I Love My Wife, But....... (1 Viewer)

[Osaurus]

The thread reminds me of the last time we got into a real argument.  She keeps a sponge and a dishcloth on the sink.  I (erroneously) assumed the dishcloth was for dishes.  Turns out, and this is after 20 years of being together so maybe I'm just not paying attention, that the cloth is for wiping down counters and is NEVER TO BE USED FOR DISHES!

I'm like "honey, it's a dishcloth", she got upset about this and when her mom came to visit brought it up.  Now, I love her mom really, and to her credit she didn't want to get involved, but apparently her whole family uses dishcloths on the counter, never dishes. 

Outrageous!

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

For those of you who remember a George Carlin routine about skipping the first slice of bread in a loaf, my husband's family does that.  I thought Carlin was just making that up.  

Let your family eat the bad bread.  Who does that?

 

[Da Guru]

My wife hates empting the dishwasher..but enjoys oral sex so I have become an expert at putting away the dishes.

 

[Brunell4MVP]

For people complaining about the cleaning ... why no maid?  They are cheap as dirt.  We have a group that cleans out house for $180 every 2 weeks.  Typical suburban DC house.  It takes them 5 hours and it's great.  It would take us 20 hours and we'd do a worse job.  No dust.  No cleaning toilets or tubs.  Sparkling kitchen. No whining between me and the missus.  I #####ed about the cost at first.  But after one month of it, I would never go back to worrying about it myself.  We'd rather spend the time doing other things.

 

[Rodnald Silks]

i evorced my wife cuz she ate the last package of dunkaroos

 

[fred_1_15301]

For people complaining about the cleaning ... why no maid?  They are cheap as dirt.  We have a group that cleans out house for $180 every 2 weeks.  Typical suburban DC house.  It takes them 5 hours and it's great.  It would take us 20 hours and we'd do a worse job.  No dust.  No cleaning toilets or tubs.  Sparkling kitchen. No whining between me and the missus.  I #####ed about the cost at first.  But after one month of it, I would never go back to worrying about it myself.  We'd rather spend the time doing other things.

Yup this is where we are as well.  It's wonderful.  But we digress........

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

For people complaining about the cleaning ... why no maid?  They are cheap as dirt.  We have a group that cleans out house for $180 every 2 weeks.  Typical suburban DC house.  It takes them 5 hours and it's great.  It would take us 20 hours and we'd do a worse job.  No dust.  No cleaning toilets or tubs.  Sparkling kitchen. No whining between me and the missus.  I #####ed about the cost at first.  But after one month of it, I would never go back to worrying about it myself.  We'd rather spend the time doing other things.

LOOK AT ME I HAVE HIRED HELP!!!!!

j/k, we do this as well, it frees up a lot of wasted time.

 

[Rick James]

Wife will not eat anything if it is past the "sell by" date. Even stuff like mustard or soy sauce,that could survive a nuclear holocaust, she won't touch if it's a day past. Frustrates the hell out of me. 

 

[Pipes]

My wife hates empting the dishwasher..but enjoys oral sex so I have become an expert at putting away the dishes.

My wife's the exact opposite

 

[-OZ-]

For those of you who remember a George Carlin routine about skipping the first slice of bread in a loaf, my husband's family does that.  I thought Carlin was just making that up.  

Let your family eat the bad bread.  Who does that?

 I make my 6yo's PB&J sandwiches with the heels, butter the outside and turn it around.  He either doesn't care or hasn't figured it out yet.

 

[Zegras11]

My wife doesn't clean.  Like, at all.  We have two young kids and I swear she leaves more of a mess behind than they do.  If I let it out house would look like a frat house the morning after a party.

So yeah, not feeling so bad for you about the countertops.

My wife cleans all the time and will make sure it's extra clean the morning the two cleaners come in.

 

[fred_1_15301]

My wife cleans all the time and will make sure it's extra clean the morning the two cleaners come in.

Yeah my wife and I do an intense cleaning the night before our cleaners are scheduled to come     

 

[Interseptopus]

For those of you who remember a George Carlin routine about skipping the first slice of bread in a loaf, my husband's family does that.  I thought Carlin was just making that up.  

Let your family eat the bad bread.  Who does that?

I don't parciularily care for the "butts" of the bread on a typical sandwich. Grilled cheese is another story. I don't know why. Maybe I'm odd. 

For the OP... when you can't communicate trivial things to your spouse and you completely ignore the elephant in the room, eventually that elephant is taking a dump on your carpet. To summarize: just talk to her before things get way worse and you guys are having a complete meltdown over wiping counter tops off. 

