Funeral Today - Friend's Son (1 Viewer)

[SHIZNITTTT]

Like the title states a funeral today for a friend's son who took his life at 27.  Gun shot wound to inside of his mouth and out the back of his head.  Young man had a fight with his girlfriend after night of drinking. Argument lead to him shooting himself.  My friend (parents) and his wife were in Hawaii at the time. Trying to catch a flight back had to be so ####### aggravating! Feeling so much powerlessness in the situation.  Anger and such selfishness is all I could think of for the first couple of days. The pain left behind for those alive to carry.  It is not the bathroom of things to bury your child.  Dad literally could not stand up in the ICU room where they kept his son on life support until het get home from Hawaii. Donated organs went to 5 people.  Hospital flew a flag in honor of organ donation.   Hits pretty hard since he was 27.  I think he was just mad and lost control.   I can feel the pain in my chest and stomach over the lose of a child.  We hugged in the ICU and how do you get past such a horrific event is all I could think and the anger for seeing my friend turned to mush.  I hope that in time my friend and his family can get past this event.  No words to console him. 

I guess just keep moving ... one foot in front of the other.  

Sorry for the ramblings.    God Bless and give a hug to your kids.

 

[culdeus]

Sorry about this, I think we've all had a similar situation.  Family friend about that age I think for reasons we'll never really know went out the same way just not thinking things thru.  The family sort of reconciled this as an accident in the sense that the victim in this case didn't let themselves think thru how ultimately minor the problem would have been even 24hrs later.  

The mom even spoke at the funeral in this way and said that it was simply a mistake and asked everyone thinking of the same thing to either A) call a professional first or B) call her 24/7/365 and she would try to help.  It was stunning to me.  I still remember that speech.  

It was very sad because there was a suicide of a FBG maybe like a week later that wasn't really talked about much on the boards.  I knew the guy got a little behind money wise, but would have rallied given the right chance.  I knew the FBG a little bit off the boards too and I still am haunted a little bit that I could have done more to get him squared away.

 

[Joe Bryant]

I'm sorry GB. I don't have any words. And you don't need any either for your friend. Just let him know you're there is all you can do. But I think that's a lot. 

Praying for peace can grace in all this. 

 

[Clown Car]

Im so sorry. Im glad you were there for him. It is so important. 

 

[johnnycakes]

Makes my bucket of problems seem trivial by comparison. Thoughts & prayers for all those affected by this tragic loss. 

 

[bigbottom]

Honestly, I can’t imagine a greater feeling of loss than that of a child to suicide.  The grief, the despair and the unavoidable feelings of guilt.  My heart breaks for your friend and his wife.

But my heart also breaks for the young man who took his life. What must he have been going through during those moments. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine who is a radio host and works with vets suffering from PTSD had the below to say about suicide after the passing of country legend Tom Hall. His point has a hard edge no doubt, and wouldn’t be the way I would express it, but I think it’s a valid point worth thinking about. But again Shiz, I’m really sorry about your friend’s incredible loss.

SUICIDE.  Plenty of emails this morning regarding the coroner's report that Tom T. Hall's death was ruled a suicide.  My reaction is first that it's his life, not mine, and not for me to judge him.  But I want to say something about suicide that is very important to me.  I often hear people say that suicide is "selfish", that people around them suffer because of the person's decision to take their own life.  Well, yes, those people suffer because their loved one is gone.  However, maybe ponder this for a moment.  Our will to survive is instinctive, and powerful.  Imagine how much suffering humans have endured to survive, when simply laying down and dying was easier, as in crime victims left for dead.  It is natural, innate, universal, we want to LIVE.  How bad did it have to be for someone to take their own life?  Not how bad do YOU think it was, how bad did HE think it was?  Imagine the pain someone was enduring.  Imagine the sense of hopelessness.  Imagine feeling that ending your own life was better than continuing it.  No, I'm not in favor of suicide.  I've worked hard to get help for people who need it, because a better awaits.  Just don't tell me how awful someone is for what they did.  Instead, maybe take a moment and feel sadness for their hurt, their hopelessness, their despair.  There is no good ending to this.  Just save me the judgment of people suffering worse than I hope you ever have to.  

 

[belljr]

A kid in my homeroom committed suicide our senior year. Very small high school so everyone knew everyone. We were friendly but not friends. It didn't hit me like many others. It didn't really hit me until after college when I met up with people from high school and the subject came up, just how sad for everyone.

