*Official Adoption Thread* (2 Viewers)

[Follows Closely]

...

Do you know if you'll be receiving you state payment every month still and will you child be on medicare till 18?

Medicare reason we are looking forward to when our three foster kid are officially our and are adopted. Then we can dump medicare and add them to my policy. We have had a hard time finding doctors willing to take new medicare patients. The policy coverage is adequate, it is just hard to find willing participants in medicare.For those that have adopted out of the foster system:

[*]Did you keep the medicare?

[*]Why did you or did you not?

We have been told here in VA that we will not be able to use Medicare. One less decision for us to make.

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As a conservative I'm outraged. As an adoptive parent who has spent a ton of money, I won't refuse it.

The money will kick start a 529 for the new legal members in our home.

Can't believe it's been almost two years since our son was born and we adopted him. A great two years for sure!

After four years in the foster system (three with us) we are finally to the point of adoption. From those who have adopted via the foster system, any advice?

Did you get your own lawyer instead of the paid for one?

Did you have a ceremony?

...

 

[CrossEyed]

...

Do you know if you'll be receiving you state payment every month still and will you child be on medicare till 18?

Medicare reason we are looking forward to when our three foster kid are officially our and are adopted. Then we can dump medicare and add them to my policy. We have had a hard time finding doctors willing to take new medicare patients. The policy coverage is adequate, it is just hard to find willing participants in medicare.For those that have adopted out of the foster system:

[*]Did you keep the medicare?

[*]Why did you or did you not?

We have been told here in VA that we will not be able to use Medicare. One less decision for us to make.

...

As a conservative I'm outraged. As an adoptive parent who has spent a ton of money, I won't refuse it.

The money will kick start a 529 for the new legal members in our home.

Can't believe it's been almost two years since our son was born and we adopted him. A great two years for sure!

After four years in the foster system (three with us) we are finally to the point of adoption. From those who have adopted via the foster system, any advice?

Did you get your own lawyer instead of the paid for one?

Did you have a ceremony?

...

First of all, congrats!! We're on round 2 and know how frustrating and draining the foster system can be.For our first adoption we used the county's attorney, who was made available to us at no cost. The parents TPRd voluntarily, so there was nobody contesting anything. Will probably do the same thing with the next one.

As for a ceremony, we had an adoption party at our church after the service where we had him dedicated, a couple of weeks after the adoption. More expensive for us, but we wanted to share the experience with our church family. If I wasn't a pastor we probably would have just had a party at home for family and friends. On the day of the adoption we went out for lunch with the family members who came to the courthouse.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Kind of bummed to find out that there's a really good chance we'll be audited due to the adoption credit and that processing adoption returns took from 3-6 months last year.

 

[CrossEyed]

Kind of bummed to find out that there's a really good chance we'll be audited due to the adoption credit and that processing adoption returns took from 3-6 months last year.

Yeah, that happened to us in 2010. But I knew that the return was prepared by a good accountant, so I wasn't concerned about it. They actually reduced my return at first, but upon clarification (and me staying on top of it) they eventually corrected it back to the original amount.From what I understand though, the credit is no longer refundable, so now it might take 2 years to get the full amount back, depending on your tax burden.

 

[Worm]

Kind of bummed to find out that there's a really good chance we'll be audited due to the adoption credit and that processing adoption returns took from 3-6 months last year.

Yeah, we had to send in additional information TWICE last year, and I think it took about 4-5 months total.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Kind of bummed to find out that there's a really good chance we'll be audited due to the adoption credit and that processing adoption returns took from 3-6 months last year.

Yeah, that happened to us in 2010. But I knew that the return was prepared by a good accountant, so I wasn't concerned about it. They actually reduced my return at first, but upon clarification (and me staying on top of it) they eventually corrected it back to the original amount.From what I understand though, the credit is no longer refundable, so now it might take 2 years to get the full amount back, depending on your tax burden.

For 2011 it's still a one year deal. So we get a nice big check once we finally get it. Puts me at a -23% tax bracket or something for the year We attached the adoption judgement with the return, so that should take care of the first problem that a lot of people have. But more than likely we'll have to send in copies of receipts/canceled checks to verify the expenses.

 

[CrossEyed]

Kind of bummed to find out that there's a really good chance we'll be audited due to the adoption credit and that processing adoption returns took from 3-6 months last year.