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

My wife cleans all the time and will make sure it's extra clean the morning the two cleaners come in.

We do this as well. It comes down to this: I want them actually cleaning, not wasting time straightening up.

 

[Chapelboy]

I have a few complaints but in the spirit of the thread...

Any food item with a screw/twist top, she places the top on, but never actually twists the top closed. Instead it teeters on the top of the bottle or jar, waiting patiently for its next victim who lifts the bottle/jar and all the contents spill all over the place. 

I have come accustomed to her traps but it's still annoying. And stupid. Very stupid. 

How about putting back a box of cereal upside down?  And not really closing the top well, either....so when the next person takes out the box, the Cheerios end up all over the kitchen floor?

 

[Tom Servo]

My wife is usually great but she loves to make little deals into big deals.  Like seemingly innocuous "slights" she gets fired up about and just can't let them go.  And if I have to hear about her conversation with her mother and how her mother didn't ask about this or her mother said this and can you believe it, I may just have to continue to try to talk reason to her.

Never works though.

Your wife wouldn't be a redhead, would she?

 

[Peak]

inevitably, if my wife and I argue, it ends with her saying that I'm yelling at her (I'm not) or I'm being "rude" (possible, but usually just me stating my opinion)

Like most people, she doesn't like it when she doesn't get her way.  I probably do similar things when I don't.

I get the same reactions.  I talk in a normal voice and I'm yelling at her.  If she feels slighted in any way she "ends" the conversation by saying "I won't be talked to like that." Leaves me dumbfounded and frustrated.  I can't have a conversation with her without some condescending tone from her.  I swear she pushes my buttons just to get the chance to tell me I'm yelling or rude and she won't listen to it.

 

[mr. furley]

ITT people who think everyone else's approach to marriage/life is wrong, who also have their own petty complaints about stupid #### but think they are completely different

 

[mr. furley]

For people complaining about the cleaning ... why no maid?  They are cheap as dirt.  We have a group that cleans out house for $180 every 2 weeks.  Typical suburban DC house.  It takes them 5 hours and it's great.  It would take us 20 hours and we'd do a worse job.  No dust.  No cleaning toilets or tubs.  Sparkling kitchen. No whining between me and the missus.  I #####ed about the cost at first.  But after one month of it, I would never go back to worrying about it myself.  We'd rather spend the time doing other things.

nearly 5 grand a year to clean your house?

i'd rather go on vacation

 

[Pipes]

For people complaining about the cleaning ... why no maid?  They are cheap as dirt.  We have a group that cleans out house for $180 every 2 weeks.  Typical suburban DC house.  It takes them 5 hours and it's great.  It would take us 20 hours and we'd do a worse job.  No dust.  No cleaning toilets or tubs.  Sparkling kitchen. No whining between me and the missus.  I #####ed about the cost at first.  But after one month of it, I would never go back to worrying about it myself.  We'd rather spend the time doing other things.

We've looked into it but you still have the daily kitchen cleanup amongst other items.  I do like the idea of someone else cleaning our toilets and dusting though.

 

[Galileo]

OP reminds me of this... Things you don't say to your wife song - Tim Hawkins

 

[Hu-Tang Clan]

For people complaining about the cleaning ... why no maid?  They are cheap as dirt.  We have a group that cleans out house for $180 every 2 weeks.  Typical suburban DC house.  It takes them 5 hours and it's great.  It would take us 20 hours and we'd do a worse job.  No dust.  No cleaning toilets or tubs.  Sparkling kitchen. No whining between me and the missus.  I #####ed about the cost at first.  But after one month of it, I would never go back to worrying about it myself.  We'd rather spend the time doing other things.

So you live in a dirty/unkept house for about 3 weeks each month? 

 

[Zow]

I don't know the personality of his wife but some things are just not worth arguing over.  That's why my suggestion for him was to just clean the damn kitchen himself.  When I don't like the way my wife does something, I do it myself.  It keeps us both happy.  

Right. 

Heck, I know I do/don't do plenty more things that bug my wife than she does that bug me. But we both realize it's not worth the fight.  

 

[Interseptopus]

I don't know the personality of his wife but some things are just not worth arguing over.  That's why my suggestion for him was to just clean the damn kitchen himself.  When I don't like the way my wife does something, I do it myself.  It keeps us both happy.  

Right. 

Heck, I know I do/don't do plenty more things that bug my wife than she does that bug me. But we both realize it's not worth the fight.  

