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Hard Knocks with the Texans; Coaches like to curse (2 Viewers)

Intersting things, for me:

- JJ Watt is a lot snarkier than I thought he'd be. A pleasant surprise kind of like Carson Palmer was.

- Wilfork just seems affable and chill for a guy who could stop a glacier.

- The return of Clowney storyline.

- Will DeAndre Hopkins actually show up at practice with a Yorkie in a European manpurse? If so, what will he be wearing, and how else will he accessorize? I believe he was one bad childhood audition away from being Pharrell.

- Brian Cushing is the older brother antagonist from some lost John Hughes film, except a little too over the top to quite be believable enough for an 80's teen comedy. Every scripted compliment coming from his wife seemed stiff and nervous, as though under duress.

Things not at all interesting:

- Any of the QB or RB battle competitors. No real talent or personality anywhere there. Losing the Zen zaniness of Foster was a tragedy, here.

- Bill O'Brien. Seems WAY too self consciously aware that he's on camera, and is trying to fill every scene with another tough guy role play moment. Awkward.

- Boringest. Rookies. Ever. Though I did enjoy McKinney's saucy Latina gal pal hitting him up for babies.

- Where are the breakout assistants? Is Mike Vrabel really the best we have to look forward to?

Things I'm undecided on:

- That guy's socks.

 
Their offense has a long way to go to prove to me (anyhow) that they can rise above the loss of players to other teams and injuries with what they have in stock.

But thinking about a situation where Watt, Clowney, Cushing, and Wilfork firing on all cylinders at once makes me shudder for the opposition. That crew can win games for the Texans without the offense showing up. Crick was looking good last year, too.

 
Stompin said:
Their offense has a long way to go to prove to me (anyhow) that they can rise above the loss of players to other teams and injuries with what they have in stock.

But thinking about a situation where Watt, Clowney, Cushing, and Wilfork firing on all cylinders at once makes me shudder for the opposition. That crew can win games for the Texans without the offense showing up. Crick was looking good last year, too.
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Along with the comments about the defense, if rookie Kevin Johnson is capable of playing like a 1st rounder as early indications seem to be suggesting he might... Houston would have 3 corners capable of starting, with a couple more behind them good enough to be a nickel corner. Corner depth looked a weakness going into last season. It might end up being one of their biggest strengths this year.

 
Freelove said:
Intersting things, for me:

- JJ Watt is a lot snarkier than I thought he'd be. A pleasant surprise kind of like Carson Palmer was.

- Wilfork just seems affable and chill for a guy who could stop a glacier.

- The return of Clowney storyline.

- Will DeAndre Hopkins actually show up at practice with a Yorkie in a European manpurse? If so, what will he be wearing, and how else will he accessorize? I believe he was one bad childhood audition away from being Pharrell.

- Brian Cushing is the older brother antagonist from some lost John Hughes film, except a little too over the top to quite be believable enough for an 80's teen comedy. Every scripted compliment coming from his wife seemed stiff and nervous, as though under duress.

Things not at all interesting:

- Any of the QB or RB battle competitors. No real talent or personality anywhere there. Losing the Zen zaniness of Foster was a tragedy, here.

- Bill O'Brien. Seems WAY too self consciously aware that he's on camera, and is trying to fill every scene with another tough guy role play moment. Awkward.

- Boringest. Rookies. Ever. Though I did enjoy McKinney's saucy Latina gal pal hitting him up for babies.

- Where are the breakout assistants? Is Mike Vrabel really the best we have to look forward to?

Things I'm undecided on:

- That guy's socks.
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Where are you on Wilfork shaving his feet? His teammates are mesmerized by it.And on Cushing, you nailed it!! :lol: I immediately thought of this guy the entire show: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/8d/34/50/8d345026aef4f191663148a0519fc244.jpg

For you young bucks that's Bill Paxton as the older douchbag brother in Weird Science circa 1985.

 
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For a team that supposedly has a strong offensive line, kind of surprising they couldn't punch it in from the goal line with 7 tries.

 
Regarding Cushing's family life and parenting skills - nothing goes as well with toddlers and pool activities as a hammer.

 
I agree with this year being a little meh. It just feels more scripted or edited than previous years. It's missing some of the raw energy the previous years have had.

 
-jb- said:
no mention of the two equipment guys working their balls yet? nice little wink to deflategate.
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Watching that actually had me more inclined to not believe the Pats (as if that changes anything). I know there are equipment guys... but actually seeing the effort put into those footballs, there's no way that equipment guys don't know the air pressure. And when you put that effort into it, there's no way QBs aren't telling them how to prepare the footballs.

 
Thought the last Ep was a little boring compared to the first. Although I did enjoy Cushing pushing the baby stroller on the mini-board thing (what are those called??)

This offense is going to be pitiful, but even knowing that, they were able to tear up the SF defense. If Hoyer/Mallet/Savage and Blue can do it, they might be even worse than expected.

Really looking forward to Clowney. Other than Watt (covered), Hopkins (covered), the QB situation (covered) and the RB situation (covered), there's not a lot left for this season, is there?

 
karmarooster said:
Really looking forward to Clowney. Other than Watt (covered), Hopkins (covered), the QB situation (covered) and the RB situation (covered), there's not a lot left for this season, is there?
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Where are the rookies on the roster bubble? They've showed almost no position battles. Where's the GM? Not much shown of other coaches besides Vrabel and a little of Crennel. The show is at it's best showing strife, not showing a gloried music video. I found the safeties bickering on the sideline to be fascinating. I want to see coaches blasting players. From past years, watching the Atl special teams coach screaming in the meeting or Sherman being brutally honest, those moments were great.

