Funny moments with food (1 Viewer)

[Leviathan]

I'll start.

My dad always talks to my brother and me about the time he served in the U.S. Navy. There was this one time, etc., etc. He still does it to this day.

Several years ago he was ranting about something that happened to him while he was on shore leave in Japan. He decides that it would be a good idea to go out for Japanese food. He loads us in his station wagon and we head out to a sushi bar called Sakura's.

We walk in and he immediately says, "Konishiwa" to the owner. The owner fires off a dozen words in Japanese and my dad stands there in silence as he doesn't have a clue of what he just said.

So, short story long, our food arrives at the table. We're all ooing and aahing at the strange looking food.

My father busts out his chopsticks and immediately puts the large ball of green paste into his mouth. That, of course, was wasabi.

As he is chewing, he suddenly stops and lurches forward for his ice water. My brother and I are looking at each other as our father is turning every shade of purple. He is literally on the ground gasping for breath. The owner is moments away from dialing 911 when my dad finally comes up for air.

By this point my brother and I are laughing hysterically. Good times.

Maybe you had to be there...

Who's next?

 

[jon_mx]

When I was about 5 I dug into a small bowl of horseradish like it was a bowl of pudding.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

One time there was this girl and a cucumber.

 

[jon_mx]

One time there was this girl and a cucumber.

Wrong thread! That goes in the "Fun Moments with Food" thread.

 

[larch]

Maybe you had to be there...

This would not have helped.

 

[Cunk]

One time I made myself a nice glass of coffee milk. Took one sip and spit it right back out into the sink. Tasted horrific. Poured the rest of the milk into the sink too thinking it was bad. Went to close the cupboard and saw the label on what I thought was coffee syrup....it was teriyaki sauce.

 

[Osaurus]

When I was about 5 my sister wanted to push me around the grocery store in the cart standing up as fast as possible. So we are hitting every isle and things are going pretty good until we hit the condiment aisle. She loses control and buries me in a whole lot of salad dressing (glass bottles back in the day). I happened to be wearing some very ugly plaid pants (although now they would be cool I guess) and was covered in bleu cheese dressing. To this day I will not wear plaid pants (that was a given) nor eat bleu cheese dressing. Naturally my sister ridicules me every chance she gets. Women drivers.

 

[Annyong]

Bleau cheese is pretty great though

 

[Guest]

We were sitting around eating birthday cake and ice cream when the party clown killed my dad. So I guess that's kind of a funny food related story.

 

[17seconds]

I have lunch carriers but sometimes I just use a plastic grocery bag. I also use a plastic grocery bag for scooped kitty litter.

One morning I had both bags in my hands on the way out to the car. I threw my lunch in the garbage and found out later when I got to work that my lunch was cat piss and ####.

 

[Leviathan]

When I was about 5 my sister wanted to push me around the grocery store in the cart standing up as fast as possible. So we are hitting every isle and things are going pretty good until we hit the condiment aisle. She loses control and buries me in a whole lot of salad dressing (glass bottles back in the day). I happened to be wearing some very ugly plaid pants (although now they would be cool I guess) and was covered in bleu cheese dressing. To this day I will not wear plaid pants (that was a given) nor eat bleu cheese dressing. Naturally my sister ridicules me every chance she gets. Women drivers.

Ironic, considering your avatar. Bob's Big Boy Burgers makes an exceptional blue cheese dressing.

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

Okayyyyy. there's this - as a young whippersnapper I thought it was pretty damned hilarious and delicious to eat crawfish and shrimp whole.

 

[shadyridr]

When I was about 13 yrs old my mom had to goto work and told me she had roast beef and gravy in the fridge and to make myself a hot open roast beef sandwich for lunch. So lunchtime comes and Im all ready to make this delicious sandwich. Get out the roast beef and I find the cup filled with gravy and pour it all over my sandwich. Heat it up in the microwave and eat the whole thing. Funny thing was it didnt really taste that great. Not horrible but now what I expected. Oh well I finished my lunch and thought nothing of it. That night my mom comes home and asks me if I made my sandwich and I said yeah it was fine. Then she goes into the fridge to make her own and she asks me of I had gravy on my sandwich and said I did. She then proceeds to ask me how thats possible because the container of gravy is still full and untouched. Took us about five minutes to figure out I poured coffee all over my roast beef sandwich and I didnt even realize it.

