brown eye bleeding (1 Viewer)

[MC Gas Money]

No this thread isnt about a new grindcore band

Last week I took a painful dump. Felt a sharp pain, had to reverse it and try It again at a lower velocity.

When I wiped it was straight blood. Quite a bit.

Im guessing it was a piece of a seed hull I accidently swallowed. I dont think it was my roid that flares up every once in a while because I dont feel a bump so I guess I just got cut

Im still having some spotting and it hurts but is getting better. What can I do for relief? What is the healing time on a scratched pooper?

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

This song is unlikely to ever become as popular as Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain. Still, if you can come up with lyrics as strong as your opening line of "What is the healing time on a scratched pooper?" you may just have a hit.

 

[MC Gas Money]

This song is unlikely to ever become as popular as Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain. Still, if you can come up with lyrics as strong as your opening line of "What is the healing time on a scratched pooper?" you may just have a hit.

In what key?

 

[Wildcat]

Anal fissure. Also a good band name. It will heal, but hard stools will rip it open again.

 

[Willie Neslon]

Eat more fiber and drink a lot more water. It's that simple.

 

[Amused to Death]

So your brown eye's blue?

 

[Bucky86]

Use more lube.

 

[IC FBGCav]

If it is not bleeding then you are not trying hard enough.

 

[IC FBGCav]

There is a huge thread on this topic FYI, I think Otis started it.

 

[MC Gas Money]

Anal fissure. Also a good band name. It will heal, but hard stools will rip it open again.

How about iffice chairs?

 

[Fat Nick]

Anal fissure. Also a good band name. It will heal, but hard stools will rip it open again.

This. Had the exact situation you described a few years ago. Took a while, but it got better.

I share way too much with you guys...

 

[McGarnicle]

Good god you are such a pathetic piece of ####Good luck!

 

[JaxBill]

Still, if you can come up with lyrics as strong as your opening line of "What is the healing time on a scratched pooper?" you may just have a hit.

Eat more fiber and drink a lot more water. It's that simple.

And there you go....

 

[RUSF18]

You know who would have all these answers?

Someone with an IQ over 130.

 

[(HULK)]

Hemroids suck. Have fun!

Eat fiber, drink more water, and don't strain in the bathroom and this problem will go away for good imo.

 

[eoMMan]

And use baby wipes.

 

[MC Gas Money]

I use baby wipes and make syre I eat as much fiber as I can. The roid flares up matbe once a year. I usually just push it back in, preferably in the shower, and it goes away for a while.

Had to get scratched by a seed hull. I eat a lot of sunflower and pumpkin and sonetimes swallow pieces if shell

 

[Wildcat]

Anal fissure. Also a good band name. It will heal, but hard stools will rip it open again.

How about iffice chairs?

Possible. True story - I had a bad roid once. Hurt like a mother. It burst one day when I was getting my hair cut. Didn't know it until I got home and there was blood all over my car seat. I was wearing khakis and they were covered in blood on the back. I'm sure it burst when I was in the hair place. They probably had blood all over their chair. Everyone there had to notice the huge blood stain on my ### too. Needless to say, I never went back there.

 

[Bucky86]

Someone here almost died from a Hemroid. True story.

 

[McGarnicle]

Someone here almost died from a Hemroid. True story.

So you're saying there's hope.

 

[BigJohn]

had to reverse it and try It again at a lower velocity.

lolwut

 

[Harry Manback]

had to reverse it and try It again at a lower velocity.

lolwut

Simpleton.

If your IQ is high enough, you'd be capable of reeling in your defecate, enabling you to precisely control your movements so as to create a beautiful symphony of plops and splashes.

 

[MC Gas Money]

had to reverse it and try It again at a lower velocity.

lolwut

I used my sphincter muscles to suck it back in and take a less painful shot at ejection

 

[MC Gas Money]

had to reverse it and try It again at a lower velocity.

lolwut

Simpleton.If your IQ is high enough, you'd be capable of reeling in your defecate, enabling you to precisely control your movements so as to create a beautiful symphony of plops and splashes.

I once played taps in the bathroom after chimmychonga day in HS

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

had to reverse it and try It again at a lower velocity.

lolwut

Simpleton.If your IQ is high enough, you'd be capable of reeling in your defecate, enabling you to precisely control your movements so as to create a beautiful symphony of plops and splashes.

Only if your brain is in your ###, which...yeah, okay.

 

[JaxBill]

had to reverse it and try It again at a lower velocity.

lolwut

I used my sphincter muscles to suck it back in and take a less painful shot at ejection

:confetti:

 

[MC Gas Money]

Someone here almost died from a Hemroid. True story.

How is this possible?

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Someone here almost died from a Hemroid. True story.

How is this possible?

