Names in Marriage (1 Viewer)

[Jayrok]

Mr. Jones has a son. His only son. The son married a young lady 8 months ago. Her last name is Stinson. After tinkering with the idea of hyphenating her name to Stinson-Jones, she ultimately decided that she didn't want to hyphenate or take Jones as her last name. So almost a year in they are M. Jones and C. Stinson.

They do not yet have children.

If you are the son or Mr. Jones, would this bother you at all?

I'd just stare at the beautiful women and tell each other fairy tales.

:whoosh:

 

[FUBAR]

Mr. Jones has a son. His only son. The son married a young lady 8 months ago. Her last name is Stinson. After tinkering with the idea of hyphenating her name to Stinson-Jones, she ultimately decided that she didn't want to hyphenate or take Jones as her last name. So almost a year in they are M. Jones and C. Stinson.

They do not yet have children.

If you are the son or Mr. Jones, would this bother you at all?

I'd just stare at the beautiful women and tell each other fairy tales.

:whoosh:

https://33.media.tumblr.com/1e807c5b3381afa18013bbcc4b5582ba/tumblr_inline_n65z67iw8b1r94h0n.gif

Mr Jones and me

Tell each other fairy tales

And we stare at the beautiful women

She's looking at you

Ah, no, no, she's looking at me

Smilin' in the bright lights

Coming through in stereo

When everybody loves you

You can never be lonely

 

[Guest]

My name is a frequently mis-pronounced German name.

Wiener?

Abelschriemenamphelheimer

Not quite, but it does have an "ie" that is pronounced with a long E sound.

I know what you've gone through.

 

[Jayrok]

Is Mr Jones a farmer?

Retired fire fighter. But he does have a bit of a green thumb.

 

[Jayrod]

Is Mr Jones a farmer?

Retired fire fighter. But he does have a bit of a green thumb.

Oh man, he should get that looked at. I hope he doesn't need it removed. T&P, Mr. Jones.

 

[Jayrok]

Is Mr Jones a farmer?

Retired fire fighter. But he does have a bit of a green thumb.

Oh man, he should get that looked at. I hope he doesn't need it removed. T&P, Mr. Jones.

Perhaps Mrs. Jones should be mentioned in the female celebrity aroma thread.

 

[Guest]

Jayrok and Jayrod having a conversation confuses me.

 

[jhib]

I took my husbands last name and all our kids have our last name. I think it shows a unity. I don't care which name or a new name gets used, but I think we should all have the same.

This is pretty much where I am on this. I would personally be bothered (probably not a lot, but I would be bothered) by not all having the same last name. I am also a bit surprised that so many mothers would rather have the same last name as their parents than as their children.

 

[skol asylum]

My wife kept her name. Kids have mine. It's no biggie.

 

[skol asylum]

My wife's maiden name was Love. My name is a frequently mis-pronounced German name. She always went by [first name] Love, like it was one name. Almost no one just called her by her first name.

When we got married, she was doing her student teaching and really liked being called Ms. Love. We are also very traditional in pretty much everything else we do.

Initially, she hyphenated her name, but after a year of that she went ahead and changed her name to mine. It was kind of a big deal to her, like a symbol of her truly joining her life with mine and becoming more unified as a couple. I think she felt like hyphenating was a form of rebelling against that.

I never really cared at the time, but I think if she had refused to take my name at all I would have likely had a problem with it. It wouldn't have kept me from marrying her, but I probably would have let her know I didn't like it and it would have probably been a point of contention from time to time. I understood why she wanted to hang on to her maiden name and initially hyphenated it and never thought it was a problem, but if she had just refused to take my name at all I would have felt a bit of rejection.

Love-Hitler

Nice.

 

[Clown Car]

I took my husbands last name and all our kids have our last name. I think it shows a unity. I don't care which name or a new name gets used, but I think we should all have the same.

This is pretty much where I am on this. I would personally be bothered (probably not a lot, but I would be bothered) by not all having the same last name. I am also a bit surprised that so many mothers would rather have the same last name as their parents than as their children.

Right. I don't understand that.

 

[Clown Car]

My wife kept her name. Kids have mine. It's no biggie.

It seems like most guys are ok with this. But what if she wanted the kids to have her last name?

 

[skol asylum]

My wife kept her name. Kids have mine. It's no biggie.

It seems like most guys are ok with this. But what if she wanted the kids to have her last name?

