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***Official*** FFA iDating Thread (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter Woz
- Start date
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Sure, if you can hold off a couple weeks.
Zow
Footballguy
will do. just keep me posted. i think i can resist putting up profiles and firing out stupid messages to the hottest chicks (effectively wasting my shots) in that time.
Zow
Footballguy
Lock them into a date as fast as possible. If she is 30 and decent looking she is getting a ton of attention. The fact she messaged you back means she is interested. Get a drink in front of her stat.Thought I would bump this since Stu seems to be around.I have a 2nd date Saturday with a nice gal, I am trying to setup a first date with a different girl on Friday, but this is not about them.I have been in contact (online only) with another girl. This girl is 30 making her 11 years younger than me. The age doesn't seem to be a problem for her, but I have found that the younger girls just don't "talk" as much as the older ones. She is not giving me a lot to go on with her messages. Maybe it is the whole text-quick response thing.How do I handle this?She did mention she has plans on Saturday, but round-about hinted that something on Friday might work. In that case I would drop trying to setup my other Friday date. This girl is a dead ringer for Julia Stiles.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Woz has been listening.Lock them into a date as fast as possible. If she is 30 and decent looking she is getting a ton of attention. The fact she messaged you back means she is interested. Get a drink in front of her stat.Thought I would bump this since Stu seems to be around.I have a 2nd date Saturday with a nice gal, I am trying to setup a first date with a different girl on Friday, but this is not about them.I have been in contact (online only) with another girl. This girl is 30 making her 11 years younger than me. The age doesn't seem to be a problem for her, but I have found that the younger girls just don't "talk" as much as the older ones. She is not giving me a lot to go on with her messages. Maybe it is the whole text-quick response thing.
"Let's meet for a drink Friday." A bunch of talking/chatting before meeting isn't necessary imo.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
You couldn't wait more than 5 minutes? <_< Some may think it's a trivial distinction, but "how's Friday work for you?" isn't as strong as what I suggested.Trying that. Just sent her a message asking how Friday worked.Lock them into a date as fast as possible. If she is 30 and decent looking she is getting a ton of attention. The fact she messaged you back means she is interested. Get a drink in front of her stat.Thought I would bump this since Stu seems to be around.I have a 2nd date Saturday with a nice gal, I am trying to setup a first date with a different girl on Friday, but this is not about them.I have been in contact (online only) with another girl. This girl is 30 making her 11 years younger than me. The age doesn't seem to be a problem for her, but I have found that the younger girls just don't "talk" as much as the older ones. She is not giving me a lot to go on with her messages. Maybe it is the whole text-quick response thing.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
My general rule of thumb is a variation on the military's "don't ask, don't tell". Most women want the man to "be a man" and take charge. And the ones who don't are a PITA anyway.
You can be a nice, considerate guy without always asking her what she wants to do or asking permission for things you want to do. Starting this early sets a good precedent.
Now:
"Let's get together for drinks Friday." (confident, assertive) >>> "Would you like to meet for drinks sometime?" 
(meek, deferential)
Year from now:
"I'm going golfing with the guys Saturday."
>>>>>> "Would it be ok if I went golfing with the guys sometime?" 
You can be a nice, considerate guy without always asking her what she wants to do or asking permission for things you want to do. Starting this early sets a good precedent.
Now:
"Let's get together for drinks Friday."
(confident, assertive) >>> "Would you like to meet for drinks sometime?" (meek, deferential)Year from now:
"I'm going golfing with the guys Saturday."
>>>>>> "Would it be ok if I went golfing with the guys sometime?"
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Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
Year from now:"I'm going golfing with the guys Saturday."
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Sorry GB. I've heard you can regain "hand", but it's much more difficult than claiming it from the start.A buddy has been dating his girl maybe a month longer than I've been with mine (3 or 4 months) and is in a constant (mostly losing) power struggle. Recent, similar exchanges...Him: "My dad wants to celebrate his birthday in Jamaica in the fall. I told him that sounded fun. Want to go?"His gf: "I can't believe I wasn't included in the planning of this. Blah blah blah... angry words... doghouse."Elsewhere...Me: "Looks like I'm going to miss the Arcade Fire show... guys' trip to the Pensacola area is happening that weekend. Something called the Mullet Toss, which sounds like a good excuse to hang out on the beach for three days and drink a lot of beer." My gf: "Cool, sounds fun! I'm sure Jen will go to the concert with me."Year from now:"I'm going golfing with the guys Saturday."