 

[Osaurus]

When I was about 5 my sister wanted to push me around the grocery store in the cart standing up as fast as possible. So we are hitting every isle and things are going pretty good until we hit the condiment aisle. She loses control and buries me in a whole lot of salad dressing (glass bottles back in the day). I happened to be wearing some very ugly plaid pants (although now they would be cool I guess) and was covered in bleu cheese dressing. To this day I will not wear plaid pants (that was a given) nor eat bleu cheese dressing. Naturally my sister ridicules me every chance she gets. Women drivers.

Ironic, considering your avatar. Bob's Big Boy Burgers makes an exceptional blue cheese dressing.

If you say so.

 

[nirad3]

Well there was that time where I told my sister they made Swiss cheese from toejam and got her to taste it.

 

[Leviathan]

Well there was that time where I told my sister they made Swiss cheese from toejam and got her to taste it.

Brilliant! Funniest one (for me) so far. Plus it has that slightly evil thing going for it.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

When I was about 13 yrs old my mom had to goto work and told me she had roast beef and gravy in the fridge and to make myself a hot open roast beef sandwich for lunch. So lunchtime comes and Im all ready to make this delicious sandwich. Get out the roast beef and I find the cup filled with gravy and pour it all over my sandwich. Heat it up in the microwave and eat the whole thing. Funny thing was it didnt really taste that great. Not horrible but now what I expected. Oh well I finished my lunch and thought nothing of it. That night my mom comes home and asks me if I made my sandwich and I said yeah it was fine. Then she goes into the fridge to make her own and she asks me of I had gravy on my sandwich and said I did. She then proceeds to ask me how thats possible because the container of gravy is still full and untouched. Took us about five minutes to figure out I poured coffee all over my roast beef sandwich and I didnt even realize it.

Who keeps a cup of coffee in the fridge?

 

[GoFishTN]

fun·ny
ˈfənē/Submit
adjective
1.
causing laughter or amusement; humorous.
"a funny story"

Just in case any of you are confused.

 

[AAABatteries]

I have lunch carriers but sometimes I just use a plastic grocery bag. I also use a plastic grocery bag for scooped kitty litter.

One morning I had both bags in my hands on the way out to the car. I threw my lunch in the garbage and found out later when I got to work that my lunch was cat piss and ####.

 

[Mister CIA]

Submarine lurking somewhere in the North Atlantic, circa 1990.

(1) The enlisted mess deck can only seat 24 at a time, so it's quite common to wait in line until a seat is available. While standing at the front of the line one day with a buddy of mine, we got a shout out for two more to come eat. In hindsight we learned there was only one open seat. Long story short, my buddy is standing there with a tray full of food looking exactly like a guy who just lost a round of musical chairs. Rather than go back to the front of the line and wait for an opening, he sits down on the floor just outside the galley door.

Enter Bigelow, a dead ringer for Alfred E. Neuman, only with bigger ears and more freckles; and fewer synapses. He did not not see my buddy sitting on the floor as he walked out of the galley because he vision was blocked by the 3x2 frosted sheetcake we was carrying. He trips and lands face-first in the frosting. All 25 of us burst out into laughter while Bigelow goes full-rant and cusses every last one of us while standing there looking like a reverse Al Jolson.

(2) One of the cooks was nicknamed Stosh, who was very quiet and shy kind of person, and was primarily responsible for serving officers in the ward room.

"Hey Stosh, you ever spit in anybody's soup?"

"Only the XO's." ... the XO, executive officer, is usally the designated ####### of the boat. In our case, he was all that and more. Had some very strong Frank Burns traits.

(3) Stuffed peppers were on the menu. While the cooks were cooking, the rest of the boat was conducting drills, and on this particular day a loss of power for about 45 minutes was part of the drill. The cooks did not account for the 45 minutes. WTF x 24.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

fun·ny

ˈfənē/Submit

adjective

1.

causing laughter or amusement; humorous.