IDK. She told me she wanted to keep her name because she felt like that is a part of who she is. I was surprised at first and then realized it didnt really matter. We talked about how we would handle the kids names down the road and both agreed having a hyphenated name would be a pain. She just said they would take my name and that was that.

 

[jhib]

Doesn't bother me at all... My wife never legally changed her name, but she refers to herself as my last name, her email handle is my last name, and our son has my last name.

This would probably bother me a bit, too. If the name is good enough to use in everyday life, why not just make it official and limit the confusion?

Of course, it also bothers me when parents name their child with the intention from the get-go to call him by his middle name. If you're going to use his middle name in everyday life, just name him that and switch the first and middle names.

 

[Clown Car]

Doesn't bother me at all... My wife never legally changed her name, but she refers to herself as my last name, her email handle is my last name, and our son has my last name.

This would probably bother me a bit, too. If the name is good enough to use in everyday life, why not just make it official and limit the confusion?

Of course, it also bothers me when parents name their child with the intention from the get-go to call him by his middle name. If you're going to use his middle name in everyday life, just name him that and switch the first and middle names.

We did the middle name thing with our boys. It is stupid but we had our reasons at the time. I would change it if I could do it over again.

 

[skol asylum]

Doesn't bother me at all... My wife never legally changed her name, but she refers to herself as my last name, her email handle is my last name, and our son has my last name.

This would probably bother me a bit, too. If the name is good enough to use in everyday life, why not just make it official and limit the confusion?

Of course, it also bothers me when parents name their child with the intention from the get-go to call him by his middle name. If you're going to use his middle name in everyday life, just name him that and switch the first and middle names.

We did the middle name thing with our boys. It is stupid but we had our reasons at the time. I would change it if I could do it over again.

So many kids you exhausted all the possible names?

 

[jhib]

Doesn't bother me at all... My wife never legally changed her name, but she refers to herself as my last name, her email handle is my last name, and our son has my last name.

This would probably bother me a bit, too. If the name is good enough to use in everyday life, why not just make it official and limit the confusion?

Of course, it also bothers me when parents name their child with the intention from the get-go to call him by his middle name. If you're going to use his middle name in everyday life, just name him that and switch the first and middle names.

We did the middle name thing with our boys. It is stupid but we had our reasons at the time. I would change it if I could do it over again.

Yeah, no offense intended to those who have done it, and "bother" is too strong a word for how I feel about it. It just seems like one of those things that sounds like a good/cute idea when you do it and usually ends up seeming silly later on when you really think about it.

Kinda like the cute misspellings of names just to be unique.

 

[FUBAR]

My wife kept her name. Kids have mine. It's no biggie.

It seems like most guys are ok with this. But what if she wanted the kids to have her last name?

Boys get Dad's name, girls get Mom's.

Doesn't bother me at all... My wife never legally changed her name, but she refers to herself as my last name, her email handle is my last name, and our son has my last name.

This would probably bother me a bit, too. If the name is good enough to use in everyday life, why not just make it official and limit the confusion?

Of course, it also bothers me when parents name their child with the intention from the get-go to call him by his middle name. If you're going to use his middle name in everyday life, just name him that and switch the first and middle names.

Only reason I would be in favor of what you're talking about is when generations have followed the tradition. A buddy of mine growing up had his, his father's, his grandfather's and his great-grandfather all with the same first name, different middle name but same initials. It's kind of cool when it's a tradition like that.

Are you against nicknames too?

 

[SacramentoBob]

My wife's aunt and uncle each kept their own last names. They had 3 boys. The first and the third boy took the fathers last name. The middle boy took the mothers last name. The middle boy turned out gay. Not worth the risk.

 

[rockaction]

I'm largely not a feminist (at all) but somehow seeing all the name changes of the girls I once knew as young and carefree kind of makes me sad. Maybe it's just that I don't deal well with watching people age and change.

I will say this: nothing -- not the hyphen, not the keeping of a last name -- is worse than the Hillary Rodham Clinton maiden name to the middle slide, whereupon one has to refer (often in a stentorian manner) to people by three names, most of which are totally unsuited for a middle name. Just hyphenate the damn thing. You're not important enough for three names. I also find that the politics of those girls is generally off-putting.

I voted for yoga pants, of course.

 

[jhib]

My wife kept her name. Kids have mine. It's no biggie.

