Caught on camera taking stuffed duck from little boy's grave (1 Viewer)

[IC FBGCav]

Not sure you can be much more of a POS than her.

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2014/04/25/Ohio-woman-caught-on-camera-taking-stuffed-duck-from-little-boys-grave/9591398435537/

ONTARIO, Ohio, April 25 (UPI) -- An Ohio woman charged with taking a stuffed duck from a little boy's grave says she removed it because she feared a stray dog would grab it.

Frieda Kay Shade, 54, of Mansfield faces a charge of petty theft. She surrendered to police in Ontario, Ohio on Wednesday, after a video taken by a surveillance camera went viral.

Hayden Cole Sheridan, nicknamed Tank, died seven years ago at the age of 14 months. He was one of triplets, and his brother and sister are still living.

Police in Ontario set up the surveillance camera because there had been other thefts of items from the little boy's grave, usually around holidays when his mother likes to leave mementoes.

Jaclyn Sheridan said she has some questions for Shade.

"I mainly want to know why," Sheridan said. "What gave you the right to think it was OK to do it? What made you do it? Why my son?"

Sheridan said she has seen no stray dogs in the cemetery during her many visits and does not believe Shade's story.

Read more: http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2014/04/25/Ohio-woman-caught-on-camera-taking-stuffed-duck-from-little-boys-grave/9591398435537/#ixzz2zuoB9SLz

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Ohio is the new Florida?

 

[Juxtatarot]

I've often wondered what happens to stuff left at graves. Groundskeepers must throw that stuff away at some point, right?

 

[IC FBGCav]

I've often wondered what happens to stuff left at graves. Groundskeepers must throw that stuff away at some point, right?

I have stuff on my mother's from 5 years ago. They are engraved stones/slate. I have also left stuffed animals that I have removed after the weather beat them up. The only thing I think they take away is old flowers.

 

[(HULK)]

Hey lady, just because you lost your child doesn't give you the right to litter in the cemetary!

<----boards bus for hell

 

[Jayrok]

She took it in frustration after finding out it wasn't a big easter peep like she thought as she drove by.

 

[(HULK)]

I've often wondered what happens to stuff left at graves. Groundskeepers must throw that stuff away at some point, right?

I have stuff on my mother's from 5 years ago. They are engraved stones/slate. I have also left stuffed animals that I have removed after the weather beat them up. The only thing I think they take away is old flowers.

Flowers are biodegrable, and they go pretty quick.

 

[(HULK)]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

 

[IC FBGCav]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

I don't know the answer to the question but I do it. My mom is buried 600 miles from where I live. When I visited my family at Xmas I put Santa on her head stone. Why? I have no freaking idea, maybe because giving them something makes it seem like they are still here. But it sounds dumb to do how you put it.

 

[Kal El]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

That is a good question, my guess would be the survivor feels it reminds them of the departed, or they would buy it and leave it as a token of their love. The death of a loved one is dealt with in a variety of ways, and this is likely a type of coping mechanism. Some people do go the charity route, which is nice.

Back to the story posted by the OP, taking things from any grave is disrespectful, especially so if it's a child. My guess is she probably wanted to re-gift it and didn't want to spend a few dollars, which makes this story even worse.

 

[bigbottom]

We've had a couple vases handpainted by my son's cousins go missing from his grave. Brought it up to the cemetary front office and they stated that things get stolen. So we understand now that anything that people put out there may go missing. Sad state of affairs, but what are you going to do?

 

[(HULK)]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

I don't know the answer to the question but I do it. My mom is buried 600 miles from where I live. When I visited my family at Xmas I put Santa on her head stone. Why? I have no freaking idea, maybe because giving them something makes it seem like they are still here. But it sounds dumb to do how you put it.

If it works for you, go with it imo.

Wouldn't work for me, but we're all different

 

[bigbottom]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

It is a way to connect with a child who is now gone.

