Landlord of 20 years raising rent 50%, gave us 2 months notice. (2 Viewers)

[massraider]

Staten Island rents seem reasonable by my local Miami standards. How's the neighborhood?

Yeah, but he wants to stay in New York City.

I think Staten Island is next to Buffalo.

 

[Zow]

From a purely financial standpoint, it actually probably won't pay off. How many hours will she spend on this when it's all said and done, and what does that work out to be per hour? Seems very likely that you'd be much better off with her actually earning income vs. hypothetical savings (which can still be realized with far fewer hours).

Like everyone else I feel for you, but a red flag for me is how you said the topic of her working hasn't even been discussed yet. I'm not quite sure how that's even possible tbh. She can still kick *** while working, and IMO she would be kicking even more *** if she were. Even if it's part time, or consulting (like you said she's done), that should be enough to bridge the gap.

If she consults a family law attorney, as of today, her best outcome as an individual would be to file for divorce right now. That's what she will be told. She will also be told not to work nor seek employment.

If he consults a family law attorney, as of today, his best outcome as the head of household would be to move to a much lower cost of living area and set roots before a potential divorce. That's what he will be told.

Since reading this, I considered just letting this go. I say this because it may not be inaccurate based on old laws, and for what it's worth it may not be inaccurate as to NY law. I am not a licensed NY attorney and therefore don't know the current NY laws when it comes to such things as custodial issues (parenting time, legal decision-making, child support), alimony (spousal maintenance), and division of property and debt - though I suspect GG isn't, either. I also tend to agree with some of the comments in GG's posts, and I do very much commend him for what appears to be a genuine offer to help in this scenario. Finally, I'm well aware of GG's negative opinions regarding lawyers, as he hammers home that nail home very chance he gets.

So, my response here is not intended to rally against GG or say that there is never a time where from a pure legal standpoint divorce isn't advisable (my general practice is to stay far away from life and/or relationship advice, but instead provide an idea of what a divorce may look like and let the client/potential client reach his or her own conclusions). Additionally, where I think he has some semblance of a point in his comments is the notion that marriage is viewed socially as an emotional/religious/romantic idea yet, legally, it is anything but and divorce usually turns into a heartless accounting exercise. Accordingly, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt by concluding that he is not telling the OP to get divorced but, instead, is trying to demonstrate that the individual's motivations involved may differ.

The above said, as an actual family law attorney, and applying the laws of my jurisdiction (which, again, could be far different from NY), and should either the OP or his wife look for said advice (which our beloved OP hasn't even hinted at), I note that the advice GG claims a family law attorney would give is not the advice I would give - especially to the wife. I say this earnestly, as a cold, heartless, unemotional attorney who doesn't care about the idea of a family unit.*

However, I do think there is a takeaway from the emotionally draining and oftentimes financially draining process that is family law. And that takeaway (credit to GG here as he talks about it in his static v. dynamic comment) is that life oftentimes throws us unintended, challenging curveballs and that no situation is ever guaranteed to remain. I very often see in the divorce process mindsets such as: "why should I have to give up my home?;" "why do I have to split my retirement when my spouse never worked?;" "why do I have to only see my kids 1/2 the time when I've been their primary parent?;" and, most poignantly here, "why should I have to go back to work and change my lifestyle when he or she is the one who [insert whatever action is the blame for the divorce]??" Frankly, I get it. Most people worked very hard to get where they are (or at least believe that they have). Oftentimes the current situation isn't their intentional fault. Heck, in a perfect world one spouse/part would stay at home with the kids. But, to quote a local family law judge when he issues his ruling regarding spousal maintenance (alimony) and/or a division of assets, "there are no guarantees in life, and divorce is a life-changing event."

Here, while I don't view this as a life-changing event, I do think that judge's comments and, frankly, GG's comments re: a person's willingness to be dynamic versus static, can be really be instructive here. In other words, it's okay to conclude that something isn't fault or ideal and it's okay to be emotional about it. However, the thought that something can prevented without change is where people truly get into trouble and, until a person embraces such change and is open to doing things differently, the undesired result is highly likely to occur.

