TLEF316
Footballguy
So I've posted about this before....but my grandmother on my mother's side turned 90 back in February. She has always been a bit kooky and has a major addiction to buying ridiculous stuff on QVC, but she's always been resonantly healthy physically. She never drank or smoked and always took care of her herself. If you just saw a picture of her, you would never guess that she was 90 years old.
But over the last year, she has had a couple of major health issues. Last July. she developed (and nearly died from) a bleeding ulcer that was probably caused by some bad advice from her doctor. She was probably 2 hours away from bleeding to death and spent nearly 2 months in the hospital/rehab. After mostly working her back from that, she fell at the bank back in November and broke her hip. That was another month in the hospital/rehab. She has had a live-in aid since then.
Since these 2 incidents, her mental state has been deteriorating rapidly. She had some reactions to the post-surgery medications (seeing things/people that weren't there) and her short term memory is basically totally gone at this point. It has gotten progressively worse over the past few months and is now become a MAJOR problem. She'll repeat the same questions 3 times in a 10 minute conversation, forget something she did 2 minutes earlier, call my mom about the same thing 3 times in one day, etc. Its getting pretty clear that she will never be able to live on her own again.
All of this is totally stressing out my mom. Her only sibling lives down in Tennessee and is very little help. (despite constant appeals). My brothers and I try to help when we can, but its tough (grandma lives 90 minutes away from me and I'm the closest). Now my grandmother is convinced that she is almost ready to drive again (even though she can't walk without a walker) and is demanding my mom give her back her car (My mom took it a few months ago to use temporarily to save some $$ at the end of a lease due to some financial troubles after losing her job).
So I guess my question is....what is the process (and does anyone have any tips) for basically getting my grandmother's license revoked? We've basically come to the conclusion that she needs to be declared incompetent, which obviously won't go over very well. She really should be in an assisted living facility but will NEVER go willingly.
I know lots of you guys have dealt with this, so any help would be greatly appreciated. When my mom calls to talk to me about it, I basically have no advice (since I've never dealt with anything like this) and would really like to change that. Unless my aunt steps up to the plate (very very unlikely based on the past 35 years) we're going to have to be the bad guys here. At the very least, we need to guarantee she'll never be on the road again.
But over the last year, she has had a couple of major health issues. Last July. she developed (and nearly died from) a bleeding ulcer that was probably caused by some bad advice from her doctor. She was probably 2 hours away from bleeding to death and spent nearly 2 months in the hospital/rehab. After mostly working her back from that, she fell at the bank back in November and broke her hip. That was another month in the hospital/rehab. She has had a live-in aid since then.
Since these 2 incidents, her mental state has been deteriorating rapidly. She had some reactions to the post-surgery medications (seeing things/people that weren't there) and her short term memory is basically totally gone at this point. It has gotten progressively worse over the past few months and is now become a MAJOR problem. She'll repeat the same questions 3 times in a 10 minute conversation, forget something she did 2 minutes earlier, call my mom about the same thing 3 times in one day, etc. Its getting pretty clear that she will never be able to live on her own again.
All of this is totally stressing out my mom. Her only sibling lives down in Tennessee and is very little help. (despite constant appeals). My brothers and I try to help when we can, but its tough (grandma lives 90 minutes away from me and I'm the closest). Now my grandmother is convinced that she is almost ready to drive again (even though she can't walk without a walker) and is demanding my mom give her back her car (My mom took it a few months ago to use temporarily to save some $$ at the end of a lease due to some financial troubles after losing her job).
So I guess my question is....what is the process (and does anyone have any tips) for basically getting my grandmother's license revoked? We've basically come to the conclusion that she needs to be declared incompetent, which obviously won't go over very well. She really should be in an assisted living facility but will NEVER go willingly.
I know lots of you guys have dealt with this, so any help would be greatly appreciated. When my mom calls to talk to me about it, I basically have no advice (since I've never dealt with anything like this) and would really like to change that. Unless my aunt steps up to the plate (very very unlikely based on the past 35 years) we're going to have to be the bad guys here. At the very least, we need to guarantee she'll never be on the road again.
