Well, here we go for gits and shiggles!
Round 1
1. Cleveland Browns - Myles Garrett
Still the only selection they can make.
2. San Francisco 49ers - Solomon Thomas
They want to move out, but it's too expensive to move to the #2 spot, and besides...the 49ers need some players for the 4-3.
3. Cleveland from Chicago Bears - Mitchell Trubisky
1.3 = 2200
1.12 = 1200, 2.33 = 580, 2.52 = 380 == 2160
Last year, the Eagles gave the Browns their No. 8 pick, a 2017 first-rounder and a 2018 second-rounder to move up to #2.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars - O.J. Howard
Really tough choice here between Howard/Fournette/Allen but the good news is they can't be faulted for taking any of the three. Signing Church really took Adams out of consideration.
5. Buffalo Bills (from Tennessee Titans (from Los Angeles Rams)) - Deshaun Watson
1.5 & 4th = 1.10 & 2.39
Taylor's restructured contract is pretty team-friendly, they really seem to want to add a QB, and this sticks it to the Jets.
6. New York Jets - Jamal Adams
Calvin Pryor is a bust and even though Lattimore is tempting, there are several good CBs that can be had later. Not that it matters without a QB.
7. Los Angeles Chargers - Corey Davis
Safety is the common pick but there are guys to be had later. Davis would be "the man" if Allen continues to be injured but would make an even better 1/2 punch if he doesn't. And Benjamin would make for mismatches as the #3.
8. Carolina Panthers - Derek Barnett
Is Fournette a sexy pick here? Sure. But Stewart still isn't awful and if they're bringing back Peppers, the DE situation is dire. Easier finding runners than rushers.
9. Cincinnati Bengals - Leonard Fournette
Here, the opposite is true from Carolina. Sure they need pass rushers, but Bernard is a complimentary back, Hill is just average. And most importantly Andy Dalton is not Cam Newton.
10. Tennesse Titans from Buffalo Bills - Marshon Lattimore
They trade back and still get the guy they would have taken at #5. The Titans sure know what they're doing, I tell you!
11. Arizona Cardinals (from New Orleans Saints for a 1st and a 4th-ish) - Patrick Mahomes
Fearing that the Bears will snipe Mahomes, the Cardinals give up very little to leapfrog. Mahomes completes his "This year's Carson Wentz" story.
12. Chicago Bears (from Cleveland Browns (from Philadelphia Eagles)) - Gareon Conley
And the Bears are left to wonder "what the heck just happened?" They added Marcus Cooper - which is no addition at all. And what in the world happened to Kyle Fuller?
13. New Orleans (from Arizona Cardinals) - Taco Charlton
Edge rusher or corner? Charlton is a bigger end and brings more to the table than someone like Takkarist McKinley who is also a consideration here.
14. Philadelphia Eagles (from Minnesota Vikings) - Christian McCaffery
Fantasy footballers get their wish and Eagles fans fondly remember Brian Westbrook.
15. Indianapolis Colts - Rueben Foster
Like Paul Simon sang "Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?" Well, the Colts luck out here and six-pack the middle of their defense more than a little.
16. Detroit Lions (from Baltimore Ravens for a 1st and a 3rd-ish) - Haason Reddick
Lions want to get faster on defense and, whoa daddy is this it. They need to jump ahead of the Redskins to make this happen.
17. Washington Redskins - Jonathan Allen
Did they just get lucky or did they draft a guy with bad shoulders. Don't underestimate how skittish front offices get when injuries are involved.
18. Tennessee Titans - Mike Williams
The nice double-shot predicted by pundits comes true. He's not an elite athlete but he'll be the bully this offense needs.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Dalvin Cook
Where there's smoke, there's fire. And this scuttlebut is roasting. Doug Martin? More like DONE Martin, amirite!?
20. Atlanta (From Denver Broncos) - Malik Hooker
2017 1st, 2018 2nd
Falcons are looking for a 1/2 punch to team up with Keanu Neal and they really find it here. Again, injuries make for a mini-fall but Atlanta's defense would be really bolstered by this move.
21. Baltimore Ravens - Cam Robinson
Ozzie loves his 'Bama connection and losing Rick Wagner stings.
22. Miami Dolphins - Forrest Lamp
Plug and play is the word here. They've made enough moves on defense this offseason to look at the offensive side of the ball. Tight end would be in play too.
23. New York Giants - Zach Cunningham
Their linebackers are not...wait...do they even employ any NFL linebackers. Cunningham's star has faded a bit in the process but he's a rock solid player that could really help.
24. Oakland Raiders - Jarrad Davis
Same song, different verse in terms of team need but unlike Cunningham, Davis has regained a lot of his mojo and teams like the Raiders have to be ready to pounce. In fact, I might have these players backwards in terms of which team they go to.
25. Houston Texans - Davis Webb
The battle cry in Houston must be "What the hell are we supposed to do, you moron?" They're too far away for the draft's QBs at this point - and their starter is currently Tom Savage. He has a lot of warts but at least he has NFL level talent...well some anyway.
26. Seattle Seahawks - Chidobe Awuzie
Take your pick of the CBs you like best. The problem for these guys is that because there are so many good DBs this year, lots of teams are going to think they can wait. The upside is you get to go to a good team.
27. Kansas City Chiefs - John Ross
This offense goes "ZZzzzzzzzoooooooommmmmm!!!!!"
28. Dallas Cowboys - Takkarist McKinley
I don't know what qualifies as "war daddy" but this kid is a pass rusher. They lost a lot on defense this offseason and need to get after the QB to mask some of their losses in the backfield.
29. Green Bay Packers - Marlon Humphrey
They could take corners in the first three rounds and it would actually make sense.
30. Pittsburgh Steelers - Jabrill Peppers
Sorry Steelers fans. If he's here, it's going to happen. And I don't see why not. I think teams love a guy that can do many things across roster spots and I expect him to be gone much before this.
31. Denver Broncos (from Atlanta Falcons) - Ryan Ramczyk
They gamble on the trade back and win. Their offensive line really needs something like this.
32. New Orleans Saints (from Patriots) - Kevin King
A Charlton/King combo would go a long way to easing their defensive woes, I believe