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
Gotcha... very relevant as I am trying to negotiate the waters and attend a guys trip to Vegas for Labor Day. Having said that, my emotes were directed towards you because i misread prior post. You meant the royal, general "year from now" for any dude. I read that as a conversation you might be having a year from now.Sorry GB. I've heard you can regain "hand", but it's much more difficult than claiming it from the start.A buddy has been dating his girl maybe a month longer than I've been with mine (3 or 4 months) and is in a constant (mostly losing) power struggle. Recent, similar exchanges...Year from now:
"I'm going golfing with the guys Saturday."
Him: "My dad wants to celebrate his birthday in Jamaica in the fall. I told him that sounded fun. Want to go?"
His gf: "I can't believe I wasn't included in the planning of this. Blah blah blah... angry words... doghouse."
Elsewhere...
Me: "Looks like I'm going to miss the Arcade Fire show... guys' trip to the Pensacola area is happening that weekend. Something called the Mullet Toss, which sounds like a good excuse to hang out on the beach for three days and drink a lot of beer."
My gf: "Cool, sounds fun! I'm sure Jen will go to the concert with me."
My bad.I need to scale back my istalking of Stu a bit. My apologies.
skillz
Footballguy
I am thinking about jumping into this. I'm 35, was married at 24 (to a gal I meet my senior year of college so I didn't date get to date around at all in my 20's ). I got divorced 4 years ago and have enjoyed my time being single. Since my divorce, I've been getting dates the "old fashioned" way by either meeting them in-person or through a friend. It's been hit or miss. Out of the 5 gals I've dated since my divorce only one was someone I really thought I could stay with long-term. Anyway, we broke up earlier this year and after reading a lot of this thread it looks like Idating is a good way to cast a real wide net to meet some new women.
I've always been nervous about using the Internet though due to the crazies that are out there (and they are certainly out there based on what I've read in this thread). I have a 6 year old son from my divorce and am an attorney in the town where I live so I don't want to get some psycho chick stalking me or finding out where I live from the Internet. However, after talking to friends and reading this thread the Internet sites seem to be a goldmine for meeting new women as long as you put together a good profile description that distinguishes yourself along with some decent pics, can be witty with your emails, and aren't fat or ugly.
Anyway, I've convinced myself that my "crazy meter" is properly calibrated after the divorce from my ex and as long as I meet a gal in a public place and don't give out a lot of personal info until I get to know whether she is crazy or not I should be fine.
I am thinking of going with Match and putting a profile up. Is Krista or anyone else even looking at drafts of profiles anymore? I've never seen a Match profile before and only know what to include based on the descriptions in this thread. I would like someone to vet mine before I post it on the site and try it out. Anyone [looking for a female perspective if possible] willing to help a fellow FBG out?
). I got divorced 4 years ago and have enjoyed my time being single. Since my divorce, I've been getting dates the "old fashioned" way by either meeting them in-person or through a friend. It's been hit or miss. Out of the 5 gals I've dated since my divorce only one was someone I really thought I could stay with long-term. Anyway, we broke up earlier this year and after reading a lot of this thread it looks like Idating is a good way to cast a real wide net to meet some new women.I've always been nervous about using the Internet though due to the crazies that are out there (and they are certainly out there based on what I've read in this thread). I have a 6 year old son from my divorce and am an attorney in the town where I live so I don't want to get some psycho chick stalking me or finding out where I live from the Internet. However, after talking to friends and reading this thread the Internet sites seem to be a goldmine for meeting new women as long as you put together a good profile description that distinguishes yourself along with some decent pics, can be witty with your emails, and aren't fat or ugly.
Anyway, I've convinced myself that my "crazy meter" is properly calibrated after the divorce from my ex and as long as I meet a gal in a public place and don't give out a lot of personal info until I get to know whether she is crazy or not I should be fine.
