What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Funniest thing you've seen on a resume (1 Viewer)

George Jefferson Airplane

George Jefferson Airplane

Footballguy
[SIZE=10.5pt]Was going over resumes today and one referenced "Fantasy Football Commissioner” as leadership experience. It was only a matter of time until this happened I suppose. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]Others I’ve seen:[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-Interests: “drinking games"[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-Four softball MVP trophies[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-Date available: “Married”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-Management experience: Kickball league vice president[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-Enterprising “collage” graduate[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-Strategic thoughts artist[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-Donated unsoiled rugs to Salvation Army[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-For a drama dept job: “seven years experience dressing clowns.” [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-References: “People who know me tell me I’m the best”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-References: “I have been referenced in many cooking articles.” [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10.5pt]-Community service: 6 months of work release service [/SIZE]

 
We had this guy in once for a executive assistant job who put "Homecoming Prince" on his resume. Not even the King, the Prince.

We called him out on it in the interview. He sold it well, though. "I put it there to show I'm personable, make connections, and get along well with people."

Ended up hiring the guy. But we didn't let him live it down. For his whole first year, we referred to him as "Your Majesty". As in, "Reorder some printer toner, Your Majesty," and "Can you call maintenance? The toilets are clogged again, Your Majesty."

 
I have one saved. In the cover letter, the guy noted that he was "currently accepting positions" and his last sentence was "My qualifications are impressive and it would be a pleasure to join the corporation"

He also had a few exclamation points in bulleted accomplishments e.g. "Researched x processes with annual savings of $50,000!" And listed a bunch of sports/exercise things in activities "Gym exercising: bench press 315 lbs, single arm curl 65 lbs, leg press 350 lbs" and "Golfing: Championship tees avg 110"

 
I once saw a resume close to 30 years ago that was very unusual. The resume had a phot of the person on the resume, wearing a crown, with the title "KING OF SALES" under the photo.

 
I loved looking over resumes where people listed their interests. I don't give a crap what you're interested in! One guy was apparently really good at mini-golf.

Saw one where the person spelled their name wrong, yes this really happened.

Another one that had the name of the company they were applying for spelled wrong.

A good one too was the person didn't have an address. They lived off the grid. Strange one.

 
I did get one once, from a mid 30's woman, who said she was looking for a position as Pubic Relations Director. I wonder who eventually told her about the typo.

Or was it a typo?

 
Was interviewing for a graphic designer position once and this young (Fresh out of college) girl brought in her book (portfolio). She was a bit of a hippy chick... couple extra pounds but nothing bad.

We flip through her design work and discuss it, then she says she wants to show some pencil/charcoal work (not required for the job, not mentioned in the job description).

She flips to a nude sketch of herself. I'm :unsure: ... it's nice work but awkward. I say "nice work, but we won't have much need for sketching in this role". Unfazed, she flips to a second nude sketch of herself... talks about the light sources, etc.. At this point I just don't say anything. She flips to another from a 3rd angle...talks a bit, then she closes the book and looks up like everything is perfectly normal.

Did not hire.

 
I typically see the funny email addresses like others have noted, but a guy last week took a bit of the cake during his in-person interview.

He nearly started a fist fight because he disagreed with coding methodology. Yeah, coding methodology. He practically threw things around in the room when the interviewer didn't agree with him and stormed off. (He was incorrect btw).

 
When I was 22 I was managing a bookstore and some guy came in and asked for an application, we were hiring for a min. wage retail spot. He came back the next day and handed me a manilla envelope, said 'thank you' and walked out.

In the envelope was the filled out application and a glossy 8x11 color photograph of him. :shrug: :confused: :loco: It was kind of like a cross between a starving actors action shot and a ####ty glamor shot. He was leaning an elbow against a frame ladder and he had this creepy Quagmire smile. I didn't hire him but that picture stayed tacked to the wall in the back room the entire time I worked there.

 
AhrnCityPahnder said:
When I was 22 I was managing a bookstore and some guy came in and asked for an application, we were hiring for a min. wage retail spot. He came back the next day and handed me a manilla envelope, said 'thank you' and walked out.

In the envelope was the filled out application and a glossy 8x11 color photograph of him. :shrug: :confused: :loco: It was kind of like a cross between a starving actors action shot and a ####ty glamor shot. He was leaning an elbow against a frame ladder and he had this creepy Quagmire smile. I didn't hire him but that picture stayed tacked to the wall in the back room the entire time I worked there.
Click to expand...
:useless:

 
AhrnCityPahnder said:
When I was 22 I was managing a bookstore and some guy came in and asked for an application, we were hiring for a min. wage retail spot. He came back the next day and handed me a manilla envelope, said 'thank you' and walked out.

