20 yrs. Old Song:
Surfin' USA - Jesus & Mary Chain
back in the summer of '89, woooahh
(ok, that's lame as ####)
guess who was
finally going to the "Coast"? yep, i latched on to a gig at a testing outfit in Hoboken that ran analytics on just about any product under the sun ... i glommed a niche in their food service arm, and donned a lab coat and wore safety glasses and fiddled with beakers and burners and sodium metabisulfite - which we used to preserve the membranes in our reverse osmosis caffeine analysis tanks ... and of which i accidentally tapped one night shift in lieu of my blow (which was on me 24/7/365 by this time) - the jars were side by side, i goofed - had a hell of a time explaining to the nurse why, exactly, i needed to massage that #### on my gums
was introduced to the powder in October of '88, whilst huddled in my buddy Caz's basement - there were about 20 or so folks down there, and the booze and blow were flying - i had never tried it, never cared to try it, never planned on trying it - upshot was that no one was smoking weed ... i just couldn't stand being around the mellow and goofy strains of any "Nod Squad" ... i wanted action, not turning into a puddle of pudding.
the big draw that had us in the basement that day was taking great pleasure in seeing the ####### Muttsies get their asses handed to them by the Orel Hershisers (or the Dodgers, if you will) ... we couldn't stand to have another Muttsie WS championship, '86 was pure hell (yeah, all Yankees fans present and accounted for down there).
in the midst of our celebrations, Caz offered me a line - sure, why the #### not, ya know?
!
mind you, at this point of the addiction, it was all fun and games, and the single greatest high you could ever hope for ... had yet to hit the "need an 8 ball just for maintenance" wall, nor was coming down the horror show it would be during the latter stages. i was just "LOUD/FAST/RULES!!!", much like the music i dug so much.
it lends itself to that breakneck pace, same way the Dead lend themselves to the nod squad ... soundtracks of our drug addled, youths, amirite? ya just couldn't listen to a 40 minute ####in' jam of "Friend of the Devil" wired on coke, just as ya couldn't pogo yer ### off to the Exploited when mellowed by weed ... ehhh, to each their own, and YMMV, of course.
so a vial and a packet or two stashed on my person became the norm. it was a glorious love affair, and i was it's perfect foil - compulsive, mercurial, impatient ... DEPENDENT.
it helped me excel on the night shifts i volunteered for ... you'd get fitty cent more per hour, and they would rotate weekly, but many of the older chaps wanted to be home with family, etc, so i would gladly take their spots. would pull 7p to 7a for weeks at a time - radio/casette/cd player at my side (we were forbidden to wear walkmen or any kinda headphones for safety concerns).
always worked out a plan with my partner on that shift ... from 7p-10p we would set up all tests as per the Chem Es protocol ... we'd have two dozen or so running each night. once they were all in their ovens or baths or freezers or tanks, we'd part ways - partner would hold the fort from10p-1a as i would hit the streets of Hoboken, hitting bars and sneaking bumps. i never got so drunk as to not be able to perform back at the lab, and the coke evened it out, anyways ... it was a simpatico sitch, and i adapted quite well.
i'd creep back in to the facility at a bit after 1a, and partner would then go and nap for the next three hours - we'd reconvene as a team at 4, and get down to the biz at hand, as most of the tests were completed and ready for data collection.
one of our better clients was a coffee company located in Moonachie (home of Giants Stadium) - i was a hotshot caffeine expert by this time, and that company was perfecting ways of eliminating Ethyl Acetate and Methylene Chloride from their decaff process, as the FDA was moving to ban said procedures. they developed a natural process, using high pressure co2. we'd recoup their caffeine content via the reverse osmosis technique i mentioned earlier - we'd take the water from their extraction tower and run it through a series of 48 membranes - what was pretty neat was the drip valve of concentrate at the end game ... it would come out with a paste like consistency - would eventually dry into pure. white. powder. 100% caffeine, enough to kill ya in just one decent snort. (no, i never tried
)
we'd ship the barrels full of this #### back to them, and they'd sell it off to pharma or food/beverage companies - JOLT! cola being a big customer. believe the hype.
this coffee company then needed to road test their newfangled decaff offering, this was done via "CLTs" - Central Location Testings ... they paired with a marketing firm from Valhala, N.Y., and proceeded to kick the tires.
i was asked to go on one of these excursions, to better explain our side of the testing and to give an objective slant to the proceedings .... the test area they asked me to attend was EL LAY, BABY!