I am thinking of going with Match and putting a profile up. Is Krista or anyone else even looking at drafts of profiles anymore? I've never seen a Match profile before and only know what to include based on the descriptions in this thread. I would like someone to vet mine before I post it on the site and try it out. Anyone [looking for a female perspective if possible] willing to help a fellow FBG out?
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PinkydaPimp
Footballguy
Just post a link here and the FFA would be glad to critique.I am thinking about jumping into this. I'm 35, was married at 24 (to a gal I meet my senior year of college so I didn't date get to date around at all in my 20's
skillz
Footballguy
I just finished the Eharmony profile and once I pony up for the subscription will be able to contact some matches. I have 7 right now but don't have access to their photos yet and who knows whether they are even active members. I think they usually have a free communication weekend over Memorial Day weekend so maybe I will try to communicate with some matches then.
I also have a B&M gal that I am trying to meet for drinks. So we'll see where it all leads....
I also have a B&M gal that I am trying to meet for drinks. So we'll see where it all leads....
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
I've decided to start dating again. I'm not interested in finding a partner for life. Nor am I looking for a booty call. I'm simply bored. No pics this time so I'll keep this from going :e:lsewhere.
Some chick I chatted with online many months ago hit me up on one of my dating sites. I was out of town and by the time I finally got around to her she was in a relationship. It seems she's now single. We'll meet later this week.
Some chick I chatted with online many months ago hit me up on one of my dating sites. I was out of town and by the time I finally got around to her she was in a relationship. It seems she's now single. We'll meet later this week.
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
I'd pay for Early's airfare if she'd fly to AZ and go out on a date with woz.
Zow
Footballguy
No, thank God. But I did have two exes (including the ex) use the same dating sites I did, just at different times. That was awkward knowing my intentions and actions on those sites.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
I've had that. In fact she showed up as my top match within a 100 mile radius.
She showed up as one of my top 20 matches for women across the country. Talk about a gut punch.JbizzleMan
Footballguy
skillz
Footballguy
I met the B&M gal for drinks about 2 weeks ago. Ended up chatting with her for about 3 hours and got her number. Ended up seeing her again on Thursday - went miniature golfing and then to dinner. Ended up hanging out that night for about 3 hours, kissed her after the date, and got the same positive vibes that I had after our first meeting. Texted her yesterday to see if she wanted to get together next weekend. No reply that day. That gave me a bad feeling. She sent an email this morning saying it was fun meeting you but she's not interested in being in a relationship. So, that's that. No idea what happened there but nothing is to be gained from figuring out what happened. I suspect she's juggling a few guys and I wasn't at the top of the cut line. While all that was going on, I was getting a ton of eharmony matches that I wasn't doing anything with. Although I've heard some people complain about never getting any matches, I get about 6 per day. Most matches are scary (either not good looking, post their cats as their profile photo, or their profiles look like they should have been written in crayon) but about 20% of them are real good looking and are definitely women I want to pursue. Anyway, I got like 5 icebreakers that I have ignored and then 3 other women sent me some questions since I've joined. Now that the B&M chick didn't work out, I responded to one of the set of questions I got a few days ago (the other 2 sets of questions I previously closed out and never answered cause I wasn't interested) and will probably send out some more to a 2 or 3 of my matches that I am interested in. Will have to report back once more things start happening. I am definitely going to focus on eharmony now and see what happens.Good luck and keep us updated, please.
skillz
Footballguy
Interesting thing about eharmony is some women that have contacted me have gone right to the email communication stage. Don't know whether that is a good or bad thing. It certainly speeds up the process of meeting them but you don't get all the info you otherwise would by going through the earlier steps. I figure that I can just learn about that stuff out anyway after meeting someone so I don't really have a problem going right to email and trying to set up a meeting. Rookie mistake? I am surprised some of the women want to start at the email stage as I thought they'd be more cautious about moving through the steps before deciding whether to meet a match.
mr. furley
Footballguy
not wasting any time, huh?
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Not that I know #### about dating since I've been married for 11 years, but since I've made the switch to this a few years ago things have gone a lot better.Year from now:"I'm going golfing with the guys Saturday."
