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proninja

Applebees

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So, I got stood up for a 5:00 appointment today at a terrible spot for traffic. I decided that I was going to wait out the worst part of the traffic with a combination of grain, water, yeast, and hops. Well, in the area I was in, anything but the little strip mall was 10 minutes away, despite the fact that I could see it. I won't go into details, just trust me.

Well, the two choices I had were "The Sideline" or a friendly neighborhood Applebees. While neither looked appealing, I figured I could get some shtick mileage out of the Applebees. Yes, I thought to myself "hey, this might be fun to share with my internet friends." Oof.

So anyway, I walk in the door. Seated to my left was a young gentleman who looked to weight about a buck thirty five, was wearing a wife beater, "shorts" down to his ankles, and the "I'm a badass" goatee. Solid. A good start to my fine dining experience.

I sit down, ready to order a beverage. I kept sitting. Still sitting. Did they forget to staff the bar today? Oh well, there was a sports page and it was better than traffic. Finally, the bartender shows up. Cute bartender. This is good. She brings me a beverage (Blue Moon for the beer :thumbup: crowd) and a menu. The menu was full of items that seemed to be extra descriptive. Like if they put a bunch of fancy words around "nachos" it will somehow become something better than nachos. "Santa Fe Rustic Delicious Super Fantabulous Nachochinos" or some crap. Another favorite of mine was "Buffalo Wings - your choice of spicy, honey, or bbq." Folks, a buffalo wing is a buffalo wing. A bbq wing is a totally different deal. Someone fix this please. Anyway, also on the happy hour menu was "Mini Bacon Cheeseburgers." I like burgers. I like cheese. I really like bacon. This is really hard to screw up, even if you're Crappelbees, right? Sign me up, cute bartender.

Service from this point was surprisingly quick. I got nervous, wondering if this was some freeze dried, add water and microwave thing. I don't know if that makes sense, but I'm a little leery at this point in time. Cute bartender asks me if I'd like mayo. I decline, and ask for mustard. She brings me french's yellow mustard, and I decide against asking if they have any real mustard and just try to soak in the entire cultural experience here.

I bite into the first burger.

I started to chew.

I waited for the subtle urge to vomit like the last time I went to Applebees.

It didn't happen.

My mini bacon cheeseburgerinos didn't completely suck. Now, they weren't awesome, but I wasn't expecting awesome. I was expecting near vomit inducing sludge masquerading as food. This was quite the pleasant surprise, it even inspired me to read the nascar section of the sports page in hommage to my fellow patrons.

All in all, I was impressed. They managed to serve me burger-king quality food along with a cold beer. It could have been a lot worse.

This has been Ninja Ramsey with Youtube Restaurant Reviews.

Until next time. Eat safe.

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The appetizers are the only thing I will eat there :moneybag:

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Had chicken strips there a few weeks ago and they seemed like they were microwaved product. Very soft and on the verge of being soggy. Refused to pay $8.99 for this crap when I could go to a fast food restaurant for better quality. Only thing good were the french fries, which actually tasted above average for a restaurant. I'll go back, but not by choice.

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Do they still have the deep fried pickles?

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Hi proninja,

:moneybag: You were making fun of my Blockbuster thread? Really?

No, really? Seriously, really?

AE

Really?

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Hi proninja, :moneybag: You were making fun of my Blockbuster thread? Really?No, really? Seriously, really?AE Really?

I actually admitted to laughing at that thread

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Hi proninja, :lmao: You were making fun of my Blockbuster thread? Really?No, really? Seriously, really?AE Really?

I actually admitted to laughing at that thread
There was some snarkiness with it.

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Hi proninja, :lmao: You were making fun of my Blockbuster thread? Really?No, really? Seriously, really?AE Really?

I actually admitted to laughing at that thread
There was some snarkiness with it.
I see we're in a sensitive mood tonight?

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Hi proninja, :lmao: You were making fun of my Blockbuster thread? Really?No, really? Seriously, really?AE Really?

I actually admitted to laughing at that thread
There was some snarkiness with it.
I see we're in a sensitive mood tonight?
Me or you?

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Hi proninja, :lmao: You were making fun of my Blockbuster thread? Really?No, really? Seriously, really?AE Really?

I actually admitted to laughing at that thread
There was some snarkiness with it.
I see we're in a sensitive mood tonight?
Me or you?
I'm not the one worried about "snarky"Of course I was snarky. New here?

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Hi proninja, :lmao: You were making fun of my Blockbuster thread? Really?No, really? Seriously, really?AE Really?

I actually admitted to laughing at that thread
There was some snarkiness with it.
I see we're in a sensitive mood tonight?
Me or you?
I'm not the one worried about "snarky"Of course I was snarky. New here?
Not worried GB, just sayin..

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Had chicken strips there a few weeks ago and they seemed like they were microwaved product.

Had a similar experience with that same product at Chili's.

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She brings me a beverage (Blue Moon for the beer :thumbdown: crowd)

Meh

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She brings me french's yellow mustard, and I decide against asking if they have any real mustard

:thumbdown:

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what a fraud. i was expecting an actual youtube video.

