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Beginners guide to poker (1 Viewer)

MC Gas Money

MC Gas Money

Footballguy
Tonight I am going to my first live poker game. I have played THE on and off for years so im not entirely green.

Is there any pro tips about the game or live poker etiquette I should know so I dont inadvertently faux pas?

We are talking low stakes if it matters. $25 dollar tourneys.

 
Do nothing but speak in Teddy KGB quotes during the game. be sure not to break character once. KGB quotes at the poker table are fresh and cool.

 
Don't take a bad beat lightly... berate the bad beater... use math, statistics, quote strategy books...

poker isn't as much about winning money as it is about making sure the other people know that you're the best and they only beat you because of variance.

 
Wear sunglasses.

Play tight.

If you have a strong opener, raise before the flop.

If the flop doesn't fit your cards, fold. Don't chase cards on the turn and river.

Push in when you have a great hand.

If you bluff and win, show your cards. This will pay off later when you have the nuts.

 
I generally play very tight

I run a lot of check trapping

I bluff sparingly, only if im confident I have a goid grasp of the other persons tendencies

 
Dentist said:
Don't take a bad beat lightly... berate the bad beater... use math, statistics, quote strategy books...

poker isn't as much about winning money as it is about making sure the other people know that you're the best and they only beat you because of variance.
Click to expand...
If any person is an expert at this, it's Dentist. Most epic outbursts I've ever witnessed, win or lose.
 
Jack White said:
Wear sunglasses.

Play tight.

If you have a strong opener, raise before the flop.

If the flop doesn't fit your cards, fold. Don't chase cards on the turn and river.

Push in when you have a great hand.

If you bluff and win, show your cards. This will pay off later when you have the nuts.
Click to expand...
:lmao:
 
MC Gas Money said:
Im at the table

It smells really bad in here
Click to expand...
Crap on the table after you win your first hand and state "I doubt anyone will even smell this over the stench in here"

No one will have ever dominated a game more in the history of poker.

 
Where is that post with the best explanation of holdem ever? The one where we are explained the nuances of the "flop" etc. Someone has to pull that up for MCGM

 
Wear sunglasses, but only if you are playing outdoors. If you are playing indoors, wear a Hamburgler mask

play tight, and when I say play tight, I mean don't show your hand to the guy in the sombrero

talk #### to the other guys at the table

Stand up and take your pants off, but leave them around your ankles

Ask the drink girl to sit on your lap, but never beg her. She'll know when you have good cards and submit accordingly

If the big blind folds, feed your parrot a pork chop

play grab ### with the dealer, especially if she is Filipino

 
Forgive my 177 IQ, but what is the second tier? You only had 8 players. Are you considering tiers every time the blinds go up? If so, are you saying you were done in about 20 minutes?

 
If you get pocket aces, you want to make sure you don't bet much, keep a lot of players in as long as possible. That way, you win the biggest pot possible.

 
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