exactly an on/off switch for me, and I think the peeve-producing personality traits can be constructive when helping to organize the trips. At the extreme, things won't get done, if the tone is too relaxed.

For what it is worth I agree with what you originally posted and go further, my wife and I sometimes know exactly what want before we get there and let the host know we don't need menus and will be ready immediately.

 

[Snoopy]

One place saw me coming, knew what I was going to order, and had it ready for me when I got to the counter.

 

[Snoopy]

On the flip side, I do think some restaurants err too much on the "no changes allowed" side. They're in the hospitality business.

One of my favorite spots on Los Angeles is Fathers Office. They are famous for their hamburger. But you get it their way. https://fathersoffice.com/menus/culver-city/

They even add to the menu: "NO SUBSTITUTIONS, ALTERATIONS, MODIFICATIONS, OR DELETIONS. YES. REALLY."

And it's not like the burger is totally normal. It has Gruyere and Blue Cheese on it. Not exactly cheddar when it comes to accessibility.

But I get it. It's delicious and it's crowded.

I

I have walked out of a restaurant without ordering when I saw such a policy and will do so again if I encounter it.

 

[Peggy]

Um, vacation and out with friends should be the ultimate signal to leave your watch at home. As long as the waitress keeps my drink full I'll let everyone else dictate the pace.

 

[Terminalxylem]

I can at least understand most of what the OP has mentioned even if it’s not my style or approach. BUT, I have dined out literally thousands of times with countless combinations of friends, family and colleagues, and I cannot remember one time when everyone stacked up all their menus on the table before ordering.

This is the only odd thing in the OPs list. But it used to be common place at diners and the like. Gotta let Mable know you’re ready to go!

I’ll add this To the list. I loathe all of the picture taking.

Yeah, pictures of food are a problem, only to be outdone by asking the host/server to be your group photographer.

As for the menus, if one person sets their’s down, I’ll sometimes place mine on top, after which a stack may ensue.

If there are multiple empty plates, I occasionally stack them as well. I may be wrong, but I believe this helps the server, while decluttering the table. And it keeps me busy, providing respite from slow dining angst.

 

[the moops]

On the flip side, I do think some restaurants err too much on the "no changes allowed" side. They're in the hospitality business.

One of my favorite spots on Los Angeles is Fathers Office. They are famous for their hamburger. But you get it their way. https://fathersoffice.com/menus/culver-city/

They even add to the menu: "NO SUBSTITUTIONS, ALTERATIONS, MODIFICATIONS, OR DELETIONS. YES. REALLY."

And it's not like the burger is totally normal. It has Gruyere and Blue Cheese on it. Not exactly cheddar when it comes to accessibility.

But I get it. It's delicious and it's crowded.

I

I have walked out of a restaurant without ordering when I saw such a policy and will do so again if I encounter it.

Do you often/always ask for substitutions when you go to restaurants?

 

[the moops]

If there are multiple empty plates, I occasionally stack them as well. I may be wrong, but I believe this helps the server, while decluttering the table

I always do this

 

[Snoopy]

On the flip side, I do think some restaurants err too much on the "no changes allowed" side. They're in the hospitality business.

One of my favorite spots on Los Angeles is Fathers Office. They are famous for their hamburger. But you get it their way. https://fathersoffice.com/menus/culver-city/

They even add to the menu: "NO SUBSTITUTIONS, ALTERATIONS, MODIFICATIONS, OR DELETIONS. YES. REALLY."

And it's not like the burger is totally normal. It has Gruyere and Blue Cheese on it. Not exactly cheddar when it comes to accessibility.

But I get it. It's delicious and it's crowded.

I

I have walked out of a restaurant without ordering when I saw such a policy and will do so again if I encounter it.

Do you often/always ask for substitutions when you go to restaurants?

I usually go to such places where they are not necessary, as I know they offer a "safe" item.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Lost in his manifesto was the art of splitting the check.....I was rather looking forward to that one.

Another interesting topic, though becoming a non-issue with electronic payment apps.

We usually try to pay the entire bill for smaller groups, particularly if they are our guests. I also don’t mind splitting the bill evenly, divided by the total number of people, without regard to specific orders.

I dislike groups where multiple people submit credit cards (one or two cards + Venmo/Paypal/Zell is preferable), and people who scrutinize the bill to ensure they pay for exactly what they’ve ordered, and nothing more.

 

[Keith R]

Here’s one for the group.

How do you feel about asking the server to write the order down? Some waiters don’t do this, and I definitely have anecdotal experiences where things were forgotten as a result.

