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About Getzlaf15

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  1. And from my counseling and books that I have read, will REPEAT the behaviors of both of you later in life even if they try hard not to. My 27 year old daughter is correcting a very small behavior issue that I have corrected, but did pass on to her. We were all able to see it, and quickly have her work on it.
  2. So cheating was not the issue with us. We each had vastly different behaviors passed down to us by ####ed up parents. My issues created a lack of trust on her part. I found out what they were, owned them, then fixed them. That's all YOU can do. It took several years. I was told to be very patient and let her figure out things on her own. She's still doing that, but things are dramatically better than they have ever been. We all have some issues to one degree or another. You have some. You are saying/doing many of the same things I did initially. I had to change my mind set that it was 100% about her. Took a freaking long time for me to get there.
  3. It can be done. I've done it. OP has to recognize and figure out what those are in his life and work hard on it. He's at the clueless stage we are all at in the beginning of the process. If he wants to stay with his wife, he has to giver her an incredible amount of space and time so that she can solely work on her issues and be very supportive. I was told it would take five years for my wife to come around. And she did.
  4. So you are saying right here that you don't want to be married. And when you tell her, you're essentially cheating, thus my original post. You're kids are going to repeat yours and your wife's shaming behaviors later on in their lives unless you get help now and break the pattern. The worst thing you can do for the kids is stay is a toxic relationship.
  5. So you're cheating on her now by doing this. This "for kids sake" is total BS. You really need your own counseling. The best thing you can do for the kids long term is to get out of this environment. She has a lot of issues and so do you. Until you fix your issues you are going to find the exact same woman.
  6. From the counseling and reading I went through five years ago, this is a given unless the behaviors are corrected.
  7. You really need to talk to a lawyer like yesterday to see what YOUR legal ramifications will be on this.
  8. Yep.... It's been rigged for a long time. Why not have Joe, Booker, Kaine, etc.. run from the beginning?