It seems like most guys are ok with this. But what if she wanted the kids to have her last name?

IDK. She told me she wanted to keep her name because she felt like that is a part of who she is. I was surprised at first and then realized it didnt really matter. We talked about how we would handle the kids names down the road and both agreed having a hyphenated name would be a pain. She just said they would take my name and that was that.

Do your wife's parents both share her last name?

If so, I wonder how the situation might change with your own children. If you have a daughter, might her last name feel like less of "a part of who she is" if it's a nominal link to only her father instead of to both parents?

I wonder if the next generation will actually find it easier to change their names if it's no longer as strongly their "family name."

 

[FUBAR]

I will say this: nothing -- not the hyphen, not the keeping of a last name -- is worse than the Hillary Rodham Clinton maiden name to the middle slide

my wife did this.

whereupon one has to refer (often in a stentorian manner) to people by three names

but not this.

Assuming it's really the latter that you're irritated by, we can agree. But just the slide isn't a big thing.

What annoys me is my wife, and a few others, use their first name and then their former middle name on facebook. It's not even your name! (No, I haven't asked her to change it, but I do make fun of it)

 

[Guest]

My wife kept her name. Kids have mine. It's no biggie.

It seems like most guys are ok with this. But what if she wanted the kids to have her last name?

My BIL's kids (previous marriage) have his ex's last name. His last name is kind of humorous and it saved the kids a lot of teasing. My sister had no problem taking his name.

 

[Clown Car]

I also made my maiden name my middle name. I don't use it though except as a middle name. No one calls me by that. I put it on Facebook though so people who knew me before knew who I was.

We started the middle name boy thing when we had our first son. I had his name picked out forever as it is my dads first name. But then my friend had a baby and named him the same thing. I was pregnant and furious. So we still named him that but gave him a better cooler middle name and called him that. Then with the next son we named him my husbands first name and a better cooler middle name and called him that. But we only put them in that order because it sounded better. Then it became a thing so we did it with the next three sons. It is stupid. I wish we didn't.

We also don't reuse first initials. We are almost out of letters. We are out of boy names that we like. I have a couple more girl names I still like.

 

[Jayrok]

I also made my maiden name my middle name. I don't use it though except as a middle name. No one calls me by that. I put it on Facebook though so people who knew me before knew who I was.

We started the middle name boy thing when we had our first son. I had his name picked out forever as it is my dads first name. But then my friend had a baby and named him the same thing. I was pregnant and furious. So we still named him that but gave him a better cooler middle name and called him that. Then with the next son we named him my husbands first name and a better cooler middle name and called him that. But we only put them in that order because it sounded better. Then it became a thing so we did it with the next three sons. It is stupid. I wish we didn't.

We also don't reuse first initials. We are almost out of letters. We are out of boy names that we like. I have a couple more girl names I still like.

My daughter did this also. Didn't want to hyphenate but wanted to keep her last name, so she uses it as her middle name.

 

[jhib]

My wife kept her name. Kids have mine. It's no biggie.

It seems like most guys are ok with this. But what if she wanted the kids to have her last name?

Boys get Dad's name, girls get Mom's.

Doesn't bother me at all... My wife never legally changed her name, but she refers to herself as my last name, her email handle is my last name, and our son has my last name.

This would probably bother me a bit, too. If the name is good enough to use in everyday life, why not just make it official and limit the confusion?

Of course, it also bothers me when parents name their child with the intention from the get-go to call him by his middle name. If you're going to use his middle name in everyday life, just name him that and switch the first and middle names.

Only reason I would be in favor of what you're talking about is when generations have followed the tradition. A buddy of mine growing up had his, his father's, his grandfather's and his great-grandfather all with the same first name, different middle name but same initials. It's kind of cool when it's a tradition like that.

Are you against nicknames too?

Yeah, I get the tradition thing, too. Not my thing, and I feel bad for the parents that then feel stuck with the pressure to carry on the tradition, but I get it.

And nicknames are usually different (for me) because they happen organically or are obvious forms of a different name. You know a Timmy is probably really named Timothy, but when you find out Jimmy is really named Francis that causes the .

 

[rockaction]

I will say this: nothing -- not the hyphen, not the keeping of a last name -- is worse than the Hillary Rodham Clinton maiden name to the middle slide

my wife did this.

whereupon one has to refer (often in a stentorian manner) to people by three names

but not this.