PinkydaPimp
Footballguy
i get this from time to time. THats when you know either shes aggressive, or very interested!
YSR
Footballguy
I did eHarmony a few years back (and actually married a guy I met on there 3 weeks ago). Anyway, during that time, I was for some reason turned off by the guys who FastTracked me. Maybe it's a guy/girl thing, but I felt like the guys who wanted to get right to the emails were on there for more of a hookup, etc. I don't expect you to be an overly sensitive female like me about it, but just giving you a girl's perspective. I can't imagine wanting to go straight to the email stage.i get this from time to time. THats when you know either shes aggressive, or very interested!
So watch out for crazy, desperate, etc. Or maybe you've just found yourself a cool nympho or two. Either way, good luck.
Sarnoff
Footballguy
Zow
Footballguy
Update: Cleared out all my connections with my previous town (and did so quite well, I my add). Getting setled in here and ready to start going out in my new area; which has been incredibly impressive. Since I know maybe two people here I'm going to be giving this another shot. Likly signing up for eharmony tonight.
Stu, I'm sure you'll be getting some pms.
Stu, I'm sure you'll be getting some pms.
Early_10
footballgoddess
It's been a month and a half. Is there a set time I should mourn or something? Just wanted to window shop.
Early_10
footballgoddess
Actually, I'm expecting the opposite. I've been with hubby for 21 years. I expect a LOT of single time. While dating of course. I'm aiming for a Disco Stella image.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
I've never tried eharmony, but that's generally true. The window of opportunity is small. Rule of thumb is that if you don't meet within a week of first contact, it's not going to happen.Stu can correct me if I am wrong, but I think a guy should try to get to the email stage ASAP. Lock that #### down. If a female is average+ looking they are getting bombarded with messages. I always use the excuse that it is easier to communicate via email at work than it is to log onto the site. The ones I have had the most success with went to email within the first 24 hours.I did eHarmony a few years back (and actually married a guy I met on there 3 weeks ago). Anyway, during that time, I was for some reason turned off by the guys who FastTracked me. Maybe it's a guy/girl thing, but I felt like the guys who wanted to get right to the emails were on there for more of a hookup, etc. I don't expect you to be an overly sensitive female like me about it, but just giving you a girl's perspective. I can't imagine wanting to go straight to the email stage.i get this from time to time. THats when you know either shes aggressive, or very interested!
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
Boobies.
JbizzleMan
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
standard accepted waiting period is 79 days i believe but i'll have to check the handbook to be sure
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
This is fantastic. I'm getting a fair number of emails from chicks. Maybe my guy friends with profiles are morons but I seem to be getting an above average number of women initiating conversations with me. I think it has to do with the fact I wrote a LOT on my profile. Most of the chicks send me some variation of "Wow, you seem to know what you want." It seems I also give off the ##### vibe. I've met up with three chicks and am currently texting with a few others. All three told me in person I come across as a bit of an ##### via texts/email but am a totally nice guy in person. Two have asked me via text.
The first one - this is the chick I chatted with months ago but she started dating a guy before we met. This happened twice. This time we agreed to meet somewhere at a hookah bar. I showed up an hour and a half late thanks to traffic and a family emergency. Despite spending one night doing some non stop texting with this chick we didn't run out of things to talk about. She's cute, smart, and works as an exotic animal trainer. But she didn't really pique my interest. It didn't feel like we were operating at the same speed. The night went on and we came around to the sex talk as we had done via text. But despite her proclaiming she's a very sexual person numerous times, she was clearly a bit uncomfortable in public. We wandered to a bar and shared a quick peck along the way. After the drinks we *finally* made our way back to her apartment and that's when she surprised me with quite a few toys. We had ourselves a fun time and I left about an hour or so later.
I'm pretty sure we're both on the same page that there's no spark there as we've only exchanged a couple of texts since that night. That or she's waiting for me to contact her. Either way, I'm done with that one. But I'm happy cross 'lion tamer' off my checklist.
