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Did something pretty amazing today (1 Viewer)

Nigel

Footballguy
In the shower this morning, soap in right hand, I reached back awkwardly over my right shoulder to wash the elusive area between my shoulder blades. As often happens the wet soap slipped out of my hand, so I instinctively dropped the washcloth out of my taint-washing left hand and swung it quickly behind my back, buttocks-high, hoping to snag the cascading egg-shaped bar of Dove. I'm pretty sure all athletes with elite reflexes attempt this catch regularly, but the success rate is VERY low (<1%?) even in perfect conditions (rectangular bar, other hand free, etc). With the egg-shaped bar obviously making it that much more difficult, plus the washcloth occupying the busy off-hand...it was probably a 1/1000 chance. Snagged it anyway - so pumped!!   :bowtie:

 

Nigel

Footballguy
Wait, you were washing one part of your body with a washcloth in one hand and another part of your body with soap in the other hand?  At the the same time?  What is this weirdness?
I'd just lathered ball/dong/taint region with right hand/soap. I then came in with the left hand/washcloth to vigorously work that area. While doing that, I simultaneously moved north with the right hand/soap, hitting the abdomen and chest regions, and then reaching over my shoulder with the soap to hit my upper back. That's when I lost my grip, abandoned the fine work I was doing with the washcloth, and swung the left hand around the back to catch the soap.

Hope that clears it up.

 

gianmarco

Footballguy
I'd just lathered ball/dong/taint region with right hand/soap. I then came in with the left hand/washcloth to vigorously work that area. While doing that, I simultaneously moved north with the right hand/soap, hitting the abdomen and chest regions, and then reaching over my shoulder with the soap to hit my upper back. That's when I lost my grip, abandoned the fine work I was doing with the washcloth, and swung the left hand around the back to catch the soap.

Hope that clears it up.
It doesn't.

Go on.....

 
Last edited by a moderator:

shuke

Black Ice Skeptic
I'd just lathered ball/dong/taint region with right hand/soap. I then came in with the left hand/washcloth to vigorously work that area. While doing that, I simultaneously moved north with the right hand/soap, hitting the abdomen and chest regions, and then reaching over my shoulder with the soap to hit my upper back. That's when I lost my grip, abandoned the fine work I was doing with the washcloth, and swung the left hand around the back to catch the soap.

Hope that clears it up.
You're going from taint to your upper body?  Dude.  Wrong order.

I still don't get the two hand thing.

 

Galileo

Footballguy
I'd just lathered ball/dong/taint region with right hand/soap. I then came in with the left hand/washcloth to vigorously work that area. While doing that, I simultaneously moved north with the right hand/soap, hitting the abdomen and chest regions, and then reaching over my shoulder with the soap to hit my upper back. That's when I lost my grip, abandoned the fine work I was doing with the washcloth, and swung the left hand around the back to catch the soap.

Hope that clears it up.
Washing, you say?  huh...

 

Maik Jeaunz

Footballguy
Nigel said:
I'd just lathered ball/dong/taint region with right hand/soap. I then came in with the left hand/washcloth to vigorously work that area. While doing that, I simultaneously moved north with the right hand/soap, hitting the abdomen and chest regions, and then reaching over my shoulder with the soap to hit my upper back. That's when I lost my grip, abandoned the fine work I was doing with the washcloth, and swung the left hand around the back to catch the soap.

Hope that clears it up.
is this when Ice came in and jammed a water bottle up your bum?

 

Nigel

Footballguy
Correct order of operations:
1. Neck/arms/chest/upper body
2. "Privates"/taint
3. Legs
4. Butt crack
5. Bottom of feet
6. Wash soap vigorously with hands and return to resting spot for next use.
My goodness...just focus on the ####### catch. Try to replicate it and get back to me, though it will be a whole lot easier with a planned drop.

(your list above is awful btw - unless you step barefoot in #### daily who soaps the bottom of their feet? plenty of soapy water at bottom of shower to take care of them by just standing around in there.)

 

Black Box

Footballguy
Bob Sacamano said:
The millennials don't even understand what in the hell you're talking about. 
Substitute "washcloth" with "loofah" and "bar of Dove" with "some outrageously expensive organic body wash with ingredients fair sourced from the Amazon rain forest"?

 

offdee

Footballguy
(your list above is awful btw - unless you step barefoot in #### daily who soaps the bottom of their feet? plenty of soapy water at bottom of shower to take care of them by just standing around in there.)
Washing in between your toes is one of the more important areas of focus for cleanliness. That's where all the funk and stank is.

 

dickey moe

Fingerpicker
My goodness...just focus on the ####### catch. Try to replicate it and get back to me, though it will be a whole lot easier with a planned drop.

(your list above is awful btw - unless you step barefoot in #### daily who soaps the bottom of their feet? plenty of soapy water at bottom of shower to take care of them by just standing around in there.)
Plus, that's what pee is for.

 

Bossman

Footballguy
EXACT same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago ...

except that when I dropped the bar of soap from between my shoulder blades, I swung around fast and hit a ground rule double over the bath tub wall.

You don't see me in here bragging about it though.

I'm more impressed that you can work two different areas at the same time. So time efficient. Do you brush your teeth and hair at the same time?

 

Kanil

Footballguy
I've spent too much time thinking about this and I'm going to downgrade it from a 8.5/10 to about a 7/10.  In hindsight, I don't think it's as difficult as you've made it sound.

 

ShamrockPride

Footballguy
My goodness...just focus on the ####### catch. Try to replicate it and get back to me, though it will be a whole lot easier with a planned drop.

(your list above is awful btw - unless you step barefoot in #### daily who soaps the bottom of their feet? plenty of soapy water at bottom of shower to take care of them by just standing around in there.)
Yeah. I just don't get the dedicated feet washing thing. Just as weird as that guy here that washes his car every day.

 

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