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Hording vs practical (1 Viewer)

Max Power

Max Power

Footballguy
Where is the middle of the road?

I'm mid 30s and have moved 8 times in the last 15 years.  Moving so often has really led to me downsizing as often as possible.  This week I moved into my home for the next 10-12 years.  I was talking to my neighbor who is in his late 60s and when I mentioned throwing/giving things away he was visually taken back by it.  He doesn't throw anything away in case he ever needs it.  I get that there is a generational difference at play, but now that I'm putting some roots in, I want to hit that sweet spot.  Keeping what I should and giving away what I don't need. 

I have about a dozen plastic containers for keepsakes.  They all fit easily in the attic.  I guess the question boils down to if you don't touch something for over a year, do you really need it?

 
Other than my aquarium (which is 75 gallons and basically a half day job to safely drain and move) everything I own could be calmly packed into boxes and loaded into a moving truck ( with 3 people) within 3 hours.

Pretty sure that's the ideal.

 
My wife is almost a hoarder.   I throw tons of crap out.   We constantly "argue" over it.

You want to keep mementos I get it but she is like we could give this to my nephew .... 3 years later it's still sitting in the same spot, I then just chuck it/donate it

 
belljr said:
My wife is almost a hoarder.   I throw tons of crap out.   We constantly "argue" over it.

You want to keep mementos I get it but she is like we could give this to my nephew .... 3 years later it's still sitting in the same spot, I then just chuck it/donate it
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Funny... I had the exact same argument this week.  Hand me downs sound good in principle, but its really junk.

 
Every so often I throw out a box of my wife's crap. One time she was looking for some old college photos and I felt kinda bad, but I hate clutter.

 
I struggle with getting rid of things, especially with "garage" items like tools. I am nowhere near "hoarder" status but I look at stuff I maybe haven't used in a while and say "Man, that was $50... I might use it again someday."

 
I would love to purge more.  So much stuff we don't use.  Just feel bad to throw out stuff that is still good.  Take a bunch to goodwill.

I get the momento stuff but my wife still has books from college (20 years ago).  In our house for just over 10 years and could not imagine moving.  Things would need to get tossed.

 
On the unfinished side of my basement, its full of boxes of old photos, clothes, memories, mementos, VHS tapes and music CDs, old educational books, wrapping paper and gift bags, old decorations and boxes of holiday decorations. —all my wife. 

I have 1 rumbbermaid bin with my whole pre-married life in it. 

In all fairness, like the OP, I've moved around a lot as a kid, and when I got married, we moved to a 1 bedroom apartment while at the same time my parents sold the family home and moved out of state. So I really had no place to store anything.

My wife lived in her house for her whole non-married life and her parents still live there. 

 
belljr said:
My wife is almost a hoarder.   I throw tons of crap out.   We constantly "argue" over it.

You want to keep mementos I get it but she is like we could give this to my nephew .... 3 years later it's still sitting in the same spot, I then just chuck it/donate it
Click to expand...
same in our household, except it's the wife purging stuff, and me wanting to hold on or find better homes.

my grandma was a single, broke mom who busted her ### at the tail end of the great depression to make sure my dad (only son) had a chance to succeed. she ended up doing pretty well for herself all things considered, but never lost being frugal and also having difficulty getting rid of things. our family was never a big collector of things- got the things we needed that were as good quality as we could afford and kept them until they were practically disintegrated. it still pains me to "waste" things that haven't reached their full use (and I'm aware that people's ideal of "use" is highly variable), so all of this kids' stuff we're going throw kills me to throw out while still in good/great shape.

the wife's mom was born into nothing too (no electricity, kept things cold in the "crick") but married her dad- who was a successful doctor. my MIL is a borderline horder now that my FIL is gone. every room in the house is crowded with stuff- a lot of it new, dollar store stuff that she buys for the very large (wife is youngest of 7 kids) family but never gives out... so it all sits there on top of beds, counter-tops, desks in perpetuity. 

this drives my wife absolutely insane- so she's gone more in the opposite direction by purging our stuff twice a year. it hurts at a weird, instinctual level while we're doing it, but I'm always relieved to have our place decluttered.

bleh... sorry- that got more involved than I expected. 

I think minimizing the accumulation is key- and when you do, trying to get things that are top quality so they last (we're in a disposable era- from clothes to appliance, it's all lasting less and less time before their expiration date, and beginning to take a toll on society/planet imo). 

 
My wife grew up with 6 people in a 2 bedroom apartment.

