My marriage story (1 Viewer)

[Fly]

Well, blowing money on coke and heroin is one way to hide it.

 

[DSP]

Well, blowing money on coke and heroin is one way to hide it.

There was nothing to hide. It was all in cash. I wont use banks

 

[Balance]

First world problems.

 

[skol asylum]

Not exactly sure what you did so idiotic according to that story

well, some might argue that getting addicted to drugs and blowing through several racks isn't exactly mensa material.

Im very intelligent I just made some poor choicesI wasnt an addict I was temporarily self medicating because my world crumbled around me

Intelligent people are typically more likely to abuse drugs and studies have shown this

I hear Walgreens is hiring.

 

[DSP]

Not exactly sure what you did so idiotic according to that story

well, some might argue that getting addicted to drugs and blowing through several racks isn't exactly mensa material.

Im very intelligent I just made some poor choicesI wasnt an addict I was temporarily self medicating because my world crumbled around me

Intelligent people are typically more likely to abuse drugs and studies have shown this

I hear Walgreens is hiring.

Id rather be dead

 

[sho nuff]

Hey there guy

 

[DSP]

Hi

 

[ffball-novice]

black dot

 

[None_More_Black]

Were you not on disability? How did you get that? How did you get a commercial dl with a recent stint in rehab? Are you trying to be a limo driver or something.

 

[DSP]

Were you not on disability? How did you get that? How did you get a commercial dl with a recent stint in rehab? Are you trying to be a limo driver or something.

Ive been getting SSI since I was 12 because I have tourretes , depression and anxiety. Being disabled combined with rehab got me free driving lessons through a state program

Not all disabilities disqualify ypu from CDL. I passed my medical exams and I still get my disability til ive been working the same job for 3 months

 

[None_More_Black]

Good for you then, surprised you can get cdl with tourettes but maybe that explains my near misses with semis.

 

[DSP]

Good for you then, surprised you can get cdl with tourettes but maybe that explains my near misses with semis.

Mine isnt severe

 

[dickey moe]

I give this 2/10 abortions.

 

[fatness]

Librarian, a bit of help please. I believe this one is misfiled and belongs in the fiction section.

 

[DSP]

Librarian, a bit of help please. I believe this one is misfiled and belongs in the fiction section.

Ill come to a cornhole and provide all the proper documentation

None of this is fabricated. I have everything in writing

 

[3quinox]

Good for you man

 

[Fly]

I give this 2/10 abortions.

It's better than Filch's aunt/uncle/cousin disaster thread.

 

[Sarnoff]

That doesn't sound so bad.

I'm actually surprised the OP got out of child support after the paternity test. In many cases, paternity doesn't matter, "best interests of the child" are that someone pays and the court only cares about who they can find. Plenty of dudes end up supporting kids that are known not to be their own.

Really? Her lawyer took it out of the paperwork. Im not on the birth certificate. If she had still pursued it I could have had to pay for a child that isnt mine?

How does this happen?

This isn't true. I hardly think the best interest of the child is giving it to a guy who is not the father and has never had any contact with the child, who further was lied to by the gal who said she wasn't going to have it. Much better off placing the child up for adoption if the mother is unable to care for the kid.

I've always heard Family Court is always going to say "best interests of the child" is living with the mother and having someone mail them a bonus check every month. If it's not the biological father, but the "real" dad can't be found, too bad... especially if the child was born during a marriage.

Of course, it depends on the state. It looks like this can still happen in Arkansas after Martin v. Pierce, and, in Georgia (although it appears an amendment recently changed it if the non-father can properly get it applied within 90 days):

ATLANTA -- Larry Durden, an unemployed mason worker, told Channel 2 Action News reporter Tom Regan that he is being threatened with jail time if he doesn’t continue paying child support for a child he says is not his biological son.Durden, who says he is the victim of paternity fraud --- the act of falsely naming a man as the biological father of a child, said he assumed the boy was his son for 10 1/2 years. "I mean, he looked like me. I thought he looked like me," said Durden. But a few months ago, Durden said he started having doubts, and contacted a DNA testing lab. He took a paternity test and the results took him by surprise.

