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Weird People in your office/work bathroom and Office nicknames! (1 Viewer)

People who have long loud conversations in the bathroom when others are in there.  Small talk I can understand but I don't need to hear about your in laws acting like buttholes when I'm dropping turds

 
Started at a new job, 1 bathroom per gender.  Men's room has 1 stall, 1 urinal.

45 people in the office, I'd say close to 50/50 guys vs. girls.  

No weirdness yet but I can no longer take my 10-minute dumps. :(

 
Ran into a project manager on one of my teams at the urinals and he had his pants pulled down under his buttcheeks as he relieved himself. Carried on a conversation with me without an iota of shame. I've seen this with other hefty dudes at this place of employment. I don't get it.

 
dickey moe said:
Ran into a project manager on one of my teams at the urinals and he had his pants pulled down under his buttcheeks as he relieved himself. Carried on a conversation with me without an iota of shame. I've seen this with other hefty dudes at this place of employment. I don't get it.
Click to expand...
Hell no

 
dickey moe said:
Ran into a project manager on one of my teams at the urinals and he had his pants pulled down under his buttcheeks as he relieved himself. Carried on a conversation with me without an iota of shame. I've seen this with other hefty dudes at this place of employment. I don't get it.
Click to expand...
Did he have a nice ###?

 
Tom Servo said:
Rhythmdoctor said:
Probably not but it's a public bathroom, so deal with it. Plus, I'm not going to spray your old crap all over my taint so you don't have to smell my crap!
Click to expand...
If the water is clean and clear when you sit down, what are you worried about?
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not sure what kind of bionic toilets you guys are using that spray you while flushing... bidets?

I courtesy flush to minimize stink, but also to minimize chance of clog. 

 
for some reason the cleaning lady likes to come around 10-11 am everyday to clean our only restroom so its off limits for at least 30 minutes as she cleans and chats on her phone. Had to take a trip to harris teeter and clogged the toilet. im surprised they don't have the industrial strength toilets there.

oh well not my problem :lmao:

 
If I have to drop a duece at work I prefer to wait until nobody else is in the bathroom before I unload.   On the contrary, older guys in my offfice seem to have to no shame and walk right in and sit down and blast away without any embarrassment whatsoever.  

 
VA703 said:
for some reason the cleaning lady likes to come around 10-11 am everyday to clean our only restroom so its off limits for at least 30 minutes as she cleans and chats on her phone. Had to take a trip to harris teeter and clogged the toilet. im surprised they don't have the industrial strength toilets there.

oh well not my problem :lmao:
Click to expand...
Only restroom, or the only men's restroom? If it's the latter I grant you permission to blow up the ladies room at these times. 

Also, WTF does it take an hour? Making a restroom unavailable for an hour is ridiculous, especially at that time of day.

 
VandyMan said:
Only restroom, or the only men's restroom? If it's the latter I grant you permission to blow up the ladies room at these times. 

Also, WTF does it take an hour? Making a restroom unavailable for an hour is ridiculous, especially at that time of day.
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the only men's restroom. id say there's probably 40+ guys here at a time so its pretty inconvenient.

It takes her a while to clean it because

1) bunch of slobs that work here that make a complete mess

2) shes slow and or doesn't care

3) shes busy chatting on her cell phone half the time

next time im just going to #### in my trash bin and leave it next to the elevators

time to bring in wet wipes

 
VA703 said:
the only men's restroom. id say there's probably 40+ guys here at a time so its pretty inconvenient.

It takes her a while to clean it because

1) bunch of slobs that work here that make a complete mess

2) shes slow and or doesn't care

3) shes busy chatting on her cell phone half the time

next time im just going to #### in my trash bin and leave it next to the elevators

time to bring in wet wipes
Click to expand...
I like your tenacity

 
The honker.

Guy sits in there - honks his nose, over and over.  Craps,  Wipes over and over and over again, then pee's.  I'm not sure about you but when I crap... PEE comes out at the same time I'm crapping.  What is this weirdo doing pinching it?  Sounds like Niagara Falls directly next to me.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Somebody in our office, and I have caught him yet, cleans his hard boiled egg in the bathroom sink leaving shell pieces in the sink.  Several feet away from the bathroom is a kitchen area he could clean his egg shell, but decides the bathroom is a better location.

 
All our bathroom have 1 urinal, and 2 crappers (one being a handicap). If I am peeing in the urinal, and this dude Chris comes in, he will wait until I am finished peeing to pee at the urinal. Guy refuses to go into either of the empty stalls to pee. Instead, just hovers behind me waiting.