So I understand her desire to save/conserve etc.  We actually balance each other out well that way but she gets a bit extreme on that end though

 
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belljr said:
My wife is almost a hoarder.   I throw tons of crap out.   We constantly "argue" over it.

You want to keep mementos I get it but she is like we could give this to my nephew .... 3 years later it's still sitting in the same spot, I then just chuck it/donate it
Click to expand...
Same here. I think part of the reason I can't get her to move is that I want to downsize. She knows we will have to get rid of things. More concerning is that my daughter is showing the same tendencies. When she cleans her room a new box shows up in basement storage. We have tubs of beanie babies and other stuffed animals. A giant tub of my sons' hot wheels cars and another one of legos. My daughter has a saddle. We've never owned a horse! I built an oak stand for her to display it in her room a few years back. They're both sitting in the attic. I keep suggesting that we donate/give the stuff to someone that can enjoy them. 

 
We were in the same situation, moved every few years for the past 20. Now we're here for a while and our plan is to donate or sell at least one box of stuff each month. Occasionally my wife will order the kids to donate 5 items of their choice. Works well until they try to donate the ? or their brothers stuff.

 
I'm much worse than my wife with this stuff.  I'm the worst with any type of "paperwork" - manuals/instructions for anything I buy, every bill for the past 24 months, every "annual statement" for investments, pensions, retirement plans, social security, insurance policies, and the like; medical bills and insurance explanation of benefits.  I try to keep that all "organized" in an old plantation desk in the guest room, or in a file cabinet in the garage. 

We've also got a 2 year old, so there's that - which forced us to get rid of a lot of stuff to make room for other "kid" stuff.  2 adults and one kid - ~3,400 finished sq. ft. home pretty much full of "stuff", along with a 2 car garage with loft, and a shed (I have LOTS of lawn and garden type stuff).  It's our eventual goal to downside considerably, but that's not for another 20-30 years, so in the meantime we'll fill the space we have.

 
El Floppo said:
same in our household, except it's the wife purging stuff, and me wanting to hold on or find better homes.

my grandma was a single, broke mom who busted her ### at the tail end of the great depression to make sure my dad (only son) had a chance to succeed. she ended up doing pretty well for herself all things considered, but never lost being frugal and also having difficulty getting rid of things. our family was never a big collector of things- got the things we needed that were as good quality as we could afford and kept them until they were practically disintegrated. it still pains me to "waste" things that haven't reached their full use (and I'm aware that people's ideal of "use" is highly variable), so all of this kids' stuff we're going throw kills me to throw out while still in good/great shape.

the wife's mom was born into nothing too (no electricity, kept things cold in the "crick") but married her dad- who was a successful doctor. my MIL is a borderline horder now that my FIL is gone. every room in the house is crowded with stuff- a lot of it new, dollar store stuff that she buys for the very large (wife is youngest of 7 kids) family but never gives out... so it all sits there on top of beds, counter-tops, desks in perpetuity. 

this drives my wife absolutely insane- so she's gone more in the opposite direction by purging our stuff twice a year. it hurts at a weird, instinctual level while we're doing it, but I'm always relieved to have our place decluttered.

bleh... sorry- that got more involved than I expected. 

I think minimizing the accumulation is key- and when you do, trying to get things that are top quality so they last (we're in a disposable era- from clothes to appliance, it's all lasting less and less time before their expiration date, and beginning to take a toll on society/planet imo). 
Click to expand...
I think this is something I just realized.  Need to stop buying stuff for just buying stuff.  Do you really need it?  are you really going to use it?  I am all for buying things you are going to use and I am more into buying quality of that thing so it last.  Like many here have said, less stuff more experiences.

 
matttyl said:
I'm much worse than my wife with this stuff.  I'm the worst with any type of "paperwork" - manuals/instructions for anything I buy, every bill for the past 24 months, every "annual statement" for investments, pensions, retirement plans, social security, insurance policies, and the like; medical bills and insurance explanation of benefits.  I try to keep that all "organized" in an old plantation desk in the guest room, or in a file cabinet in the garage. 

