Kanil said:
Without going into too many details, I have a friend who has cancer, has just gotten over a round of chemo treatments, and is undergoing surgery on the 21st. A couple of us are going to meet him down in Houston for a few days for what could potentially be a "last hurrah". We've got a few activities planned out based on things our friend likes but am looking for any others people might suggest in the Houston area. Keeping in mind he still gets winded walking to the mailbox so no 5 mile nature hikes or 2am bar crawls.
I know this isn't a ton of information to go on but any suggestions would be great.
Most important thing is probably just to sit with him. They’ll be a few of you so I know there’s a natural yearning to figure out “OK well what are we going to do while we’re there.” But you being there - that alone means a lot.
Im sure you’ll get good recommendations and it’ll be nice to have a good steak together or sushi or ballgame or whatever is your thing. But the really awesome thing is you’re going to spend time with him.
Don’t worry about what might happen down the road bc you just don’t know. But stay in the moment. Sounds pithy but just enjoy the moment you’re in.
Instead of getting bored, notice what you hear, what you smell, what every beverage sip tastes like. Focus on the texture and flavor of a bite of what you’re eating. Instead of waiting for your friend to finish talking so you can start, really hear what they’re saying. Start thinking about the story they’re telling from the perspective of you’re now them and how would you feel in that moment (of the story they’re sharing.)
When you wake up and no one is around to interrupt yet, just take a moment sitting in the edge of your bed. Feel your breath going in and out. Think about what you feel in your feet, your ankles. Slowly go upward and feel each joint and body part, until you are at your shoulders and neck and thinking about what the weight of your head feels like in that moment. It’s all about being present for yourself - instead of rushing off to start the day, take 5 or 10 minutes to check in with yourself.
Sounds hokey, right? A little bit? They’re just tricks to heighten your awareness of what’s around you. Tips to help you focus on making “in the moment” a tangible, felt thing.
Make this weekend with your friend about down shifting and looking at life from the slow lane. Appreciate all the stuff you normally miss running around getting stuff ticked off the to do list.
Enjoy your time with your friend. You don’t have to be a superhero and this doesn’t have to a male version of the make a wish foundation. If it ends up being awesome, that’s cool. But just being there for your friend - what you are already planning on - man, it’s already really special. And I don’t know you, but you’re the kind of friend we all want to have when we’re going through something tough.
God bless GB.