 
The coworkers and bosses use the opposite genders' restrooms if the regular one is occupied. Not me though, that's weird.

 
I used to work with a guy about a decade ago when the ear attach bluetooth devices were first popular who would stand at the urinal and call people to talk, including me, on a regular basis.   You could clearly hear pi##ing and flushing sounds in the background.    

 
I may have told this one before.  A guy came to my desk once at work, I kind of knew this guy but not very well, he worked on the manufacturing floor.  Asked to borrow my scissors.  I was like, sure.  

About 5 minutes later I need to take a piss.  Go into the bathroom, and he's in there trimming his mustache with my scissors.  Says, "sometimes you just got to get those crazy hairs that are bugging you!"

I said, "why don't you just keep those".

 
There's this super skinny dude on my floor. Very odd. He wears a belt that is way too long - the end of the belt wraps around him and ends at the small of his back. Whenever he's in the bathroom, he washes his hands for what seems like 5 minutes. He uses the hot water and by the time he's done, his hands are bright red. 

 
Andrew74 said:
There's this super skinny dude on my floor. Very odd. He wears a belt that is way too long - the end of the belt wraps around him and ends at the small of his back. Whenever he's in the bathroom, he washes his hands for what seems like 5 minutes. He uses the hot water and by the time he's done, his hands are bright red. 
Click to expand...
What is his job?

 
We got this Uncle RICO guy who runs around our building on lunch.  Throws a football over a 20 foot fence, runs around to get it like a dog.  On occasion takes out kendo sticks and stretches. Then he takes the handi cap stall for 30 minutes.  

All you hear is a can of axe being sprayed.  It's all the bathroom smells like for the next hour which is a good thing I guess.  His son played D3 ball and was good. So he'll forward the same crappy video highlights of emails he's been sending NFL gms for years trying to get a camp invite. 

 
jrt103 said:
Video please!
Click to expand...
Reminds me of some guy on this board that videoed him racing some dude from his office. One of them was a smoker and looked like he was going to hack up a lung. Also funny seeing these two dudes in their office clothes running across the parking lot.

 
Wow, I thought it was just my company : 

1.) Guy #1 - he used to fall asleep on the toilet and snore loudly - he did this for about 6 months until he was let go.

2.) Guy #2 - he has some sort of issues going on, like a lot of issues.  But one of the more odd and annoying issues he has (and this is like a 50+ year old man) is that he will stand in the stall and RUN/ FULL SPRINT out of the restroom but only AFTER you have gone into the stall.  So he does his thing, buttons up and like a cat, waits for opportunity to exit like the bathroom is on fire.  Key points here, he does NOT wash his hands and yes he SPRINTS out of the bathroom and yes you will get knocked over if you are in his way.  There's A LOT of weird things this guy does, this is just one example.

3.) Guy #3 - we used to call this guy "beenie weenie" because he ate nothing but canned beans every single day, three times a day and he used to spray crap everywhere.  He also used to leave his dirty dishes in the sink.  He left the company on his own.

4.) Guy #4 - this guy died some years ago but he used to intentionally piss down the overflow drain in our old bathrooms before they were remodeled.  We had a "men's only" company meeting with the old president of the company.  He called the meeting and said "this has to stop, whomever is pissing down the drain you will cease immediately" and it was done in such a way so as to say "we know who it is but we don't really have proof."  Cameras were installed company wide about a month or so after this meeting, the drain pisser was nabbed and it stopped.  

5.) Guys #5 and #6 - they don't wash their hands and all the jokes, belittling, singling out, embarrassing remarks, etc. have failed.  Now it's to the point "oh, someone else is in the bathroom, I'll pretend to wash my hands."  I've stopped saying anything so neither of them wash their hands nor even "fake wash" their hands around me any more. By fake wash, I mean, I'm standing right there (a foot away) and I can see them turn the water on and turn it right off and walk away like "it's all good, amirite?" kind of a look.  