 

[(HULK)]

Stealing from a grave is pretty low. I imagine that would create an extra bad feeling in whoever put the item on the grave. Like, if this lady stole a toy duck from this other ladies house, she'd probably be upset, but nothing like the upsetness she's feeling right now.

 

[(HULK)]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

It is a way to connect with a child who is now gone.

It would really suck to lose a kid. I can't imagine. But leaving a toy on a grave isn't "connecting" per se. The kid's mind isn't present @ the grave. And even if you believe in spirits or heaven or whatever, the kid wouldn't be able to use a toy anymore, and if he/she is in heaven, they've probably got stuff way better than a toy duck constantly available.

It just seems way better to give that toy to charity in remembrance of the kid. That way it gets used by someone who needs it, and you still have that feeling that you're doing something for your kid.

 

[bigbottom]

Stealing from a grave is pretty low. I imagine that would create an extra bad feeling in whoever put the item on the grave. Like, if this lady stole a toy duck from this other ladies house, she'd probably be upset, but nothing like the upsetness she's feeling right now.

Well, by your logic, it is a way to get the toy to a child who will actually use it and appreciate it. Should probably steal the flowers as well. It's not like the dead child can appreciate it.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

Not surprised this happened in Ontario, f'ng Canadiens

 

[(HULK)]

Stealing from a grave is pretty low. I imagine that would create an extra bad feeling in whoever put the item on the grave. Like, if this lady stole a toy duck from this other ladies house, she'd probably be upset, but nothing like the upsetness she's feeling right now.

Well, by your logic, it is a way to get the toy to a child who will actually use it and appreciate it. Should probably steal the flowers as well. It's not like the dead child can appreciate it.

In my mind, flowers were always about beautifying the grave site for other visitors.

I probably should leave this thread... I'm basically an emotional robot expressing confusion and I'm worried I'll stomp someone's soft spot by accident.

 

[bigbottom]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

It is a way to connect with a child who is now gone.

It would really suck to lose a kid. I can't imagine. But leaving a toy on a grave isn't "connecting" per se. The kid's mind isn't present @ the grave. And even if you believe in spirits or heaven or whatever, the kid wouldn't be able to use a toy anymore, and if he/she is in heaven, they've probably got stuff way better than a toy duck constantly available.It just seems way better to give that toy to charity in remembrance of the kid. That way it gets used by someone who needs it, and you still have that feeling that you're doing something for your kid.

You're trying to argue logic and reason in the context of a parent grieving the loss of a child. Seems kind of pointless to me, but I guess we debate pretty much everything here.

 

[chet]

They arrested the woman responsible.

 

[bigbottom]

Stealing from a grave is pretty low. I imagine that would create an extra bad feeling in whoever put the item on the grave. Like, if this lady stole a toy duck from this other ladies house, she'd probably be upset, but nothing like the upsetness she's feeling right now.

Well, by your logic, it is a way to get the toy to a child who will actually use it and appreciate it. Should probably steal the flowers as well. It's not like the dead child can appreciate it.

In my mind, flowers were always about beautifying the grave site for other visitors.I probably should leave this thread... I'm basically an emotional robot expressing confusion and I'm worried I'll stomp someone's soft spot by accident.

Some people believe stuffed animals beautify a child's grave.

 

[KCitons]

Not sure you can be much more of a POS than her.

It's pretty bad. But the POS title belongs to another.

 

[NCCommish]

I understand where Hulk is coming from completely. I feel much the same way. The person is long gone one way or another. And add to that my atheism and the whole connecting after death is meaningless to me.

But on the other hand I can understand what BB is saying as well and I can easily imagine feeling much different if I lost a child. Miscarriages are hard enough I can't even imagine losing a child.

 

[Nipsey]

3 months in general population wearing a sign that says "I stole toys from a child's gravesite" or permanent ban from Taco Bell/McD's/Burger King. Let her choose.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Can't imagine much worse karma than stealing from a grave.