In the envelope was the filled out application and a glossy 8x11 color photograph of him. :shrug: :confused: :loco: It was kind of like a cross between a starving actors action shot and a ####ty glamor shot. He was leaning an elbow against a frame ladder and he had this creepy Quagmire smile. I didn't hire him but that picture stayed tacked to the wall in the back room the entire time I worked there.
Click to expand...
Was he foreign?

 
My first month on Wall Street, my phone rings. Big boss in the corner office tells me to come in. He starts reading a job applicant's interests from his resume.

(Puts on gay voice) "I enjoy working out, hiking, swimming....." (Back to his own voice) "This dork will never go to Mudville 9 for all you can eat wings and pitchers." Crumples up the resume and throws it away.

It was precisely then that I realized how Wall St. works.

 
A guy was applying for a labor position and his wife came into the office and filled out his application for him. He's been here 5 years now.

 
My boss called me in once because he had a resume for someone with whom I had worked at a previous job. Asked me what I thought and I honestly said, "If you even think about hiring him, I'm out of here."

He somehow thought that the fact that the guy had worked several different jobs over the previous five years (fired from most of them) was indicative of "plenty of experience."

 
" post="17070613" timestamp="1407267248"]Was interviewing for a graphic designer position once and this young (Fresh out of college) girl brought in her book (portfolio). She was a bit of a hippy chick... couple extra pounds but nothing bad.

We flip through her design work and discuss it, then she says she wants to show some pencil/charcoal work (not required for the job, not mentioned in the job description).

She flips to a nude sketch of herself. I'm :unsure: ... it's nice work but awkward. I say "nice work, but we won't have much need for sketching in this role". Unfazed, she flips to a second nude sketch of herself... talks about the light sources, etc.. At this point I just don't say anything. She flips to another from a 3rd angle...talks a bit, then she closes the book and looks up like everything is perfectly normal.

Did not hire.

WWARD?
Click to expand...
 
AhrnCityPahnder said:
When I was 22 I was managing a bookstore and some guy came in and asked for an application, we were hiring for a min. wage retail spot. He came back the next day and handed me a manilla envelope, said 'thank you' and walked out.

In the envelope was the filled out application and a glossy 8x11 color photograph of him. :shrug: :confused: :loco: It was kind of like a cross between a starving actors action shot and a ####ty glamor shot. He was leaning an elbow against a frame ladder and he had this creepy Quagmire smile. I didn't hire him but that picture stayed tacked to the wall in the back room the entire time I worked there.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
When I was an undergrad I worked the front desk at the Graduate School of Management. One of the projects was putting together a book of resumes for the graduating class. One guy had used the margins to put in quotes about himself from people who knew him. Things like, "Very hard worker." I think one of the quotes was from his mom.

Worse, the resume wasn't reviewed before it was submitted and was published in the book like that.

 
iamsmilin said:
When I was an undergrad I worked the front desk at the Graduate School of Management. One of the projects was putting together a book of resumes for the graduating class. One guy had used the margins to put in quotes about himself from people who knew him. Things like, "Very hard worker." I think one of the quotes was from his mom.

Worse, the resume wasn't reviewed before it was submitted and was published in the book like that.
Click to expand...
This format is a MS Word template... or at least one similar to what you describe. I've seen one in my reviews of other teachers. Kind of pretentious to me to use this format.

 
Judge Smails said:
[icon] said:
Was interviewing for a graphic designer position once and this young (Fresh out of college) girl brought in her book (portfolio). She was a bit of a hippy chick... couple extra pounds but nothing bad.

We flip through her design work and discuss it, then she says she wants to show some pencil/charcoal work (not required for the job, not mentioned in the job description).

She flips to a nude sketch of herself. I'm :unsure: ... it's nice work but awkward. I say "nice work, but we won't have much need for sketching in this role". Unfazed, she flips to a second nude sketch of herself... talks about the light sources, etc.. At this point I just don't say anything. She flips to another from a 3rd angle...talks a bit, then she closes the book and looks up like everything is perfectly normal.

Did not hire.
Click to expand...
WWARD?
Click to expand...
Paint those walls!