5.) Guy #7 - this guy, to me, is the worst.  It's like this guy has some kind of spray nozzle attached to his azzhole.  This guy, literally, sprays $hit onto the upper back most part of the toilet and I will be double damned if I understand how this is even humanly possible.  Seriously, I do not get it.  I mean, I see it, I do not know whom is responsible and I always smh and walk away from that stall but it makes my mind go into 10 minutes of trying to figure out how one does this.  It's like one of those giant cement guns spraying crap in a very specific, above the water line and to the upper most back part of the bowl.  Again, the human azzhole points straight down, how in God's name does someone get his azzhole to point there and spray crap like it'a some kind of azs uzi is beyond me.  It's so disgusting though, I'd like to stick his head in there while he explains it to me but then again, maybe I don't want to know.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Sullie said:
Wow, I thought it was just my company : 

1.) Guy #1 - he used to fall asleep on the toilet and snore loudly - he did this for about 6 months until he was let go.

2.) Guy #2 - he has some sort of issues going on, like a lot of issues.  But one of the more odd and annoying issues he has (and this is like a 50+ year old man) is that he will stand in the stall and RUN/ FULL SPRINT out of the restroom but only AFTER you have gone into the stall.  So he does his thing, buttons up and like a cat, waits for opportunity to exit like the bathroom is on fire.  Key points here, he does NOT wash his hands and yes he SPRINTS out of the bathroom and yes you will get knocked over if you are in his way.  There's A LOT of weird things this guy does, this is just one example.

3.) Guy #3 - we used to call this guy "beenie weenie" because he ate nothing but canned beans every single day, three times a day and he used to spray crap everywhere.  He also used to leave his dirty dishes in the sink.  He left the company on his own.

4.) Guy #4 - this guy died some years ago but he used to intentionally piss down the overflow drain in our old bathrooms before they were remodeled.  We had a "men's only" company meeting with the old president of the company.  He called the meeting and said "this has to stop, whomever is pissing down the drain you will cease immediately" and it was done in such a way so as to say "we know who it is but we don't really have proof."  Cameras were installed company wide about a month or so after this meeting, the drain pisser was nabbed and it stopped.  

5.) Guys #5 and #6 - they don't wash their hands and all the jokes, belittling, singling out, embarrassing remarks, etc. have failed.  Now it's to the point "oh, someone else is in the bathroom, I'll pretend to wash my hands."  I've stopped saying anything so neither of them wash their hands nor even "fake wash" their hands around me any more. By fake wash, I mean, I'm standing right there (a foot away) and I can see them turn the water on and turn it right off and walk away like "it's all good, amirite?" kind of a look.  

5.) Guy #7 - this guy, to me, is the worst.  It's like this guy has some kind of spray nozzle attached to his azzhole.  This guy, literally, sprays $hit onto the upper back most part of the toilet and I will be double damned if I understand how this is even humanly possible.  Seriously, I do not get it.  I mean, I see it, I do not know whom is responsible and I always smh and walk away from that stall but it makes my mind go into 10 minutes of trying to figure out how one does this.  It's like one of those giant cement guns spraying crap in a very specific, above the water line and to the upper most back part of the bowl.  Again, the human azzhole points straight down, how in God's name does someone get his azzhole to point there and spray crap like it'a some kind of azs uzi is beyond me.  It's so disgusting though, I'd like to stick his head in there while he explains it to me but then again, maybe I don't want to know.
Click to expand...
Wow.  You win.

 
Sullie said:
Wow, I thought it was just my company : 

1.) Guy #1 - he used to fall asleep on the toilet and snore loudly - he did this for about 6 months until he was let go.

2.) Guy #2 - he has some sort of issues going on, like a lot of issues.  But one of the more odd and annoying issues he has (and this is like a 50+ year old man) is that he will stand in the stall and RUN/ FULL SPRINT out of the restroom but only AFTER you have gone into the stall.  So he does his thing, buttons up and like a cat, waits for opportunity to exit like the bathroom is on fire.  Key points here, he does NOT wash his hands and yes he SPRINTS out of the bathroom and yes you will get knocked over if you are in his way.  There's A LOT of weird things this guy does, this is just one example.

3.) Guy #3 - we used to call this guy "beenie weenie" because he ate nothing but canned beans every single day, three times a day and he used to spray crap everywhere.  He also used to leave his dirty dishes in the sink.  He left the company on his own.

4.) Guy #4 - this guy died some years ago but he used to intentionally piss down the overflow drain in our old bathrooms before they were remodeled.  We had a "men's only" company meeting with the old president of the company.  He called the meeting and said "this has to stop, whomever is pissing down the drain you will cease immediately" and it was done in such a way so as to say "we know who it is but we don't really have proof."  Cameras were installed company wide about a month or so after this meeting, the drain pisser was nabbed and it stopped.  