 
Glad I'm not the only one who thought Cushing was a #####. As my buddy put it "Seems like the kind of guy who would divorce his wife if she gained 5 lbs, or abandon his son if he was gay". Seems like the other Texans are constantly rolling their eyes at his 80s teen movie villain bull####.

Highlights:

- "CRANK IT GLEN! RICK ROSS! WOO!"

- Vince and JJ. There's a buddy comedy in the making there, when Vince actually does show up to JJs cabin in WI. Breakfast really is the best meal.

- Hopkins and his "man purse"

 
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leftcoastguy7 said:
For a team that supposedly has a strong offensive line, kind of surprising they couldn't punch it in from the goal line with 7 tries.
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That was a complete trainwreck. O'Brien said he was going to keep pounding as a lesson if they can't manage to punch it in. Really surprised O'Brien seemed to be lightly kidding about this on the sidelines instead of seeing what I expected (and arguably think was deserved) -- a full-tilt top-volume expletive-riddled melt-down.

 
Cushing is one mouth breather. His wife had this scared stepford wives look on her face the whole time and kept trying to trip over herself trying to convince anyone that her husband isnt a lunatic.

 
I get the feeling that these guys are sick of hearing about JJ Watt.

When the astronauts mentioned JJ, you could see the resentment.

 
TripItUp said:
I get the feeling that these guys are sick of hearing about JJ Watt.

When the astronauts mentioned JJ, you could see the resentment.
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Also known as jealousy. I normally can't stand guys similar to Watt but I feel he deserves his recognition. Man works hard, puts in extra time, treats his fans right and seems to know what he's doing.

 
I am not sure there is a defensive player or many offensive players I would take over JJ and I mean ever since I started watching and loving football these past 35 years or so. He really is the perfect player, he's a hard worker, he is truly good at everything, he is intelligent and seems to be a good and supportive teammate. I have heard he is always one of the last guys to leave and first ones to show up daily, even before seeing it on the show. After that long day still took time to sign a million autographs.

 
I'd take Lawrence Taylor, Reggie White and J.J., in that order. I don't go back far enough to have seen Deacon Jones, other than on film.

 
Shame on me that I missed the first few seasons. Consensus 1.01? Has anyone re watched an old season and is it still as good or stale by not being current?

 
I wish on the interception returned for a TD they had focused in on #21, Darryl Morris.

First Morris made a block without which there wouldn't have been a return. Then he catches back up to Brown. Then correctly identified that the two nearest players, though close, didn't have the speed or angle to make a tackle. But a third player coming in from further away did have the angle and would have likely prevented the touchdown but Morris cut across the two nearer guys to take the right player out of the play.

I can't count the number of times a defensive player on a return like that just runs beside his teammate with the ball rather than pick out the most important player and go to engage them, and the ball carrier gets tackled as a result. Great play by Morris, wish they'd called it out on the show.

Overall, loved this episode. Laughed my ### off at the impersonation of BOB.

 
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Greg Russell said:
I wish on the interception returned for a TD they had focused in on #21, Darryl Morris.

First Morris made a block without which there wouldn't have been a return. Then he catches back up to Brown. Then correctly identified that the two nearest players, though close, didn't have the speed or angle to make a tackle. But a third player coming in from further away did have the angle and would have likely prevented the touchdown but Morris cut across the two nearer guys to take the right player out of the play.

I can't count the number of times a defensive player on a return like that just runs beside his teammate with the ball rather than pick out the most important player and go to engage them, and the ball carrier gets tackled as a result. Great play by Morris, wish they'd called it out on the show.
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That was excellent. That's excellent. Just excellent. That play right there is excellent. I've seen excellent but that is what excellent is. Simply excellent. Excellent.

 
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Didn't like the episode. I'm just not going to like this season. I'm not feeling any positional battle, rookie, or UDFA drama. Watching the Texans is not getting me pumped for the season and this show always does that.

I liked the segment with O'Brien and his kid, but that's about it. The rookie skits were a little too heavy on the inside jokes. The O'Brien impression was decent.

Do Hoyer and Mallett hate each other or something? For a QB battle, they have shown surprisingly little interaction there. I mean none. And they haven't done anything much with either of them indiviually, unless I missed it.

 
Greg Russell said:
I wish on the interception returned for a TD they had focused in on #21, Darryl Morris.

First Morris made a block without which there wouldn't have been a return. Then he catches back up to Brown. Then correctly identified that the two nearest players, though close, didn't have the speed or angle to make a tackle. But a third player coming in from further away did have the angle and would have likely prevented the touchdown but Morris cut across the two nearer guys to take the right player out of the play.

I can't count the number of times a defensive player on a return like that just runs beside his teammate with the ball rather than pick out the most important player and go to engage them, and the ball carrier gets tackled as a result. Great play by Morris, wish they'd called it out on the show.
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Good observation, and a fantastic hustle play. I got you.

I was looking for the All-22 version of the play, but unless I'm missing it somehow it looks like Game Pass doesn't offer that for preseason games.

 
Best episode of the season. Not as many music montages and the ones they had were funny (space oddity, top gun). How about Watt hitting those upper deck fans in the hands?

 
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