We've also got a 2 year old, so there's that - which forced us to get rid of a lot of stuff to make room for other "kid" stuff.  2 adults and one kid - ~3,400 finished sq. ft. home pretty much full of "stuff", along with a 2 car garage with loft, and a shed (I have LOTS of lawn and garden type stuff).  It's our eventual goal to downside considerably, but that's not for another 20-30 years, so in the meantime we'll fill the space we have.
Click to expand...
I struggle the most with paper.  Paper the kids bring home from school, financial papers, and the manuals instructions stuff.  I need to review and purge more.  I do have a rotating system of about 4 years for credit card receipts and other monthly bill such as cell phone and gas electric bills.

 
matttyl said:
I'm much worse than my wife with this stuff.  I'm the worst with any type of "paperwork" - manuals/instructions for anything I buy, every bill for the past 24 months, every "annual statement" for investments, pensions, retirement plans, social security, insurance policies, and the like; medical bills and insurance explanation of benefits.  I try to keep that all "organized" in an old plantation desk in the guest room, or in a file cabinet in the garage. 

We've also got a 2 year old, so there's that - which forced us to get rid of a lot of stuff to make room for other "kid" stuff.  2 adults and one kid - ~3,400 finished sq. ft. home pretty much full of "stuff", along with a 2 car garage with loft, and a shed (I have LOTS of lawn and garden type stuff).  It's our eventual goal to downside considerably, but that's not for another 20-30 years, so in the meantime we'll fill the space we have.
Click to expand...
There are very few documents that you have to keep. (most of those end up in the safe) I scan the rest and keep them on a USB drive. It really doesn't take that long to do and it makes it easier to find a digital document. (no sorting through boxes or file cabinets. 

 
KCitons said:
There are very few documents that you have to keep. (most of those end up in the safe) I scan the rest and keep them on a USB drive. It really doesn't take that long to do and it makes it easier to find a digital document. (no sorting through boxes or file cabinets. 
Click to expand...
Yeah, we have the safe for the real important stuff (car titles, birth certs, SS cards, marriage license).  I don't have the time and patience for scanning (nor do I have a document feeding scanner, just a flat bed scanner).  I do, though, have a pretty sweet plantation desk from my grandmother (kinda like this) where I can store stuff and get to it pretty easy....but it fills up quick. 

Neither the wife or I are really big on "keepsakes", but that's likely to change as the kid gets older.  The issue we're having now is family (mostly my other in law) buying larger and larger toys for the kid.  He now has no joke 10+ "riding" type toys.  A push bike, a tricycle, a john deer tractor, a "mater" (from Cars), a zebra on wheels, a dinosaur, one of those plastic cars.....and two wagons...and those are just the ones I can think of right now at the office.  My MIL just got him a huge hand me down train table that's 3'x5' - complete with tons of trains and wooden track pieces.  Keeping his stash of toys manageable will be our biggest hurdle these next few years.  We do try to purge every spring (Spring cleaning) and donate what we can to the local Salvation Army, or hand me down stuff to friends with younger kids. 

 
My dad is a hoarder..Been getting a little better. One of the reasons my parents split though. The good news is it made me never want to hoard stuff.

 
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ChiefD said:
NEVER throw these away. Once the kids are gone you can sell them on Craigslist for some good $.

Play with them yourself
Click to expand...
Fyp

Really the only toys we plan to keep are Legos and the wooden Thomas the train stuff. 

Of course with our oldest 11 years older than our youngest we'll probably go straight from kids at home to grandchildren.

 
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McGarnicle said:
Every so often I throw out a box of my wife's crap. One time she was looking for some old college photos and I felt kinda bad, but I hate clutter.
Click to expand...
I have a box of high school yearbooks with some flirty messages in there.  Wife wants me to chuck it, I'm on the fence about it.  Do I need it?  no.  But its there

 
Moved into a fully furnished model home, of course we now have a basement full of furniture from our previous home 

I've been handing out beds, couches, and dressers the past several years. 

 
After a few garage sales we said that is enough. We now keep a hamper in the closet and as soon as we don't neeed or want something anymore it goes in the hamper. 

When its full I bring it to goodwill. 

Been a great system. 

 
Max Power said:
I have a box of high school yearbooks with some flirty messages in there.  Wife wants me to chuck it, I'm on the fence about it.  Do I need it?  no.  But its there
Click to expand...
Really?  Your wife is threatened by flirty messages from high school?  That's her problem.  Keep your yearbook.

 
Max Power said:
I have a box of high school yearbooks with some flirty messages in there.  Wife wants me to chuck it, I'm on the fence about it.  Do I need it?  no.  But its there
Click to expand...
We have an old dresser in our garage, one drawer is for keepsakes. HS yearbooks, pictures, etc go in there. We hardly ever open it but the idea that we can show it to our grandkids someday keeps us from tossing the stuff.  I also have an old Footlocker I picked up 20 years ago in which I keep some old army stuff. If it doesn't fit in those, and we don't use it within a year it's gone. 

