elguapo07
Footballguy
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Have you ever sharted? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter gbill2004
- Start date
AAABatteries
Footballguy
Judge Smails
Footballguy
Seriously - who hasn't? I mean even a little.
Ilov80s
Footballguy
Ditkaless Wonders
Footballguy
It is true. I was the butt of several jokes for the next few days. I might have tried to make up a story to cover myself, but funny is funny so I shared the story and it got shared liberally thereafter.
The thing is now I have lost my confidence. I have sat on the toilet for better than half my farts since, being uncertain, gun shy. That has to stop. As often as I announce my presence with authority I cannot be running to the toilet.
brun
Footballguy
A couple of years back I was feeling kinda sick at work. Needed a toilet probably 3-4 times that afternoon for some runny movements. Was hoping it would pass, but by the end of the day I left for home still not feeling right. Soon after hitting the road I started feeling really out of it. The headlights from other cars were blurry and I wasn't confident about my ability to judge distances, but the only thing in my disoriented head was to get home. About 5 minutes from my exit I needed to pull over because I felt like I was going to puke. I stopped, opened the door, lifted my left leg to start exiting the car and boom. If you've used one of those expanding foam products, that's what it felt like in my pants. However, except it wasn't just contained there. Up through the top of the back of my pants, shirt, inside of my jacket, car seat. Didn't care. Got down on my hands and knees and puked. Returned to the car and drove home without further incident.
Once I got home I stripped, showered, put on a bathrobe. Still feeling really poorly, I called my son and asked him to come over and then sat in in my office since it's between the bathroom and my bedroom. About the time I heard him downstairs I needed the bathroom. I got up to walk to the bathroom and the next thing I remember is lying on back, puking and my son standing there. I rolled over onto my side and a minute later, or so it seemed, paramedics were in the room. I was confused when they asked me when I started having trouble breathing. It seems that my son called 911 and reported that I was having difficulty breathing. He was in a panic and somehow he didn't think to just roll me over. I still remind of this moment of brilliance periodically.
At the hospital, more puking and pooping. Some meds and fluids. I'm guessing I left the hospital after about 6 hours. Went home, rested and then dealt with the cleanup.
Sickest I've ever been.
Not exactly a shart, but felt compelled to share.
Once I got home I stripped, showered, put on a bathrobe. Still feeling really poorly, I called my son and asked him to come over and then sat in in my office since it's between the bathroom and my bedroom. About the time I heard him downstairs I needed the bathroom. I got up to walk to the bathroom and the next thing I remember is lying on back, puking and my son standing there. I rolled over onto my side and a minute later, or so it seemed, paramedics were in the room. I was confused when they asked me when I started having trouble breathing. It seems that my son called 911 and reported that I was having difficulty breathing. He was in a panic and somehow he didn't think to just roll me over. I still remind of this moment of brilliance periodically.
At the hospital, more puking and pooping. Some meds and fluids. I'm guessing I left the hospital after about 6 hours. Went home, rested and then dealt with the cleanup.
Sickest I've ever been.
Not exactly a shart, but felt compelled to share.
