Are You In Favor Of Not Allowing Social Media For Young People? (1 Viewer)

[Joe Bryant]

Sure but if the mother said, I want you to only eat salads, the kid would say ok if all her friends were too

I don't think so.

The quote from the daughter was that she was using social media to keep up and not be left out. And that if her friends stopped, she would too. And she'd like that.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I'm in favour of parents doing their job

Can you elaborate on specifically what this looks like?

For instance, does a 15 year get to have their phone with them all night?

I won't speak for Titus, but for me here are some of the things we did as part of our teen getting a phone...

We have the right to ask for her phone and check it anytime we want. Who is she texting, what apps does she have? etc.
Any social media she wants has to be approved and set up with properly restricting access to only certain people (some family, some friends)
Talking to her about the dangers of the internet, social media and people.
Trusting her but also checking in with her about it. Reminders.

Thanks. Does a 15 year old get to have their phone with them all night?

 

[belljr]

Sure but if the mother said, I want you to only eat salads, the kid would say ok if all her friends were too

I don't think so.

The quote from the daughter was that she was using social media to keep up and not be left out. And that if her friends stopped, she would too. And she'd like that.

My point and others is that I don't think that quote is so resounding kid thinking social media is bad. It's I don't want to miss out on "whatever it is".

Mom: how would you feel if you couldn't watch "TV show"

Kid: will my friends still watch

Mom: no they can't either

Kid: ok then good to not watch.

Insert makeup, clothes, maybe dating pending age and a variety of other things

 

[The Z Machine]

I don't allow it for my kids as i think it's terrible for them, but I'm opposed to restricting it by government dictat.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Sure but if the mother said, I want you to only eat salads, the kid would say ok if all her friends were too

I don't think so.

The quote from the daughter was that she was using social media to keep up and not be left out. And that if her friends stopped, she would too. And she'd like that.

My point and others is that I don't think that quote is so resounding kid thinking social media is bad. It's I don't want to miss out on "whatever it is".

Mom: how would you feel if you couldn't watch "TV show"

Kid: will my friends still watch

Mom: no they can't either

Kid: ok then good to not watch.

Insert makeup, clothes, maybe dating pending age and a variety of other things

I don't know about the other things. This was in the context of social media. The quote from the daughter was that she was using social media to keep up and not be left out. And that if her friends stopped, she would too. And she'd like that. Might be helpful to listen to it on the podcast for more context. It's toward the end.

I've seen this play out myself with kids at summer camp when all the people they're with put down the phones.

 

[rockaction]

That's the elephant in the room.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately concerning both sides of the political aisle (so we don't get into a partisan debate) and it's been enough to convince me that it's a horrible idea to start giving the government the power to do this. I think the benefit to society from giving adults the excuse to take away social media from their kids (they already can do this by virtue of being a parent) is not worth the tracking and information turned over to the government.

Everybody's mileage is going to vary, but I'm almost thoroughly convinced that this would be a bad idea.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I don't allow it for my kids as i think it's terrible for them, but I'm opposed to restricting it by government dictat.

Thanks. Can you elaborate on what you allow and how old the kids are?

 

[Joe Bryant]

Everybody's mileage is going to vary, but I'm almost thoroughly convinced that this would be a bad idea.

Are you good with letting it continue on as it is? That's the alternative.

Or maybe another alternative?

 

[massraider]

Sure but if the mother said, I want you to only eat salads, the kid would say ok if all her friends were too

I don't think so.

The quote from the daughter was that she was using social media to keep up and not be left out. And that if her friends stopped, she would too. And she'd like that.

100%

And when I read that, my thought was that some mom needs to have the "if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" discussion.

Maybe raise a kid with a little backbone, that can think for themselves.

 

[belljr]

Sure but if the mother said, I want you to only eat salads, the kid would say ok if all her friends were too

I don't think so.

The quote from the daughter was that she was using social media to keep up and not be left out. And that if her friends stopped, she would too. And she'd like that.

My point and others is that I don't think that quote is so resounding kid thinking social media is bad. It's I don't want to miss out on "whatever it is".

