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Dear lady who doored my car tonight, (1 Viewer)

Nigel

Nigel

Footballguy
After a quick stop at Home Depot after work this evening I got into my car to head home. I turned the ignition then paused to check email, and saw a red exclamation-pointed entry at the top of my inbox. Horrible news, critical deal pushing to 2018, the same order that just yesterday I'd assured to upper management would 100% close this week is slipping. ####!!! The entire unit will miss its number because of this. I sat and stewed as I thought about the repercussions, lost in thought for a few minutes, felt kind of nauseous...Then you opened the rear passenger door of your car parked next to mine and SLAMMED it into my driver's side door...slammed it in such a seemingly reckless way that I immediately judged you didn't give a #### about anyone but yourself, and clearly didn't realize that I was in the car to protest. But as you now know I was in the car, and I protested like a ####### lunatic.

Before I'd even looked up from my phone I'd punched the horn, pressed and held the window-down button, snapped my head to the left and..."Watch your ####### door!" I screamed at you before I even knew who I was screaming at. And then I saw your horrified face and tired eyes looking straight at mine, and I saw the kid in the back you'd just put in his car seat, and the overflowing bags full of Home Depot #### at your feet. And you asked me in a way that made me think you were truly hurt "why are you swearing at me??? I didn't meant it...", and I was immediately embarrassed. I said "I'm sorry, it seemed like you were being really careless, I obviously overreacted...". You looked at my car and said calmly "there's no damage...Merry Christmas" in an I-feel-bad-for-you way, walked around to the other side of your car, got in and drove away.

I'm sorry, I need to chill the #### out. :(

Nigel

 
Ugh I hate when stuff like that happens. Hopefully sharing your story produced some level of catharsis. Merry Christmas GB.

 
You... F’ing... doosh...  Sounds like my Tuesday. Give yourself a pass. If anyone knows a bad day it’s a parent of a kid dragged against his will to Home Depot. 

 
I mean, she still slammed her door into yours... that's a pretty crummy thing to do.

But the older I get, the more I truly realize everyone is fighting some kind of tough battle, probably many. 

So I always try to remember that - sometimes more successfully than others.

Your apology was the thing that turned this from something ugly into something reaffirming, so good on you.

 
Nigel said:
After a quick stop at Home Depot after work this evening I got into my car to head home. I turned the ignition then paused to check email, and saw a red exclamation-pointed entry at the top of my inbox. Horrible news, critical deal pushing to 2018, the same order that just yesterday I'd assured to upper management would 100% close this week is slipping. ####!!! The entire unit will miss its number because of this. I sat and stewed as I thought about the repercussions, lost in thought for a few minutes, felt kind of nauseous...Then you opened the rear passenger door of your car parked next to mine and SLAMMED it into my driver's side door...slammed it in such a seemingly reckless way that I immediately judged you didn't give a #### about anyone but yourself, and clearly didn't realize that I was in the car to protest. But as you now know I was in the car, and I protested like a ####### lunatic.

Before I'd even looked up from my phone I'd punched the horn, pressed and held the window-down button, snapped my head to the left and..."Watch your ####### door!" I screamed at you before I even knew who I was screaming at. And then I saw your horrified face and tired eyes looking straight at mine, and I saw the kid in the back you'd just put in his car seat, and the overflowing bags full of Home Depot #### at your feet. And you asked me in a way that made me think you were truly hurt "why are you swearing at me??? I didn't meant it...", and I was immediately embarrassed. I said "I'm sorry, it seemed like you were being really careless, I obviously overreacted...". You looked at my car and said calmly "there's no damage...Merry Christmas" in an I-feel-bad-for-you way, walked around to the other side of your car, got in and drove away.

I'm sorry, I need to chill the #### out. :(

Nigel
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Should have escalated. She did not bow down to your authoritah.

 
6 years ago I did this on accident. I had just bought a new truck and was still getting used to it. I opened the door and it just went farther than I was used to and hit the truck next to mine. The guy saw me and I gave him a sheepish look and said I'm sorry. Then I went and did my shopping and when I came back out he was gone but had left me a nice present. He had keyed the entire driver side of my truck, deep enough that touch up paint didn't fix it. 

 
tommyboy said:
6 years ago I did this on accident. I had just bought a new truck and was still getting used to it. I opened the door and it just went farther than I was used to and hit the truck next to mine. The guy saw me and I gave him a sheepish look and said I'm sorry. Then I went and did my shopping and when I came back out he was gone but had left me a nice present. He had keyed the entire driver side of my truck, deep enough that touch up paint didn't fix it. 
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sorry. 