"It said "0"… he's not mine. So you know, that hurt … it grabbed me," said Durden. Despite genetic evidence that Durden didn't father the boy, the state is forcing him to continue paying $500 a month in child support. And he's far from alone.

A bill to fix this in Tennessee failed, leaving non-fathers on the hook.

This also came up with the Schwarzenegger affair in California:

THE Arnold Schwarzenegger paternity case has revealed a large flaw in California family law, one which, ironically, Schwarzenegger attempted to fix while governor.

The flaw? Schwarzenegger fathered a child with a household staff member, who was married at the time. Under California law, Schwarzenegger wouldn't be obligated to pay a dime in child support - but the deceived husband would be.

Currently the only person who can be held legally responsible to support the child is the mother's then-husband, who is presumed to be the father because the child was born into the marriage. Judges routinely (and at times apologetically) saddle such "duped dads" with stiff child support orders. In one paternity fraud case, Arthur Gilbert, presiding judge of the Second District, Division 6 Court of Appeal, wrote:

"I reluctantly concur with the majority. Once again I vent my frustration over the state of law in paternity cases....I would reverse the judgment - if I could. But I cannot."

Here's an article from Reason on the issue from '04.

The systems for establishing paternity and providing child support are replete with legal deadlines that vary from state to state. Besides having 30 days to respond to a paternity complaint, an accused father in California has 180 days to contest a child support order and two years from birth to challenge paternity using DNA evidence (unless he has signed a voluntary declaration of paternity in the hospital under the federal government's new Paternity Opportunity Program, in which case he has just 60 days). If, for what-ever reasons, any of these deadlines aren't met, no amount of evidence can move the state to review the case; the DCSS has to be sued. Unlike capital murder convictions, which are being overturned around the country because of DNA evidence, family court cases typically hew to the "finality of judgment" principle to prevent disruptions in children's lives. Or, in the words of former California legislator Rod Wright, "It ain't your kid, you can prove it ain't your kid, and they say, 'So what?'"

That's how a man like Taron James could be slapped with a support bill for thousands of dollars from Los Angeles County in 2002, and continue to be barred from using his notary public license, even after producing convincing DNA evidence and notarized testimony from the mother that her 11-year-old son, whom he's seen exactly once and looks nothing like, is not his child and that she no longer seeks his support. James says his name was placed on the child's birth certificate without his consent while he was on a Navy tour of duty; then the mother refused to take blood tests for eight years, and he became aware of a default order against him only when the Department of Motor Vehicles refused to issue him a driver's license in October 1996. By that time, James had missed all the relevant deadlines, the court was unimpressed with his tale of woe, and he has since coughed up $14,000 in child support via liens and garnishments.

"I contact Child Support Services, and their whole thing is, 'Take us to court. You don't like what we're doing, take us to court,'" he says. "Whether or not you're the biological father doesn't matter -- if someone's got your name, and you've...failed to participate in the court date, then you have an obligation to pay child support, period."

...

Meanwhile, courts across the country are trying to redraw the legal lines of paternity now that genetic testing and welfare reform are colliding with 500 years of common law tradition, which has presumed that all children born in a marriage are the husband's responsibility, whether or not he is the biological father. In May 2003, the New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that men who have admitted paternity, even if the mother lied to them, are not allowed to introduce DNA evidence to challenge support orders.

 

[DSP]

That doesn't sound so bad.

I'm actually surprised the OP got out of child support after the paternity test. In many cases, paternity doesn't matter, "best interests of the child" are that someone pays and the court only cares about who they can find. Plenty of dudes end up supporting kids that are known not to be their own.

Really? Her lawyer took it out of the paperwork. Im not on the birth certificate. If she had still pursued it I could have had to pay for a child that isnt mine?How does this happen?