Mom: how would you feel if you couldn't watch "TV show"

Kid: will my friends still watch

Mom: no they can't either

Kid: ok then good to not watch.

Insert makeup, clothes, maybe dating pending age and a variety of other things

I don't know about the other things. This was in the context of social media. The quote from the daughter was that she was using social media to keep up and not be left out. And that if her friends stopped, she would too. And she'd like that. Might be helpful to listen to it on the podcast for more context. It's toward the end.

I've seen this play out myself with kids at summer camp when all the people they're with put down the phones.

Maybe listening would help but I'm basing it on your post in the OP and I feel like you could insert anything that would FOMO a kid

 

[Bottomfeeder Sports]

What the daughter said. That kids would give up social media if their friends would too.

I don't think that the quote can be used to exprolate such a conclusion.

We'll disagree there then. That was also the opinion of the mother of the daughter. I'd suggest listening to the podcast for more context. It's toward the end.

I don't know if I disagree you. In part because I don't know how many kids could imagine not having social media to be on board.

But my point is that a quote or two or ten of what one would do cannot be extrapolated to represent the views of a population.

The quote from the daughter was that she was using social media to keep up and not be left out. And that if her friends stopped, she would too. And she'd like that.

This is a completely different claim from "[(most) other] kids would give up social media if their friends would too".

 

[Gr00vus]

I'm in favour of parents doing their job

Can you elaborate on specifically what this looks like?

For instance, does a 15 year get to have their phone with them all night?

I won't speak for Titus, but for me here are some of the things we did as part of our teen getting a phone...

We have the right to ask for her phone and check it anytime we want. Who is she texting, what apps does she have? etc.
Any social media she wants has to be approved and set up with properly restricting access to only certain people (some family, some friends)
Talking to her about the dangers of the internet, social media and people.
Trusting her but also checking in with her about it. Reminders.

Thanks. Does a 15 year old get to have their phone with them all night?

Why do you keep asking this?

 

[B Maverick]

I'm in favour of parents doing their job

Can you elaborate on specifically what this looks like?

For instance, does a 15 year get to have their phone with them all night?

I won't speak for Titus, but for me here are some of the things we did as part of our teen getting a phone...

We have the right to ask for her phone and check it anytime we want. Who is she texting, what apps does she have? etc.
Any social media she wants has to be approved and set up with properly restricting access to only certain people (some family, some friends)
Talking to her about the dangers of the internet, social media and people.
Trusting her but also checking in with her about it. Reminders.

Thanks. Does a 15 year old get to have their phone with them all night?

Mine does. If I teach and trust them to have it all day, why would the night be different? Plus hopefully she is sleeping....

 

[Joe Bryant]

Maybe raise a kid with a little backbone, that can think for themselves.

Sure. But I think the temptation is too great for almost all kids. It's cool to say be the one who isn't participating in the thing every single other person is participating in.

But social pressures, especially among young teens is huge. Especially for something so mainstream as Instagram. This isn't pressure to try heroin. This is perceived to be something literally everyone is doing.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Why do you keep asking this?

Because I'm interested in the answer?

 

[Joe Bryant]

Mine does. If I teach and trust them to have it all day, why would the night be different? Plus hopefully she is sleeping....

Thanks. And that's exactly what they talk about in the podcast. Hopefully, they're sleeping. Many are not.

 

[Bottomfeeder Sports]

I've seen this play out myself with kids at summer camp when all the people they're with put down the phones.

I think that this is a better claim. When kids are forced to leave social media behind they quick get over it and arguably do better things with their time.

 

[rockaction]

Are you good with letting it continue on as it is? That's the alternative.

Or maybe another alternative?

I don't see another alternative if it is made illegal for people under sixteen. There must be some ID mechanism that everybody uses.

Therefore, I won't wriggle out and play it half of the way. I'll just say that I'm good with letting it continue as it currently is even though I know it's harmful to younger kids. I hate to say it or sound too paranoid or even libertarian (and I've really never been a full-bore civil libertarian) but at this point in our nation's history I think an ID requirement to be on the internet is a worse idea than people think. I don't doubt anybody who genuinely believes that this must be done; I'm just really not sanguine at all about curing this problem and potentially starting an encroachment on privacy, speech, and thought.