Assuming it's really the latter that you're irritated by, we can agree. But just the slide isn't a big thing.

What annoys me is my wife, and a few others, use their first name and then their former middle name on facebook. It's not even your name! (No, I haven't asked her to change it, but I do make fun of it)

My favorite ex-girlfriend and her good friend both did this too, and I really think both are great, so it's not too bad. It's just my least favorite by far, not the least of which is because it was inspired by…well, forget politics. And it generally is the unwieldy nature of it that gets me. Middle names shouldn't be thirteen letters long.

As for using their first and middle name on Facebook, I've noticed a lot of girls do that because they don't want blasts from the past contacting them on social media. It allows the user to create their own environment. That may be why they do it.

 

[hagmania]

Getting married in June (thank you for both congratulations and condolences) - I had a real problem at first that she didn't want to change her name. She pointed out that I don't want to give up my last name. I realized I was very silly and support her in her decision.

She's now more worried about what her family will think than I am about any of this.

 

[Bob Loblaw]

I had a hyphenated last name (maternal-paternal). Before I got married, I decided to drop my dad's last, and did a legal name change to just my mom's. That way my wife wouldn't have to take on a hyphenated last name as her own (she wanted to take my last name). I also decided to drop my dad's last name because he wasn't a dad. He left my mom when I was 6 mos old.

 

[Steve Tasker]

Getting married in June (thank you for both congratulations and condolences) - I had a real problem at first that she didn't want to change her name. She pointed out that I don't want to give up my last name. I realized I was very silly and support her in her decision.

She's now more worried about what her family will think than I am about any of this.

My wife-to-be decided officially to not change her name a little while ago. It bothered me at first but I was over it in about 5 minutes. She has consented to go by Mrs. <Tasker> personally and informally but wants to keep her name legally/professionally. The family name dies with them (she has 3 sisters, and her father was the only boy in his family), so it's important to her. And frankly, her maiden name sounds a lot better than her married name will sound....my name sounds like I'm off-the-boat Italian, and hers sounds off-the-boat Irish.

But there's no way in hell we're hyphenating our hypothetical children's names. Not an option.

 

[chauncey]

I also made my maiden name my middle name. I don't use it though except as a middle name. No one calls me by that. I put it on Facebook though so people who knew me before knew who I was.

We started the middle name boy thing when we had our first son. I had his name picked out forever as it is my dads first name. But then my friend had a baby and named him the same thing. I was pregnant and furious. So we still named him that but gave him a better cooler middle name and called him that. Then with the next son we named him my husbands first name and a better cooler middle name and called him that. But we only put them in that order because it sounded better. Then it became a thing so we did it with the next three sons. It is stupid. I wish we didn't.

We also don't reuse first initials. We are almost out of letters. We are out of boy names that we like. I have a couple more girl names I still like.

I thought moving last name to middle was what everyone did. Maybe that is a southern thing It solves the problem of a woman "losing" her name. I'm cool with women doing whatever they want but there is a certain degree of commitment and respect that comes from changing her last name. If she can't be bothered with that it is like she already has one foot out the door.

 

[chauncey]

I will say this: nothing -- not the hyphen, not the keeping of a last name -- is worse than the Hillary Rodham Clinton maiden name to the middle slide

my wife did this.

whereupon one has to refer (often in a stentorian manner) to people by three names

but not this.

Assuming it's really the latter that you're irritated by, we can agree. But just the slide isn't a big thing.

What annoys me is my wife, and a few others, use their first name and then their former middle name on facebook. It's not even your name! (No, I haven't asked her to change it, but I do make fun of it)

My favorite ex-girlfriend and her good friend both did this too, and I really think both are great, so it's not too bad. It's just my least favorite by far, not the least of which is because it was inspired bywell, forget politics. And it generally is the unwieldy nature of it that gets me. Middle names shouldn't be thirteen letters long.

[bold]As for using their first and middle name on Facebook, I've noticed a lot of girls do that because they don't want blasts from the past contacting them on social media. It allows the user to create their own environment. That may be why they do it.[/bold]

Pretty sure they do this so they [bold]can[/bold] be found. If I wanted to look up an old flame it's going to much easier searching for her first and last name rather than her first name and millions of guesses to what her new last name is.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I have my last name. My wife has her last name. Our kid has my last name. And none of us could give a #### less.

samesies

 

[Sweet J]

My wife kept her name. Kids have mine. It's no biggie.