5.) Guys #5 and #6 - they don't wash their hands and all the jokes, belittling, singling out, embarrassing remarks, etc. have failed.  Now it's to the point "oh, someone else is in the bathroom, I'll pretend to wash my hands."  I've stopped saying anything so neither of them wash their hands nor even "fake wash" their hands around me any more. By fake wash, I mean, I'm standing right there (a foot away) and I can see them turn the water on and turn it right off and walk away like "it's all good, amirite?" kind of a look.  

5.) Guy #7 - this guy, to me, is the worst.  It's like this guy has some kind of spray nozzle attached to his azzhole.  This guy, literally, sprays $hit onto the upper back most part of the toilet and I will be double damned if I understand how this is even humanly possible.  Seriously, I do not get it.  I mean, I see it, I do not know whom is responsible and I always smh and walk away from that stall but it makes my mind go into 10 minutes of trying to figure out how one does this.  It's like one of those giant cement guns spraying crap in a very specific, above the water line and to the upper most back part of the bowl.  Again, the human azzhole points straight down, how in God's name does someone get his azzhole to point there and spray crap like it'a some kind of azs uzi is beyond me.  It's so disgusting though, I'd like to stick his head in there while he explains it to me but then again, maybe I don't want to know.
Click to expand...
Excellent

 
Indian dudes #1-100 = Leave giant piles of pubes and puddles of piss around every urinal. Lucky wives these Indian dudes have.

 
Sullie said:
Wow, I thought it was just my company : 

1.) Guy #1 - he used to fall asleep on the toilet and snore loudly - he did this for about 6 months until he was let go.

2.) Guy #2 - he has some sort of issues going on, like a lot of issues.  But one of the more odd and annoying issues he has (and this is like a 50+ year old man) is that he will stand in the stall and RUN/ FULL SPRINT out of the restroom but only AFTER you have gone into the stall.  So he does his thing, buttons up and like a cat, waits for opportunity to exit like the bathroom is on fire.  Key points here, he does NOT wash his hands and yes he SPRINTS out of the bathroom and yes you will get knocked over if you are in his way.  There's A LOT of weird things this guy does, this is just one example.

3.) Guy #3 - we used to call this guy "beenie weenie" because he ate nothing but canned beans every single day, three times a day and he used to spray crap everywhere.  He also used to leave his dirty dishes in the sink.  He left the company on his own.

4.) Guy #4 - this guy died some years ago but he used to intentionally piss down the overflow drain in our old bathrooms before they were remodeled.  We had a "men's only" company meeting with the old president of the company.  He called the meeting and said "this has to stop, whomever is pissing down the drain you will cease immediately" and it was done in such a way so as to say "we know who it is but we don't really have proof."  Cameras were installed company wide about a month or so after this meeting, the drain pisser was nabbed and it stopped.  

5.) Guys #5 and #6 - they don't wash their hands and all the jokes, belittling, singling out, embarrassing remarks, etc. have failed.  Now it's to the point "oh, someone else is in the bathroom, I'll pretend to wash my hands."  I've stopped saying anything so neither of them wash their hands nor even "fake wash" their hands around me any more. By fake wash, I mean, I'm standing right there (a foot away) and I can see them turn the water on and turn it right off and walk away like "it's all good, amirite?" kind of a look.  

5.) Guy #7 - this guy, to me, is the worst.  It's like this guy has some kind of spray nozzle attached to his azzhole.  This guy, literally, sprays $hit onto the upper back most part of the toilet and I will be double damned if I understand how this is even humanly possible.  Seriously, I do not get it.  I mean, I see it, I do not know whom is responsible and I always smh and walk away from that stall but it makes my mind go into 10 minutes of trying to figure out how one does this.  It's like one of those giant cement guns spraying crap in a very specific, above the water line and to the upper most back part of the bowl.  Again, the human azzhole points straight down, how in God's name does someone get his azzhole to point there and spray crap like it'a some kind of azs uzi is beyond me.  It's so disgusting though, I'd like to stick his head in there while he explains it to me but then again, maybe I don't want to know.
Click to expand...
Guy 7 probably squats to ####, and isn't very good at it.

 
Don't Noonan said:
If I have to drop a duece at work I prefer to wait until nobody else is in the bathroom before I unload.   On the contrary, older guys in my offfice seem to have to no shame and walk right in and sit down and blast away without any embarrassment whatsoever.  
Click to expand...
Maybe they just don't have your sphincter control?

 
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