 

[belljr]

My kid had a phone and never did social media outside texting. She just installed Snapchat in college after my encouragement lol. She used Twitter and The Gram for recruiting only "against her will"

 

[Joe Bryant]

I've seen this play out myself with kids at summer camp when all the people they're with put down the phones.

I think that this is a better claim. When kids are forced to leave social media behind they quick get over it and arguably do better things with their time.

Thanks. And that's one of the main points of the author in the podcast. That we no longer allow our kids to have free play and explore and do what many of us considered a normal childhood.

 

[Bottomfeeder Sports]

Hopefully, they're sleeping. Many are not.

Is XBOX social media?

I'm not much of an expert, but if I'd extrapolate my limited exposure to teens and preteens this is where I think kids are at night.

 

[Joe Bryant]

My kid had a phone and never did social media outside texting. She just installed Snapchat in college after my encouragement lol. She used Twitter and The Gram for recruiting only "against her will"

Thanks. Do you feel like your daughter not participating in social media in High School was a negative, positive or neutral?

 

[Gr00vus]

I've seen this play out myself with kids at summer camp when all the people they're with put down the phones.

I think that this is a better claim. When kids are forced to leave social media behind they quick get over it and arguably do better things with their time.

Thanks. And that's one of the main points of the author in the podcast. That we no longer allow our kids to have free play and explore and do what many of us considered a normal childhood.

I blame that on frightened overprotective parents more than anything else. In fact, we may be driving them to social media where they can experience some freedom and independence, as we don't grant them any in the real world.

 

[B Maverick]

Mine does. If I teach and trust them to have it all day, why would the night be different? Plus hopefully she is sleeping....

Thanks. And that's exactly what they talk about in the podcast. Hopefully, they're sleeping. Many are not.

Why is it different then when we were kids trying to stay up all night, talking to friends. Did you have a landline phone in your room? I got one at 16.
Were you reading comic books? Oh, maybe you were reading FF mags or ??

What about laptops? Same access as cell phones.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I blame that on frightened overprotective parents more than anything else. In fact, we may be driving them to social media where they can experience some freedom and independence, as we don't grant them any in the real world.

He talks about that as well. I bet you'd find the podcast interesting.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Are you good with letting it continue on as it is? That's the alternative.

Or maybe another alternative?

I don't see another alternative if it is made illegal for people under sixteen. There must be some ID mechanism that everybody uses.

Therefore, I won't wriggle out and play it half of the way. I'll just say that I'm good with letting it continue as it currently is even though I know it's harmful to younger kids. I hate to say it or sound too paranoid or even libertarian (and I've really never been a full-bore civil libertarian) but at this point in our nation's history I think an ID requirement to be on the internet is a worse idea than people think. I don't doubt anybody who genuinely believes that this must be done; I'm just really not sanguine at all about curing this problem and potentially starting an encroachment on privacy, speech, and thought.

I don't agree, but this is an honest position to take. And your concerns are more well-founded than I would prefer.

 

[CGRdrJoe]

I've seen this play out myself with kids at summer camp when all the people they're with put down the phones.

I think that this is a better claim. When kids are forced to leave social media behind they quick get over it and arguably do better things with their time.

Thanks. And that's one of the main points of the author in the podcast. That we no longer allow our kids to have free play and explore and do what many of us considered a normal childhood.

I blame that on frightened overprotective parents more than anything else. In fact, we may be driving them to social media where they can experience some freedom and independence, as we don't grant them any in the real world.

Todd Marinovich is the poster child for this

 

[Gr00vus]

Why do you keep asking this?

Because I'm interested in the answer?

What insight would an answer to this give you? Is it a proxy for just asking what kind of limits parents put on phone usage, or what parents consider acceptable usage?

 

[Joe Bryant]

Mine does. If I teach and trust them to have it all day, why would the night be different? Plus hopefully she is sleeping....

Thanks. And that's exactly what they talk about in the podcast. Hopefully, they're sleeping. Many are not.

Why is it different then when we were kids trying to stay up all night, talking to friends. Did you have a landline phone in your room? I got one at 16.
Were you reading comic books? Oh, maybe you were reading FF mags or ??

