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Learning with Dad (1 Viewer)

How often do you get to play golf?  Is there a course nearby and is it some what affordable?

I'd like to try this with my son in a few years - once my daughter can drive it will free up some golfing time.  The local municipal course lets juniors play for free with a paying parent.
We live on a golf course so she can spend as much time playing or practicing as she wants.    

 
curious about sumn. 

tho i still think the society would be better off with the old orientation of kids being expected to please parents at least as much as parents please kids, i guess it is nice, if you got it, to give your children everything they want & more, just as it is nice to have quartz countertops and cars that park themselves..

i'm wondering, though, if there are parents out there who got it but won't. is it just automatic that if you can fade the 8 large, the kids - talent or not - get dance if they want it? if there are multiple options of things to do, must they choose between them as a point of moral judgement & restraint, or do parents schlep for it all as a simple matter of expectation.

i guess what i'm asking is "is it more right for middle-class kids to grow up expecting everything they want than not?"
We don't have a lot to put at camps and whatnot for our kids, but I don't want to do anymore than we already do.  We probably spend about 1-2 thousand a year on various camps and activities.  My son is 10 and daughter is 7 and they really only do a handful of camps and sports leagues per year.  They get a lot of time at our local fitness center gym and a lot of time playing with friends and cousins at the neighborhood pools.  We have passes to the nearest theme park (Silver Dollar City) that we got for Christmas and I think I'm more excited by that than either of them.  Our yard is big and wooded and the neighborhood is bike friendly, so there will be lots of days spent just exploring around the yard and neighborhood.

I think the lesson that you don't need top of the line stuff to be content is more valuable than any uberOMGawesome-camp experience.  Life is best with good company and a comfortable place to be together and just find stuff to do together.

 
are there shop classes anywhere anymore? not vocational - boys had mandatory wood & metal shop in grades 7/8 (while girls had home ec, i think transgenders had plumbing....) backinaday

 
Good stuff.

I was sitting around yesterday, and my 9 yo starts digging through my scrap wood. I had taught him to use an old-fashioned hand saw the other day.

Anyway, I'm not really paying attention, and he's measuring wood and using the saw and everything. Next thing you know, he comes to me and says:

"I need to you to drill these 6 screws into my wood pieces so I can finish my table."

Sure as ####, he had designed this small table that we can take to fish camp this year so he can lay out the lures he and I make. Cut all the wood himself - all I had to do was assemble it. It's a pretty nice little table. Not perfect, but beautiful in my eyes. We then painted the top and stained the legs. Pretty cool to see him do that.
That's awesome.

 
This past winter I cooked a meal with my son. He picked out the meal, and we made it together. He's 12. I decided I need him to know basics of how to cook meals by the time he goes off to college. This summer he's going to learn how to light the charcoal grill and cook burgers and brats. We'll go camping and fishing several times, usually combined with trail biking. I've read to him essentially every night I've been home (when sober) since he was 3 or so and that will continue. We just started LOTR.
My son (6) has decided that for work when he grows up he's going to be: Peyton Manning on Sundays, a robot engineer on Mondays, a chef/restauranteur on Tuesdays, some sort of scientist on Wednesdays, and then he's going to take the rest of the week off because he needs to be able to play with his friends.  I try to make sure all of his activities are "fun" although he does have a few small chores as well.  My wife has summers off so she takes care of a lot of the sports stuff during the week although I make sure to make it to all of his games.

Activities:

  • He cooks and grills with me all the time.  He's even earned some knife work (although with a duller knife and with both my hands over his).
  • We signed up for one of those monthly kits where they send you the tools needed and instructions for cool science experiments.
  • Swimming lessons 3x/week (going to Hawaii in July, want to make sure he's primed)
  • Jui Jitsu 1x/week
  • Soccer 2x/week (practice and game) for 8 weeks
  • Lacrosse 2x/week (practice and game) for 8 weeks after soccer
  • He wanted to start a garden so we've got some strawberry plants planted along with some hardy wildflowers (I've never grown anything in my life so we wanted to go with some things that were easier)
  • Hiking - We try to go on hikes every other weekend or so, about 4 miles round trip with a stop in the middle for lunch.  He carries a backpack with his water bottle and a couple granola bars with him.  During the hikes we play an alphabet game where we try to find an animal or plant that starts with A, then B, then C, etc..
  • Birthdays - He just finished kindergarten and I'm pretty sure 100% of his class was born in June or July... so many birthdays.
  • Bike rides - We took the training wheels off early this spring and he hounds us every day to go on a bike ride.  We do a 2-4 mile bike ride once a week or so.
  • Journal - He writes in his journal 3 or 4 times a week.  This is usually something small like "The best part of my day today was a bike ride with mom and dad".
Chores:

