Parents of young kids - entire family go to kids friends bday parties? (1 Viewer)

[tommyGunZ]

I have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old. 3 yr old is now a frequent flyer on the birthday party circuit. The 1 yr old provides a perfectly legitimate excuse for 1 parent to dodge these bullets. On the other hand, it leaves the other parent flying solo at these parties which is less than optimal.

How does your family roll? All for 1 and 1 for all, so everyone goes? Or do you and wifey take turns taking one for the team?

 

[otello]

Just show up with the family and take advantage of the free food and fun. Don't bring gifts. If someone says something, act entitled. You know the drill.

 

[shadyridr]

I dont understand, what birthday party is a 3 yr old being invited solo? Pre-k classmates?

 

[tommyGunZ]

I dont understand, what birthday party is a 3 yr old being invited solo? Pre-k classmates?

Daughter will not be there solo - she will either be accompanied by one parent or the entire family. Hence the poll and thread.

 

[Clown Car]

I would take the 3yo and hubs would stay home with the 1 yo. Very rarely would he go to a kids party. Extremely rarely. I take, he keeps kid at home or I take both depending on my wish.

 

[shadyridr]

I dont understand, what birthday party is a 3 yr old being invited solo? Pre-k classmates?

Daughter will not be there solo - she will either be accompanied by one parent or the entire family. Hence the poll and thread.

lol i realize that. Im saying what type of party was she invited to alone and her sibling was not invited to?

 

[tommyGunZ]

Just show up with the family and take advantage of the free food and fun. Don't bring gifts. If someone says something, act entitled. You know the drill.

The "fun"? Maybe the first couple dozen birthday parties are okay when they are young, but now it's more of a staring at the sands of the hourglass wondering how soon is too soon to leave and keeping an eye out for that brave parent who goes first.

 

[tommyGunZ]

I dont understand, what birthday party is a 3 yr old being invited solo? Pre-k classmates?

Daughter will not be there solo - she will either be accompanied by one parent or the entire family. Hence the poll and thread.

lol i realize that. Im saying what type of party was she invited to alone and her sibling was not invited to?

Pre-school classmate.

 

[MAC_32]

No alcohol, wife takes both kids, I do other stuff.

With alcohol, we all go and she drives.

 

[danielmclark]

Depends on the ages and if one parent or both is going. I have two kids with a 3 year difference between them. When the older was 4 and the younger was 1, we saw no problem with bringing the younger if one of us couldn't (or didn't want to) stay home with him. Now they're older, and we go out of our way to avoid bringing the 5 year old to parties his 8 year old sister has been invited to.

 

[shadyridr]

I thinking bringing a 1 yr old is fine. But bringing an older sibling isnt. One parent should stay home with the sibling unless both are invited.

 

[bentley]

Ours are 4 and 2. If the party is for a preschool friend, one of us usually takes the 4 YO and the other stays behind with the 2 YO. I always volunteer to stay home. If the people are actual friends then the whole family goes.

 

[Guest]

I would take the 3 year old, bring a couple bottles of wine, and hit on the moms.

 

[fantasycurse42]

I live in the most baby filled neighborhood on Earth - i've spent the vast majority of my weekends in the last two months attending one year old birthday parties. my wife is in a moms group with 20 other babies born within 6 weeks of my son... My wife insisted we had this huge over the top 1 year old birthday party for our son, he was one of the oldest in the group (there was wine and beer for adults) - for the vast majority, both parents showed up to my sons birthday. we are in agreement we both have to go to theirs.

ETA: She is actually in agreement that we both have to attend

 

[tommyGunZ]

Ours are 4 and 2. If the party is for a preschool friend, one of us usually takes the 4 YO and the other stays behind with the 2 YO. I always volunteer to stay home. If the people are actual friends then the whole family goes.

Yeah, when the people are our friends we always go as a family.

 

[msommer]

Poll flawed, no "Hell NO" option

This only lasts until they start school. From then on it's either no parents or one parent only...

 

[shuke]

I dont understand, what birthday party is a 3 yr old being invited solo? Pre-k classmates?

Daughter will not be there solo - she will either be accompanied by one parent or the entire family. Hence the poll and thread.

lol i realize that. Im saying what type of party was she invited to alone and her sibling was not invited to?

Pre-school classmate.

Then no way should you assume the whole family is invited.

 

[cstu]

Just show up with the family and take advantage of the free food and fun. Don't bring gifts. If someone says something, act entitled. You know the drill.

The "fun"? Maybe the first couple dozen birthday parties are okay when they are young, but now it's more of a staring at the sands of the hourglass wondering how soon is too soon to leave and keeping an eye out for that brave parent who goes first.

 

[cstu]

I dont understand, what birthday party is a 3 yr old being invited solo? Pre-k classmates?

Daughter will not be there solo - she will either be accompanied by one parent or the entire family. Hence the poll and thread.

lol i realize that. Im saying what type of party was she invited to alone and her sibling was not invited to?

Pre-school classmate.

Then no way should you assume the whole family is invited.

Are people supposed to get a babysitter so they can go to your child's party? IMO if you invite a child you are inviting their family.

