Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
Getting re-shticked by the wife and daughter incessantly humming/singing "Senorita."
Your wife is going to wonder what all the sticky notes with blue dots are doing all over the bedroom.Gonna start some new shtick at home tonight. Grabbed some of those sticky note things, and I'm going to start posting "reminders" all around the house. Gonna start small and see how far I can get.
Gonna start with some simple ones, like:
Turn Off Light (for the kids rooms)
Brush Your Teeth (kids bathroom)
Stuff like that. Gonna see how far I can take this before everyone gets pissed at me.
It'll be hilarious when you find one in your bed that says: "Sleep on the couch"Gonna start some new shtick at home tonight. Grabbed some of those sticky note things, and I'm going to start posting "reminders" all around the house. Gonna start small and see how far I can get.
Gonna start with some simple ones, like:
Turn Off Light (for the kids rooms)
Brush Your Teeth (kids bathroom)
Stuff like that. Gonna see how far I can take this before everyone gets pissed at me.
This is basically how I use snapchat with my kids. I snap them pictures of dishes in the sink, dirty cups left in the living room, clothes on the floor, etc. Only took about day for everyone to be pissed at me.Gonna start some new shtick at home tonight. Grabbed some of those sticky note things, and I'm going to start posting "reminders" all around the house. Gonna start small and see how far I can get.
Gonna start with some simple ones, like:
Turn Off Light (for the kids rooms)
Brush Your Teeth (kids bathroom)
Stuff like that. Gonna see how far I can take this before everyone gets pissed at me.
that one's a big hit in my houseRG623 said:Driving my kids crazy lately with this classic:
Kid: I’m hungry
Me: Hi hungry, I’m Daddy
I have also insisted to my best friend that Patrick Swayze is a far better actor than Tom Hanks. All these conversations inevitbaly end with "HE WAS BODI FROM POINT BREAK FOR GAWDS SAKE!!!"I have pretended to be enraged at Britanny Murphy for years because of how hard her character does Eminem wrong in 8 mile. I would see her in other movies and express my hatred for that character as well, because "of how she did eminem wrong in 8 mile". My wife firmly believed I was unable to distinguish between Britanny Murphy, her character in 8 mile and any other character Britanny Murphy played. Once Britanny Murphy died I just couldn;t let the fun go and I then proceeded to pretend I hated Reese Witherspoon because of how hard she did Eminem in 8 mile. This drove my wife extra crazy beacuse she now thinks I can't distinguish between Britanny Murphy, Reese Witherspoon or any of thier characters. I stick to this schtick like my life depends on it. She tells people at partys what an idiot I am. It's worth it.
Yes we are weird. But they all did Eminem dirty in 8 mile.
I'm super into the long game schtick.
I would put that baby in a corner.I have a framed picture of Patrick Swayze in my office.
####in' A.I have pretended to be enraged at Britanny Murphy for years because of how hard her character does Eminem wrong in 8 mile. I would see her in other movies and express my hatred for that character as well, because "of how she did eminem wrong in 8 mile". My wife firmly believed I was unable to distinguish between Britanny Murphy, her character in 8 mile and any other character Britanny Murphy played. Once Britanny Murphy died I just couldn;t let the fun go and I then proceeded to pretend I hated Reese Witherspoon because of how hard she did Eminem in 8 mile. This drove my wife extra crazy beacuse she now thinks I can't distinguish between Britanny Murphy, Reese Witherspoon or any of thier characters. I stick to this schtick like my life depends on it. She tells people at partys what an idiot I am. It's worth it.
Yes we are weird. But they all did Eminem dirty in 8 mile.
I'm super into the long game schtick.
Be....nice.I have also insisted to my best friend that Patrick Swayze is a far better actor than Tom Hanks. All these conversations inevitbaly end with "HE WAS BODI FROM POINT BREAK FOR GAWDS SAKE!!!"
I have a framed picture of Patrick Swayze in my office.
Well, he isI have also insisted to my best friend that Patrick Swayze is a far better actor than Tom Hanks. All these conversations inevitbaly end with "HE WAS BODI FROM POINT BREAK FOR GAWDS SAKE!!!"
I have a framed picture of Patrick Swayze in my office.
Ive tried working this in on a few occasions, pretty sure I will get stabbed soonGot my wife pretty good last night.
She's in the kitchen trying to chop some stuff on the cutting board and not fully paying attention around her.
So, when we are both in the kitchen and one of us is in front of a drawer where the other needs something, we just kind of reach toward the drawer and maybe nudge a little and then the other person will move over enough to open the drawer.
Well, while she was chopping, I went to get something from the drawer where she was (our silverware drawer). So she scooted over some. A few seconds later, I went for the new drawer she was standing in front of, so she went back to where she was. Then I went for that drawer again. By the fourth drawer, she turned to me and was about to erupt when I burst into laughter.
I needed nothing from any of the drawers.