It seems like most guys are ok with this. But what if she wanted the kids to have her last name?

IDK. She told me she wanted to keep her name because she felt like that is a part of who she is. I was surprised at first and then realized it didnt really matter. We talked about how we would handle the kids names down the road and both agreed having a hyphenated name would be a pain. She just said they would take my name and that was that.

Do your wife's parents both share her last name?

If so, I wonder how the situation might change with your own children. If you have a daughter, might her last name feel like less of "a part of who she is" if it's a nominal link to only her father instead of to both parents?

I wonder if the next generation will actually find it easier to change their names if it's no longer as strongly their "family name."

I think that is a bit of a red herring -- the idea that her name is really only her father's, and taking one man's name (her husband) over another man's name (her father), isn't really a big deal.

Except I don't buy it. Her name is HER name. What she was born with; what she grew up with; what she made a life with. Regardless of how her name "originated," her name is her name. Not her father's or mother's or whatever.

I know you have a daughter about my daughter's age. Think about it for a second how you are going to feel when she meets someone and gets married. It will be her choice, of course, how to deal with the name thing, but won't it give you a *little* source of pride if she chooses to keep her name after she gets married? I know it would for me. Not because she is "keeping my name," but because she is strong enough to insist that she keeps hers.

:hops off soapbox:

 

[matttyl]

Some friends of my wife got married a few years back. Neither wanted to take the other's last name. So they picked a few letters from each of their last names and made up a new last name out of those letters. They didn't tell anyone what that new last name was until after the ceremony, at the reception.

They also got married at 9 AM on Halloween, so it was a bit weird all the way around.

 

[James Daulton]

Don't women have enough liberties already? Sheesh, the least they can do is take our last names.

Next thing you know, we'll be electing one president or something...

 

[jhib]

My wife kept her name. Kids have mine. It's no biggie.

It seems like most guys are ok with this. But what if she wanted the kids to have her last name?

IDK. She told me she wanted to keep her name because she felt like that is a part of who she is. I was surprised at first and then realized it didnt really matter. We talked about how we would handle the kids names down the road and both agreed having a hyphenated name would be a pain. She just said they would take my name and that was that.

Do your wife's parents both share her last name?

If so, I wonder how the situation might change with your own children. If you have a daughter, might her last name feel like less of "a part of who she is" if it's a nominal link to only her father instead of to both parents?

I wonder if the next generation will actually find it easier to change their names if it's no longer as strongly their "family name."

I think that is a bit of a red herring -- the idea that her name is really only her father's, and taking one man's name (her husband) over another man's name (her father), isn't really a big deal.

Except I don't buy it. Her name is HER name. What she was born with; what she grew up with; what she made a life with. Regardless of how her name "originated," her name is her name. Not her father's or mother's or whatever.

I know you have a daughter about my daughter's age. Think about it for a second how you are going to feel when she meets someone and gets married. It will be her choice, of course, how to deal with the name thing, but won't it give you a *little* source of pride if she chooses to keep her name after she gets married? I know it would for me. Not because she is "keeping my name," but because she is strong enough to insist that she keeps hers.

:hops off soapbox:

I didn't mean to imply that the link to the parents is the only or most important reason it's important to her and that makes it a part of her, but that I usually (rightly or wrongly) assume that it's a part of the decision, and that removing part of that link might make it feel less important to keep her name. I obviously could be way off, but I was just thinking out loud and found it interesting to wonder about the next generation like that. Even if I'm right, I'm guessing it will often be more than balanced out by the feeling a daughter has that she should keep her own name because that's what her mother did, and that becomes the new family tradition.

Honestly, when I picture the scenario right now for my own daughter, I would be fine either way, but just more fine with her taking a new name. The two issues I'd have are 1) I would be a little sad if she doesn't share a family name with her own children and 2) knowing my daughter, I'm not sure I could be perfectly confident that she would be doing it for herself and not out of a feeling of responsibility towards us, not to mention her general stubborn resistance to change that sometimes drives me crazy. It takes a certain kind of strength to change your name, too, especially now that it's not quite so automatically the accepted way of doing things.

But to answer your question, yes, part of me would be proud of her for sticking to it if it's for the right reasons and I would be happy that she found someone that would support that decision.

And by the way, she's getting old too fast as it is. It's hard enough thinking about her going off to college in a couple years - stop making me think about her getting married, too!