Tl;dr: No, a family law attorney will not for sure give this advice and it is disheartening to see divorce brought up in this situation as the OP doesn't even appear to have that on his mind, but there is serious merit to the idea a person must be open to doing things differently than they have been when uncontrollable negative life events occur.

*I say this with some sarcasm.

 

[humpback]

I get that but they are all old enough now that she no longer needs to be that.

Fwiw, the legwork she's doing now (kid is a HS sophomore) looking at colleges, tuitions and aid... I already know will pay off when the time comes.

I get that it's easy to judge that she's not working, but This woman genuinely kicks *** at everything she does. Of course I would love for her to add some income while she's doing that other work- I'm sure once she went back in shed tear it up like she's does everything else she does.

Its a bit arrogant. She does sound like a bit of a helicopter mom. Why is she doing tons of legwork for your children's college? I guess that doesnt make sense. Theres plenty of dual parent working homes where the parents put in tons of legwork for their kids too.

Yeah, I just feel like the more I read about Flopp's life the less I understand. It's like a completely different reality than the one I live in. But I've never even been to NYC so what do I know?

I do have two kids in college, one of them got a full ride. I had next to nothing to do with that, neither did his mom or step mom. But again, we're just simple folks living in Oregon, going to the state U. There was never any talk of an Ivy or Stanford. And I've never lost a second's sleep because of it.

Top tier schools are incredibly competitive. I hired an admissions consultant for Roverkid. Sounds like Mrs. Floppo is filling that role. I wouldn't expect a teenager, even a very talented one, to be able to navigate admissions and aid relating to these types of schools.

So do lots of people, but those admission consultants aren't working full time for any one client. Mrs. Floppo can still fill that role for their kid in addition to working part or even full time, it doesn't have to be either/or.

The one I used takes on 6 clients a year. Mrs. Floppo's got 2 kids and is also dealing with their school and extracurricular schedules. I'd hardly characterize that as a helicopter mom as jobarules did. That doesn't have anything to do with whether it would benefit the household to take on a full or part time job. This is a pretty critical time for teenagers bound for upper-tier schools. It's hard for an outsider to judge how to balance the value of what she's contributing versus the benefit of more money, especially for those talking about a low wage part time gig versus a career-type position.

This stuff is stressful, and I don't envy our friend El Floppo one bit. I just took a fairly large financial hit while paying my kid's tuition and housing in NYC. That was bad enough, without having to worry about relocating or trying not to strain a marriage.

Okay, so that confirms that one client isn't a full time job. And please, don't lump me in with him, I didn't say anything about her being a helicopter mom.

Believe me, I understand everything that you're saying, but there are diminishing returns on this stuff. More importantly, it isn't critical that your kids end up at upper-tier schools. Really it sounds more like they're targeting upper-upper-tier, and even with zero help from Mrs. Floppo (which wouldn't be the case) they would very likely end up in upper-tier schools (maybe even in those same upper-upper-tier ones). Most importantly, from the sounds of it, their kids will be just fine no matter where they end up. A heck of a lot better off than if their dad loses his mind from the stress from all of this, or they have to find a new place to live with a ridiculous commute and/or move in with strangers lol.

 

[Nick Vermeil]

When you ask someone to marry you, and you give them a ring, and they say "Yes", they are agreeing to be a "team player"

For life.

Isn't this Zales' new campain slogan?

 

[massraider]

Hey, bad news fellas, my rent just skyrocketed


Lemme explain what's wrong with your marriage

 

[Capella]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

 

[-fish-]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

It really does have a little bit of everything, except for bowling and camping.

 

[-fish-]

If we could get a Studs and Duds post in here it would be an instant classic.

 

[General Malaise]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

You left out not paying the rent at all, forcing an eviction, and sleeping with the Frenchman's wife (probably).

 

[jobarules]

Staten Island rents seem reasonable by my local Miami standards. How's the neighborhood?