  • Make bed - every morning
  • Feed dogs - 2x/day
  • Put laundry away after my wife and/or I fold it - about 1x every 2 days
  • Clean up toys/room - 1x/day
  • Make sure the yard is clear of any toys before I mow - 1x/week
  • Clean his bathroom sink (he always has toothpaste on it) - 1x/week
 
are there shop classes anywhere anymore? not vocational - boys had mandatory wood & metal shop in grades 7/8 (while girls had home ec, i think transgenders had plumbing....) backinaday
My kids high school still has a bunch of these classes.  Small engines, wood working, etc etc.  They are all 100% optional, so I think the kids who take these classes by in large are those already exposed to and familiar with the subjects.  My kids went to private school, so I don't know what is the shop option there anymore.  I did have shop in both 7th grade (mandatory for boys and girls) and 8th grade (choose between shop and home ec).

 
13 yr. old daughter wants to play golf.  Just ordered some clubs - none of her friends live within walking distance so she needs something to keep her occupied this summer (though she does have cheerleading camp stuff).  

I hope she takes to it, though it certainly will give me a chance to spend that much more time with her.  I am lucky, we already spend a lot of time together watching tv shows (The Office/Parks & Rec) and playing card/board games.  
MY parents just downsized and moved into a condo community with a golf course. They have a member who offers free group lessons to kids on Wednesday nights.  So we signed both my 7 yr old son and 11 yr old daughter up for them.  I'm hoping they take to it b/c it would be great to be able to play with both of them as they get older and then onward. 

 
Can anyone quantify the return on dance class? We have the same thing in Nassau county. My niece and nephew are in some dance class where the teacher is an institution. Have to buy tickets to see your own kids perform and all that jazz (no pun intended). What's the payoff? Seems that that time, energy and money would have a possibility of a return if put into a sport, or any other activity that may result in a scholarship somewhere down the line. Are there schools giving out money to folks who took dance? My kid's 1 and I have another on the way, so am still trying to figure where time may be best spent.
dance classes are the suck...its like a right of passage for most little girls. 90% of the kids don't want to be there and is only there b/c mom wants them to do something or wants to brag about 'how good (insert name here) is' when they couldn't dance their way out of a paper bag. 

And this is coming from someone who has spent more time at dance-related crap then anyone here, my wife is a dancer and dance teacher, since well before we were dating 20+ years ago, and both my kids are enrolled in dance. 

Yes, as someone said, there is great exercise benefit from it...if you take it seriously. But that maybe 10-15% of the kids. I #### you not, there is a kid in my daughters classes who after class is over, goes into the lobby and her parents are there with 3-4 boxes of Poppa John's pizza from next door to take home after class.  

My daughter enjoys it and takes pride in it, so its something for her to do after school. She also figure skates and I don't have any long term aspirations for her other there either other then self esteem and enjoying doing something unique. 

My 7 year old son also dances, and the funny thing is for him, I see the long term benefit of that paying off when his 18+ and at the club in the middle of all the girls dancing while the other 'dudes' are too cool and backed up against the wall. 

 
dance classes are the suck...its like a right of passage for most little girls. 90% of the kids don't want to be there and is only there b/c mom wants them to do something or wants to brag about 'how good (insert name here) is' when they couldn't dance their way out of a paper bag. 

And this is coming from someone who has spent more time at dance-related crap then anyone here, my wife is a dancer and dance teacher, since well before we were dating 20+ years ago, and both my kids are enrolled in dance. 