 
Eh, sometimes we all act like #######s particularly when stressed.  Sounds like you realized it, don't fixate on it, move on, and try to make the rest of your interactions with strangers that much more friendly and in keeping with season.  It's all good.   :thumbup:

 
brohans i think about this very type of thing quite a bit expecially this time of year over the last thirty to forty years one really big change i see is that so many are right on the edge of losing their cool all the time you can see it driving you can see it at youth sports events you can see it at workplaces and on and on it is just as if everyone is walking a tightrope and ready to pop this sort of comes hand in hand with the whole he disrespected me culture look the fact is brohans that none of us on this message board have it too tough even our worst days when literally everything is falling apart are not so bad compared to what could be there are people who literally dont know where they will sleep that night or where the next bite to eat will come from or who are literally worried about bombs falling on their heads none of us have to deal with that so for this holiday season take a step back realize that honestly it is all good for us and hug the ones around you that you love and are friends and just be good to others regardless of whatever proverbial door ding they might have given you hey we got it pretty good and like old nigel up there learned its better to just take a deep breath and keep your cool take that to the bank brohans 

 
Meh—I think it’s nice that you immediately introspected and realized that maybe your reaction was possibility too exaggerated for the situation—but I do think that some sort of negative reaction was warranted and necessary.   Having a kid doesn’t absolve a person from neglecting to be mindful and careful to the property of others.   Every good parent teaches their kids this starting at a very young age. Maybe you shouldn’t have cursed and could have toned down the vigor in which you reacted—but I absolutely believe that a somewhat negative reaction was necessary.  You should have come out, checked for damage—and then said something to the effect of “please be more careful from now on”.   

 
I think it is only natural to jump at someone in a situation like that.  I was parked in a supermarket parking lot and walking back to my car l saw some woman push a shopping cart away from her car and it went straight for my car.  She pushed it hard enough that it made a loud impact sound.  I immediately got in her face and ripped into her.  Sorry, didn't really notice her cans (this supermarket didn't sell paint).

 
I might have acted like that before I had kids.

Now that I have kids...

My kids have thrown the door open into another car.  I hope they don't get that reaction.  They are 'careless' (in the true sense of the word), still learning how to open a car door.  Luckily the guy had a brand new Subaru and was cool about it, just a number and address, he mailed me a receipt and I mailed him a check ($75, I rounded up to $100 for his inconvenience)

The other side of it is that you open your doors a lot more as a parent, loading kids in, loading them out.  It's one thing to squeeze your body out, but another to squeeze your body and a child's wriggling body in and out.  Doors open more than the parent would like, contact other doors.  There is generally no damage or a tiny scuff that is rubbed out by hand.  

And every day parking spots get smaller as real estate prices climb, it's not a perfect world.  Good reflection by Nigel, hope others take it to heart as well

 
wilked said:
I might have acted like that before I had kids.

Now that I have kids...

My kids have thrown the door open into another car.  I hope they don't get that reaction.  They are 'careless' (in the true sense of the word), still learning how to open a car door.  Luckily the guy had a brand new Subaru and was cool about it, just a number and address, he mailed me a receipt and I mailed him a check ($75, I rounded up to $100 for his inconvenience)

The other side of it is that you open your doors a lot more as a parent, loading kids in, loading them out.  It's one thing to squeeze your body out, but another to squeeze your body and a child's wriggling body in and out.  Doors open more than the parent would like, contact other doors.  There is generally no damage or a tiny scuff that is rubbed out by hand.  

And every day parking spots get smaller as real estate prices climb, it's not a perfect world.  Good reflection by Nigel, hope others take it to heart as well
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Was it a tight parking spot? Maybe park farther away so the kids opening the door won't be an issue?

Good on you for paying it and taking responsibility.

