Living with someone who has Alzheimer's - anyone else? (1 Viewer)

[Copeman]

My aunt lived alone but she clearly was starting to fade.  We got her help to come every day but eventually she had a problem at night and that is when we made the decision to move her.

First place was a generic home for the old that had rehab facilities since she had a broken hip.

Once she recovered from the hip, then we moved into a very nice assisted living facility that specializes in only cognative issues (dementia etc).   Her memory is all but gone now, does not recognize any one in family but seems generally happy at the facility.

The cost is $9000 a month and is nothing like a nursing home.  These assisted living places are really nice.

How can places like this charge $9000 a friggin month?  How do they justify that cost?

 

[NewlyRetired]

How can places like this charge $9000 a friggin month?  How do they justify that cost?

Surprisingly, that cost was actually less than the nursing home that had the rehab facility per month.  That one was $12k a month.  It was more because it had skilled nursing on site.

$9k a month is the going rate for assisted facilities in my area of the country (Boston suburbs).

 

[Copeman]

Surprisingly, that cost was actually less than the nursing home that had the rehab facility per month.  That one was $12k a month.  It was more because it had skilled nursing on site.

$9k a month is the going rate for assisted facilities in my area of the country (Boston suburbs).

I just don't understand how they can charge that much.  That's crazy.  Don't see how it's justified.  Even with the meds and care given to the patients, you can't tell me it costs 108k or more per year.

 

[Keith R]

I just don't understand how they can charge that much.  That's crazy.  Don't see how it's justified.  Even with the meds and care given to the patients, you can't tell me it costs 108k or more per year.

Whether it's justifiable or not on a spreadsheet level, it's simply unattainable for the vast majority of those poor souls who need that level of care.

 

[[scooter]]

I just don't understand how they can charge that much.  That's crazy.  Don't see how it's justified.  Even with the meds and care given to the patients, you can't tell me it costs 108k or more per year.

The price is justified because people pay it.

Even the lower-rated places are going to charge a minimum of $6K per month for anything requiring hands-on care (dressing, toileting, medicating, etc.).

 

[CurlyNight]

24/7 care is expensive. My aunt was looking at 8k for her husband before he died. The area you live in is one difference. Where my friend's mom is it's 5k a mo. This includes the room rent and board which is 3k. The 2k a mo is the price for the level of care provided. She needs help with everything except she still can feed herself. On hospice it was just the room and board cost.

Assisted livings don't receive payment from state or federal. There are no investors and such. There are no fundraisers like at the hospital to get the latest mri scanner. 0. The buildings are old and not updated because the funds aren't there. The elevator where the mother is is a blast from the 60s. And yet the workers don't make good money. They have other jobs too. 

Anything to do with care is pricey. Seniors and the disabled suffer financially and many rely on social security or ss disability. I was surprised no insurance covers any of it. Just snf but that's only for medically necessary or rehab, not help with daily stuff. At least on hospice they cover this stuff and most personal care stuff too like diapers.

That's why if you are young like 20s it's in your best interest to buy long term care insurance. If I knew that I would have for myself. But the premiums for me now would be very expensive. Food for thought for those of you who have kids. Like retirement, they need to plan for assisted living services early.

 

[CurlyNight]

The price is justified because people pay it.

Even the lower-rated places are going to charge a minimum of $6K per month for anything requiring hands-on care (dressing, toileting, medicating, etc.).

Of course people pay it if they can, but it's not a price gouging place. 

 

[CurlyNight]

Terrible disease. My uncle had it and passed away today on his 75th birthday. Had been in a home over a year after my aunt couldn’t take care of him at home anymore. He’d progressively gotten worse over the past few weeks and it’s a blessing he finally let go. I’m hopeful with all the research being done that break throughs are coming soon. Nobody should have to see their loved ones go through it. GB all those who are and have.

Sorry for your loss. It's sad that many of wind up praying that a loved one passes soon to be put out of their misery.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

I just don't understand how they can charge that much.  That's crazy.  Don't see how it's justified.  Even with the meds and care given to the patients, you can't tell me it costs 108k or more per year.

I reckon that's because you have never really thought it through.  The place my mother stayed was excellent.  It cost about 80K/year.  They got mom up and dressed each morning.  They fed here breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  They took her to the toilet and cleaned her afterwards.  She was seen by a doctor once a week.  There were always nurses on duty.  Hospice was done in-house.  They provided activities every day.  And they did all that with kindness and respect twenty-four hours a day every single day.  You try doing that.

 

[CurlyNight]

I reckon that's because you have never really thought it through.  The place my mother stayed was excellent.  It cost about 80K/year.  They got mom up and dressed each morning.  They fed here breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  They took her to the toilet and cleaned her afterwards.  She was seen by a doctor once a week.  There were always nurses on duty.  Hospice was done in-house.  They provided activities every day.  And they did all that with kindness and respect twenty-four hours a day every single day.  You try doing that.

The caregiving profession is unfortunately underrated and for many, underpaid for what they do. 

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

The caregiving profession is unfortunately underrated and for many, underpaid for what they do. 

I figure under-paying virtually guarantees abuse.

 

[CurlyNight]

I figure under-paying virtually guarantees abuse.

That is a risk with the cheap facilities out there. Take a look at the medicaid nursing homes. As in everything in life, you get what you pay for.

 

[Copeman]

I reckon that's because you have never really thought it through.  The place my mother stayed was excellent.  It cost about 80K/year.  They got mom up and dressed each morning.  They fed here breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  They took her to the toilet and cleaned her afterwards.  She was seen by a doctor once a week.  There were always nurses on duty.  Hospice was done in-house.  They provided activities every day.  And they did all that with kindness and respect twenty-four hours a day every single day.  You try doing that.