What about laptops? Same access as cell phones.

That's exactly what I'm saying. We had a landline and could talk to a girlfriend maybe. Kids today don't have a landline to one person. They have every bit of content, regardless of how appropriate, one click away. Not to mention exposure to a world of actual people, many of whom don't have their best interests in mind.

What kids today have access to in their room, and the dangers they're exposed to in their room from other people, is almost unfathomable compared to the landline I had.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Why do you keep asking this?

Because I'm interested in the answer?

What insight would an answer to this give you? Is it a proxy for just asking what kind of limits parents put on phone usage, or what parents consider acceptable usage?

Insight from caring and well meaning parents here on how they're dealing with this today.

 

[Rich Conway]

Thanks. And that's one of the main points of the author in the podcast. That we no longer allow our kids to have free play and explore and do what many of us considered a normal childhood.

We have data that shows this began long before the advent of social media. The internet may have hastened it, but it certainly didn't start it.

 

[B Maverick]

Mine does. If I teach and trust them to have it all day, why would the night be different? Plus hopefully she is sleeping....

Thanks. And that's exactly what they talk about in the podcast. Hopefully, they're sleeping. Many are not.

Why is it different then when we were kids trying to stay up all night, talking to friends. Did you have a landline phone in your room? I got one at 16.
Were you reading comic books? Oh, maybe you were reading FF mags or ??

What about laptops? Same access as cell phones.

That's exactly what I'm saying. We had a landline and could talk to a girlfriend maybe. Kids today don't have a landline to one person. They have every bit of content, regardless of how appropriate, one click away. Not to mention exposure to a world of actual people, many of whom don't have their best interests in mind.

What kids today have access to in their room, and the dangers they're exposed to in their room from other people, is almost unfathomable compared to the landline I had.

Oh for sure and this is something I am very aware of as a parent. And why actual parenting is important to me. And why this is a good discussion.

 

[CGRdrJoe]

pRon has never been restricted, do you think because they put the nudie mags behind a black tint divider in Barnes and Noble that kids can't grab it and look at it?

This is the mindset I was talking about. Saw it earlier today in another thread as well.

so going off your earlier message of dispensing with the "they'll circumvent it anyway argument" what is the point of trying to enact a law if it's easily circumvented? It's a waste of time.

 

[rockaction]

I don't agree, but this is an honest position to take. And your concerns are more well-founded than I would prefer.

Thanks. It does indeed come from a really honest place. The past month or so I've spent a lot of time getting the lay of the political land. I've been spending much less time here and have sort of been reading a ton. I haven't even paid attention to my dynasty FF team and we're having bidding on free agents and other things (which I normally am all over and live for) and I can't even be moved to care or check in about it. I'm definitely not going to make a partisan comment here, but I've never been so tremendously concerned and fearful (and I was never one to be "scared" or shrink about any American party or administration coming to power, nor need protection from words or claims made by our political class) for the country. I mean, it's not even close to anything I've delved into in my lifetime.

So no, no mechanism for the government to track anything. I stand by that even while there are kids that suffer. We have parents that can regulate if they see fit to do so.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

What the daughter said. That kids would give up social media if their friends would too.

I don't think that the quote can be used to exprolate such a conclusion.

We'll disagree there then. That was also the opinion of the mother of the daughter. I'd suggest listening to the podcast for more context. It's toward the end.

Sure but if the mother said, I want you to only eat salads, the kid would say ok if all her friends were too

This is when you call child protective services. Monsters.

 

[Gr00vus]

Why do you keep asking this?

Because I'm interested in the answer?

What insight would an answer to this give you? Is it a proxy for just asking what kind of limits parents put on phone usage, or what parents consider acceptable usage?

Insight from caring and well meaning parents here on how they're dealing with this today.

If I judge they can handle it, they can have it. If they prove they can't handle it, then they can't have it. Like just about anything else.

 

[titusbramble]

I'm in favour of parents doing their job

Can you elaborate on specifically what this looks like?

For instance, does a 15 year old get to have their phone with them all night?