But if it irritates you to the degree that you have to vent to someone else about it (friend, family, therapist, message board), then it is worth talking over. If it becomes an argument, then yes it's not worth arguing over. But a simple- hey honey the scratchy side of the sponge scratches the appliances. Hey honey, when you find yourself cleaning up the kitchen and wiping everything down can you wipe the counters down real quick too? 

This could spark an argument, and if it starts to go down that way you just say, "it's not worth arguing over, I just didn't want it to become something bigger than it is so I just thought I'd mention it." And walk away... It takes two people to argue and if she over-reacts and you don't then it's not really an argument. 

Little things not worth arguing over, left to fester, will become little things that you eventually do argue over. 

 

[Van Dyman]

My wife cleans all the time and will make sure it's extra clean the morning the two cleaners come in.

Sounds ridiculous, yet I know my wife and she'd do that same ####### thing.

 

[nirad3]

My wife doesn't clean.  Like, at all.  We have two young kids and I swear she leaves more of a mess behind than they do.  If I let it out house would look like a frat house the morning after a party.

So yeah, not feeling so bad for you about the countertops.

+1

I pick up tissues, coffee mugs, food wrappers, cups, bowls, opened envelopes, you name it.

And the other day, after I had to leave early for work (and failed to do the dishes before I left), I got a pic texted to me of the sink with "nice".  I was fuming.  She works a few nights a week but otherwise, is home all day (kids in school 8-2 and 12-3, so she has time).  I do 90% of the cleaning.  I'm tempted to let the place go to hell and just keep my office/den orderly.

 

[DallasDMac]

And the other day, after I had to leave early for work (and failed to do the dishes before I left), I got a pic texted to me of the sink with "nice".  I was fuming.  She works a few nights a week but otherwise, is home all day (kids in school 8-2 and 12-3, so she has time).  I do 90% of the cleaning.  I'm tempted to let the place go to hell and just keep my office/den orderly.

Wow. No way in hell I'd let that one guy. No.... freaking.... way.

 

[Fear The Turtle]

ILMWB...I really wish she wouldn't start talking about our next around the house project when I'm in the midst of completing our CURRENT project. Wait til we finish one before we move on to the next! When I'm on a ladder fixing a pipe, I don't want to hear about how we're going to clean out the shed next, etc. I want: help, silence, constructive criticism about the current project, and so on. When we've finished then allow some time (minutes, hours, days) for us to digest it. Maybe sprinkle in a little praise (even fake praise). Then we'll move on to the next. 

 

[Judge Smails]

I would like to respond to this in general terms.

My wife has no problem confronting me about trivial things like this, but she also confronts me on bigger issues such as parenting our children. She will criticize the way that I handle things, how I treat each child differently, etc. And It basically boils down to the fact that she doesn't like the way that I do it. And every time she does this, we get into a heated discussion. And I have to admit that it makes me very angry. It's not that I have necessarily done anything wrong... it's just that she disagrees with how I handled it, or that she would have handled it a different way, or that I should handled it in a better way.

Imagine if I criticized her every time I disagreed with the way she does something. It would be a nightmare. And that's not why I don't do it. I don't do it because I know that we are two different personalities and two different ways of parenting. My wife is a pushover, and it makes me crazy. She does not apply consequences as harshly as I do. And as a result, the kids take advantage of that. And then my wife gets frustrated when the kids treat her with disrespect. But I would never criticize for how she deals with the kids. She knows why they treat her that way. I do not need to make matters worse. But somehow, it seems OK for my wife to do it to me.

But this explanation also applies to stupid stuff like cleaning counters too.

What do you do as a Dad when your kids treat their Mom with disrespect? That is a non-negotiable in my house.  No matter the reason.  Just my 2 cents.

I've seen differences in parenting styles causing divorces of 2 of my best friends. When one is soft and the other tries to hold them accountable it's a bad situation.  Good luck.

 

[Judge Smails]

My wife's the exact opposite

Says "Pipes" 

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

For those of you who remember a George Carlin routine about skipping the first slice of bread in a loaf, my husband's family does that.  I thought Carlin was just making that up.  

Let your family eat the bad bread.  Who does that?

I don't parciularily care for the "butts" of the bread on a typical sandwich. Grilled cheese is another story. I don't know why. Maybe I'm odd. 

I'm not talking about the end bits.  I'm talking about skipping the normal slices of bread.

 

[Interseptopus]

I'm not talking about the end bits.  I'm talking about skipping the normal slices of bread.

That's odd. I can't see a logical reason for skipping the first piece. 

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

That's odd. I can't see a logical reason for skipping the first piece. 

Neither could I.  It seems to be some kind of bread shield.