How Well Do You Handle Criticism From "Regular" Or Even Anonymous People? (1 Viewer)

[ChainsawU]

our entire response hierarchy and most of our endocrinology is based in alarms. danger alarms go off with every challenge

....and every perceived challenge. for relationships, I'm an imposing human, so I always have this in mind in order to avoid setting anything off inside people's heads (no matter how large or small, consciously or subconsciously). as a result some of my best relationships are with people who don't trust a lot of people. they trust and like being around me simply because there's no alarm going off inside their head for them to deal with. no association. it's great for cultivating romantic interests in this way, but even more so lately it applies more and more to EVERY relationship now. as it seems that so many - more and more people - are so damn afraid of everything around them. I noticed you're a big man the other day too (t-shirts). I also found "people tire quickly of hearing precisely how little credit they can take for much of what goes on inside them" interesting, but more from a forgiveness standpoint - probably the root of where our concept of forgiveness comes from. and probably small talk as well

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Ok, so I couldn't stop thinking about this thread last night.  Was up all night.  I feel like Joe was taking a shot at me.  

Joe always seemed to be more of a "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan fan.

 

[fissure man]

I voted bothers me a little. but thinking about it- I get irrationally angry when I feel I've been misjudged, so that's not quite right. I am typically judging myself more harshly than others, so most of the time I tend to either accept or not notice criticisms which have typically already been internalized.

This. You articulated this better than I could have. Thanks.

 

[wikkidpissah]

....and every perceived challenge. for relationships, I'm an imposing human, so I always have this in mind in order to avoid setting anything off inside people's heads (no matter how large or small, consciously or subconsciously). as a result some of my best relationships are with people who don't trust a lot of people. they trust and like being around me simply because there's no alarm going off inside their head for them to deal with. no association. it's great for cultivating romantic interests in this way, but even more so lately it applies more and more to EVERY relationship now. as it seems that so many - more and more people - are so damn afraid of everything around them. I noticed you're a big man the other day too (t-shirts). I also found "people tire quickly of hearing precisely how little credit they can take for much of what goes on inside them" interesting, but more from a forgiveness standpoint - probably the root of where our concept of forgiveness comes from. and probably small talk as well

yes, whether we realize it or not, we are training the people around us how to treat us and act in our presence. some folks think doing that intentionally is dishonest and "manipulative" and, while it can be, it should be part of the toolbox of anyone who wants to avoid getting in jackpots in the public sphere.

and, yes again, big guys know that more than regular folk. i've become close with my father's baby sister in the years since i moved back to Vt and, every time she sees me,. this she hugs & holds & rubs me like a holy relic and exclaims "gentle giants are the most special people in the world". this is odd because she's one of the few family members who've actually seen me haul off on a guy (defending her drunken husband decades ago) but my auntie will go on about we Frankensteins being life's peacekeepers. that may be an anachronistic view in these low-contact times because i get a lot less "big fella" deference than i used to, but the bouncer mentality of the good fights being the ones that never happen comes naturally to those of us above the crowd.

ETA: and the "people tire quickly of hearing precisely how little credit they can take for much of what goes on inside them" is another aspect of folks not realizing that by being "original" and "organic" they actually condemn themselves to being far more predictable than people who live intentionally are.

 

[Warhogs]

I voted bothers me a little. but thinking about it- I get irrationally angry when I feel I've been misjudged, so that's not quite right. I am typically judging myself more harshly than others, so most of the time I tend to either accept or not notice criticisms which have typically already been internalized.

I think I fall more into this range too. I have always had a tough time dealing with criticism.

 

[jonessed]

If someone I know and respect points something out I take it to heart.  We all have our quirks (except apparently mediocre Iranian professional wrestlers ), but it’s good to have people around that will keep you in check a bit.

Most criticism from strangers isn’t going to faze me much unless it’s something I’ve already recognized I need to work on.  In those cases it’s a good reminder.  I make mistakes and don’t mind getting called on them.

 

[nirad3]

I guess I’m struggling to find the scenario Joe is describing.  My assumption is that if I know the person at all I would take their comment to heart.  If I don’t know them then I don’t give a damn about their opinion.  And I don’t do social media.

 I think this board is basically social media, but I get your point.