The first one - this is the chick I chatted with months ago but she started dating a guy before we met. This happened twice. This time we agreed to meet somewhere at a hookah bar. I showed up an hour and a half late thanks to traffic and a family emergency. Despite spending one night doing some non stop texting with this chick we didn't run out of things to talk about. She's cute, smart, and works as an exotic animal trainer. But she didn't really pique my interest. It didn't feel like we were operating at the same speed. The night went on and we came around to the sex talk as we had done via text. But despite her proclaiming she's a very sexual person numerous times, she was clearly a bit uncomfortable in public. We wandered to a bar and shared a quick peck along the way. After the drinks we *finally* made our way back to her apartment and that's when she surprised me with quite a few toys. We had ourselves a fun time and I left about an hour or so later.
I'm pretty sure we're both on the same page that there's no spark there as we've only exchanged a couple of texts since that night. That or she's waiting for me to contact her. Either way, I'm done with that one. But I'm happy cross 'lion tamer' off my checklist.
Zow
Footballguy
Probably the best piece of advice I got on here (aside from the advice that it isn't wise to mention pedophilia in a first e-mail) is to get the girls on the phone or texting ASAIt removes the whole online stigma and presents you as a more "real" option. Then, when non-online contact is made, push for drinks.I've never tried eharmony, but that's generally true. The window of opportunity is small. Rule of thumb is that if you don't meet within a week of first contact, it's not going to happen.Stu can correct me if I am wrong, but I think a guy should try to get to the email stage ASAP. Lock that #### down. If a female is average+ looking they are getting bombarded with messages. I always use the excuse that it is easier to communicate via email at work than it is to log onto the site. The ones I have had the most success with went to email within the first 24 hours.I did eHarmony a few years back (and actually married a guy I met on there 3 weeks ago). Anyway, during that time, I was for some reason turned off by the guys who FastTracked me. Maybe it's a guy/girl thing, but I felt like the guys who wanted to get right to the emails were on there for more of a hookup, etc. I don't expect you to be an overly sensitive female like me about it, but just giving you a girl's perspective. I can't imagine wanting to go straight to the email stage.i get this from time to time. THats when you know either shes aggressive, or very interested!
Zow
Footballguy
Hmm, I'm looking to hire/bribe someone to do my profiles to give Stu a break. You interested?This is fantastic. I'm getting a fair number of emails from chicks. Maybe my guy friends with profiles are morons but I seem to be getting an above average number of women initiating conversations with me. I think it has to do with the fact I wrote a LOT on my profile. Most of the chicks send me some variation of "Wow, you seem to know what you want." It seems I also give off the ##### vibe. I've met up with three chicks and am currently texting with a few others. All three told me in person I come across as a bit of an ##### via texts/email but am a totally nice guy in person. Two have asked me via text.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Sure, I'm game. I'm always happy to help friends in the world of dating. But I think my style differs from Stu a great deal.
Zow
Footballguy
This could be fun. I'm going to set up some accounts tonight and get your contact info. Shtick potential high here.
Early_10
footballgoddess
Thats like 34 Canadian days. I'm good.
Early_10
footballgoddess
Do one for me too. I know what I don't like but I blanked when I tried to write what I do like.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Will do. I've set some profiles up for my female friends as well. You ladies have a huge edge - you really don't need to write anything. Just post a cute/sexy picture and you're set.The biggest thing for anyone is to leave out the anger, bitterness, negativity, and skepticism. This seems obvious to me but too many people don't do this. Nobody wants to hang out with miserable people. People want to be with happy and fun people. Make it seem as though your life is totally awesome and if they play their cards right they'll be lucky enough to catch a taste of it.
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krista4
Footballguy
I did eHarmony a few years back (and actually married a guy I met on there 3 weeks ago). Anyway, during that time, I was for some reason turned off by the guys who FastTracked me. Maybe it's a guy/girl thing, but I felt like the guys who wanted to get right to the emails were on there for more of a hookup, etc. I don't expect you to be an overly sensitive female like me about it, but just giving you a girl's perspective. I can't imagine wanting to go straight to the email stage.i get this from time to time. THats when you know either shes aggressive, or very interested!
I felt exactly the same way when I did eHarmony. I really liked the intro stages and was a little creeped out by the Fast Track guys.
The_Man
Footballguy
Good job. Now just write and text women with that same tone and you won't need to come beg other guys to draft your emails for you.