 

[glock]

My pals and I drink a solitary beer and leave the empty or cap on a friends grave whenever we swing by. He's certainly not draining the dregs or playing with the bottle caps, but it serves to connect to all family and friends who come by- letting them know that others cared/still care. I know I smile if I roll up and there is a bottle standing next to the headstone...

 

[bigbottom]

I understand where Hulk is coming from completely. I feel much the same way. The person is long gone one way or another. And add to that my atheism and the whole connecting after death is meaningless to me.

But on the other hand I can understand what BB is saying as well and I can easily imagine feeling much different if I lost a child. Miscarriages are hard enough I can't even imagine losing a child.

Perhaps I could phrase it a different way: It is a way to connect with your feelings and work through your grief regarding a child who is now gone.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Not sure you can be much more of a POS than her.

Link

 

[tommyGunZ]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

It is a way to connect with a child who is now gone.

It would really suck to lose a kid. I can't imagine. But leaving a toy on a grave isn't "connecting" per se. The kid's mind isn't present @ the grave. And even if you believe in spirits or heaven or whatever, the kid wouldn't be able to use a toy anymore, and if he/she is in heaven, they've probably got stuff way better than a toy duck constantly available.

It just seems way better to give that toy to charity in remembrance of the kid. That way it gets used by someone who needs it, and you still have that feeling that you're doing something for your kid.

Everyone draws a line in the emotional vs. logical sand somewhere. Taking your position even further, why do anything other than throw the body away after death?

We all heal differently. If spending time in front of a grave or leaving stuffed animals/flowers aids in that healing, who gives a #### if it's logical?

 

[NCCommish]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

It is a way to connect with a child who is now gone.

It would really suck to lose a kid. I can't imagine. But leaving a toy on a grave isn't "connecting" per se. The kid's mind isn't present @ the grave. And even if you believe in spirits or heaven or whatever, the kid wouldn't be able to use a toy anymore, and if he/she is in heaven, they've probably got stuff way better than a toy duck constantly available.

It just seems way better to give that toy to charity in remembrance of the kid. That way it gets used by someone who needs it, and you still have that feeling that you're doing something for your kid.

Everyone draws a line in the emotional vs. logical sand somewhere. Taking your position even further, why do anything other than throw the body away after death?

We all heal differently. If spending time in front of a grave or leaving stuffed animals/flowers aids in that healing, who gives a #### if it's logical?

Actually what I told my wife to do with mine. I certainly will be past caring.

 

[matttyl]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

That is a good question, my guess would be the survivor feels it reminds them of the departed, or they would buy it and leave it as a token of their love. The death of a loved one is dealt with in a variety of ways, and this is likely a type of coping mechanism. Some people do go the charity route, which is nice.

I live in a small town in Virginia that has a fairly large cemetery with a few fairly famous Civil War soldiers. To this day people will put stuff on their graves on birthdays/deathdays/Lee-Jackson day. Never really understood it, as they aren't "survivors" of these particular people, and never met them.

 

[Da Guru]

When I visit my parents gravesite I have never left anything behind. Just don`t see the point of leaving a stuffed animal that will get wet and mildewy in a few days. By buddy used to cut lawns during the summer at a graveyard. I remember he used to take flowers put them in vases and give the to his girlfriends or mother. The other stuff was collected and thrown away.

 

[tommyGunZ]

Serious question, and maybe its because I think the dead are just simply gone... why leave stuff at graves? I've always figured it was more about the people visiting the site... like flowers make it look nicer being the standard example. But toys? The kid isn't going to need them. Why not donate it to a charity so it ends up with a needy kid who would be able to use it and appreciate it?

That is a good question, my guess would be the survivor feels it reminds them of the departed, or they would buy it and leave it as a token of their love. The death of a loved one is dealt with in a variety of ways, and this is likely a type of coping mechanism. Some people do go the charity route, which is nice.

I live in a small town in Virginia that has a fairly large cemetery with a few fairly famous Civil War soldiers. To this day people will put stuff on their graves on birthdays/deathdays/Lee-Jackson day. Never really understood it, as they aren't "survivors" of these particular people, and never met them.

