2006 Shark Pool All-Pro Roster (1 Viewer)

[H.K.]

After spending minutes of pouring over game tapes and threads, here is my squad:

OFFENSE

Wide Receivers

LHUCKS - Love the confidence and craves the spotlight. He's my T.O., never wrong & never his fault, and certainly won't miss a chance to tell you how good he is.

JAA - see LHUCKS

H.K. - It's my team, dammit, so I'm putting myself on it. Similar to Randy Moss, I usually give a mediocre effort and have a brooding, sulky attitude. Some flashes of potential, but never sustained.

Running Backs

BassNBrew - Shifty and elusive, but he brings it.

TommyGunz - He's got to be the lead blocker for BassNBrew, simply to hear Bass chew him out for blowing assignments....too much entertainment value here to not pair these two guys in the same backfield.

Quarterback

Gr00vus - Can you think of anyone else with the patience to put up with the egotistical WR's on this team constantly jawing in his ear about getting them the ball?

Tight End

Bri - Bavarro-like. Man of few words, but to the point.

Center:

Construxboy - He's sharp, so I trust him to make the right calls at the line. Also, I would guess the thought of another man's hands on his bottom would not make him comfortable, so we'll run the shot gun.

Guards

Wheelhouse & Roarin' Sonoran - They teamed well on the playoff contest, and its a selfless act for the good of the board, so these guys are good OL material.

Tackles

Banger & Andy Dufresne - Unheralded and steady, you know they'll pave the way.

DEFENSE

Defensive Ends

Capella & bostonfred - Can you think of two better guys to wreak havoc coming off the corner? Me neither.

Nose Tackle

Crosseyed - Had to be somewhere, so I put him in the middle of things.

Defensive Tackle

John Madden's Lunchbox - Just plain scary.

Linebackers

Evilgrin 72, Nightshift, Ahrncity Pounder, & Godsbrother - When I think of hardnosed football, I think Steelers. Evilgrin will be captain, so he's responsible scheduling the weekly drinking extravaganzas required to build team unity. Perfect choice.

Safeties

Redman & Big Score - They won't pass up on a chance to rip an unprotected WR's head off, so I like this choice.

Cornerbacks

Jurb26 & Dickey Moe - Nothing gets by them.

SPECIAL TEAMS

Kicker

otis - The guy loves to score and thrives on pressure, so he's a natural at this position.

Punter

djcolts - Gotta be on the team, so this is his spot.

Kick Returner

Ministry of Pain - Gotta have a screw loose to do this job, and he strikes me as the type of guy who would run through a brick wall without needing a reason.

Wedgebuster

Musesboy - Despite the bunny avatar, I get the impression he'll give 110% in any role.

Long Snapper

Ghost Rider - Won't have to do a whole lot, but he'll get a pay check. Should be right up his alley.

Holder

Despyzer - will help shag djcolt's punts in practice, too

Staff

General Manager - General Malaise - The initials fit, we'll go with him

Offensive Coordinator - Couch Potato - I guess we'll need to get him a Madden Cruiser so he can stay on his couch when he travels to games, and then carry him on his couch to the sidelines, but it will be worth it.

Defensive Coordinator - diesel7982 - Have fun getting Capella to play in a team concept!

Special Teams - Liquid Tension - Irony defined - the team loses when a holder botches a snap.

Talent Scout - Bicycle seat sniffer - Should have the nose for the job...

Public Relations - pizzatime (Chaos Commish: appointed 1/11/07 - resigned 1/11/07 and is currently being reviewed for entry into the Ring of Honor for a lifetime of service)

There you go, your 2006 All-Pros! Congrats to those who made it.

 

[beto]

I heard the footballguy's staff beat these guys 52-3 in a closed to the public scrimmage.

 

[Banger]

my $10 is in the mail...

 

[H.K.]

I heard the footballguy's staff beat these guys 52-3 in a closed to the public scrimmage.

True, but what wasn't reported was that the starters for my team only played two series.Musesboy leveled Shick! on the kickoff. On the following offensive play, Nightshift blitzed Levin and broke his collarbone. Then jurb picked off Chase. My guys were about to take it in for six points on offense, but otis ran on the field and kicked the FG before anyone knew what was going on. Apparently, otis was dying to get on the board....said something about getting out of his slump.After that, we rested our starters and let a local Pop Warner team play the rest of the scrimmage. Tried to let the staffers build up their confidence.