Yeah, but he wants to stay in New York City.

I think Staten Island is next to Buffalo.

The commute isnt the best but if the wife doesnt wanna work then what other options does he have other than moving out of NYC and commuting? My wife commutes into NYC 3 days a week for work.

 

[Zow]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

It really does have a little bit of everything, except for bowling and camping.

So this scenario reminds me of this one time with my ex-girlfriend...


(Just completing the circle)

 

[Long Ball Larry]

what did I miss?

floppo might be homeless, but at least his marriage is fixed

 

[Desert_Power]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

We could use Otis to join and complain about the mansions he wants to buy in cheaper states.

 

[General Malaise]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

 

[General Malaise]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

We could use Otis to join and complain about the mansions he wants to buy in cheaper states.

"Anybody else spend $45,999 to cut down a row of arborvitae? What's the going rate in your gated community?"

 

[Zow]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

 

[General Malaise]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Yeah, but your kids are still little, right? And I think the only person with more kids than you is the person typing, no?

 

[jobarules]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Are your kids teenagers?

I barely do anything for my teenage son now. I help him with HW when he needs it. Drive him to baseball practice. And cook him dinner. Other than that I barely see him.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

You left out not paying the rent at all, forcing an eviction, and sleeping with the Frenchman's wife (probably).

and slinging some rock on the corner

 

[top dog]

I saw this thread the other day and thought, "I'll catch up on this one later." Holy Moses... Best of luck @El Floppo . Sorry this is happening to you.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

@Otis may as well

 

[bigbottom]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Has to be posted.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

You left out not paying the rent at all, forcing an eviction, and sleeping with the Frenchman's wife (probably).

Sleeping with the Frenchman's Wife is the name of an IEG movie starring me and Salma Hayek

 

[Bob Sacamano]

glllll Floppo. It'll all work out, but I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

 

[ignatiusjreilly]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

I'm still waiting to find out what New York's hottest club is

 

[DocHolliday]

If we are spitballing here, maybe AZ Ron can loan his wife a few racks.

 

[General Malaise]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Are your kids teenagers?

I barely do anything for my teenage son now. I help him with HW when he needs it. Drive him to baseball practice. And cook him dinner. Other than that I barely see him.

I had to help my daughter with some long division yesterday. I got one of the problems wrong. She's in 5th grade. Fifth. Grade.

 

[General Malaise]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Has to be posted.

 

[Zow]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Yeah, but your kids are still little, right? And I think the only person with more kids than you is the person typing, no?

My kids are 5, 7, 7, 8 (currently).

 

[General Malaise]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Yeah, but your kids are still little, right? And I think the only person with more kids than you is the person typing, no?

My kids are 5, 7, 7, 8 (currently).

I see why you work 65 hours.....Jesus, I'd go take a job at an offshore oil rig.

 

[TLEF316]

If we could get a Studs and Duds post in here it would be an instant classic.

:blowsout:

 

[Zow]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Has to be posted.

Oof I will not be showing this to my wife

 

[Zow]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Yeah, but your kids are still little, right? And I think the only person with more kids than you is the person typing, no?

My kids are 5, 7, 7, 8 (currently).

I see why you work 65 hours.....Jesus, I'd go take a job at an offshore oil rig.

We were snowed in for 3 days last week. That 4th day I was soooo happy to go to the office...

 

[Keerock]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Yeah, but your kids are still little, right? And I think the only person with more kids than you is the person typing, no?

My kids are 5, 7, 7, 8 (currently).

I see why you work 65 hours.....Jesus, I'd go take a job at an offshore oil rig.

We were snowed in for 3 days last week. That 4th day I was soooo happy to go to the office...

What are you, like, from Michigan or something?

 

[ignatiusjreilly]

Just discovered this thread. I'm so sorry this is happening to you, GB. It sounds like you have a bunch of less-than-perfect options. I hope you're able to figure out the least-bad one.