This isn't true. I hardly think the best interest of the child is giving it to a guy who is not the father and has never had any contact with the child, who further was lied to by the gal who said she wasn't going to have it. Much better off placing the child up for adoption if the mother is unable to care for the kid.

I've always heard Family Court is always going to say "best interests of the child" is living with the mother and having someone mail them a bonus check every month. If it's not the biological father, but the "real" dad can't be found, too bad... especially if the child was born during a marriage.

Of course, it depends on the state. It looks like this can still happen in Arkansas after Martin v. Pierce, and, in Georgia (although it appears an amendment recently changed it if the non-father can properly get it applied within 90 days):

ATLANTA -- Larry Durden, an unemployed mason worker, told Channel 2 Action News reporter Tom Regan that he is being threatened with jail time if he doesnt continue paying child support for a child he says is not his biological son.

Durden, who says he is the victim of paternity fraud --- the act of falsely naming a man as the biological father of a child, said he assumed the boy was his son for 10 1/2 years. "I mean, he looked like me. I thought he looked like me," said Durden. But a few months ago, Durden said he started having doubts, and contacted a DNA testing lab. He took a paternity test and the results took him by surprise.

"It said "0" he's not mine. So you know, that hurt it grabbed me," said Durden. Despite genetic evidence that Durden didn't father the boy, the state is forcing him to continue paying $500 a month in child support. And he's far from alone.

A bill to fix this in Tennessee failed, leaving non-fathers on the hook.

This also came up with the Schwarzenegger affair in California:

THE Arnold Schwarzenegger paternity case has revealed a large flaw in California family law, one which, ironically, Schwarzenegger attempted to fix while governor.

The flaw? Schwarzenegger fathered a child with a household staff member, who was married at the time. Under California law, Schwarzenegger wouldn't be obligated to pay a dime in child support - but the deceived husband would be.

Currently the only person who can be held legally responsible to support the child is the mother's then-husband, who is presumed to be the father because the child was born into the marriage. Judges routinely (and at times apologetically) saddle such "duped dads" with stiff child support orders. In one paternity fraud case, Arthur Gilbert, presiding judge of the Second District, Division 6 Court of Appeal, wrote:

"I reluctantly concur with the majority. Once again I vent my frustration over the state of law in paternity cases....I would reverse the judgment - if I could. But I cannot."

Here's an article from Reason on the issue from '04.

The systems for establishing paternity and providing child support are replete with legal deadlines that vary from state to state. Besides having 30 days to respond to a paternity complaint, an accused father in California has 180 days to contest a child support order and two years from birth to challenge paternity using DNA evidence (unless he has signed a voluntary declaration of paternity in the hospital under the federal government's new Paternity Opportunity Program, in which case he has just 60 days). If, for what-ever reasons, any of these deadlines aren't met, no amount of evidence can move the state to review the case; the DCSS has to be sued. Unlike capital murder convictions, which are being overturned around the country because of DNA evidence, family court cases typically hew to the "finality of judgment" principle to prevent disruptions in children's lives. Or, in the words of former California legislator Rod Wright, "It ain't your kid, you can prove it ain't your kid, and they say, 'So what?'"

That's how a man like Taron James could be slapped with a support bill for thousands of dollars from Los Angeles County in 2002, and continue to be barred from using his notary public license, even after producing convincing DNA evidence and notarized testimony from the mother that her 11-year-old son, whom he's seen exactly once and looks nothing like, is not his child and that she no longer seeks his support. James says his name was placed on the child's birth certificate without his consent while he was on a Navy tour of duty; then the mother refused to take blood tests for eight years, and he became aware of a default order against him only when the Department of Motor Vehicles refused to issue him a driver's license in October 1996. By that time, James had missed all the relevant deadlines, the court was unimpressed with his tale of woe, and he has since coughed up $14,000 in child support via liens and garnishments.

