Age Differential With Friends....... (1 Viewer)

[Chemical X]

so, without kids, myself and my wife are a young 50 or so.  we travel a lot and not all of our conversations center around our kids or grandkids.  this has left us short of friends, we have a hard time finding people that share our interests, not that we really care.  we’re happy doing our thing.

that said, we adopted a new beagle about 3 years ago.  he was being fostered by a really nice younger couple.  when we travel, they have been nice enough to watch our dog and we usually bring them wine, food, a gift card, etc.  we’ve gotten to talking and they are foodies that really enjoy food and wine, similar to myself and mrs. x.  we recommended a local restaurant to them and they have gone several times.  we talked about getting together and going together, which we did yesterday.  it was a great time, conversation was easy, except for one issue.  they were talking about how the wife’s mother wants to move closer to them and they guess it would be great.  i asked how old the mother was, if she needed help to get around.  the wife said she is in good shape, she was born in 1965.  i was born in 1966.  i cant really explain how i felt at that moment, but the wife said she was 27.....if i had kids at 26, she could be my daughter.  i wouldn’t call us friends, since this was the first time we’ve ever been out together, but i don’t know if i can be friends with a 27 year old couple.  is it weird for them knowing we are their parents age?  ugh, i don’t often feel old, but she crushed my soul with the 1965 comment.

i figure this thread will have piles of shtick, but has anyone ever been close to this situation?

 

[NotSmart]

I'd say the best thing is to probably have a threesome with her mom.

 

[Ron Swanson]

My wife and I mirror your scenario except we are a bit younger at 45. We have many friends who are late twenties and early thirties.  No big deal.

 

[Terminalxylem]

I’m 47, and have several friends in their 20s whom I met rock climbing. I like them because they’re far more motivated than my contemporaries and not b!tchin and moaning about aches and pains like many older people. I don’t think it’s a big deal at all, but I sometimes have to remind myself not to use age as an excuse, pointing out how much more difficult it is to progress at my age.

 

[whoknew]

My wife and I mirror your scenario except we are a bit younger at 45. We have many friends who are late twenties and early thirties.  No big deal.

I'm not married but the same. Anyone with kids - their weekends are spent doing kid stuff. So it just turns out that people who want to/can do fun stuff are younger. Not a huge deal.

 

[Tom Servo]

so, without kids, myself and my wife are a young 50 or so.  we travel a lot and not all of our conversations center around our kids or grandkids.  this has left us short of friends, we have a hard time finding people that share our interests, not that we really care.  we’re happy doing our thing.

that said, we adopted a new beagle about 3 years ago.  he was being fostered by a really nice younger couple.  when we travel, they have been nice enough to watch our dog and we usually bring them wine, food, a gift card, etc.  we’ve gotten to talking and they are foodies that really enjoy food and wine, similar to myself and mrs. x.  we recommended a local restaurant to them and they have gone several times.  we talked about getting together and going together, which we did yesterday.  it was a great time, conversation was easy, except for one issue.  they were talking about how the wife’s mother wants to move closer to them and they guess it would be great.  i asked how old the mother was, if she needed help to get around.  the wife said she is in good shape, she was born in 1965.  i was born in 1966.  i cant really explain how i felt at that moment, but the wife said she was 27.....if i had kids at 26, she could be my daughter.  i wouldn’t call us friends, since this was the first time we’ve ever been out together, but i don’t know if i can be friends with a 27 year old couple.  is it weird for them knowing we are their parents age?  ugh, i don’t often feel old, but she crushed my soul with the 1965 comment.

i figure this thread will have piles of shtick, but has anyone ever been close to this situation?

If you and Mrs. X enjoy their company and the four of you have a good time together, why not?  Maybe they'll feel confident discussing things with you that they're experiencing and you can see the world through a different set of eyes.

 

[Wrigley]

Friendship has no age 

 

[Punxsutawney Phil]

I

not all of our conversations center around our kids or grandkids. 

I have friends without kids.  I would assume the older the kids get the less your life centers around them.  

 

[Gary Coal Man]

I’m forty-four and I’ll sometimes hang with a guy who’s in his late sixties.  Hell, he may be early seventies.  I don’t know for sure because I never asked.

Anyway, he’s just a fascinating, funny guy who likes to talk about things that I find interesting.  We go hit trivia nights together, get together to watch a football game, or I go check out his early 60s era music cover band.  

Doesn’t matter to me that he’s more my dad’s age.  