Yeah, that happened to us in 2010. But I knew that the return was prepared by a good accountant, so I wasn't concerned about it. They actually reduced my return at first, but upon clarification (and me staying on top of it) they eventually corrected it back to the original amount.From what I understand though, the credit is no longer refundable, so now it might take 2 years to get the full amount back, depending on your tax burden.

For 2011 it's still a one year deal. So we get a nice big check once we finally get it. Puts me at a -23% tax bracket or something for the year We attached the adoption judgement with the return, so that should take care of the first problem that a lot of people have. But more than likely we'll have to send in copies of receipts/canceled checks to verify the expenses.

Ours was complicated by the fact that we had no expenses and had to prove that our son was a "special needs" adoption in order to get the tax credit. They were always nice in my discussions with them, but it was definitely a process to get my refund.

 

[Follows Closely]

Ours was complicated by the fact that we had no expenses and had to prove that our son was a "special needs" adoption in order to get the tax credit. They were always nice in my discussions with them, but it was definitely a process to get my refund.

Thanks for the heads up. Given our three are a sibling set, we will have to go though these steps as well.

 

[CrossEyed]

We were just informed that the biological mom of our foster daughter is being given the middle hour of her three weekly visits as unsupervised time. This is a woman who had been in the methadone program for 7 years and is rated at the highest or next to highest risk in all 5 categories that they evaluate. Not only does she have long term drug issues, but she has psych issues as well. Our caseworker is stunned, but the mother's caseworker seems determined to try to put this little girl back with her mother despite all of the evidence to the contrary. My wife is absolutely sick about it. For those of you who pray, please ask the Lord to give Mrs CE a peace about this situation. I'm not happy about it, but I'm willing to put her in God's hands and trust Him for her protection. Mrs CE is a bit emotional to be able to completely hand things over to Him at the moment.

 

[GroveDiesel]

I'll be praying. I've seen the sane thing with several of my friends that are doing/have done the foster to adopt thing.

I hate to be negative, but if you have a caseworker that is determined to get the child back to the birth parent, you are fighting a very uphill battle. I've heard from my friends of caseworkers outright lying to them and to the judge. In one case it was actually the judge that just decided she was re-uniting the family no matter what. Neither parent had completed any of their classes, neither one had a job, and neither one had their own housing. All that, and one of the 3 girls was bi-polar and the parents had no idea how to deal with her and no intention of learning how. Amd the judge still sent the girls back to their mom.

Hopefully the judge in your case has some wisdom and does what is truly best for the child.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Oh, and I got my tax refund direct deposited this past Friday. WAY earlier than I expected!

 

[CrossEyed]

I'll be praying. I've seen the sane thing with several of my friends that are doing/have done the foster to adopt thing.I hate to be negative, but if you have a caseworker that is determined to get the child back to the birth parent, you are fighting a very uphill battle. I've heard from my friends of caseworkers outright lying to them and to the judge. In one case it was actually the judge that just decided she was re-uniting the family no matter what. Neither parent had completed any of their classes, neither one had a job, and neither one had their own housing. All that, and one of the 3 girls was bi-polar and the parents had no idea how to deal with her and no intention of learning how. Amd the judge still sent the girls back to their mom. Hopefully the judge in your case has some wisdom and does what is truly best for the child.

Thanks. There is only 1 judge that does the adoption hearings in this county, and we dealt with him on the last one. He seems pretty reasonable, so I really don't expect her to be returned. But this caseworker is really causing us a lot of grief in the meantime. I wish I knew what was motivating him. It just makes no sense whatsoever.

 

[CrossEyed]

Our caseworker called me today. At a "team meeting" regarding our little girl, the mom's caseworker made it official that he believes that she is doing well enough that they should be working toward returning her sometime soon. Even though she scores a negative 1 on the risk assessment and the fact that she's made almost no effort in the past 10 months after giving birth to a baby who was addicted to cocaine, methadone, amphetamines and opiates. I just can't understand why someone would want to put a baby back in that kind of situation. But I'm starting to have the same feelings that Mrs CE has been having for a while...that she is going to be returned regardless of what makes sense.

Breaks my heart to think about giving her up.

 

[CrossEyed]

Just needed to vent a little. Despite having unsupervised time taken away from her last week because she was caught in a lie about how her daughter was injured while in her care, mom was given back one unsupervised hour per visit again today. But when the caseworker who supervises returned, mom would not answer the door, or her phone. Mom's caseworker would not respond to calls, our caseworker was called, and ultimately called the police. When mom finally answered the door she apparently went ballistic on the supervising caseworker, claiming that she didn't knock loud enough. She thinks what actually happened is that mom fell asleep.