 

[shadyridr]

I dont understand, what birthday party is a 3 yr old being invited solo? Pre-k classmates?

Daughter will not be there solo - she will either be accompanied by one parent or the entire family. Hence the poll and thread.

lol i realize that. Im saying what type of party was she invited to alone and her sibling was not invited to?

Pre-school classmate.

Then no way should you assume the whole family is invited.

Are people supposed to get a babysitter so they can go to your child's party? IMO if you invite a child you are inviting their family.

if you are invited to an adult dinner party are you supposed to get a babysitter or bring the whole family?

 

[shadyridr]

Also, are you supposed to know how many siblings all your preschool classmates have, cuz you know if you are inviting the whole family you usually have to know a headcount.

 

[NutterButter]

I'd never take a 1 yr old to my older kids bday party. When they were 3 & 5, my wife would take both if the people throwing the party were cool with it. At that age, its really not a big deal to do solo.

 

[cstu]

I dont understand, what birthday party is a 3 yr old being invited solo? Pre-k classmates?

Daughter will not be there solo - she will either be accompanied by one parent or the entire family. Hence the poll and thread.

lol i realize that. Im saying what type of party was she invited to alone and her sibling was not invited to?

Pre-school classmate.

Then no way should you assume the whole family is invited.

Are people supposed to get a babysitter so they can go to your child's party? IMO if you invite a child you are inviting their family.

if you are invited to an adult dinner party are you supposed to get a babysitter or bring the whole family?

Not remotely the same thing.

 

[cstu]

Also, are you supposed to know how many siblings all your preschool classmates have, cuz you know if you are inviting the whole family you usually have to know a headcount.

It's probably a good idea to find out beforehand, especially if you are having it at your house or need a headcount for the place it's being held. I live in an area where no one has more than two kids so it hasn't been an issue. I suppose if you are in Clown Car's neighborhood you have to be careful.

 

[belljr]

it depends on the kid, if its a school friend one of us goes solo. if its a family friend we sonetimes all go, sometimes solo. it really depends on how well we know the parents

 

[belljr]

wanted ti add for all the school kid parties not one time did a whole family show up... usually 1 parent 1 kid

 

[El Floppo]

We have a 2 and 6 yo. We usually prefer just sending one with one parent and having the other kid hang out with the other parent (for our kids, it maximizes the party experience not having to share it with their sibling). Sometimes I'll take both to give the wife a break and give me more time with both kids, even if both usually end up upset at not getting enough daddy-time.

Parties we're invited to either explicitly say "bring the whole family" or not. If not, we always ask if it's cool to bring the others. I can't imagine just showing up with all four of us without asking first. Do people do this?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Inviting an entire pre-K class? We're just going to have our daughter bring cupcakes for her next b-day, and have the birthday for her playgroup friends/family friends.

Inviting an entire preschool class is a catastrophe.

We switch it up, sometimes we all go, sometimes one of us will take both kids, sometimes one of us will take the 3 yo. All depends.

 

[flysack]

To me these things are the worst form of hell. It may sound callous, but I don't even go to my own son's birthday parties. Thank goodness we convinced him to go to NYC instead this year.

*I also recognize how lucky I an to have a very understanding and accepting wife. Many women wouldn't put up with this. But she does, and she enjoys doing the birthday thing.

 

[tommyGunZ]

Inviting an entire pre-K class? We're just going to have our daughter bring cupcakes for her next b-day, and have the birthday for her playgroup friends/family friends.

Inviting an entire preschool class is a catastrophe.

We switch it up, sometimes we all go, sometimes one of us will take both kids, sometimes one of us will take the 3 yo. All depends.

Wasn't the entire class. This kid and my daughter play together at school all day. I know the parents, just not well. And they live only ~ a mile away, so these two will likely be classmates for awhile.

 

[tommyGunZ]

We have a 2 and 6 yo. We usually prefer just sending one with one parent and having the other kid hang out with the other parent (for our kids, it maximizes the party experience not having to share it with their sibling). Sometimes I'll take both to give the wife a break and give me more time with both kids, even if both usually end up upset at not getting enough daddy-time.

Parties we're invited to either explicitly say "bring the whole family" or not. If not, we always ask if it's cool to bring the others. I can't imagine just showing up with all four of us without asking first. Do people do this?

This was a party at the kids house, and apparently they had beer/wine for the adults. I know the parents, not well, but we'll enough to not be imposing if I had shown up with the whole family.

 

[Mario Kart]

Since when does a kid's party mean "bring the whole family"? Invite the kid, expect the kid to only show up unless a parent to accompany said kid is requested. At no time does an invite mean "come on down family of four or five or six or seven."

 

[SlaX]

For us, it depends on who the birthday person is. If it's someone I know, and I have the day off, I'll go with them. But usually it's my wife taking my daughter to the parties. There are rare occasions when I know the kids' family more than my wife does and she will or won't attend.

 

[Sinn Fein]

I dont understand, what birthday party is a 3 yr old being invited solo? Pre-k classmates?