 

[MTskibum]

I am 37 and my long time fishing buddy who passed away early this year was 64. It was not weird.

His daughter was a year younger than me.

 

[Ned]

I’m forty-four and I’ll sometimes hang with a guy who’s in his late sixties.  Hell, he may be early seventies.  I don’t know for sure because I never asked.

Anyway, he’s just a fascinating, funny guy who likes to talk about things that I find interesting.  We go hit trivia nights together, get together to watch a football game, or I go check out his early 60s era music cover band.  

Doesn’t matter to me that he’s more my dad’s age.  

One of my best friends was an older guy I knew from when I was 15.  He was originally friends with my dad; we all shot archery and deer hunted together.  When my dad passed in 2001, we kept the archery and deer hunting thing going.  We grew closer over the years to where I considered him one of my best friends.  The age gap came up at times since the gap was 25yrs and we did outdoors stuff, but it was never weird.

He passed away 2yrs ago and it gutted me.  Still miss that nutty SOB.  

 

[Galileo]

Is the 27 yr old named Stacy?

 

[Man of Constant Sorrow]

When I was in my 20's, I played volleyball 4 nights per week. The "relaxing" night was on a team with a guy my pop's age. I did not know the guy before then, but we became great friends. His wife was superactive too (triathlons), so we often got together for physically active things. No complaints.

Now that I am 50/51, one of my best local friends is in his 20's. Being single with no kids, I am not the typical 50 yo in things like this, but I say ... go for it.

 

[Ned]

When I was in my 20's, I played volleyball 4 nights per week. The "relaxing" night was on a team with a guy my pop's age. I did not know the guy before then, but we became great friends. His wife was superactive too (triathlons), so we often got together for physically active things. No complaints.

Now that I am 50/51, one of my best local friends is in his 20's. Being single with no kids, I am not the typical 50 yo in things like this, but I say ... go for it.

Go on...

 

[Man of Constant Sorrow]

Go on...

To be perfectly honest - they would have been dtf. 

Maybe ...

I was too innocent for their type in my 20's. 

 

[Godsbrother]

I am 60 and play in a 35+ softball league that I've been playing in since I was 33 (I lied about my age to get into the league).   All of my friends that were in the league when I started have quit so here I am playing with guys that are as much as 25 years younger than me.    Playing is still fun but it is a little strange being the old guy when we're having a beer after the game.

Of my regular group of friends most are within 4 years of my age, the oldest is 68.

 

[NutterButter]

Whats this thing called friends thst you speak of?

 

[5-ish Finkle]

My wife and I mirror your scenario except we are a bit younger at 45. We have many friends who are late twenties and early thirties.  No big deal.

I’m 47, and have several friends in their 20s whom I met rock climbing. I like them because they’re far more motivated than my contemporaries and not b!tchin and moaning about aches and pains like many older people. I don’t think it’s a big deal at all, but I sometimes have to remind myself not to use age as an excuse, pointing out how much more difficult it is to progress at my age.

I'm not married but the same. Anyone with kids - their weekends are spent doing kid stuff. So it just turns out that people who want to/can do fun stuff are younger. Not a huge deal.

Friendship has no age 

All of these.

Wife and I are in our forties, no kids, and generally don't focus on /care about a lot the stuff our "contemporary" friends tend to gravitate toward over the last 10 years or so.  We have wound up making more younger friends kind of by accident (for my industry I'm probably looked at as "old" but I'm surrounded by like minded younger people at work by default.  Plus, we have moved all over the last 4 years so you're kind of forced to make connections where you can, etc), and I've never felt that odd about it. 

My bride had a similar scenario to the OP about  a week ago (found out she's the age of a co-workers mother....albeit the mom was QUITE young when she gave birth), but the younger friend is the one who was weirded out about it when she realized.

I’m forty-four and I’ll sometimes hang with a guy who’s in his late sixties.  Hell, he may be early seventies.  I don’t know for sure because I never asked.

One of my favorite people in the world is my older cousin, Mike.  I know he's at least 20 years older than I am, maybe a bit more.   If I knew I only had a few days left to spend on this dirt ball he'd be on the short list of people I'd be hanging out with.  Possibly over just about anyone else.

 

[Acrobat7]

Friendship has no age 

This. I am 40 and my friends range from 25 to 55. 

 

[Andy Dufresne]

1) My two closest friends are 76 and 30.