 

[diesel7982]

This team needs a coach.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

This is too good. By the way, with that LB corps, no one, and I mean NO ONE would be able to move the ball on us.

 

[Sigmund Bloom]

Linebackers

Evilgrin 72, Nightshift, Ahrncity Pounder, & Godsbrother - When I think of hardnosed football, I think Steelers. Evilgrin will be captain, so he's responsible scheduling the weekly drinking extravaganzas required to build team unity. Perfect choice.

Jack Lambert and Jack Ham would be proud.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

Linebackers

Evilgrin 72, Nightshift, Ahrncity Pounder, & Godsbrother - When I think of hardnosed football, I think Steelers. Evilgrin will be captain, so he's responsible scheduling the weekly drinking extravaganzas required to build team unity. Perfect choice.

Jack Lambert and Jack Ham would be proud.

I'm getting three wisdom teeth out next week, I could always ask them to pluck a couple of incisors too, to get that Lambert look going.

 

[jurb26]

Linebackers

Evilgrin 72, Nightshift, Ahrncity Pounder, & Godsbrother - When I think of hardnosed football, I think Steelers. Evilgrin will be captain, so he's responsible scheduling the weekly drinking extravaganzas required to build team unity. Perfect choice.

Jack Lambert and Jack Ham would be proud.

Great to see so many Steelers on the D! All is right in the FBG world.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

Linebackers

Evilgrin 72, Nightshift, Ahrncity Pounder, & Godsbrother - When I think of hardnosed football, I think Steelers. Evilgrin will be captain, so he's responsible scheduling the weekly drinking extravaganzas required to build team unity. Perfect choice.

Jack Lambert and Jack Ham would be proud.

Great to see so many Steelers on the D! All is right in the FBG world.

Yeah - I count 6 starters - that sounds about right.

 

[Otis]

IT'S GOOD

 

[Evilgrin 72]

IT'S GOOD

It had better be. One miss, and you're getting shoved into your locker.

 

[Cowboys#1]

this is seriously flawed.. i put the O/U on this team at 3.5

 

[H.K.]

This team needs a coach.

Good point.OK, you raised you hand, so in my book, that means you just volunteered. You run the defense. BTW, this teams needs a ton of coaches, particularly to chase down all these clowns missing bed check on game night. (that's the problem with having otis and evilgrin on the same squad, gotta take the good with the bad, I guess)Liquid Tension says he's smarter than Parcells and has the formulas to prove it, but I'm not sure I buy it all or not, so I'll put him in charge of Special Teams, for now.Still need an OC......maybe Couch Potato? Yep, he'd be perfect.Any other nominees?

 

[Ghost Rider]

Given his penchant for breaking things down to a 'T'...I think SSOG would be a tremendous head coach.

 

[H.K.]

Given his penchant for breaking things down to a 'T'...I think SSOG would be a tremendous head coach.

No way, he would confuse my RB's with his Shanny tactics....besides BnB & TGunz are confused enough already.BTW Ghost Rider, grab a helmet, you're on, too. This team needs a Long Snapper**(calm down, otis, its a football term in this case)

 

[Ghost Rider]

As long as Tony Romo isn't the holder, fine by me.

 

[Gr00vus]

What an honor!

I promise to get the ball to Bri, ahem, I mean Gates at all costs.

Does this mean I get to date Jessica Simpson - or at least be rumored to be doing so?

 

[Evilgrin 72]

This team needs a coach.

Good point.OK, you raised you hand, so in my book, that means you just volunteered. You run the defense. BTW, this teams needs a ton of coaches, particularly to chase down all these clowns missing bed check on game night. (that's the problem with having otis and evilgrin on the same squad, gotta take the good with the bad, I guess)Liquid Tension says he's smarter than Parcells and has the formulas to prove it, but I'm not sure I buy it all or not, so I'll put him in charge of Special Teams, for now.Still need an OC......maybe Couch Potato? Yep, he'd be perfect.Any other nominees?

Don't worry, Otis and I promise to be in our hotel rooms by 9:00.AM.

 

[Gr00vus]

Don't we need a GM, scout staff and an owner?

Forget that, don't we need a cheerleading squad and a party boat?

 

[H.K.]

Don't we need a GM, scout staff and an owner?Forget that, don't we need a cheerleading squad and a party boat?

Hmmmm. How about bicycle seat sniffer for scouting, and I guess the GM should be, um, GM?crap, more editing to do....