All at once? Or just a few minor episodes while setting it up for a big showdown?Ive tried working this in on a few occasions, pretty sure I will get stabbed soon
Similar style schtick in our house. Constantly 'confusing' Forest Whitaker with Tone Loc. As in, "Gotta give Tone Loc credit, he may not be Will Smith but he was really good in Black Panther."Jackstraw said:I have pretended to be enraged at Britanny Murphy for years because of how hard her character does Eminem wrong in 8 mile. I would see her in other movies and express my hatred for that character as well, because "of how she did eminem wrong in 8 mile". My wife firmly believed I was unable to distinguish between Britanny Murphy, her character in 8 mile and any other character Britanny Murphy played. Once Britanny Murphy died I just couldn;t let the fun go and I then proceeded to pretend I hated Reese Witherspoon because of how hard she did Eminem in 8 mile. This drove my wife extra crazy beacuse she now thinks I can't distinguish between Britanny Murphy, Reese Witherspoon or any of thier characters. I stick to this schtick like my life depends on it. She tells people at partys what an idiot I am. It's worth it.
Yes we are weird. But they all did Eminem dirty in 8 mile.
I'm super into the long game schtick.
Driving my kids crazy lately with this classic:
Kid: I’m hungry
Me: Hi hungry, I’m Daddy
My boys have started heading this off before they even say it.that one's a big hit in my house
Bravo! This guy deserves some sort of lifetime achievement award.
Had the chance to do this last night. My wife looked at me like I'm an idiot and told me to shut up.Just realized another one last night. My wife is constantly looking for her phone. She sets it down somewhere, then can't remember where. Usually she'll find it but about twice a week she'll come up to me and say "hey call my phone" so she can find it.
And I always throw my head back and bellow "RACHEL'S PHOOOOOOOOOONE, WHEEEEEEEEERE AAAAAAAAARE YOUUUUUUUUU?"
Gets an eyeroll everytime
This will require weekly updates at a minimum!I have my middle son starting down a fun path....His older sister got an Amazon Echo for her bday. Middle-Peak has been going into her room while she's at work and setting an alarm via Alexa. This alarm is set to go off at odd hours throughout the night with Alexa saying "Middle-Peak is your master" at full volume. He sets the alarm throughout the day when Older-Peak is not home and just waits. It went off last night at 10:48pm and scared his older sister out of bed. She started yelling at him and I could hear him playing dumb from his room. "What? What happened? Alexa said what?"
Older-Peak was overly confused and tired. She went to go tell Mrs Peak what happened. Older-Peak passed me in the hall and I asked that she turn Alexa's volume down or she'll wake up her younger brother. This got me a dirty look as she rushed by saying "I did! I don't know how Alexa got so loud!"
When Older-Peak was in a different room, I watched Middle-Peak run out of his room and into Older-Peak's room. He tells Alexa to go to full volume and reset the Master Alarm for 2:12am. He then ran back into his room before Older-Peak got back. She was none the wiser.
I sat back pleased that I have taught him well and look forward to chaos this new, fun interaction between siblings will bring.
Most likely it was one of the guys that posted above you .Not my shtick, but lately at the grocery store or the occasional Wal-Mart trip, I've been noticing items placed in random locations where they don't belong. For example, a bottle of hot sauce in the frozen pizza case. Who does this?
Most likely it was one of the guys that posted above you .
I like to drop one of these in the meat departmemt.Not my shtick, but lately at the grocery store or the occasional Wal-Mart trip, I've been noticing items placed in random locations where they don't belong. For example, a bottle of hot sauce in the frozen pizza case. Who does this?
Sorry, man, I thought it would be a nice change of pace. It's always "Rosé every day" at these drafts with you and guys...Not sure if it was shtick or not, but a guy at my draft last night showed up with a 12 pack of white claw
Guy at my draft showed up drinking some of those “Truly” hard seltzers. After the second round, I’d start playing Lionel Richie during his picks.Not sure if it was shtick or not, but a guy at my draft last night showed up with a 12 pack of white claw
Great idea. Next time I'm signing in as JuJu Smith-Schuster.Using awesome names like "Jasper" when putting your name in at those self-serve ordering stations like at Taco Bell.
That way it's up on the "we're working on your order" screen AND the little Latina worker lady gets to call it out when your food's done.
Maybe they'll throw you your tacos?Great idea. Next time I'm signing in as JuJu Smith-Schuster.
(For best schtick rating) this really works if you ride a bike through the drive thru.Great idea. Next time I'm signing in as JuJu Smith-Schuster.
I do this but instead of Daddy I say Larry.Driving my kids crazy lately with this classic:
Kid: I’m hungry
Me: Hi hungry, I’m Daddy
About 20 years ago I tried the old drive through the drive through backwards shtick and they didn’t serve me. I was so disappointed.(For best schtick rating) this really works if you ride a bike through the drive thru.