On the other hand, I feel like asking them to write it down makes me sound like a huge prick so I never do it.

I may be skeptical but have never asked. I will absolutely let them know if something comes out incorrectly though

 

[massraider]

By the time you go on vacation with someone, you need to already know you can have dinner with them--on vacation.

If it is annoying to OP's friends, it's their fault. Before you spend a week with another couple, you need to know if they eat like they forgot their kid in the car with the windows rolled up.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Here’s one for the group.

How do you feel about asking the server to write the order down? Some waiters don’t do this, and I definitely have anecdotal experiences where things were forgotten as a result.

On the other hand, I feel like asking them to write it down makes me sound like a huge prick so I never do it.

I think it’s obnoxious.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Here’s one for the group.

How do you feel about asking the server to write the order down? Some waiters don’t do this, and I definitely have anecdotal experiences where things were forgotten as a result.

On the other hand, I feel like asking them to write it down makes me sound like a huge prick so I never do it.

I never wrote things down. I'd get occasional comments, no demands and would generally joke "if I screw up, I'll buy yours" to the person questioning me. Usually got a laugh. It was pretty hard to forget from the table to the computer at a BBQ joint.

ETA: if it was DEMANDED of me, eh, I'd probably just pretend to write it to save the tip.

But what if your server is this guy?

I get distracted easily and I am a big talker so I forget sometimes what I wanted to order when the time comes.

 

[ProstheticRGK]

1. Don’t waste time, order quickly and decisively. If you have to wait to be seated, check out the menu in advance.
2. After the obligatory delay between selecting drinks (unnecessary imo), stack the menus to signal your server you’re ready to order the food.
3. Keep changes to menu items at a minimum. While OK for legitimate food allergies/dietary restrictions, it’s unreasonable to do much more than omit a single ingredient.
4. Unless service/food is terrible, you really shouldn’t need to summon the server back to your table.

1. Relax
2. Seriously, relax.
3. Let people order what they want.
4. There are a number of reasons to summon the server. Need another drink, the kitchen didn't deliver what I asked for, I dropped my napkin on the floor and need a new one. I'm curious to hear some examples of when people have and you don't think they shouldn't have.

Hold up.....

Napkin? The thing you use to wipe off your hands? If that hits the ground you need a new one? What are you, British Royalty? It's a napkin, not a piece of gum.

Yeah unless I’m in a saloon where there’s beer and peanut shells on the ground i have no problem using the floor napkin. Willing to bet about 90% of the time I’m dining anywhere that provides a cloth napkin it falls on the floor at least once.
And for the saloon example I’m probably just wiping my hands on my jeans anyway

If I'm eating at a place with paper napkins, I'll sometimes ask the server for a few extra napkins for the table. But not if I'm dining with OP, he might stab me with a fork if I did that.

Cloth napkin goes on the ground I reason the place is fancy enough for cloth, it's probably had a Hokey run under the tables, I'm good.

I’m getting a new napkin because your damn dog is under the table, biting my ankles and the napkin probably fell right on his back.

 

[Terminalxylem]

If there are multiple empty plates, I occasionally stack them as well. I may be wrong, but I believe this helps the server, while decluttering the table

I always do this

Yeah, I think it’s the right thing to do, but sometimes wonder if the waitstaff prefers stacking plates/utensils in a specific way.

Related, I don’t like unnecessary removal of unused, or even lightly used flatware. Also try to reuse plates when I (rarely) go to buffets.

 

[Terminalxylem]

By the time you go on vacation with someone, you need to already know you can have dinner with them--on vacation.

If it is annoying to OP's friends, it's their fault. Before you spend a week with another couple, you need to know if they eat like they forgot their kid in the car with the windows rolled up.

I don’t think anyone is annoyed, as all these groups are recurring travel/activity friends.

And I believe I hide my impatience effectively.

 

[Snoopy]

Check the laws for reusing plates. Some jurisdictions have health laws requiring a clean plate for every trip.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

If there are multiple empty plates, I occasionally stack them as well. I may be wrong, but I believe this helps the server, while decluttering the table

I always do this

Yeah, I think it’s the right thing to do, but sometimes wonder if the waitstaff prefers stacking plates/utensils in a specific way.

Related, I don’t like unnecessary removal of unused, or even lightly used flatware. Also try to reuse plates when I (rarely) go to buffets.

in general, the server would prefer you not to stack the plates.

a bullet point for fine dining service: anything that is not being used should be removed from the table ASAP.