Daughter will not be there solo - she will either be accompanied by one parent or the entire family. Hence the poll and thread.

lol i realize that. Im saying what type of party was she invited to alone and her sibling was not invited to?

Pre-school classmate.

Then no way should you assume the whole family is invited.

Are people supposed to get a babysitter so they can go to your child's party? IMO if you invite a child you are inviting their family.

are you nuts?

 

[Sinn Fein]

If "a" child is invited, they are accompanied by "an" adult. There is never any reason for anyone else from your family to attend unless specifically invited.

 

[Apple Jack]

My God this sounds horrible.

 

[schlesinj]

I have 4 kids and anytime one has been invited it is 1 kid and 1 adult until they are of age to go alone. Those parties are typically on weekends when you may have help from a spouse.

As others have said if it is a friend of the family then a family could be invited, but the people throwing the party would invite the family. Of course, you may have circumstances where you bring a sibling due to lack of help, but I would certainly ask the party thrower first before showing up.

Also, my kids always loved taking me since it was a 1 on 1 time. Sometimes that is more important then them having a slice of pizza and going to Chuck e Cheese with a bunch of kids they may not be friends with in a year or so.

 

[El Floppo]

Inviting an entire pre-K class? We're just going to have our daughter bring cupcakes for her next b-day, and have the birthday for her playgroup friends/family friends.

Inviting an entire preschool class is a catastrophe.

We switch it up, sometimes we all go, sometimes one of us will take both kids, sometimes one of us will take the 3 yo. All depends.

Wasn't the entire class. This kid and my daughter play together at school all day. I know the parents, just not well. And they live only ~ a mile away, so these two will likely be classmates for awhile.

fwiw, my kid's preschool requires that everybody gets invited...

 

[El Floppo]

We have a 2 and 6 yo. We usually prefer just sending one with one parent and having the other kid hang out with the other parent (for our kids, it maximizes the party experience not having to share it with their sibling). Sometimes I'll take both to give the wife a break and give me more time with both kids, even if both usually end up upset at not getting enough daddy-time.

Parties we're invited to either explicitly say "bring the whole family" or not. If not, we always ask if it's cool to bring the others. I can't imagine just showing up with all four of us without asking first. Do people do this?

This was a party at the kids house, and apparently they had beer/wine for the adults. I know the parents, not well, but we'll enough to not be imposing if I had shown up with the whole family.

Like I wrote- I would never just show up without asking first, even with close friends, but that's me. We have friends with multiple kids and stay-at-home moms where you know you're getting the package deal if you invite them to a playdate or party.

 

[Clown Car]

I my circle of large family friends, we all just assume you are bringing all the kids. It is no big deal, but our parties aren't extravagant either. Occasionally one kid will be invited to something special like zip lining. He just went with the family inviting him. Right now we are planning a capture the flag party for my #4. It is going to be combined with his friends birthday as they were born 7 days apart. It is going to be awesome. 6 or 8 other large families and a couple of singletons. There is always room for one more.

 

[Clown Car]

And dads barely ever come.

 

[the moops]

my oldest starts pre-k at the end if the month. is this what I have to look forward to? dang

 

[shadyridr]

I dont mind kids parties when done at a place. Theyre usually only 2 hours long. The kids play for the first hour, you can sit and relax without them being up your ### the whole time. The place usually has coffee for the adults and then the 2nd hour you usually get some free pizza while the kids play games. Then othe way home the kids are exhausted and thats more time to relax! Win- win imo. Plus you get to see the joy on your childs face which is always awesome.

 

[belljr]

I dont mind kids parties when done at a place. Theyre usually only 2 hours long. The kids play for the first hour, you can sit and relax without them being up tour ### the whole time. The place usually has coffee for the adults and then the 2nd hour you usually get some free pizza while the kids play games. Then othe way home the kids are exhausted and thats more time to relax! Win- win imo. Plus you get to see the joy on your childs face which is always awesome.

yep all the parties are bounce u, skating, bowling etc work wrll

 

[Sinn Fein]

my oldest starts pre-k at the end if the month. is this what I have to look forward to? dang

Just wait until you kid starts talking about bath time. You won't be invited often....

 

[the moops]

my oldest starts pre-k at the end if the month. is this what I have to look forward to? dang

Just wait until you kid starts talking about bath time. You won't be invited often....

I may start taking more baths with him if it gets me out of these stupid things

 

[prosopis]

I would never go to a 3 year old birthday or have my kid go to one, unless it was a close friend and I do not have many close friends. Who the hell has a birthday party for a three year old and invites strangers?

 

[the moops]

Who the hell has a birthday party for a three year old and invites strangers?

 

[tommyGunZ]

I would never go to a 3 year old birthday or have my kid go to one, unless it was a close friend and I do not have many close friends. Who the hell has a birthday party for a three year old and invites strangers?

Classmates.

 

[shadyridr]

I would never go to a 3 year old birthday or have my kid go to one, unless it was a close friend and I do not have many close friends. Who the hell has a birthday party for a three year old and invites strangers?

lol newsflash, your kids are gonna have friends growing up with parents you may not know.