I've thought it through.  It's still absurd.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

That is a risk with the cheap facilities out there. Take a look at the medicaid nursing homes. As in everything in life, you get what you pay for.

No, thank you.  My mother's greatest fear was ending up drooling in a nursing home, slumped over in a wheelchair in a hallway.  I made damn sure that didn't happen.  I had complete access 24 hours a day.  If I had a concern, it was addressed immediately.  They encouraged family and friends to come eat with their loved ones.  The food definitely was not dorm food.  I knew the facility was pretty nice because it never smelled medicinal or like old people.  People could bring their pets, and they kept some animals around for people to interact with.  Very nice.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

I've thought it through.  It's still absurd.

How much does it take to keep you for a year?  Assuming you aren't just eating ramen noodles.  Now imagine someone else doing everything you do for you.  If you want to cheap out, you will not get much.  It costs actual money for this kind of thing.

 

[Copeman]

How much does it take to keep you for a year?  Assuming you aren't just eating ramen noodles.  Now imagine someone else doing everything you do for you.  If you want to cheap out, you will not get much.  It costs actual money for this kind of thing.

It's a 24/7 operation.  "One" person does not do the job. Not "one" nurse.  Not "one" doctor.  The patients do not buy gas, do not pay car insurance, do not buy clothes, etc, etc. These nurses and doctors also tend to other people, who also pay that amount.  Break it down.

It's absurd.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

It's a 24/7 operation.  "One" person does not do the job. Not "one" nurse.  Not "one" doctor.  The patients do not buy gas, do not pay car insurance, do not buy clothes, etc, etc. These nurses and doctors also tend to other people, who also pay that amount.  Break it down.

It's absurd.

What do you mean, they don't buy clothes?  My mother sure did.

God help anyone you are responsible for.  Try pricing child daycare.

 

[Copeman]

What do you mean, they don't buy clothes?  My mother sure did.

God help anyone you are responsible for.  Try pricing child daycare.

Why did she buy clothes?

And excuse me?  I was responsible for my parents, both of whom went through this disease and I cared for them at home, each and every day.  I fed them, changed them, did everything for them, with the help of my siblings.  They were cared for at their home, with their family.  Not some strange place.  I also helped raise 3 daughters, 2 of whom went to daycare which SURPRISE...I I priced!  So f off.

 

[CurlyNight]

It's a 24/7 operation.  "One" person does not do the job. Not "one" nurse.  Not "one" doctor.  The patients do not buy gas, do not pay car insurance, do not buy clothes, etc, etc. These nurses and doctors also tend to other people, who also pay that amount.  Break it down.

It's absurd.

Most assisted living facilities don't have doctors or RNs onsite. So you are signing up with a home care agency to come to the facility. It's like making house calls. It's more expensive than you going to the doc's office. Then you have to pay rent for the room, board and whatever the level of care the person needs. Mother still gets PT. You can't just let the person wether away. The level of care for dementia pts is high. It's not easy for anyone. So it most certainly is not absurb. You need to factor in the level of care. It's not a simple business model like what you're thinking here.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Why did she buy clothes?

And excuse me?  I was responsible for my parents, both of whom went through this disease and I cared for them at home, each and every day.  I fed them, changed them, did everything for them, with the help of my siblings.  They were cared for at their home, with their family.  Not some strange place.  I also helped raise 3 daughters, 2 of whom went to daycare which SURPRISE...I I priced!  So f off.

So she would have something to wear.  (The goal was to make things as normal as possible.  No one sat around in a robe.  Everyone had people to interact with.)

You were fortunate to be physically able to care for your parents.  Not everyone can do that.  I sure couldn't.  (I don't have any siblings.)  

And it wasn't "some strange place".  It was about five minutes from my parents' house.  They did the job my dad could no longer do, and they did it with care and empathy.

 

[CurlyNight]

Why did she buy clothes?

And excuse me?  I was responsible for my parents, both of whom went through this disease and I cared for them at home, each and every day.  I fed them, changed them, did everything for them, with the help of my siblings.  They were cared for at their home, with their family.  Not some strange place.  I also helped raise 3 daughters, 2 of whom went to daycare which SURPRISE...I I priced!  So f off.

Not everyone is mentally and or physically equipped to do this. I know no one in my family could especially the older folks. You could do it with siblings help, lucky you. Don't be so quick to judge folks. That's why there are options. 

 

[Copeman]

Not everyone is mentally and or physically equipped to do this. I know no one in my family could especially the older folks. You could do it with siblings help, lucky you. Don't be so quick to judge folks. That's why there are options. 

I'm not judging, we were very fortunate to do what we could, I know that.  We did that only after finding out the costs of those places, which again, is absurd (you won't change my mind, I won't change yours).  I was simply replying to this Rannous person who questioned my ability do take care of anyone.

 

[Nick Vermeil]

I'm not judging, we were very fortunate to do what we could, I know that.  We did that only after finding out the costs of those places, which again, is absurd (you won't change my mind, I won't change yours).  I was simply replying to this Rannous person who questioned my ability do take care of anyone.

I can back this up. Copeman has taken care of me on countless campaigns. He’s good people  

And Mrs. Rannous is top drawer too!  Let’s hug this one out. 

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

I'm not judging, we were very fortunate to do what we could, I know that.  We did that only after finding out the costs of those places, which again, is absurd (you won't change my mind, I won't change yours).  I was simply replying to this Rannous person who questioned my ability do take care of anyone.

I'm sorry it came across that way.  It's not that I questioned your ability to take care of people, but rather that paying people not much better than minimum wage to do it was a good thing.

My mother's condition really improved under their care.  She was always comfortable and occupied as well as she could be.