What part of VA? NoVa?

 

[B-Deep]

I get that some peple don;t understand why anyone would leave something at a grave, but people do. It is not in the least bit uncommon. Obviously some people feel comfort by doing it.

Either way, stealing something from a grave is about as ####ty as it gets

 

[NCCommish]

I get that some peple don;t understand why anyone would leave something at a grave, but people do. It is not in the least bit uncommon. Obviously some people feel comfort by doing it.

Either way, stealing something from a grave is about as ####ty as it gets

Jut wanted to be clear I agree completely with this.

 

[Tom Servo]

Not sure you can be much more of a POS than her.

Link

Only 27 responses before this? This place is slipping.

 

[(HULK)]

I get that some peple don;t understand why anyone would leave something at a grave, but people do. It is not in the least bit uncommon. Obviously some people feel comfort by doing it.

Either way, stealing something from a grave is about as ####ty as it gets

Jut wanted to be clear I agree completely with this.

Me too

 

[comfortably numb]

I get that some peple don;t understand why anyone would leave something at a grave, but people do. It is not in the least bit uncommon. Obviously some people feel comfort by doing it.

This is all that matters really.

I don't leave anything at graves. My family does. I would think it gives them a sense of comfort. They may feel the persons body is there and they want to keep it beautified with items of remembrance.

Whatever eases the heart of a person grieving for a loved one is fine by me.

While our expressions all vary from person to person, the grief comes from the same place.

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Ever have a pithy quip all lined up and then look down at the thread and see that your ifriend who actually lost someone has posted something sincere that makes you feel like a complete and utter ***hole?

Yeah, me neither.

 

[Parmcat]

If it helps the grieving process, then whats the problem?

I agree, people will debate anything on this site.

 

[bigbottom]

Well, I apologize if I came off snippy. I think Hulk's was a fair question, and I sure hate to deny the FFA of a witty quip. I'm all good.

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Well, I apologize if I came off snippy. I think Hulk's was a fair question, and I sure hate to deny the FFA of a witty quip. I'm all good.

You didn't come off snippy. And it wouldn't have been witty.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

If it helps the grieving process, then whats the problem?

I agree, people will debate anything on this site.

No we won't.

 

[BustedKnuckles]

Jeez people ...its a symbol of the love they have for a deceased loved one...this isnt rocket science

 

[IC FBGCav]

Well, I apologize if I came off snippy. I think Hulk's was a fair question, and I sure hate to deny the FFA of a witty quip. I'm all good.

You did nothing wrong and if I was in your shoes I would have blown up in this thread. But your post above is why you are one of, if not the best person on this board.

 

[EYLive]

Can't imagine much worse karma than stealing from a grave.

This may not be a good comparison, but don't archaeologists do this all the time? Shouldn't King Tut's swag have been left alone?

 

[IC FBGCav]

Can't imagine much worse karma than stealing from a grave.

This may not be a good comparison, but don't archaeologists do this all the time? Shouldn't King Tut's swag have been left alone?

Those are property of the country they are in and you need approval from the country to do it.

 

[EYLive]

Can't imagine much worse karma than stealing from a grave.

This may not be a good comparison, but don't archaeologists do this all the time? Shouldn't King Tut's swag have been left alone?

Those are property of the country they are in and you need approval from the country to do it.

At what point does an family's estate become the country's?

 

[IC FBGCav]

Can't imagine much worse karma than stealing from a grave.

This may not be a good comparison, but don't archaeologists do this all the time? Shouldn't King Tut's swag have been left alone?

Those are property of the country they are in and you need approval from the country to do it.

At what point does an family's estate become the country's?

I don't know rules of back then but now I know you purchase a lot to be buried in, hence your property.

 

[Flying V]

If it helps the grieving process, then whats the problem?

I agree, people will debate anything on this site.

No we won't.

Define "debate".