 
The light of dawn did reveal a small paint chip/divot. First blemish on the car as far as I know, I've only had it for 6 weeks. I think the newness of the car contributed to me flying off the handle. It's hardly noticeable but indicative of her having given it a pretty solid whack.

In summary she deserved to be called out on it but my delivery was awful, and the speed with which I went from zero to 100 on the rage scale is troubling. Something to work on.

 
Nigel said:
The light of dawn did reveal a small paint chip/divot. First blemish on the car as far as I know, I've only had it for 6 weeks. I think the newness of the car contributed to me flying off the handle. It's hardly noticeable but indicative of her having given it a pretty solid whack.

In summary she deserved to be called out on it but my delivery was awful, and the speed with which I went from zero to 100 on the rage scale is troubling. Something to work on.
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Kudos to you for recognizing it. 

My big challenge is getting upset with my kid before I hear the whole story. I’ve given my daughters permission to interrupt my ‘rants’ if they have a good reason for the behavior or situation I’m upset about. 

I know I will never be perfect but also I need to be called out on it when I’m being unreasonable. 

 
tommyboy said:
6 years ago I did this on accident. I had just bought a new truck and was still getting used to it. I opened the door and it just went farther than I was used to and hit the truck next to mine. The guy saw me and I gave him a sheepish look and said I'm sorry. Then I went and did my shopping and when I came back out he was gone but had left me a nice present. He had keyed the entire driver side of my truck, deep enough that touch up paint didn't fix it. 
Click to expand...
Shark move is to casually memorize then write down their license plate number so it either makes them think twice before doing it or you have them red handed afterward. 

 
Except I never imagined someone would key my entire left side of a suburban. That's like twenty feet of rage. Like nuking a grasshopper

 
tommyboy said:
6 years ago I did this on accident. I had just bought a new truck and was still getting used to it. I opened the door and it just went farther than I was used to and hit the truck next to mine. The guy saw me and I gave him a sheepish look and said I'm sorry. Then I went and did my shopping and when I came back out he was gone but had left me a nice present. He had keyed the entire driver side of my truck, deep enough that touch up paint didn't fix it. 
Click to expand...
Keying your car obviously wasn't justified, but you need to inspect the damage and come to some sort of an agreement after dinging someone's car. Not just apologize and walk away.

 
Nigel said:
Before I'd even looked up from my phone I'd punched the horn, pressed and held the window-down button, snapped my head to the left and..."Watch your ####### door!" I screamed at you before I even knew who I was screaming at. And then I saw your horrified face and tired eyes looking straight at mine, and I saw the kid in the back you'd just put in his car seat, and the overflowing bags full of Home Depot #### at your feet. And you asked me in a way that made me think you were truly hurt "why are you swearing at me??? I didn't meant it...", and I was immediately embarrassed. I said "I'm sorry, it seemed like you were being really careless, I obviously overreacted...". You looked at my car and said calmly "there's no damage...Merry Christmas" in an I-feel-bad-for-you way, walked around to the other side of your car, got in and drove away.

I'm sorry, I need to chill the #### out. :(

Nigel
Click to expand...
She still did it, why give her a free pass because she cannot be careful when putting her kid in the car?  Did it leave a ding or was there really no damage?

 
Been teaching my kids since they were little to open car doors slowly so as not to bang the car next to them. And they do wonderfully at this. I can pretty much park anywhere and they are really good about this.....except....

IN OUR FOOKING DRIVEWAY.  :wall:

My car is littered with door dings on the drivers side from when my kids blast out of my wife's car. It's like they take out all the pent up aggression from not being able to do it in a parking lot to do it on MY car. Probably because I was a parking lot non-door ding maniac when they were little. It's all coming out now.

I'm now regretting not allowing them to drink those juice boxes by the hundreds when they were little. One of these nights they are gonna kill me with one of those pointed straws and bury me in a juice box. 

 
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tommyboy said:
6 years ago I did this on accident. I had just bought a new truck and was still getting used to it. I opened the door and it just went farther than I was used to and hit the truck next to mine. The guy saw me and I gave him a sheepish look and said I'm sorry. Then I went and did my shopping and when I came back out he was gone but had left me a nice present. He had keyed the entire driver side of my truck, deep enough that touch up paint didn't fix it. 
Click to expand...
This is what I call a life lesson.  You should have offered to pay for any damage that you caused.  Keying your entire car was obviously an overreaction but you did deserves something for being an jerk.  Chalk it up as a lesson to be learned from. 