Back in 2015 we were living in Brooklyn and our landlord raised our rent by 10% one year, which was a pretty big hardship on us. Then we moved to Florida and he made some minor improvements and put it on the market for a 25% bump on top of the new amount. So within a few months he effectively raised it 50% ($2,700 to $4K). I remember breathing a sigh of relief that we had gotten out when we did.

NYC real estate is just insane, and I'm sure Covid has made it even more insane. Good luck!

 

[dkp993]

Hey, bad news fellas, my rent just skyrocketed


Lemme explain what's wrong with your marriage

So much this. Unreal. Leave the dudes marriage alone.

 

[Zow]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Yeah, but your kids are still little, right? And I think the only person with more kids than you is the person typing, no?

My kids are 5, 7, 7, 8 (currently).

I see why you work 65 hours.....Jesus, I'd go take a job at an offshore oil rig.

We were snowed in for 3 days last week. That 4th day I was soooo happy to go to the office...

What are you, like, from Michigan or something?

Amazingly... Ari - ****ing - zona.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

What is this snow of which you speak?

 

[-fish-]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

We could use Otis to join and complain about the mansions he wants to buy in cheaper states.

"Anybody else spend $45,999 to cut down a row of arborvitae? What's the going rate in your gated community?"

I offered to buy my neighbor's house so I could cut down two firs and a cedar, then I was going to re-sell it. They didn't bite.

Is this the new GM's thread about nothing?

 

[AAABatteries]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Has to be posted.

Afraid to laugh

 

[Schmeabs]

Put it all on black

 

[bigbottom]

NYC real estate is just insane, and I'm sure Covid has made it even more insane. Good luck!

So what is going on there? I would have thought a bunch of people moved out during the pandemic when they were working remotely and chosen to never move back. I guess that is not the case?

 

[dkp993]

what did I miss?

I'm guessing a GG flame-out.

The real scary thing, based on some of GG’s other posts in the past on women the views expressed here have been tame.

 

[GordonGekko]

What's gonna hurt her pride more? Taking a job that's "beneath" her or living in Hoboken or Queens?

I kid, mostly. Lots of great advice in here, GBEF, and I know you guys will be OK, but this whole "not working" thing for her unreasonably irritates me.

In a bad financial situation, all it takes is one major medical emergency or a car accident or some issue with immediate family that could spiral an existing bad situation into a downright terrible one.

A lot of the remaining regular posters here aren't likely living check to check, but even those with emergency reserves, those won't last forever. Maybe some of you could hold out for a year or so, maybe more, but things can turn very quickly.

Something I said to @Otis in his complaining and fitness thread is if he doesn't take care of himself, then if he dies sooner than later, then who is going to take care of his daughters? Who is going to make sure his kids are fed?

If something happens to Floppo, who is taking care of his kids financially? The purpose of a dual income situation is also a hedge. It's a safety valve should one parent pass away.

The idea of people "will be OK" is not based on objective reality. It's a sentiment. I understand why the sentiment exists, mostly it's a type of deflection. If Floppo dies, are you going to feed his kids? That's not a purity test, it's just defining how sentiment actually works.

You have to go out and be dynamic and make your situation to be "OK" for yourself and your loved ones.

Hard times are coming here. For everyone. There are people in the FFA, not all, but it appears more and more, who come off like total snobs. They don't understand how easily and quickly things can fall apart. The center does not hold.


"There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread." - Mahatma Gandhi

 

[-fish-]

NYC real estate is just insane, and I'm sure Covid has made it even more insane. Good luck!

So what is going on there? I would have thought a bunch of people moved out during the pandemic when they were working remotely and chosen to never move back. I guess that is not the case?

Prices actually rose during the height of the pandemic. They have fallen slightly since July 2022, but that's a small decrease from an all-time high. Inventory is also low right now because sellers are hoping that interest rates drop so they can maximize their sales price. Average rent rose by about 20% in 2022.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Yeah, but your kids are still little, right? And I think the only person with more kids than you is the person typing, no?

My kids are 5, 7, 7, 8 (currently).

