DJackson10
Footballguy
TLDR: GF's sister BF is hitting her but she won't do anything about it. We just started dating 4 months ago and I don't know her family yet. Livinging situation with me is I live with my Parents not much room and haven't told my mother about the relationship. My GF also makes up stuff sometimes to see how I react but I saw some bruises on her which leads me to believe its real and from how she's reacting.
The gist my Girlfriend lives with her grandparents who's son is my GF's father. He's in the NAVY and works in Guam. Her parents are seperanted with mom living in VA and her up here in PA with her sister. Her Grandparents are strict. We've only been dating 4 months only met her mother not here father and trying to at some point before he leaves in the new year. We both work together.
Anyway my GF hates her sister boyfriend already and her family knows this. Her mom texted her about 2 months ago to tell her stop being "mean" to her sister and her boyfriend who she called an *******. Recently my GF started complaining about stomach pain. Ok I thought she was maybe going through her time of the month normal. Then she tells me this week it hurts again and was complaining about her back. She told me she started a new diet which seemed believable and then told me the other day she had a bruise on her. She watches her cousins a lot and said her cousin was playing a bit rough. she complained on Wednesday about a hand cramp or something only for me to find out
Today she told me it wasn't her cousin but her sister's boyfriend has been hitting her for a few weeks now. I asked if she told her Grandparents she said no and asked about her father. She said no one will believe her because they all like him. I've never met the guy but from what she describe to me he's your typical early-mid 2O's guy who acts like he's from the hood type, Wife beater shirts etc. She won't even tell me a name of this guy and he lives in NJ. I'm remained calmed but firmly asked her why she hadn't said anything to me. I know she has trust issues and insecurity etc which I'm working with her on stuff. One thing she does is make up stories and situations to see how I'd react to her for some reason. She says I'm easy to get too but I think she wants to see a reaction. I didn't believe her at first but did see a few markings on her that looked like possible she was hit or something.
She told me she didn't say anything to me because it wasn't like I would do anything. I told her don't believe that, because even if this was some other girl I'd do something. I'd love to just walk to her house and wait for the guy with a baseball bat and have and "conversation" with the guy if he lays another finger on a strain of her hair he gets to meet the bat personally, but I know I can't just walk over there when her grandparents or Dad are there, and I have never met them. IT wouldn't be a good first impression.
If I already knew her family well enough I'd be going over there and having a conversation about what they were going to do about this. I've also thought about her living with me till she finds the place she's looking for but I live with my parents right now and only my dad knows about her. I wasn't gonna tell my mom till I at least met her dad. We don't have a lot of space but I think if my parents knew the situation they'd be more then willing to make accommodations possible. I told her next time he hits her to also just call the cops. Her sister's boyfriend is apparently there every night too. She told me today now you know why I want to leave here so bad. No one apparently believes her and now her sisters BF thinks its a good idea to beat on her. Tonight she was in so much pain back wise she barely wanted to talk on video. I know a few local cops who could possible help out but not sure at what length they'd go without her filing a report.
We dealt with an issue at work where my coworker a few years ago was beat by her then biker boyfriend. She hadn't told us after it happened to a few days later. Our department manager was furious with the guy and wanted to help. There's also 2 other guys there who voiced support from helping her to wanting to hunt the guy down etc. I told my GF the story and that she has support and back up at work if she needs it. My boss I know would come running to aid if he had too.
I'm at a loss of what I should do. On one side I'm just sad this is happening to her as she's a great sweet girl and I think her family takes advantage of her. At the same time I'm pissed and want to put this guy 6 FT under but know I can't do that either and my options overall right now are limited. She's also my first steady girlfriend as well.
TIA For any advice
PSA: The other issue was taken care of with the coworker. We set boundaries he follows and my department manager apparently had a chat with him about it as well.
The gist my Girlfriend lives with her grandparents who's son is my GF's father. He's in the NAVY and works in Guam. Her parents are seperanted with mom living in VA and her up here in PA with her sister. Her Grandparents are strict. We've only been dating 4 months only met her mother not here father and trying to at some point before he leaves in the new year. We both work together.
Anyway my GF hates her sister boyfriend already and her family knows this. Her mom texted her about 2 months ago to tell her stop being "mean" to her sister and her boyfriend who she called an *******. Recently my GF started complaining about stomach pain. Ok I thought she was maybe going through her time of the month normal. Then she tells me this week it hurts again and was complaining about her back. She told me she started a new diet which seemed believable and then told me the other day she had a bruise on her. She watches her cousins a lot and said her cousin was playing a bit rough. she complained on Wednesday about a hand cramp or something only for me to find out
Today she told me it wasn't her cousin but her sister's boyfriend has been hitting her for a few weeks now. I asked if she told her Grandparents she said no and asked about her father. She said no one will believe her because they all like him. I've never met the guy but from what she describe to me he's your typical early-mid 2O's guy who acts like he's from the hood type, Wife beater shirts etc. She won't even tell me a name of this guy and he lives in NJ. I'm remained calmed but firmly asked her why she hadn't said anything to me. I know she has trust issues and insecurity etc which I'm working with her on stuff. One thing she does is make up stories and situations to see how I'd react to her for some reason. She says I'm easy to get too but I think she wants to see a reaction. I didn't believe her at first but did see a few markings on her that looked like possible she was hit or something.
She told me she didn't say anything to me because it wasn't like I would do anything. I told her don't believe that, because even if this was some other girl I'd do something. I'd love to just walk to her house and wait for the guy with a baseball bat and have and "conversation" with the guy if he lays another finger on a strain of her hair he gets to meet the bat personally, but I know I can't just walk over there when her grandparents or Dad are there, and I have never met them. IT wouldn't be a good first impression.
If I already knew her family well enough I'd be going over there and having a conversation about what they were going to do about this. I've also thought about her living with me till she finds the place she's looking for but I live with my parents right now and only my dad knows about her. I wasn't gonna tell my mom till I at least met her dad. We don't have a lot of space but I think if my parents knew the situation they'd be more then willing to make accommodations possible. I told her next time he hits her to also just call the cops. Her sister's boyfriend is apparently there every night too. She told me today now you know why I want to leave here so bad. No one apparently believes her and now her sisters BF thinks its a good idea to beat on her. Tonight she was in so much pain back wise she barely wanted to talk on video. I know a few local cops who could possible help out but not sure at what length they'd go without her filing a report.
We dealt with an issue at work where my coworker a few years ago was beat by her then biker boyfriend. She hadn't told us after it happened to a few days later. Our department manager was furious with the guy and wanted to help. There's also 2 other guys there who voiced support from helping her to wanting to hunt the guy down etc. I told my GF the story and that she has support and back up at work if she needs it. My boss I know would come running to aid if he had too.
I'm at a loss of what I should do. On one side I'm just sad this is happening to her as she's a great sweet girl and I think her family takes advantage of her. At the same time I'm pissed and want to put this guy 6 FT under but know I can't do that either and my options overall right now are limited. She's also my first steady girlfriend as well.
TIA For any advice
PSA: The other issue was taken care of with the coworker. We set boundaries he follows and my department manager apparently had a chat with him about it as well.