My own wife agonized about the decision herself. She definitely felt some guilt towards her parents at the thought of dropping the name. She thought about swapping it out for her middle name, but ultimately decided she liked the idea of keeping her middle name and her initials (we had the same last initial). I supported her either way and really would have been fine, but looking back, I'm happy she did switch and thankful to her for doing it, even if it's what she really wanted to do anyway.

 

[the moops]

I really thought my wife and I combining our names to make a new one was going to start a movement here. Guess not

 

[James Daulton]

I'm going to guess that the wives who've kept their last names are also the ones who've decided that blue dots are no longer necessary.

 

[Sweet J]

My wife kept her name. Kids have mine. It's no biggie.

It seems like most guys are ok with this. But what if she wanted the kids to have her last name?

IDK. She told me she wanted to keep her name because she felt like that is a part of who she is. I was surprised at first and then realized it didnt really matter. We talked about how we would handle the kids names down the road and both agreed having a hyphenated name would be a pain. She just said they would take my name and that was that.

Do your wife's parents both share her last name?

If so, I wonder how the situation might change with your own children. If you have a daughter, might her last name feel like less of "a part of who she is" if it's a nominal link to only her father instead of to both parents?

I wonder if the next generation will actually find it easier to change their names if it's no longer as strongly their "family name."

I think that is a bit of a red herring -- the idea that her name is really only her father's, and taking one man's name (her husband) over another man's name (her father), isn't really a big deal.

Except I don't buy it. Her name is HER name. What she was born with; what she grew up with; what she made a life with. Regardless of how her name "originated," her name is her name. Not her father's or mother's or whatever.

I know you have a daughter about my daughter's age. Think about it for a second how you are going to feel when she meets someone and gets married. It will be her choice, of course, how to deal with the name thing, but won't it give you a *little* source of pride if she chooses to keep her name after she gets married? I know it would for me. Not because she is "keeping my name," but because she is strong enough to insist that she keeps hers.

:hops off soapbox:

I didn't mean to imply that the link to the parents is the only or most important reason it's important to her and that makes it a part of her, but that I usually (rightly or wrongly) assume that it's a part of the decision, and that removing part of that link might make it feel less important to keep her name. I obviously could be way off, but I was just thinking out loud and found it interesting to wonder about the next generation like that. Even if I'm right, I'm guessing it will often be more than balanced out by the feeling a daughter has that she should keep her own name because that's what her mother did, and that becomes the new family tradition.

Honestly, when I picture the scenario right now for my own daughter, I would be fine either way, but just more fine with her taking a new name. The two issues I'd have are 1) I would be a little sad if she doesn't share a family name with her own children and 2) knowing my daughter, I'm not sure I could be perfectly confident that she would be doing it for herself and not out of a feeling of responsibility towards us, not to mention her general stubborn resistance to change that sometimes drives me crazy. It takes a certain kind of strength to change your name, too, especially now that it's not quite so automatically the accepted way of doing things.

But to answer your question, yes, part of me would be proud of her for sticking to it if it's for the right reasons and I would be happy that she found someone that would support that decision.

And by the way, she's getting old too fast as it is. It's hard enough thinking about her going off to college in a couple years - stop making me think about her getting married, too!

My own wife agonized about the decision herself. She definitely felt some guilt towards her parents at the thought of dropping the name. She thought about swapping it out for her middle name, but ultimately decided she liked the idea of keeping her middle name and her initials (we had the same last initial). I supported her either way and really would have been fine, but looking back, I'm happy she did switch and thankful to her for doing it, even if it's what she really wanted to do anyway.

Solid post. By the way, we've shared stories about our daughters, so thought I'd give a new one: A few weeks ago on the way to one of her basketball games, I cranked up Ani Difranco's "not a pretty girl." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BWQ3KHk_QE

We rocked out to it a little bit (she particularly liked the line "so put me down, punk"), but I generally forgot about it after. A few days later, we were hanging around the house and she excitedly grabbed her older brother so she could play the song for him (which he promptly ignored, but whatever).

 

[Sweet J]

one other thing: In law school 20 years ago, I used to bust balls of a buddy of mine because his wife didn't take his last name. Four years later and it was time to get married myself to a woman who was divorced, and went through the process of changing her last name to husbands, just to change it back a few years later. She had JUST gotten her "old" name back, and didn't want to change it again. I was surprised how nonchalant I took it.