This is a good question. I speak as not being a parent, and likely never being one, but I would like to think it would be within some range of the realms of possible to educate my kids about the issues that social media has, and that being on your phone all night might not be the most healthy thing to do. Some people are dicks - we're just in an age where if someone is being a ****, they don't immediately get a straight right in response because internet, I'm pretty sure there weren't calls to ban the school yard (or whatever you have over there because I'm UK) as people are occasionally mean to others on it

 

[kutta]

What’s really weird to me is that it’s usually the right who pushes these kinds of things. Yet in the same breath they talk about personal liberties and freedoms. I truly don’t understand why the right continually wants MORE government involvement in certain issues while while saying parents and individuals are responsible for others.

Hey, I have a good idea if we are concerned about our society. Let’s get rid of everyone’s guns.

Thanks for the political warning. I was just trying to make the point that a lot of the same people supporting unlimited gun ownership are the people who want these kinds of restrictions. And they get the “slippery slope” argument for guns, but not for this.

I get what you are saying. For me it boils down to us allowing the government to make this call. Once that starts, it will never end. They’ll put age restrictions on other things because, hey, we already have it for social media and porn and gambling. What can it hurt?

Just as you say parents can get around it if they want their kids to have it, I say parents can prevent it if they don’t want their kids to have it.

Leave it to the parents and leave the government out of it.

Oh come on. You know it was a "gotcha" attempt at conservatives and not a very thinly veiled one at that.

And are you saying that there should be no age restrictions on anything? Because it really seems like that is what you are advocating. "Slippery slope" and all.

I don't understand your post.

And no, I don't think there should be government-mandated age restrictions on the Internet.

 

[massraider]

I blame that on frightened overprotective parents more than anything else. In fact, we may be driving them to social media where they can experience some freedom and independence, as we don't grant them any in the real world

Its ridiculous.

The delicious irony here?

Parents are terrified of what can happen to kids if they leave the house. Why? Because the dang parents are on social media too much, doom scrolling.

We need a Facebook account that notifies parents every time a kid leaves the house and does NOT get abducted. Maybe level the field here a bit, and less kids will be sent off to college as pasty little nothings with no social interaction.

 

[Ilov80s]

I blame that on frightened overprotective parents more than anything else. In fact, we may be driving them to social media where they can experience some freedom and independence, as we don't grant them any in the real world

Its ridiculous.

The delicious irony here?

Parents are terrified of what can happen to kids if they leave the house. Why? Because the dang parents are on social media too much, doom scrolling.

We need a Facebook account that notifies parents every time a kid leaves the house and does NOT get abducted. Maybe level the field here a bit, and less kids will be sent off to college as pasty little nothings with no social interaction.

It really is insane irony. This over the top fear (despite living in a world far safer than it was 20-30 years ago) drives the kids on to social media which we know for a fact is a mental health nightmare. Talk about a self created problem.

 

[Mister CIA]

If you don't like the smell of cigarette smoke, you can opt for a seat in the non-smoking section.

 

[dgreen]

pRon has never been restricted, do you think because they put the nudie mags behind a black tint divider in Barnes and Noble that kids can't grab it and look at it?

This is the mindset I was talking about. Saw it earlier today in another thread as well.

so going off your earlier message of dispensing with the "they'll circumvent it anyway argument" what is the point of trying to enact a law if it's easily circumvented? It's a waste of time.

Speeding is easily circumvented.

 

[dgreen]

I blame that on frightened overprotective parents more than anything else. In fact, we may be driving them to social media where they can experience some freedom and independence, as we don't grant them any in the real world

Its ridiculous.

The delicious irony here?

Parents are terrified of what can happen to kids if they leave the house. Why? Because the dang parents are on social media too much, doom scrolling.

We need a Facebook account that notifies parents every time a kid leaves the house and does NOT get abducted. Maybe level the field here a bit, and less kids will be sent off to college as pasty little nothings with no social interaction.

It really is insane irony. This over the top fear (despite living in a world far safer than it was 20-30 years ago) drives the kids on to social media which we know for a fact is a mental health nightmare. Talk about a self created problem.