2) If you were born in 1966, you're 53. Not 50-ish. Own it, guy.

 

[-OZ-]

With adults there's really 3 groups

No kids

Kids

Grandparents who are basically parents

 

[CGRdrJoe]

age is just a number gb, I have guys that I consider to be friends who are 18 (I'm 43) and I have a few that are getting close to 70. Granted being in the military exposes me more to some of these people and truth be told had I not been stationed on a boat I probably wouldn't be friends with the younger group but I am and it's all good.

 

[Bull Dozier]

Not a big deal.  When our oldest started school, we became friends with many of the parents there.  There were some older couples who had their youngest kids in school, so they were 15-20 years older than us.  By the time our youngest graduated that school (k-8 school), we started feeling like the older parents around and were friends with some younger couples.

It's a different dynamic when the other couple is much older or younger, but it certainly isn't prohibitive to friendship when you have other things in common.

The only time it didn't work was when we were friends with a slighter older than us couple, and they insisted on being parent coaches to us, constantly telling us how to do things because they had been through it before.  Advice is OK sometimes, but with them it was constant so we stopped that friendship.  Otherwise, who cares.

 

[Workhorse]

I'm turning 47 later this year and one of my closest friends just turned 64. We see a lot of concerts together.

 

[Terminalxylem]

With adults there's really 3 groups

No kids

Kids

Grandparents who are basically parents

Unfortunately this is true. As a member of the no kids clan, I find it harder and harder to do stuff with my friends with offspring. They're too busy doing parent stuff.

 

[Hawks64]

My wife and I mirror your scenario except we are a bit younger at 45. We have many friends who are late twenties and early thirties.  No big deal.

Same with us, I'd say 90% of our friends are in their later twenties or early 30s.

 

[trogg78]

Jennifer Aniston is 9 years older than me.

 

[Zegras11]

All my friends are chodes.  

 

[hagmania]

You guys are all like half a generation older than me and most of you are pretty cool.

 

[IC FBGCav]

so, without kids, myself and my wife are a young 50 or so.  we travel a lot and not all of our conversations center around our kids or grandkids.  this has left us short of friends, we have a hard time finding people that share our interests, not that we really care.  we’re happy doing our thing.

that said, we adopted a new beagle about 3 years ago.  he was being fostered by a really nice younger couple.  when we travel, they have been nice enough to watch our dog and we usually bring them wine, food, a gift card, etc.  we’ve gotten to talking and they are foodies that really enjoy food and wine, similar to myself and mrs. x.  we recommended a local restaurant to them and they have gone several times.  we talked about getting together and going together, which we did yesterday.  it was a great time, conversation was easy, except for one issue.  they were talking about how the wife’s mother wants to move closer to them and they guess it would be great.  i asked how old the mother was, if she needed help to get around.  the wife said she is in good shape, she was born in 1965.  i was born in 1966.  i cant really explain how i felt at that moment, but the wife said she was 27.....if i had kids at 26, she could be my daughter.  i wouldn’t call us friends, since this was the first time we’ve ever been out together, but i don’t know if i can be friends with a 27 year old couple.  is it weird for them knowing we are their parents age?  ugh, i don’t often feel old, but she crushed my soul with the 1965 comment.

i figure this thread will have piles of shtick, but has anyone ever been close to this situation?

Just look at then like they are your kids.

 

[Chemical X]

Just look at then like they are your kids.

There's a reason I didn't have kids.

 

[IC FBGCav]

There's a reason I didn't have kids.

I know but they are not like you, you hand picked these 2 and like them.

 

[Chemical X]

I know but they are not like you, you hand picked these 2 and like them.

Man, can you imagine being able to hand pick kids after 18?  Guess that's called adoption....

 

[need2know]

My wife and I hang out with a much older couple every once in awhile.  We are 38.  They are in their 70s.  They are cool as hell.  Age is no issue.

 

[[icon]]

We are a young 40 and 42, No kids so our friends trend a bit younger (30s mostly), but also hang with older friends (50s and 60s) as well.  No biggie. 

 

[grateful zed]

im playing guitars with a guy who just turned 80 today.

dating a girl who is 26.

my friends 5 year old has a crush on me and jumps into my lap on sight.

most of my hang out friends are 30-40.

im 55, and loving life.

 

[nirad3]

At the dive bar I hang out at, there are folks in their early-mid 20's on up to their late 60's.  I consider myself friendly with all.  I just turned 46 last week.