King Cobra with $1 Million on His Neck!!!!1!1!!! (1 Viewer)

[eoMMan]

Would you take him on?

You're in a room with him.

You have no weapons  (no shovels, no boots, etc.....you're naked).

He has a $1 million check tied around his neck and the check is made out to you. The check will be null and void unless you take it from Mr. Snake.

You have no idea if there is any anti-venom close by. You were put in the room and have no idea where you are.

The snake is a biiiiiiiiiig snake. 

He's taunting you by hissing and sshhhhing and calling your mom a whore.

What do you do?  What do you do?

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d0/c1/2a/d0c12a07a4d81ba66e19bab2d83835a4.jpg

 

[Jules Winnfield]

I use a summoning spell and call forth

Riki-Tiki-Tavi

 

[msudaisy26]

Whistle until he falls into a hypnotic trance then walk over and grab the check. 

 

[RandyDB]

grab him by the throat and twist his head off. Take the check and live happily ever after.

 

[-OZ-]

Would you take him on?

You're in a room with him.

You have no weapons  (no shovels, no boots, etc.....you're naked).

He has a $1 million check tied around his neck and the check is made out to you. The check will be null and void unless you take it from Mr. Snake.

You have no idea if there is any anti-venom close by. You were put in the room and have no idea where you are.

The snake is a biiiiiiiiiig snake. 

He's taunting you by hissing and sshhhhing and calling your mom a whore.

What do you do?  What do you do?

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d0/c1/2a/d0c12a07a4d81ba66e19bab2d83835a4.jpg

So I'm obviously in slytherin. No problem. 

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I would befriend the snake and share the million dollars with him.  We would go on adventures all over the world...mostly banging whores in Southeast Asia, but still some pretty great adventures.

 

[ShamrockPride]

Summon a mongoose.

 

[Cjw_55106]

I would befriend the snake and share the million dollars with him.  We would go on adventures all over the world...mostly banging whores in Southeast Asia, but still some pretty great adventures.

Sorry Homer. When the last whore told you your snake wasn't big enough, this isn't quite what she meant. 

 

[Scoresman]

Distract it with my snake-like, humongous penis. It will think my dong is trying to mate with it and thus be distracted enough for me to grab the check.

Hopefully snake sex doesn't involve biting. 

 

[Long Ball Larry]

Distract it with my snake-like, humongous penis. It will think my dong is trying to mate with it and thus be distracted enough for me to grab the check.

Hopefully snake sex doesn't involve biting. 

um, don't snakes reproduce asexually?

 

[Dedfin]

Tell the cobra we can chop the pot.  Badaboom. 

Easy 500k

 

[Mister CIA]

King cobra, maybe; black mamba, not so much.

 

[comfortably numb]

I honestly thought this was about some new rapper I never heard of wearing 1M worth if bling 

 

[Scoresman]

um, don't snakes reproduce asexually?

So it'll be a virgin? Piece of cake then. 

 

[Cookiemonster]

I ain't scerred.  If I can drink Steel Reserve, I KNOW I can drink King Cobra.  Malt liquor may taste like ####, but at least it can make me act like an #######.

 

[Reg Lllama of Brixton]

Cobras are actually slow strikers.  Easy money.

 

[The Future Champs]

King cobras are overrated.

 

[Chaka]

Yeah, this one is not the big deal you thought it was when you came up with the question.

 

[Willie Neslon]

If I'm naked then it's cobra vs. cobra. I'll take my chances.

 

[Kafka]

I use a summoning spell and call forth

Riki-Tiki-Tavi

Awesome.

 

[Kafka]

Cobras are actually slow strikers.  Easy money.

Take it to the soccer thread...

 

[AAABatteries]

Why am I naked?

 

[Jules Winnfield]

King cobra, maybe; black mamba, not so much.

Can't just be Mamba can it? You just have to bring race into it

 

[MarvinTScamper]

Pre-tax?  US $?   That's not a lot of money anymore....

 

[DaVinci]

My body is a weapon. 

 

[Courtjester]

I distract it by peeing on it and then go in for the kill. 

Downside is I then have to take a urine soaked check to the bank. 

 

[Capella]

Run like the ##### that I am ?? 

 

[DaVinci]

I distract it by peeing on it and then go in for the kill. 

Downside is I then have to take a urine soaked check to the bank. 

Deposit it at an ATM. It has a built in wringer. 

 

[James Daulton]

Why am I naked?

You really need to ask that question?

 

[AAABatteries]

You really need to ask that question?

 

 

[The General]

He'd be intimidated by my giant python swinging around. Prolly just give me the check.

 

[NotSmart]

Why am I naked?

It brings the wang strike into play.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Pay a snake charmer $100 (year salary) to do it for me and take the credit.  

 

[WilliamBonney]

Randy Savage got bit my Jake Roberts' KC and lived. 

 

[FreeBaGeL]

This is FBGs.  $1mil is not enough.  That won't even change most of our lives significantly.

To fight a friggin king cobra I'm gonna need enough money that I can stop working and do whatever I want the rest of my life.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I understand them to be fairly docile unless you really **** with them.  Faster when agitated.

Does the room have a thermostat?  Turn it to max cool.  Then use my Hands of Stone to knock out some drywall and rip out a stud.  Now the room has weapons and the king cobra is well on its way to becoming a hat band. 

 

[Dr Oadi]

Would you take him on?

You're in a room with him.

You have no weapons  (no shovels, no boots, etc.....you're naked).

He has a $1 million check tied around his neck and the check is made out to you. The check will be null and void unless you take it from Mr. Snake.

You have no idea if there is any anti-venom close by. You were put in the room and have no idea where you are.

The snake is a biiiiiiiiiig snake. 

He's taunting you by hissing and sshhhhing and calling your mom a whore.

What do you do?  What do you do?

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d0/c1/2a/d0c12a07a4d81ba66e19bab2d83835a4.jpg

Do I get flute lessons from some creepy old Indian first?

 

[eoMMan]

Any other internet tough guys think they can overcome a King Cobra?

I think many of you will end up like this:

https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2008/07/snakebite.jpg

 

[Gustavo Fring]

One Chuck Norris roundhouse should do the trick.

 

[Bucky86]

Quickly grab him by the tail and swing him against the wall as hard as I can. Repeat as necessary until he's a bloody mess.

 

[playin4beer]

Time limit??

He's gotta fall asleep sometime, right?

 

[AAABatteries]

Time limit??

He's gotta fall asleep sometime, right?

Don't you?

 

[playin4beer]

Don't you?

For a million dollars??  no...

 

[Snorkelson]

Naked with no weapons, don't really have a choice but to take it on. Or have to walk out of the room, naked and penniless.

 

[El Floppo]

I honestly thought this was about some new rapper I never heard of wearing 1M worth if bling 

pretty sure it's a beastie boys lyric.