I see why you work 65 hours.....Jesus, I'd go take a job at an offshore oil rig.

maybe la floppa can do this. isn't it a couple months on/couple off? sounds promising

 

[bigbottom]

What does the wife do all day at home? I know there's some work trying to get a HS sophomore into Harvard and an 11 year old into the Ford Modeling agency, but that can't be a full time occupation at home, can it?

I would go out of my ever loving mind if I stayed at home all day every day. I kindly told my boss to STFU when he offered me a WFH option during Covid. I get that everybody is different, but I'd go insane being housebound.

The corollary to that is if she's not sitting at home all day every day while the kids are in school and Flop is designing million dollar foyers, what DOES she do? If she's not earning, is she spending? Gym membership? Tanning? Coffee? Just asking, not accusing. Again, I would go crazy being home all day but I suffer from acute cabin fever. I'd have to do something and usually that something involves spending at least a little money (disc golf is free, but gas to get there ain't).

I have so many questions about this.

I easily work >65 hours on a regular week. These hours are filled with stressful, very adult things that require lengthy focus. I'm incredibly drained at the end of each day.

My wife, a stay at home mom, works way harder and more hours than I do.

Yeah, but your kids are still little, right? And I think the only person with more kids than you is the person typing, no?

My kids are 5, 7, 7, 8 (currently).

Jesus. Two ounces goes a long way.

 

[GordonGekko]

This thread has had it all, except actual good advice. Florida, Michigan, the Olive Garden, only fans, people suggesting he leave his wife, tax fraud, people suggesting he leave his wife while committing tax fraud — truly a throw back to the good days.

"Only a stomach that rarely feels hungry scorns common things." - Horace


There are three practical things that this community can do to help Floppo. I've discussed the first two before.

1) Try to help Floppo's wife find an entry level job, if they have contacts in that area

2) Try to help Floppo expand his career network in architecture in cities neighboring NY, in case he has to move, if it comes to that. If people have contacts that way.

And the third

3) Try to help Floppo find practical local housing, if they have contacts in that area and in that realm of expertise.

"Good Advice"?

How about you offer some.

Feel free to let everyone here know when you've made some calls and sent some emails from one of the three things listed above. You spoke up, now you've obligated yourself to step up.

You want to criticize everyone else but not offer solutions nor practical strategies. What exactly is the value in that? There is no value in that.

 

[-fish-]

some stellar notebooking in here.

 

[dgreen]

I haven't read the whole thread, so maybe this has been covered. But, while we didn't really face a sudden Floppo-level financial obstacle, I went through similar things with my wife and work. Just before our first child was born, she quit her job to stay home. She didn't like her job and we preferred she be home anyway. Fast forward probably about 15 years and we had three kids and she's still at home. She started doing some low-hour/low-pay work just to do something and bring in a little extra. They were mostly things that worked well with the kids' school schedules and some, but not all, were things she enjoyed. But, the pay was so low that I still referred to us as a single-income family. It was nice to have that little extra, but it didn't drastically change anything. Well, over the last couple years, my wife started talking more and more about how she knew it would be financially helpful for her to get a "real job". But, obviously, she didn't really want to. She didn't want to do something she doesn't enjoy. We didn't absolutely need her to work, but we both knew it would be helpful to accomplish the things we wanted to do financially. So, she started looking a bit. It wasn't easy. It's really hard for a middle-aged woman who hasn't worked in many years to get a "real job". That resume just doesn't stand out. Eventually, we found a job posted on Indeed that happened to be with someone she worked with before kids. She got the interview and was hired. The hiring manager even told her that there were others with better resumes, but was giving my wife a shot because of their familiarity with each other. She's an executive assistant. She doesn't love it, but it pays well and at least she doesn't hate it. She's not really proud of her position, but she realizes it's financially helping. Anyway, all that to say I get it. It's hard as a husband to want your wife to work while also knowing she doesn't want to. And it's even harder for her to get back into the workforce after sitting it out for so long. Going through that job search wasn't exactly a confidence booster...until someone actually did show interest.