 

[Fennis]

I'm going to guess that the wives who've kept their last names are also the ones who've decided that blue dots are no longer necessary.

way more couples get divorced when the wife changes her last name.

 

[James Daulton]

I'm going to guess that the wives who've kept their last names are also the ones who've decided that blue dots are no longer necessary.

way more couples get divorced when the wife changes her last name.

That's because way way more women change their last names.

 

[Fennis]

I'm going to guess that the wives who've kept their last names are also the ones who've decided that blue dots are no longer necessary.

way more couples get divorced when the wife changes her last name.

That's because way way more women change their last names.

that's one theory

 

[James Daulton]

I'm going to guess that the wives who've kept their last names are also the ones who've decided that blue dots are no longer necessary.

way more couples get divorced when the wife changes her last name.

That's because way way more women change their last names.

that's one theory

Besides, the chick not changing her name can be super awkward and confusing when it comes to introductions. And ain't nobody got time for that.

 

[rockaction]

I will say this: nothing -- not the hyphen, not the keeping of a last name -- is worse than the Hillary Rodham Clinton maiden name to the middle slide

my wife did this.

whereupon one has to refer (often in a stentorian manner) to people by three names

but not this.

Assuming it's really the latter that you're irritated by, we can agree. But just the slide isn't a big thing.

What annoys me is my wife, and a few others, use their first name and then their former middle name on facebook. It's not even your name! (No, I haven't asked her to change it, but I do make fun of it)

My favorite ex-girlfriend and her good friend both did this too, and I really think both are great, so it's not too bad. It's just my least favorite by far, not the least of which is because it was inspired bywell, forget politics. And it generally is the unwieldy nature of it that gets me. Middle names shouldn't be thirteen letters long.

[bold]As for using their first and middle name on Facebook, I've noticed a lot of girls do that because they don't want blasts from the past contacting them on social media. It allows the user to create their own environment. That may be why they do it.[/bold]

Pretty sure they do this so they [bold]can[/bold] be found. If I wanted to look up an old flame it's going to much easier searching for her first and last name rather than her first name and millions of guesses to what her new last name is.

He said first and middle names, though. I certainly see your point, though. I was just speculating.

 

[Zow]

My wife had a hard to pronounce Polish maiden name and was glad to change to mine. I don't think I would have cared if she didn't though.

We'll never have kids so that's not an issue either.

Ha. My poor wife ditched her cool Irish name to change to my hard to pronounce polish name.

 

[Zow]

I also made my maiden name my middle name. I don't use it though except as a middle name. No one calls me by that. I put it on Facebook though so people who knew me before knew who I was.

We started the middle name boy thing when we had our first son. I had his name picked out forever as it is my dads first name. But then my friend had a baby and named him the same thing. I was pregnant and furious. So we still named him that but gave him a better cooler middle name and called him that. Then with the next son we named him my husbands first name and a better cooler middle name and called him that. But we only put them in that order because it sounded better. Then it became a thing so we did it with the next three sons. It is stupid. I wish we didn't.

We also don't reuse first initials. We are almost out of letters. We are out of boy names that we like. I have a couple more girl names I still like.

Women.

 

[rockaction]

I also made my maiden name my middle name. I don't use it though except as a middle name. No one calls me by that. I put it on Facebook though so people who knew me before knew who I was.

We started the middle name boy thing when we had our first son. I had his name picked out forever as it is my dads first name. But then my friend had a baby and named him the same thing. I was pregnant and furious. So we still named him that but gave him a better cooler middle name and called him that. Then with the next son we named him my husbands first name and a better cooler middle name and called him that. But we only put them in that order because it sounded better. Then it became a thing so we did it with the next three sons. It is stupid. I wish we didn't.

We also don't reuse first initials. We are almost out of letters. We are out of boy names that we like. I have a couple more girl names I still like.

Women.

I always miss the hidden gems in these threads.

 

[glumpy]

Doesn't bother me at all... My wife never legally changed her name, but she refers to herself as my last name, her email handle is my last name, and our son has my last name.

I was wondering what the children's last names will be. Would it bother you if you son had your wife's last name?

Good question and here's a wrinkle: If you marry a Mexican. The tradition there is to name children Given Name-Father;s surname-Mother's surname.

In the US you see First Name-initial-Last Name and in Mexico you see First Name-Last Name-Initial. I can tell you from experience it gets confusing.