 
Nigel said:
The light of dawn did reveal a small paint chip/divot. First blemish on the car as far as I know, I've only had it for 6 weeks. I think the newness of the car contributed to me flying off the handle. It's hardly noticeable but indicative of her having given it a pretty solid whack.

In summary she deserved to be called out on it but my delivery was awful, and the speed with which I went from zero to 100 on the rage scale is troubling. Something to work on.
Click to expand...
'called out on it'?

Do you mean bringing it to her attention?  She might not have noticed.  If you had started the conversation on a good note you both could have taken a moment, opened the flashlight app and take a closer look.  Then you can grab her number/address and send her a bill.  

It should only be $75 though - these are a dime a dozen at auto body places

 
people are morons, concerned only about themselves and certainly can care less about your car.  i know this, so i park away from trouble and always in a corner or cap spot, as close to the curb as possible.  if it means i walk a minute, better than screaming at some dimwit dragging some rat kids around.

 
sbonomo said:
This is what I call a life lesson.  You should have offered to pay for any damage that you caused.  Keying your entire car was obviously an overreaction but you did deserves something for being an jerk.  Chalk it up as a lesson to be learned from. 
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There was no damage. I had a white suburban he had a dark blue pickup. Where the door dinged I looked and there was no white, and no indentation.  

He was standing right there and came over to check it out which is when I said sorry. He didn't say anything at all just glared.  I suppose I should have offered to pay for any damage but there was none.

Then he waited for me to go inside the store so he could do $2000 worth of damage to my new vehicle.  It was a totally puzzly move and I hope the guy got run over by a gas truck. #### him and his entire extended family right in the chocolate starfish. Not that I hold onto grudges or anything.

 
tommyboy said:
There was no damage. I had a white suburban he had a dark blue pickup. Where the door dinged I looked and there was no white, and no indentation.  

He was standing right there and came over to check it out which is when I said sorry. He didn't say anything at all just glared.  I suppose I should have offered to pay for any damage but there was none.

Then he waited for me to go inside the store so he could do $2000 worth of damage to my new vehicle.  It was a totally puzzly move and I hope the guy got run over by a gas truck. #### him and his entire extended family right in the chocolate starfish. Not that I hold onto grudges or anything.
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This is a bit different than your original explanation.  I guess you should have asked him if he noticed any damage but you are much less richardish based on this explanation. 

 
Angry Beavers said:
so she did in fact ding your car............

seems justified to me :shrug:
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I agree with a lot of this point of view--but not all of it.  The Op may have gone a little too ballistic--but I also feel like he's being too apologetic now.   If you have kids that you cannot fully trust or control in regards to opening doors--then park in the back where there are two open spots in a row where your kids can't damage other peoples property.   My guess is that if you weren't in the car and that kid slammed the door into your car and actually caused damage--there is virtually a zero percent chance that the parent would have left a note or anything on your car.  They would have went away like vandalizing ninjas.  The Op needs to stop acting like the vandals were the victims in this exchange.  They were careless and damaged somebody elses property--and they got yelled at.  That's not completely abnormal or out of line.  

 
jvdesigns2002 said:
I agree with a lot of this point of view--but not all of it.  The Op may have gone a little too ballistic--but I also feel like he's being too apologetic now.   If you have kids that you cannot fully trust or control in regards to opening doors--then park in the back where there are two open spots in a row where your kids can't damage other peoples property.   My guess is that if you weren't in the car and that kid slammed the door into your car and actually caused damage--there is virtually a zero percent chance that the parent would have left a note or anything on your car.  They would have went away like vandalizing ninjas.  The Op needs to stop acting like the vandals were the victims in this exchange.  They were careless and damaged somebody elses property--and they got yelled at.  That's not completely abnormal or out of line.  
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Broski... takes two to tango. Let’s just say I parked in a spot where there is no one on either side. When you come back to your car how can you guarantee no one parks next to you. 

As noted by OP she was leaving, not arriving. He parked next to her.  Close enough where a mistake was made and her car door hit his car.  

 
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