J & M Chain were my obsession, musically, at that time (along with the Misfits) - "Psychcandy" changed all i ever thought music could be - i was captured by the seering/blistering feedback and goth-y pop sensibilities of the whole affair - it was simply drenched in abstract brilliance from every note - i recall one critic describing them as "the Ramones meet the Stooges in the Velvet Underground's kitchen while listening to the Beach Boys" - sign me up!
my gf Kristol felt likewise, and we bonded on everything ... she shared just about every passion in music and film and literature and art as i did ... and she was such a talented artist in her own right - the sweetest, most compassionate and gorgeous soul i ever encountered- she was far too beautiful for the world i showed her, and we lasted as long as she could stand my shennanigans and bull#### - this was our last summer together, and we made the most of it ... all the free time i had was spent as much as possible with her - she sat and watched me hoover boxes full of blow, but she never partook - she was a light drinker, and would smoke a few Marlboros, but that was about it - so her sitting their in my apartment, watching me go bonkers on the ####, started to take it's toll. she also couldn't stand the junkies and #### nutz i had partying with me constantly ... but our alone time was the greatest i ever spent with anyone, and we really bonded with the music.
she was kinda pissed about me heading to L.A., because i was gonna be away the weekend her mom was visiting family in Florida (her mom was a Cuban emigre, married an Italian from Brooklyn), giving her the freedom to hang with me all weekend, sleeping over, etc. was impossible otherwise as her mom hated my guts with a passion ... matter of fact, when we finally broke up, i went to her house to collect my share of the money we made from customizing biker jackets (i would buy them in bulk, and she would paint the most amazing designs/album covers, etc) - her mom threatened to call the cops when she saw me on the stoop, i told her i just wanted my cash ... her mom yelled: " YOU ####### AMERICANS, ALWAYS WITH THE MONEY!!!" - she was pissed - i never heard her go off like that ... she was a very religious type, and very accomplished (was a University professor before fleeing Cuba in '59) - was hard enough on her that her daughter looked like Siouxsie Sioux (mostly due to my Svengali tendencies), but now she had to desl with her greedy ### boyfriend.
so Kris lent me her luggage, and helped me pack ... i was leaving on a Friday morning, midsummer, and it was hot n' humid as all get out - my Morrissey coif was flopping, and her mascara was a fright - told her i'd call her soon as i landed.
morning of the flight i got a call from Serge back at work, he told me my flight was actually gonna land in San Diego, and that the girls from the consulting firm would neet me there, and we'd drive up to L.A. together. cool.
girls? hmmm ... now i was getting real psyched for the trip - started hitting the Old Grand Dad (plastic jug), and inhaling powder like i was going to the chair. made sure i had enough for my flight, and went over the hiding spots with my dealer Johnny, who came over to give me a bon voyage, of sorts.
once up in the air and smoove, i started to slam the Black Russians ... somewhere over Nebraska i realized that i was the most chemically incapacitated i'd ever been - put on my 'phones, and started blasting away in earnest. it didn't feel right, and i tried to steady myself. ehhhh.
as we were making the approach to San Diego, the pilot announced that we were witnessing a weather anomaly - a cloudy/rainy afternoon - which was few and far between for this destination - we descended out of a very thick cloud bank, and i saw a Spanish tiled roof come up at us outta nowhere, like the ####in' Matterhorn - was ####tin' myself thinking we were ginna clip it - was kinda awesome, in the "rush of a lifetime" vain. we literally fell out the clouds - was so damn surreal - though not allowed to have listening devices operating, i did - and as we made that descent i had this Jesus and Mary Chain tune ripping ... i saw the wings and wheels shifting for landing, as i was on the window - that adrenaline was almost as scintillating as being wired - it just meshed so perfectly with the opening salvo of the song - i had a moment!
met the marketing lasses at the Hertz counter, aaaand, yeah - i knew this was gonna be a hoot - both in their mid 20s, and quite attractive. first thing they asked? "you wanna go for a drink before the ride?"