They gagged on the blood, nearly drowning. Served as a cautionary tale for many.

 

[skol asylum]

This song is unlikely to ever become as popular as Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain. Still, if you can come up with lyrics as strong as your opening line of "What is the healing time on a scratched pooper?" you may just have a hit.

"Don't it make my brown eye blew"

 

[Jobber]

Eat more fiber and drink a lot more water. It's that simple.

Yep. If you have to push at all when you poop, you need to adjust your diet.

 

[MC Gas Money]

Eat more fiber and drink a lot more water. It's that simple.

Yep. If you have to push at all when you poop, you need to adjust your diet.

Not even a little push? It is supposed to just fall out like wet cement?

 

[dickey moe]

This song is unlikely to ever become as popular as Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain. Still, if you can come up with lyrics as strong as your opening line of "What is the healing time on a scratched pooper?" you may just have a hit.

In what key?

Bm#

 

[Willie Neslon]

Eat more fiber and drink a lot more water. It's that simple.

Yep. If you have to push at all when you poop, you need to adjust your diet.

Not even a little push? It is supposed to just fall out like wet cement?

It's supposed to be easy. Bad diet plus dehydration equals constipation and that leads to rectal bleeding.

 

[MC Gas Money]

Eat more fiber and drink a lot more water. It's that simple.

Yep. If you have to push at all when you poop, you need to adjust your diet.

Not even a little push? It is supposed to just fall out like wet cement?

It's supposed to be easy. Bad diet plus dehydration equals constipation and that leads to rectal bleeding.

Im usually a smooth operator since an FBG told me about the magnesium citrate colon drano and I adjusted my diet.

It had to be a foreign object

 

[kentric]

What a great name for a George Michael's cover band.

 

[sbonomo]

Someone here almost died from a Hemroid. True story.

So you're saying there's hope.

okay, the water i was drinking is now on my screen.

 

[Wingnut]

had to reverse it and try It again at a lower velocity.

lolwut

I used my sphincter muscles to suck it back in and take a less painful shot at ejection

Is this skill a byproduct of frequent 2 way traffic?

 

[MC Gas Money]

had to reverse it and try It again at a lower velocity.

lolwut

I used my sphincter muscles to suck it back in and take a less painful shot at ejection

Is this skill a byproduct of frequent 2 way traffic?

NahI developed them because sometimes I would have a sticky nugget that needed to be rocked back and forth like a coke machine.

Its like whack a mole with your hiney hole

 

[Leroy Hoard]

What a great name for a George Michael's cover band.

lol

 

[Leroy Hoard]

This song is unlikely to ever become as popular as Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain. Still, if you can come up with lyrics as strong as your opening line of "What is the healing time on a scratched pooper?" you may just have a hit.

"Don't it make my brown eye blew"

"don't fear the pooper"

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

This song is unlikely to ever become as popular as Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain. Still, if you can come up with lyrics as strong as your opening line of "What is the healing time on a scratched pooper?" you may just have a hit.

"Don't it make my brown eye blew"

"don't fear the pooper"

"Wake me up before you...oh. OH!"

 

[Tom Servo]

 

[E Street Brat]

Flap cancer.

 

[Jules Winnfield]

Alternative title by Crystal Gale "Don't it make my Brown Eye Bleed"

 

[Ketamine Dreams]

Soak your ### in a warm bath at least twice a day.

 

[General Tso]

The O-Ring of Fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire,

I went down, down, down as the flames went higher

And it burns, burns, burns,

The O-ring of fire, the O-ring of fire.

 

[MC Gas Money]

Soak your ### in a warm bath at least twice a day.

If I only had the time

Maybe I can just get to the office early and spread my cheeks under the kuerig

 

[McGarnicle]

Soak your ### in a warm bath at least twice a day.

The ### there is "lungs".

 

[General Tso]

Soak your ### in a warm bath at least twice a day.

If I only had the time

Maybe I can just get to the office early and spread my cheeks under the kuerig

Seriously - stick an ice cube up your ### every time it flares up. It works on a number of different levels. Numbs it up and provides much needed moisture. Put a few paper towels in your underwear and you're good to go

 

[Aerial Assault]

This song is unlikely to ever become as popular as Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain. Still, if you can come up with lyrics as strong as your opening line of "What is the healing time on a scratched pooper?" you may just have a hit.

"Don't it make my brown eye blew"

"don't fear the pooper"

Seeeeeed hull passed, it's done

Aaaaaanal fissure fun

Romeo and Juliet

Will be bleeding like the brown-eyed sea

And his IQ's low, said chet

40,000 silly postings every day

'Rhoids ain't something he don't get

Another 40,000 coming every day

Redefine toilet mess

Another 40,000 coming every day

He's now on your radar

Come on, sphincter

Don't fear the pooper