 

[Pip's Invitation]

GM = Chaos Commish

Director of Player Personnel = Sigmund Bloom

Director of Scouting = Colin Dowling

Read the mock draft threads for evidence.

 

[Banger]

GM = Chaos CommishDirector of Player Personnel = Sigmund BloomDirector of Scouting = Colin DowlingRead the mock draft threads for evidence.

 

[H.K.]

GM = Chaos CommishDirector of Player Personnel = Sigmund BloomDirector of Scouting = Colin DowlingRead the mock draft threads for evidence.

Staff are not eligible. Chaos Commish is a good one, but GM is filled.Where can we use his talents?

 

[Gr00vus]

GM = Chaos CommishDirector of Player Personnel = Sigmund BloomDirector of Scouting = Colin DowlingRead the mock draft threads for evidence.

Staff are not eligible. Chaos Commish is a good one, but GM is filled.Where can we use his talents?

Uh, commissioner? Even a two team league needs one.Also what about announcers and PR?

 

[H.K.]

GM = Chaos CommishDirector of Player Personnel = Sigmund BloomDirector of Scouting = Colin DowlingRead the mock draft threads for evidence.

Staff are not eligible. Chaos Commish is a good one, but GM is filled.Where can we use his talents?

Uh, commissioner? Even a two team league needs one.Also what about announcers and PR?

The Shark Pool squad hates authority, especially commissioners, we don't want any of those types on our team.Chaos Commish can be our PR guy, tho.I'm also adding Despyzer as a holder.

 

[Despyzer]

Special Teams - Liquid Tension - Irony defined - the team loses when a holder botches a snap.

What are you insinuating?

 

[Musesboy]

Wedgebuster

Musesboy - Despite the bunny avatar, I get the impression he'll give 110% in any role.

Think Monty Python's Holy Grail. I'm a vicious bunny

 

[renesauz]

 

[Chaos Commish]

Public Relations - Chaos Commish - Let him deal with all the headaches this team causes with the media

Dear General Malaise,I am writing to you today to officially tender my resignation as Public Relations Manager for the FBG All Pro Team effective immediately.

I never thought I would ever leave such a great team, but when the opportunity arose to move on to greener pastures, which as you know has always been a lifelong dream for me, I simply had to take advantage of it.

I cannot say enough wonderful things about the team, about all the people I’ve encountered in my years of association, and especially about you and all the others on the management team. Your leadership has taken us all to new levels, and I have appreciated all your personal and professional advice over the years. It’s my hope that we will stay in touch as I begin this new chapter in my life.

If you have any questions, please ask. Thanks again for everything.

Sincerely,

Chaos Commish

 

[My_Favorite_Team_is]

While I am just a fan of this team, I believe that my imput is still valuable. With that said, I nominate BUSTED KNUCKLES to be the team's cheerleading talent scout and HR manager. For complete review of his resume please see his avatar.

TIA

 

[Gr00vus]

I nominate BUSTED KNUCKLES to be the team's cheerleading talent scout and HR manager. For complete review of his resume please see his avatar.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but who stuffed two punch balls into that woman's tube top?

 

[Biabreakable]

Your all FIRED!!!

 

[LHUCKS]

I'd rather be Chad Johnson of the Pac10...and you're right, I'd have no problem #####ing out Groovus if he didn't give me the damn ball. Coincidentally I played some WR in high school.

Well done.

 

[Marc Levin]

This thread is an instant classic.

To be honest, I think you all would give us a good game (but only if you take out Dr. D's knees and you'll have a lot of trouble moving the ball with cracKer and Rudnicki filling the gaps and rushing the passer)

 

[Phlash]

I like, H.K., very nice, sexy time yes

 

[H.K.]

Public Relations - Chaos Commish - Let him deal with all the headaches this team causes with the media

Dear General Malaise,I am writing to you today to officially tender my resignation as Public Relations Manager for the FBG All Pro Team effective immediately.

I never thought I would ever leave such a great team, but when the opportunity arose to move on to greener pastures, which as you know has always been a lifelong dream for me, I simply had to take advantage of it.

I cannot say enough wonderful things about the team, about all the people I’ve encountered in my years of association, and especially about you and all the others on the management team. Your leadership has taken us all to new levels, and I have appreciated all your personal and professional advice over the years. It’s my hope that we will stay in touch as I begin this new chapter in my life.

If you have any questions, please ask. Thanks again for everything.

Sincerely,

Chaos Commish

:( Well, Chaos lasted 7 hours, that's a new team record for the PR gig.