"I contact Child Support Services, and their whole thing is, 'Take us to court. You don't like what we're doing, take us to court,'" he says. "Whether or not you're the biological father doesn't matter -- if someone's got your name, and you've...failed to participate in the court date, then you have an obligation to pay child support, period."

...

Meanwhile, courts across the country are trying to redraw the legal lines of paternity now that genetic testing and welfare reform are colliding with 500 years of common law tradition, which has presumed that all children born in a marriage are the husband's responsibility, whether or not he is the biological father. In May 2003, the New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that men who have admitted paternity, even if the mother lied to them, are not allowed to introduce DNA evidence to challenge support orders.

You are scaringbthe living crap outnof me. I live in NY. The baby does not have my last name nor am I on the birth certificate. Arizona child services contacted me and ordered a paternity test. The results were negative and I was removed from the child welfare case. Now the divorce paperwork was changed no longer asking for anything and placing the blame on my wife for adultery because I have proof documenting she had someone elses child. Im signing and notarizing the papers tommorow and sending them to her lawyer so he can file them and we never have to fourt anymore and it will be over

Do I have to worry abput getting hit for back child support in the future if they never find who the real father is? I gave ACS the names of twp guys I knew of but they couldnt be located and their rights were terminated

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Isn't class b a bus driver ?

Where do you think he met the 18 year old?

 

[MCguidance]

Seriously?

 

[VA703]

 

[spOOfy]

Not exactly sure what you did so idiotic according to that story

well, some might argue that getting addicted to drugs and blowing through several racks isn't exactly mensa material.

yeah getting addicted ti drugs only happens to dumb people

i didn't say that. you said he didn't do anything idiotic. he said he took hard drugs and blew through 10 grand (on those drugs) in a month. that is something idiotic. it doesn't make him an idiot, but it does mean he did something idiotic. just like your reply was idiotic.

 

[fred_1_15301]

I had a good job making almost a grand a week

How cute.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

I don't think so in this case. DSP posted some honest sounding things in a Suicide thread in last few days.

Good luck to you DSP. Best to you going forward.

 

[Apple Jack]

Hey, some people "waste" ten grand on gambling, the wrong women, lame vacations, or whatever. At least you got high for it.

 

[shadyridr]

Hey DSP, how did you go from long time lurker to blasting the board with tons of posts in a span of days?

 

[trogg78]

I'll take the kid. I love kids.

 

[DSP]

Isn't class b a bus driver ?

Bus and small trucks

 

[DSP]

Hey DSP, how did you go from long time lurker to blasting the board with tons of posts in a span of days?

Ive lurked on a lot of football message boards over the years. Always enjoyed reading them and I just got bored and joined a couple of them to talkIm on the giants board to talk football and this one for everything else. This by far the funniest board ive ever seen

 

[DSP]

I had a good job making almost a grand a week

How cute.

Its pretty easy to make that much if your handsome and waiting tables at an expensive seafood restaurant in the summer. $150 is a slow night

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Hey DSP, how did you go from long time lurker to blasting the board with tons of posts in a span of days?

Ive lurked on a lot of football message boards over the years. Always enjoyed reading them and I just got bored and joined a couple of them to talkIm on the giants board to talk football and this one for everything else. This by far the funniest board ive ever seen

We appreciate your low standards.

 

[DSP]

Hey DSP, how did you go from long time lurker to blasting the board with tons of posts in a span of days?

Ive lurked on a lot of football message boards over the years. Always enjoyed reading them and I just got bored and joined a couple of them to talkIm on the giants board to talk football and this one for everything else. This by far the funniest board ive ever seen

We appreciate your low standards.

I have pretty high standards when it comes to what makes me laugh. FBG is head and shoulders above the rest

 

[shader]

I'm glad she didn't kill the kid as you asked her to.

 

[DSP]

I'm glad she didn't kill the kid as you asked her to.