 
Speaking of job applications, one time I was supervisor in a retail pharmacy (no Im not Eminence). Some guy came in & asked if the manager was there. I told him no but I can give him the application. He handed it to me and I jotted down on the application that the guy looked good (meaning professional looking). Two minutes later, guy comes back and asks for the application back so he could personally hand deliver it to the manager so I gave it back to him. I wonder if he ended up handing the application back to the manager with the note jotted down on it. That mustve been awkward.

 
shady it is ok brohan like my main man that guy from snl said to ahmenajad in that video about him being in new york you are in new york now baby so do not sweat it and you take that to the bank on me bromigo

 
I've seen two that sort of qualify...

1) Rainbow Word Art. A girl submitted an otherwise normal resume with her name in rainbow word art in huge 30+ point font at the top.

2) A guy worked at Circuit City. He was applying for a job at my stores. The only computer he had access to was the POS computer at Circuit City. The only printer they had hooked up to the CC POS computers was a receipt printer. Yes...he printed a 2 foot long resume on receipt paper.

 
Fat Nick said:
I've seen two that sort of qualify...

1) Rainbow Word Art. A girl submitted an otherwise normal resume with her name in rainbow word art in huge 30+ point font at the top.

2) A guy worked at Circuit City. He was applying for a job at my stores. The only computer he had access to was the POS computer at Circuit City. The only printer they had hooked up to the CC POS computers was a receipt printer. Yes...he printed a 2 foot long resume on receipt paper.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
AhrnCityPahnder said:
When I was 22 I was managing a bookstore and some guy came in and asked for an application, we were hiring for a min. wage retail spot. He came back the next day and handed me a manilla envelope, said 'thank you' and walked out.

In the envelope was the filled out application and a glossy 8x11 color photograph of him. :shrug: :confused: :loco: It was kind of like a cross between a starving actors action shot and a ####ty glamor shot. He was leaning an elbow against a frame ladder and he had this creepy Quagmire smile. I didn't hire him but that picture stayed tacked to the wall in the back room the entire time I worked there.
Click to expand...
I used to work in the admissions office of a state university. Potential students were not required to send a picture with their application, but many did. Many of the pics were of the glamour shot variety, but we also received a plethora of talent show shots and the occassional topless guy leaning up against his Iroc-Z. The truly horrible pics made the Wall of Shame, and when I say "wall" I mean a true full wall covered with goobers.

While I don't have any resume stories, I do have a business card story. Some guy I kind of knew in grad school once handed me his "business" card. This card didn't list a business, though. Instead, it simply read: Brent DeBord: Poet, Visionary, Thinker. There was no schtick. He was dead serious. I wanted to kick him in the gut and give him a Stoine Cold Stunner on the spot.

 
Fat Nick said:
I've seen two that sort of qualify...

1) Rainbow Word Art. A girl submitted an otherwise normal resume with her name in rainbow word art in huge 30+ point font at the top.

2) A guy worked at Circuit City. He was applying for a job at my stores. The only computer he had access to was the POS computer at Circuit City. The only printer they had hooked up to the CC POS computers was a receipt printer. Yes...he printed a 2 foot long resume on receipt paper.
Click to expand...
:lol:

Those 2 foot long receipts are why they went of business.

 
Can't think of a resume funny, but I recall 2 "interview" incidents... One was for IT Network Support. We asked the guy what his favorite part about working in IT. He told us that he REALLY, REALLY loved running network cables. :confused: We tried to reword the question a bit thinking he may have gotten confused, but no... He REALLY, REALLY loved running network cables.

Did not hire.

When we were looking to purchase a new phone system for the company we had a variety of vendors come in for their pitch. We had this smaller company come in and their lead salesman was this guy with a heavy Italian accent. He told us: "[JoePesciAccent]Look... We might not be able to provide everything [Vendor A] can.. But yous really don't want to go with dos guys! We might not have as many options, or as nice of equipment, or be able to beat their price but we are the best. You can go with [Vendor A] if yous wants, but you REALLY want to go with us!". He got more and more angry as he threw out this terrible sales pitch. It was pretty funny. We all thought he was an Italian version of Tommy Boy trying to sell brake pads while setting the office on fire.

 
Fat Nick said:
I've seen two that sort of qualify...

1) Rainbow Word Art. A girl submitted an otherwise normal resume with her name in rainbow word art in huge 30+ point font at the top.

2) A guy worked at Circuit City. He was applying for a job at my stores. The only computer he had access to was the POS computer at Circuit City. The only printer they had hooked up to the CC POS computers was a receipt printer. Yes...he printed a 2 foot long resume on receipt paper.
Click to expand...
Well #2 is actually quite impressive and shows improvisation and problem solving.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top