:potkettle:

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Got food poisoning last time I went to Applebees. They brought out silverware with large chunks of food on them and then the server got defensive when we pointed it out. Felt like crap for the next 2 days. Wife vomited, I almost did twice. Called them up and they said they'd "compensate" us and took down my address. Never received a thing in the mail, even though I highly doubt I would have used a gift card, but I thought maybe they'd refund the price of the meal. Never again will I eat at that place.

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1) with Youtube in the title, I was expecting video footage here or :towelwave: at the very least :potkettle:

2) didn't realize you were a mustard snob

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1) with Youtube in the title, I was expecting video footage here or :pics: at the very least :kicksrock:

2) didn't realize you were a mustard snob

My man can tell you where they quarried the stones they use to grind the mustard from a single sniff and you expect him to be happy with some Plochmann's yellow?

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The appetizers are the only thing I will eat there :kicksrock:

The appetizers and salads are pretty good. And it makes sense since those are the items that are the best when they're pre-packaged frozen and then made. IMO, they used to have better food. Now it's completely obvious that everything is just taken out of the freezer and then heated up.

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1) with Youtube in the title, I was expecting video footage here or :pics: at the very least :kicksrock:

2) didn't realize you were a mustard snob

My man can tell you where they quarried the stones they use to grind the mustard from a single sniff and you expect him to be happy with some Plochmann's yellow?
:pics: of course not... I wouldn't expect him to stoop to that level.

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She brings me a beverage (Blue Moon for the beer :confused: crowd)

Meh
Not because it's awesome. Because I'd want to know if I read it.

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Got food poisoning last time I went to Applebees. They brought out silverware with large chunks of food on them and then the server got defensive when we pointed it out. Felt like crap for the next 2 days. Wife vomited, I almost did twice. Called them up and they said they'd "compensate" us and took down my address. Never received a thing in the mail, even though I highly doubt I would have used a gift card, but I thought maybe they'd refund the price of the meal. Never again will I eat at that place.

Hey, waiter. I have a bit of a dirty fork...

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That new California chicken salad is actually really good.

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She brings me a beverage (Blue Moon for the beer :fishing: crowd)

Meh
I think blue moon is pretty damn solid

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She brings me a beverage (Blue Moon for the beer :thumbup: crowd)

Meh
I think blue moon is pretty damn solid
Meh, it's trendy at the moment.

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She brings me a beverage (Blue Moon for the beer :fishy: crowd)

Meh
I think blue moon is pretty damn solid
Meh, it's trendy at the moment.
trend changes taste now? :thumbup:

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She brings me a beverage (Blue Moon for the beer :fishy: crowd)

Meh
I think blue moon is pretty damn solid
Meh, it's trendy at the moment.
trend changes taste now? :thumbup:
Until something else more trendy comes along.

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She brings me a beverage (Blue Moon for the beer :thumbup: crowd)

Meh
I think blue moon is pretty damn solid
Meh, it's trendy at the moment.
Can't disagree, but for a fruity summer beer it holds up I think. I liked Leinie's Sunset Wheat a little better as well as White Ox, but Blue Moon with a relaxing dinner is pretty good.

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I bartended at an Applebee's for about a week. When they wanted me to wear a chain mail glove to cut fruit, I realized it wasn't really the place for me.

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I like French's yellow mustard. :lmao:

Pssh. You obviously haven't had real mustard. But naturally that's all you'll find at a landfill like Applebee's. I knew five people whose stomachs exploded one after another after eating there. They serve vomit and chickenbones and the droppings of mutant farm animals.

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I like French's yellow mustard. :excited:

Pssh. You obviously haven't had real mustard. But naturally that's all you'll find at a landfill like Applebee's. I knew five people whose stomachs exploded one after another after eating there. They serve vomit and chickenbones and the droppings of mutant farm animals.
What is "real" mustard, anyway? And why is there always a "real" version to everything we get at a standard grocery store or a restaurant? Real ketchup, real beer, real food, etc. It's as if there's a whole line of food that tastes like Jesus prepared it himself that everyone here talks about, but can't get at the neighborhood store or chain restaurant.

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I like French's yellow mustard. :excited:

Pssh. You obviously haven't had real mustard. But naturally that's all you'll find at a landfill like Applebee's. I knew five people whose stomachs exploded one after another after eating there. They serve vomit and chickenbones and the droppings of mutant farm animals.
What is "real" mustard, anyway? And why is there always a "real" version to everything we get at a standard grocery store or a restaurant? Real ketchup, real beer, real food, etc. It's as if there's a whole line of food that tastes like Jesus prepared it himself that everyone here talks about, but can't get at the neighborhood store or chain restaurant.
You probably drink an Australian wine at $30 a bottle. Don't you realize that most FBG's brush their teeth with Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1982 at $500 dollars a pop? When they go to Applebees, they are outraged there is no caviar.

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She brings me a beverage (Blue Moon for the beer :excited: crowd)

Meh
I think blue moon is pretty damn solid
It is okay but nothing to impress us beer :fishy:

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She brings me a beverage (Blue Moon for the beer :popcorn: crowd)

Meh
I think blue moon is pretty damn solid
It is okay but nothing to impress us beer :nerd:
It wasn't meant to impress. Trust me.

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