When my daughter started driving, she told me that she looks under the car as she's approaching it in the parking lot. She did that because of posts about dudes who hide under cars, slack women's achilles, and kidnap them. I told her that I doubt that has ever happened. Ok, maybe literally once or twice. There's always lone crazy stories out there. But, I challenged her to find a single legit news article about someone doing that. I didn't want her living her fear.

Some time later, we were talking again about that same general topic. I thought she was living in fear of low probability events. She then started to tell me all the times creepy dudes had approached her over the years. "Have you ever done any modeling?" "Do you want to go to a party with us?" Guys just following her and her friends around the mall. It was eye opening. Now, none of those are on the level with some crazy guy hiding underneath your car, but mix in fake fear-based social media messages with some real life experiences and I can see how she had some fears and worried about being kidnapped.

 

[The Z Machine]

I don't allow it for my kids as i think it's terrible for them, but I'm opposed to restricting it by government dictat.

Thanks. Can you elaborate on what you allow and how old the kids are?

My twins turn 11 in May. They don't have phones and we got them Fire Tablets for XMas with kids mode. No social media accounts and no talking to anyone on any app or device unless you know them face to face. They get 1 hour of screen time per day that they can spend on TV or playing video games or watching YouTube. We try and monitor the content but it's tough.

I know it'll only get tougher.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

I don't agree, but this is an honest position to take. And your concerns are more well-founded than I would prefer.

Thanks. It does indeed come from a really honest place. The past month or so I've spent a lot of time getting the lay of the political land. I've been spending much less time here and have sort of been reading a ton. I haven't even paid attention to my dynasty FF team and we're having bidding on free agents and other things (which I normally am all over and live for) and I can't even be moved to care or check in about it. I'm definitely not going to make a partisan comment here, but I've never been so tremendously concerned and fearful (and I was never one to be "scared" or shrink about any American party or administration coming to power, nor need protection from words or claims made by our political class) for the country. I mean, it's not even close to anything I've delved into in my lifetime.

So no, no mechanism for the government to track anything. I stand by that even while there are kids that suffer. We have parents that can regulate if they see fit to do so.

I know where you're coming from. You and I are probably just trying to same OFF switch but can't figure out where it is.

 

[thecatch]

I know a lot of people blame the internet, social media, and phones for the loss of what we would probably refer to as unstructured play time, or in more common parlance, the fondness many of us have for the days when we took off on our bikes with friends and came home when it was dark. However, data shows pretty clearly that unstructured play time has been in a fairly steady decline since the '80s. Internet and social media are partly to blame, but we can also blame increasing focus on organized sports (travel teams, private coaching/lessons, year-round practices, etc.), the media sensationalizing a few child disappearances in the 80s, and other factors.

There were some other preexisting trends, for sure, but there is apparently a lot of data showing massive changes from 2010-ish forward. We know enough to know social media for young kids specifically is a massive problem and shouldn't try to shoehorn that in with some of the other stuff you are talking about and throw up our hands.

 

[Scoresman]

On the surface, I feel like nobody should tell people how to raise their kids. But then I think of all the people who believe in stuff like flat earth, pyramids built by aliens, etc. and I wonder if we really should be letting these people raise a generation of children without intervention.

 

[Bottomfeeder Sports]

We know enough to know social media for young kids specifically is a massive problem and shouldn't try to shoehorn that in with some of the other stuff you are talking about and throw up our hands.

I would argue that toothless legislation that says this is bad is pretty much the definition of throwing up those hands.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Thanks. And that's one of the main points of the author in the podcast. That we no longer allow our kids to have free play and explore and do what many of us considered a normal childhood.

We have data that shows this began long before the advent of social media. The internet may have hastened it, but it certainly didn't start it.

Correct. He (and I) are not saying that started with social media. He talks about that in the podcast as well how this started in the late 90s.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Why do you keep asking this?

Because I'm interested in the answer?

What insight would an answer to this give you? Is it a proxy for just asking what kind of limits parents put on phone usage, or what parents consider acceptable usage?

Insight from caring and well meaning parents here on how they're dealing with this today.

If I judge they can handle it, they can have it. If they prove they can't handle it, then they can't have it. Like just about anything else.

Thanks. Insight from parents like that was why I asked.