shadyridr said:
Recently reinstated Bengals WR Chris Henry is accused of harassing a valet parking attendant after Henry allegedly left his car without paying.
The parking attendant accuses Henry of going chest to chest with him and saying ""F-you...F-this...don't you know who I am?" Henry allegedly also threw a five dollar bill on the ground in front of the attendant and declared "You better pick that up b----". No charges have been filed, but the Bengals issued a statement on the matter: "We are aware of the reports. At this point it's not clear that anything substansive will develop."
I found myself wondering how I'd have reacted if Chris Henry did that to me. Which of course means it's time for:
Top Ten things the valet should have responded when Chris Henry told him, "F-you...F-this...don't you know who I am?"
10. Someone who makes enough to afford $5 but isn't important enough to not have to pay it?
9. I'd tell you to read your name off your driver's license if you need to hear it. But you went to West Virginia, so I
guess the reading part is out.
8. Why would I know who you are? I'm a valet, not a bail bondsman.
7. If that $5 was part of your signing bonus you had better hang onto it. They'll be asking for it back before long.
6. Nope. But I bet it's moments like this that make you glad they put your name on mugshots. Maybe you have a few wallet-sized you could show me?
5. Are you the one who shoots people or the one who gets underaged girls liquored up?
4. Aren't you Roger Goodell's b----?
3. Nope. They don't use people's names on 'Cops'.
2. I can never keep you two straight. Are you Serena or Venus?
And the Number 1 thing to say to Chris Henry when he asks you, "F-you...F-this...don't you know who I am?"
1. "The Defendant?"