T&P to you and the family, shizznit

 

[zamboni]

SUICIDE.  Plenty of emails this morning regarding the coroner's report that Tom T. Hall's death was ruled a suicide.  My reaction is first that it's his life, not mine, and not for me to judge him.  But I want to say something about suicide that is very important to me.  I often hear people say that suicide is "selfish", that people around them suffer because of the person's decision to take their own life.  Well, yes, those people suffer because their loved one is gone.  However, maybe ponder this for a moment.  Our will to survive is instinctive, and powerful.  Imagine how much suffering humans have endured to survive, when simply laying down and dying was easier, as in crime victims left for dead.  It is natural, innate, universal, we want to LIVE.  How bad did it have to be for someone to take their own life?  Not how bad do YOU think it was, how bad did HE think it was?  Imagine the pain someone was enduring.  Imagine the sense of hopelessness.  Imagine feeling that ending your own life was better than continuing it.  No, I'm not in favor of suicide.  I've worked hard to get help for people who need it, because a better awaits.  Just don't tell me how awful someone is for what they did.  Instead, maybe take a moment and feel sadness for their hurt, their hopelessness, their despair.  There is no good ending to this.  Just save me the judgment of people suffering worse than I hope you ever have to.  

Thank you for posting this, BB. I do think that society often has a tendency to fault those who take their own lives as being selfish. But it’s easy to judge when you’re not walking in the shoes of someone who is not - or cannot - think that way during a time of unimaginable despair.

 

[jobarules]

I hate when people call suicide selfish. People who commit suicide are obviously not well nor thinking clearly. I just recently lost a friend to suicide as well. 

 

[Caveman33]

Thank you for posting this, BB. I do think that society often has a tendency to fault those who take their own lives as being selfish. But it’s easy to judge when you’re not walking in the shoes of someone who is not - or cannot - think that way during a time of unimaginable despair.

Yes, the ones holding that default sentiment seem selfish to me.  Concerned more with the impact upon their lives, rather than the wishes of the individual who was suffering.  Killing oneself over a relationship does seem rash but many people have medical issues or other problems that will not resolve or improve.  Even with a positive attitude, life is likely to be a constant struggle. We have no choice in being brought into this world.  Some mothers, including mine, have children to fill an emptiness in their own lives.   Shouldn't adults have autonomy over their own lives?  

 

[GoBirds]

Like the title states a funeral today for a friend's son who took his life at 27.  Gun shot wound to inside of his mouth and out the back of his head.  Young man had a fight with his girlfriend after night of drinking. Argument lead to him shooting himself.  My friend (parents) and his wife were in Hawaii at the time. Trying to catch a flight back had to be so ####### aggravating! Feeling so much powerlessness in the situation.  Anger and such selfishness is all I could think of for the first couple of days. The pain left behind for those alive to carry.  It is not the bathroom of things to bury your child.  Dad literally could not stand up in the ICU room where they kept his son on life support until het get home from Hawaii. Donated organs went to 5 people.  Hospital flew a flag in honor of organ donation.   Hits pretty hard since he was 27.  I think he was just mad and lost control.   I can feel the pain in my chest and stomach over the lose of a child.  We hugged in the ICU and how do you get past such a horrific event is all I could think and the anger for seeing my friend turned to mush.  I hope that in time my friend and his family can get past this event.  No words to console him. 

I guess just keep moving ... one foot in front of the other.  

Sorry for the ramblings.    God Bless and give a hug to your kids.

Man so sorry to hear this. Lost one of my best friends from HS to suicide after a night of drinking after a breakup. Just so brutal losing great people from a decision like that they probably wouldn’t have made with a clear head. So sorry and all I can think of you can do is be there for them, just brutal. 

 

[WDIK2]

Can't even imagine. So sorry for your friend and their family. No words.

 

[Judge Smails]

So sorry.  Worst nightmare for a parent

 

[TritOny]

I understand that this is a sensitive and timeless topic. Even after a year, the pain of losing a loved one in such a tragic way can remain profound. The grief and sense of powerlessness you mentioned are emotions that can linger for a long time, and it's entirely natural to feel anger and sadness in the face of such a devastating loss.
have you ever heard of Aquamation? It's a process that some people find comforting during difficult times like these, as it offers a more environmentally friendly and gentle option.
Regardless of the time that has passed, the loss of a loved one is a heavy burden to bear, and offering your condolences and support can still mean a lot.