Yes, as someone said, there is great exercise benefit from it...if you take it seriously. But that maybe 10-15% of the kids. I #### you not, there is a kid in my daughters classes who after class is over, goes into the lobby and her parents are there with 3-4 boxes of Poppa John's pizza from next door to take home after class.  

My daughter enjoys it and takes pride in it, so its something for her to do after school. She also figure skates and I don't have any long term aspirations for her other there either other then self esteem and enjoying doing something unique. 

My 7 year old son also dances, and the funny thing is for him, I see the long term benefit of that paying off when his 18+ and at the club in the middle of all the girls dancing while the other 'dudes' are too cool and backed up against the wall. 
My mom spent years begging me to take dance classes to help with my sports footwork and balance.  Probably would have helped, but I was too cool to even try it.  My sister took classes all the way through HS and taught some classes during college.  Good grief did I hate going to her recitals.  Even the hot chicks looked ridiculous with their hair ratcheted back into a bun and insane amounts of makeup.  The tight outfits didn't even help.  My parents probably spent several thousand $$'s on her dance classes and outfits through the years.  And that was in the late 80's/early 90's.

 
passively show them how to roll a joint so one day they can say, "You, alright?!?!?!  I learned it from watching you!I", and really mean it. 

 
I'm interested in something like this for my 13 and 15 year old sons.  Unfortunately I'm not really skilled in anything myself.  My parents were "self taught" as far as their handiness went, which was to say not very far.  I did get myself a new grill for an early fathers day present.  As I was putting it together (mainly using the power drill to do all the screws) I thought to myself I should be teaching my boys how to use the drill.  Beyond using the drill, yard work, and changing the oil in a car, I don't have a lot of skills to pass on.  The rest of what I do around the house, fix it wise, is just google and fumble through it.  Not exactly "skills" to pass on.
why in the world would you use a power drill for screws on a grill?  This sounds like the blind leading the blind here.  

 
My mom spent years begging me to take dance classes to help with my sports footwork and balance.  Probably would have helped, but I was too cool to even try it.  My sister took classes all the way through HS and taught some classes during college.  Good grief did I hate going to her recitals.  Even the hot chicks looked ridiculous with their hair ratcheted back into a bun and insane amounts of makeup.  The tight outfits didn't even help.  My parents probably spent several thousand $$'s on her dance classes and outfits through the years.  And that was in the late 80's/early 90's.
lol I hear ya. 

similar type of story: When I was doing my Disney College Program, we had a big formal at the end of the semester. One of my roommates was a rich kid, skinny dude from RI. Anyway, were are at the formal and I went to the lobby and see him at a grand piano playing away and an entire group of girls in formal gowns circling the whole piano and a chick on each side of the seat next to him. You could see the little hearts floating over their head.   

It was right there when I thought "I bet he hated getting dragged to stupid piano lessons as a kid, but is secretly thanking his mother right now"

Whenever i hear my wife say she's taking our son to dance class, I smile and think of that moment.  

but yea, the dance gets expensive. luckily my wife works at the studio so we get a good discount. And yes, most kids look absurd in those costumes. I've been to more recitals then I'll admit, ones with my wife where we were dating, then my kids. But true story, I proposed to my wife on stage after one of her recitals. Figure dance was important to her and it was a great memory. Plus, I will never forget the "awwwwwwww" sequel of 100 teenage girls from behind me when I did it on the stage. 

 
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I'm glad you enjoyed school so much.  Today my son has a scout day camp from 8:30 - 2:30.  He'll come home and chill before his baseball game at 6:00.  It is Taco Tuesday at Casa de Nugget, so we'll be cooking up some ground beef to go on his favorite doritos hard shell tacos.

The girl is still in bed at 10:00 am.  She has leadership training at the junior high from 12:30 - 3:45 for one of her school activities next year.  She will then come home and snapchat with her friends until it is time to whine about tacos.
Nothing personal, but let your kids summers be more organic. One of the best summers I ever had was me getting bodied on the basketball court by a maintenance man.

 
http://www.kiwicrate.com/ - I believe there are different types of boxes to sign up for (science, art, etc...) and different age groups within each type.
Got these for my 4 and 7 yo's.  I think we called it quits after 4 boxes.  I loved the idea, but some of the stuff was just crap.  Or maybe we were lazy and didn't give it a fair shot.  I thought it would be good, but I didn't see the benefit.  $20 for a box.  I bet it costs more to ship the box than the contents of the box itself. 