i found a bathroom and bumped some more - i waved off the drinks, though they insisted, seeing as how they had a bottomless per diem to rip through - so i banged a few more Blacks, and off we went.
we were set up in the same hotel, and i checked in asap - called Kris, but while i was on the phone the two ladies barged in - pretty stewed, as they spent an hour at the hotel bar - Kris heard them carrying on, and hung the #### up. that left a mark.
i had never been to L.A. - i was dying to see the "Coast"! the land of Mr. Mojo Risin'! wanted to see that "bloody red sun of fantastic L.A." - but i deferred to an all night party with the marketing chicks. it had to be done. it really did.
next morning, guess what? WE ACTUALLY HAD WORK TO DO! the CLT was set up to run at a Church community center in Santa Monica, and we had to be there by 10 a.m.
the girls called me and said they were in the lobby waiting - hell, i hadn't even opened my eyes yet - got down there in 15 minutes, and these two were as buttoned up and sober and professional as could be. holy ####.
we went and ran the taste tests, i did my schtick via explaining the caffeine removal analytics process, then a whole buncha yentas and soccer moms and a few homeless lookin' types sat and evaluated. the test wound up a huge success, we ran three sessions, and each scored well over a 90% approval. the product was gonna be deemed fit for mass distribution out there. mission accomplished, for me - they had to fly up to Beaverton, Oregon to run a few more up there. they left that evening at 10, and i never saw 'em again.
i had a free Sunday morning/afternoon, as i was flying back red eye that night. was up very early, and struck up a convo with a waitress at the hotel restaurant- gorgeous Mexican girl by the name of "Pah-Mehh-Lah"( that's how she pronounced it) , or "Pamela", for us gringos
she agreed to meet up with me once she got off, which she arranged to be earlier than usual (11ish) - she called me, and told me to meet her at the bar area. we talked for a few minutes, then she offered to show me as much of L.A. as we could fit in - went and grabbed a few casettes ( she wouldn't come in my room - yet), and off we drove.
she had a Camaro with T-tops - hell yeah! it was a beautiful, cloudless day, and i was zapped by the palm trees and sights and sounds and people and the shoreline and the sun and the palm trees, again - we stopped to hit the beach, and i dipped. she laughed at my "touristy" hijinks (the way i did/do back here), and pulled me back to the car.
she loved the music, she was a fan of the Cure and the Smiths (Morrissey has a yuuuuuge following in the Mexican community there), so i was a natural fit for her. the tape rolled on to the "Surfin' USA" part as we approched a light - her eyes lit up, she was digging it so much - so i leaned in, and we had an awesome makeout session .... she held my hand the rest of the way - and on the way back to the hotel we were approaching the same light - she started yammering real fast findthattuneagain!findthattuneagain!" - i furiously rewound (is that a word?) 'til i hit it ("Always the Sun" by the Stranglers was the tune that preceded it, and i wanted it to play, but she was insistent on "Surfin' USA").
as we were nearing the light, she slooowwwed waaayyyy down, as if she wanted to fully stop ... i was like "wtf"? she said "WAIT!" - and as the light turned red, she recreated the moment we had earlier at that same light, with "Surfin' USA" playing. this time
she leaned in for the kiss. pretry slick.
arrived back at the hotel - we grabbed a few cocktails, and she got a light nosh ... then we adjourned to my room. she was very hesitant to come in, but eventually caved ... we sat and talked and enjoyed each other's company for the next 4 hours or so. it was just about the greatest day i ever spent with another person, and she felt likewise. it was tough saying goodbye knowing that we'd probably never cross paths again - she admitted to having a serious/steady guy, and i was with Kris back home - not to mention the 3,000+ mile chasm between us.
she offered to give me the airport run, but i refused - took her back to where i met her in the restaurant, and we said our goodbyes - she asked for a keepsake, and i obliged - it was the best damn mixed tape i had, easily my favorite ... but now it was hers. forever.
epilogue - broke up with Kris for good that coming October. i've missed her every day since.
Pamela called me once, on a Friday night right 'round Christmas time that year - she just said "I Love You" and hung up. i had zero chance to reply. i thought about reaching back out to her, but i kinda felt like she put the bow on it, and knew that it was all she really needed to say.