We'll keep the position vacant until member numbers hit the 30k mark, then dump the job off on some noob.

 

[Mungo Burrows]

Wedgebuster

Musesboy - Despite the bunny avatar, I get the impression he'll give 110% in any role.

Think Monty Python's Holy Grail. I'm a vicious bunny

Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!

 

[H.K.]

Wedgebuster

Musesboy - Despite the bunny avatar, I get the impression he'll give 110% in any role.

Think Monty Python's Holy Grail. I'm a vicious bunny

Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!

Sharp, pointy teeth! Look at the bones!Seriously, that rabit had a major vertical leap....

 

[Musesboy]

Wedgebuster

Musesboy - Despite the bunny avatar, I get the impression he'll give 110% in any role.

Think Monty Python's Holy Grail. I'm a vicious bunny

Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!

Sharp, pointy teeth! Look at the bones!Seriously, that rabit had a major vertical leap....

There is probably a 15 yard penalty for ripping out somebody's throat?

 

[nightshift]

This is too good. By the way, with that LB corps, no one, and I mean NO ONE would be able to move the ball on us.

Amen to the 3-4 D... I'd say they'd be on the wrong end of a QB Smackdown!

 

[Evilgrin 72]

This is too good. By the way, with that LB corps, no one, and I mean NO ONE would be able to move the ball on us.

Amen to the 3-4 D... I'd say they'd be on the wrong end of a QB Smackdown!

You an inside guy, or do you want to play the edge?

 

[H.K.]

There is probably a 15 yard penalty for ripping out somebody's throat?

As far as I know, there is nothing in the rule book that says you can't gnaw on someone's jugular when making a tackle....besides, you don't worry about the consequences, just go out there and hurt people! We'll clean up the mess later.Crap, this reminds me, we still need a PR guy.... Saddam Hussein's Information Minister guy got killed didn't he? If he's alive, he'd be perfect.

 

[nightshift]

This is too good. By the way, with that LB corps, no one, and I mean NO ONE would be able to move the ball on us.

Amen to the 3-4 D... I'd say they'd be on the wrong end of a QB Smackdown!

You an inside guy, or do you want to play the edge?

Inside the trenches with all the girls... gotta to give the opposin' QB an Iron City welcome hug & leave my mark! "On the following offensive play, Nightshift blitzed Levin and broke his collarbone."

Welcome to Blitzburgh! UMPC Shadyside is right up the hill. Don't be late.

EG, if you had to choose only 4 Steelers LBs (nevermind which year), who are these bad men?

 

[Big Score]

Any of the staff WR's coming in front of redman or me, won't be needing their heads ripped off.

Once they hear our footsteps coming, they'll be doing the Pinkston alligator arm duck & cover routine.

 

[Gr00vus]

There is probably a 15 yard penalty for ripping out somebody's throat?

As far as I know, there is nothing in the rule book that says you can't gnaw on someone's jugular when making a tackle....besides, you don't worry about the consequences, just go out there and hurt people! We'll clean up the mess later.Crap, this reminds me, we still need a PR guy.... Saddam Hussein's Information Minister guy got killed didn't he? If he's alive, he'd be perfect.

How about Phlash? Always liked his avatar, and he does a good Borat. Who better to work for our information ministry?Great Success!

 

[Gr00vus]

I'd have no problem #####ing out Groovus if he didn't give me the damn ball. Coincidentally I played some WR in high school.

This aint high school or the PAC 10 - no gold teeth no targets boyeeeeeeee!

 

[Couch Potato]

Offensive Coordinator - Couch Potato - I guess we'll need to get him a Madden Cruiser so he can stay on his couch when he travels to games, and then carry him on his couch to the sidelines, but it will be worth it.

Wow, that sounds great! With all that sitting around I'll be as big as Madden in no time too. I finally opened this thread a day after it was posted, and it wasn't at all what I expected. I thought it was going to be some sort of consensus thread on what NFL players s/b All-Pro. I am deeply honored to make the team.

As Offensive Coordinator, does this mean I get to coordinate the offensive comments coming from the players and staff? I do want this job.

 

[pizzatyme]

H.K. for all your crap posts, this one is actually of value! Nice work!!!!

 

[Sigmund Bloom]

After that, we rested our starters and let a local Pop Warner team play the rest of the scrimmage. Tried to let the staffers build up their confidence.

I knew it was weird when you guys were drinking juice boxes instead of gatorade on the sidelines.