I tinker on this old VW Van I got a few years ago.  I always get the kids to "help" me.  My 4yo daughter knows her way thru a tool box better than my wife does.  I figure those skills have to come into play someday for her.

They like to pitch in with the gardening and composting. 

I always get my 7 yo son to give the uber driver a the tip.  Important to raise a good tipper. 

Need to get them to volunteer, but I think we're a couple of years away from that. 

 
Got these for my 4 and 7 yo's.  I think we called it quits after 4 boxes.  I loved the idea, but some of the stuff was just crap.  Or maybe we were lazy and didn't give it a fair shot.  I thought it would be good, but I didn't see the benefit.  $20 for a box.  I bet it costs more to ship the box than the contents of the box itself. 

I tinker on this old VW Van I got a few years ago.  I always get the kids to "help" me.  My 4yo daughter knows her way thru a tool box better than my wife does.  I figure those skills have to come into play someday for her.

They like to pitch in with the gardening and composting. 

I always get my 7 yo son to give the uber driver a the tip.  Important to raise a good tipper. 

Need to get them to volunteer, but I think we're a couple of years away from that. 
We have not gotten any in yet.  I'll post a follow up if I remember.

 
Nothing personal, but let your kids summers be more organic. One of the best summers I ever had was me getting bodied on the basketball court by a maintenance man.
What do you think an organic summer looks like for kids these days?  My son would be on the computer for 14 hours a day watching Stampy videos and YouTube game reviews while playing Roblox and Minecraft.  He would likely forget to eat all day or wear clothes.  

My daughter had a week off of ballet this week.  She just finished her Spring gala performances and starts summer dance intensives at KU next week.  Her group of friends pooled their money and rented studio space and hired a ballet teacher so that they could have extra instruction this week.  

If I want to check out and let them roam free, that is super easy.  I am trying to find ways to spend time with them while building character traits that I hope will improve their lives.

 
Was just discussing some structure for the summer for our 5 and 7 yr old. No fences probably but going to try "cleaning up your ####### legos", not painting the entire table while you "customize" your dolls ( daughters favorite thing) and watching YouTube for less than an hour.  We're going to need some serious effort from our low effort nanny to achieve anything better than full regression. I will need to manage the wifi and stuff bc despite her saying they'll be outside all the time the second it's hot she camps out on the couch. 

 
sbonomo said:
why in the world would you use a power drill for screws on a grill?  This sounds like the blind leading the blind here.  
40+ screws to hold the various pieces apart, you wouldn't use a drill with a low speed designed for turning screws?  Torque turned down to the lowest setting so it doesn't over tighten vs turning all these screws by hand?  Seems like a no brainer to me. :shrug:  

 
So I come home, and now he wants to make a matching stool for his table. He grabs some more scrap wood, measures out his pieces, and hand cuts 6 pieces.
I read this as "and cuts hand into 6 pieces", which is kind of how I was expecting the first story to go...

 
I think the best thing would be taking them on an extended camping trip. Bring essentials but mostly rough it and teach them survival skills ( build a fire, build shelter, fish, hunt, trap etc) . Fun and practical and could save their lives one day.

I grew up without a father and this is what I picture in my head of the perfect father/son activity.

 
 I mentioned our library in another thread - I am a big fan.  They have a program to encourage families to get outside:  Game of Gnomes

Basically you need to walk in 10 city parks and locate 21 spray painted gnomes.  Both my 9 year old and 13 year old are excited to do this.  Think this is a great way to get more time with the kids, get them off of the devices a bit more, and explore more of the city parks.  Really happy to see a couple local businesses sponsor some prizes for this and the library for taking the lead.

The boy makes his bed every morning now; the girl does after a subtle reminder.  Two weeks of dance intensive is in the books, baseball is going well, and there is a wooden privacy fence in the back yard.  The neighborhood kids are drinking all the chocolate milk we can buy and the trampoline is still surprisingly popular.  There is still way more screen time than I'd like to see, but it is what it is.

 

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