 
Anything replaceable, I'm cool with it going. Memory type things though, I want to keep. I can pack my memorabilia and kid stuff like baseball cards into 2-3 boxes.  Past that, most everything is stuff I use.  

 
I'm 50 with a wife and 4 kids. Most of the clutter in our house is kids stuff. We donate to Goodwill, the Arc and a few others a few times per year. Clothes, toys, books, old dishes, pans, furniture, beds, bikes, anything that we don't need or use regularly. 

Because of this, we don't waste money on stuff we don't need/use and our house and garage isn't cluttered. I couldn't stand it if it was. Besides people that aren't as fortunate as us need that stuff if it's just sitting in your house doing nothing. It's really selfish to hoard it.

 
If we haven't used it in the past year and it's wasn't expensive (tools, kitchen items) it gets donated or tossed.  6 people and 2 dogs there's enough stuff to fill up the house as it is.  Thankfully my wife is on board.  My oldest (just turned 16) is getting some bad habits from my Step-Father who IS a hoarder - man keep everything - milk jugs, old butter containers - 30 year old books that are musty - VHS tapes - tools that are obsolete.  I dread having to clean out my folks basement one day.

 
My wife has two bad traits of most horders, she hates getting rid of stuff and she can't pass up a good "deal."  We argue about this once in a while since our small house is fairly cluttered.  I've come to accept that this is her personality and I need to pick my battles when it gets worse than normal.

Stupid wife. 

 
Ignoramus said:
I struggle with getting rid of things, especially with "garage" items like tools. I am nowhere near "hoarder" status but I look at stuff I maybe haven't used in a while and say "Man, that was $50... I might use it again someday."
Click to expand...
Not asking ignoramus, asking the house:

Do people seriously throw out, say, a cordless drill if they haven't used it in a year? The "haven't used it in a year" rule can't be a covering rule for any and all household items. And if there's no one covering rule that can be used for all items ... than you still have to triage clutter and thus there is no time-saving rule. Triage takes forever.

 
My wife loves throwing out and de-cluttering and I really don't get attached to much from my past, so I don't mind. I think I'm down to one box of stuff in the basement closet. There are a bunch of old newspapers from historic events in there that she keeps wanting to dump but I keep thinking I'll do something artistic with them eventually when I have some time. We're both very minimalist when it comes to "stuff" so when we eventually move (we've been in this house 23 years) it will be pretty easy to pack.

 
dino259 said:
I would love to purge more.  So much stuff we don't use.  Just feel bad to throw out stuff that is still good.  Take a bunch to goodwill.

I get the momento stuff but my wife still has books from college (20 years ago).  In our house for just over 10 years and could not imagine moving.  Things would need to get tossed.
Click to expand...
This.  I donate stuff like crazy

 
Doug B said:
Not asking ignoramus, asking the house:

Do people seriously throw out, say, a cordless drill if they haven't used it in a year? The "haven't used it in a year" rule can't be a covering rule for any and all household items. And if there's no one covering rule that can be used for all items ... than you still have to triage clutter and thus there is no time-saving rule. Triage takes forever.
Click to expand...
No tools don't count

 
belljr said:
No tools don't count
Click to expand...
The three things that came to mind that we don't throw out is tools, kitchen accessories and seasonal items (Xmas, Easter).  Clothes, shoes, books, movies, all paperwork and old electronics either go to Goodwill or in the trash.

 
AAABatteries said:
If we haven't used it in the past year and it's wasn't expensive (tools, kitchen items) it gets donated or tossed.  6 people and 2 dogs there's enough stuff to fill up the house as it is.  Thankfully my wife is on board.  My oldest (just turned 16) is getting some bad habits from my Step-Father who IS a hoarder - man keep everything - milk jugs, old butter containers - 30 year old books that are musty - VHS tapes - tools that are obsolete.  I dread having to clean out my folks basement one day.
Click to expand...
There are people for this.  Hiring them will help de-stress what will probably be an unhappy time.

 
Been in our current house for 12 years and holy #### do we have a lot.  We used to save up for garage sales but I think we're beyond that.  I just donate as much as I can.

I admit I still have all my old baseball cards and sports memorabilia from the 80's.  I also hoard stuff in the garage.  Scrap pieces of wood, old towels and shirts that can be used for rags, etc.  

 
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