"a funny story"

Just in case any of you are confused.

Submarine lurking somewhere in the North Atlantic, circa 1990.

(1) The enlisted mess deck can only seat 24 at a time, so it's quite common to wait in line until a seat is available. While standing at the front of the line one day with a buddy of mine, we got a shout out for two more to come eat. In hindsight we learned there was only one open seat. Long story short, my buddy is standing there with a tray full of food looking exactly like a guy who just lost a round of musical chairs. Rather than go back to the front of the line and wait for an opening, he sits down on the floor just outside the galley door.

Enter Bigelow, a dead ringer for Alfred E. Neuman, only with bigger ears and more freckles; and fewer synapses. He did not not see my buddy sitting on the floor as he walked out of the galley because he vision was blocked by the 3x2 frosted sheetcake we was carrying. He trips and lands face-first in the frosting. All 25 of us burst out into laughter while Bigelow goes full-rant and cusses every last one of us while standing there looking like a reverse Al Jolson.

(2) One of the cooks was nicknamed Stosh, who was very quiet and shy kind of person, and was primarily responsible for serving officers in the ward room.

"Hey Stosh, you ever spit in anybody's soup?"

"Only the XO's." ... the XO, executive officer, is usally the designated ####### of the boat. In our case, he was all that and more. Had some very strong Frank Burns traits.

(3) Stuffed peppers were on the menu. While the cooks were cooking, the rest of the boat was conducting drills, and on this particular day a loss of power for about 45 minutes was part of the drill. The cooks did not account for the 45 minutes. WTF x 24.

 

[shadyridr]

When I was about 13 yrs old my mom had to goto work and told me she had roast beef and gravy in the fridge and to make myself a hot open roast beef sandwich for lunch. So lunchtime comes and Im all ready to make this delicious sandwich. Get out the roast beef and I find the cup filled with gravy and pour it all over my sandwich. Heat it up in the microwave and eat the whole thing. Funny thing was it didnt really taste that great. Not horrible but now what I expected. Oh well I finished my lunch and thought nothing of it. That night my mom comes home and asks me if I made my sandwich and I said yeah it was fine. Then she goes into the fridge to make her own and she asks me of I had gravy on my sandwich and said I did. She then proceeds to ask me how thats possible because the container of gravy is still full and untouched. Took us about five minutes to figure out I poured coffee all over my roast beef sandwich and I didnt even realize it.

Who keeps a cup of coffee in the fridge?

think it was my dads

 

[Leviathan]

One of the cooks was nicknamed Stosh, who was very quiet and shy kind of person, and was primarily responsible for serving officers in the ward room.

"Hey Stosh, you ever spit in anybody's soup?"

"Only the XO's."

Nice!

 

[scifijon]

I ate your chocolate squirrel

 

[Mister CIA]

One of the cooks was nicknamed Stosh, who was very quiet and shy kind of person, and was primarily responsible for serving officers in the ward room.

"Hey Stosh, you ever spit in anybody's soup?"

"Only the XO's."

Nice!

The funniest part, which I did not convey, was the matter of fact way he said it without missing a beat.

 

[Annyong]

My brothers bet me I couldn't eat a whole thing of helmet nachos in 1/2 an inning at US Cellular. I had to wear helmet nachos on my head.

 

[Annyong]

They wouldn't let me into a bar outside Wrigley cuz the bouncer saw me trying to hump a parking meter

 

[Leviathan]

Hopefully this one goes better than my wasabi story.

A dear friend of mine makes it a point to crash out at my house whenever he passes through town.

My wife mentioned that we had yet to feed our cats on that particular day. My friend jokingly chastised us for not taking care of our pets.

Keep in mind that we were consuming copious amounts of alcohol.

My wife filled a bowl up with Whiskas cat food. She walked up behind him and offered him a snack.

Thinking it was a bowl of pistachios or something, he grabbed a handful and began to munch away,

We're looking at him like he just landed from Mars.

Hilarity ensued.

 

[nirad3]

I ate your chocolate starfish