Shes a sociopath who last I heard was dating a wanted drug dealer and smoking heroin. If she ever gets the kid back he may have been better off being aborted

She will be bringing more children she cant care for in to the world soon enough

Ifbhe had turned out to be mine I was prepared to do what I had to to take custody and care for him. I cooperated with CPS fully from the day they cpntacted me

 

[Apple Jack]

I'm glad she didn't kill the kid as you asked her to.

You tell him, gomer.

 

[DSP]

I'm glad she didn't kill the kid as you asked her to.

You tell him, gomer.

Abortion saves more lives than it ends

 

[Guster]

I'll take the kid. I love kids.

don't you have enough of your own??

 

[TheIronSheik]

Is it Friday already?

 

[Keerock]

I'm glad she didn't kill the kid as you asked her to.

Shes a sociopath who last I heard was dating a wanted drug dealer and smoking heroin. If she ever gets the kid back he may have been better off being aborted

She will be bringing more children she cant care for in to the world soon enough

Ifbhe had turned out to be mine I was prepared to do what I had to to take custody and care for him. I cooperated with CPS fully from the day they cpntacted me

I take care of my kids...

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

I'm glad she didn't kill the kid as you asked her to.

You tell him, gomer.

Abortion saves more lives than it ends.

This is a ridiculous assertion. In every abortion a life is lost, is there some deep philosophical nugget that somehow the sum of those lives lost is not equal to the mother's life that is saved? You cannot argue that it is not life being taken...you can argue whether or not that living organism is worth protecting but you cannot deny it is a living organism.

 

[Apple Jack]

The bacteria in my colon are living organisms.

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

The bacteria in my colon are living organisms.

Not my point - he said it saves more lives than it ends.

 

[DSP]

I'm glad she didn't kill the kid as you asked her to.

You tell him, gomer.

Abortion saves more lives than it ends.

This is a ridiculous assertion. In every abortion a life is lost, is there some deep philosophical nugget that somehow the sum of those lives lost is not equal to the mother's life that is saved? You cannot argue that it is not life being taken...you can argue whether or not that living organism is worth protecting but you cannot deny it is a living organism.

I really dont want to get in to this and I dont think anyone else does either. I shouldnt have responded

 

[cstu]

For the record I dont regret the drug use. If I didnt medicate myself it is very possible I would have taken my own life. They actually saved my life and in the end gave me some clarity

Good to hear this story has a happy ending. Sincerely.

 

[cstu]

I'm glad she didn't kill the kid as you asked her to.

Shes a sociopath who last I heard was dating a wanted drug dealer and smoking heroin. If she ever gets the kid back he may have been better off being aborted

She will be bringing more children she cant care for in to the world soon enough

Ifbhe had turned out to be mine I was prepared to do what I had to to take custody and care for him. I cooperated with CPS fully from the day they cpntacted me

This is why guys should post their stories here BEFORE they get married and knock a girl up. I'd bet my life savings that you knew this girl was trouble before you even married her.

 

[Papa Georgio]

www.nomarriage.com

I thought you had retired this?

 

[DSP]

I'm glad she didn't kill the kid as you asked her to.

Shes a sociopath who last I heard was dating a wanted drug dealer and smoking heroin. If she ever gets the kid back he may have been better off being abortedShe will be bringing more children she cant care for in to the world soon enough

Ifbhe had turned out to be mine I was prepared to do what I had to to take custody and care for him. I cooperated with CPS fully from the day they cpntacted me

This is why guys should post their stories here BEFORE they get married and knock a girl up. I'd bet my life savings that you knew this girl was trouble before you even married her.

Im from the bronx and she is from merrick long island. I knew nothing about her except what she told me. I had no way of knowing til she dropped the bomb on me

 

[Papa Georgio]

I cringe reading peoples horror stories about relationships. Try to not base your happiness on having a woman or not. I've done that and luckily with age I've realized how silly I've been. Anyway, glad things are going great, sounds like she was a total winner and you are better off.

 

[trogg78]

I'll take the kid. I love kids.

don't you have enough of your own??

My wife will let me know when we have enough. I feel bad for the kid.