And the kicker? Despite all of these continuing issues, mom has been promised that her unsupervised time goes up to 2 hours/visit starting next week.

What is this caseworker thinking?

 

[Mystery Achiever]

Just reading the last couple of posts now, CE. What a tough position for you guys.Best wishes.

 

[CrossEyed]

Just reading the last couple of posts now, CE. What a tough position for you guys.Best wishes.

Thanks MA. This experience is just reaffirming what I already thought...put the government in charge of anything and it will be a fiasco.

 

[LarryAllen'sJockstrap]

Just reading the last couple of posts now, CE. What a tough position for you guys.Best wishes.

Thanks MA. This experience is just reaffirming what I already thought...put the government in charge of anything and it will be a fiasco.

Very sorry to hear; "the system" really does suck on these kind of things. Been there; can sympathize with you. Just remember that the love and caring you're giving your little girl is blessing to you, her and even her mom; take happiness in that.

 

[CrossEyed]

Just reading the last couple of posts now, CE. What a tough position for you guys.Best wishes.

Thanks MA. This experience is just reaffirming what I already thought...put the government in charge of anything and it will be a fiasco.

Very sorry to hear; "the system" really does suck on these kind of things. Been there; can sympathize with you. Just remember that the love and caring you're giving your little girl is blessing to you, her and even her mom; take happiness in that.

Thanks. I realize that. But it's just so frustrating to see decisions being made that put this little girl's health, safety, and future in jeapordy. Mom is completely unable to care for her, but the caseworker only seems interested in returning her, despite all of the evidence. Oh, and I forgot maybe the most ridiculous part of all of this. We just found out that the caseworker in question is being promoted to supervisor.

 

[CrossEyed]

Got some good news for a change. Mom's little escapade yesterday resulted in at least 30 days of no unsupervised time.

 

[Mystery Achiever]

Got some good news for a change. Mom's little escapade yesterday resulted in at least 30 days of no unsupervised time.

Good to know someone is paying attention. Keep good records of issues just in case, though!

 

[CrossEyed]

Got some good news for a change. Mom's little escapade yesterday resulted in at least 30 days of no unsupervised time.

Good to know someone is paying attention. Keep good records of issues just in case, though!

Yeah, but one thing that we've learned is that we're not even considered in this process. Foster families are nothing but a resource. What we say/think really doesn't matter.

 

[CrossEyed]

Bio mom has now missed 5 visits in a row and 7 of the past 11. Standard 3-month hearing is today at 1:30. Should be interesting to see if mom shows up and, if she's there, how the attorney tries to spin her most recent actions.

Prayers appreciated from those so inclined.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Will pray for you and for this little girl. Bad caseworkers are terrible. I've witnessed virtually the same scenario play out with 2 different friends. One the kids got returned to a completely screwed up mom and the other one is still unresolved.

As long as the caseworker doesn't lie or omit stuff, a good judge will see see the truth. But a lot depends on the judge's view of things. In the case of my friends where the girls got returned, my friends found out that that particular judge returns kids no matter what unless there's definitive proof that the parent severely injured their child physically or sexually. Mental and emotional abuse, neglect, mild physical abuse, living conditions, etc. played no role and didn't matter a bit.

So the judge can make all the difference.

 

[CrossEyed]

Will pray for you and for this little girl. Bad caseworkers are terrible. I've witnessed virtually the same scenario play out with 2 different friends. One the kids got returned to a completely screwed up mom and the other one is still unresolved.As long as the caseworker doesn't lie or omit stuff, a good judge will see see the truth. But a lot depends on the judge's view of things. In the case of my friends where the girls got returned, my friends found out that that particular judge returns kids no matter what unless there's definitive proof that the parent severely injured their child physically or sexually. Mental and emotional abuse, neglect, mild physical abuse, living conditions, etc. played no role and didn't matter a bit.So the judge can make all the difference.

Thanks for the prayers.Mom didn't show up. And we found out that mom hasn't contacted her attorney since the last hearing in February. And she hasn't had contact with anyone, including her caseworker, for two weeks.The good news is that the master ordered that no unsupervised time be given without a permanency hearing to determine the appropriateness. Mom's attorney requested a hearing in 30 days, but that was denied. Next hearing scheduled for August. The master also asked CYS if they didn't think it was getting to be time to start talking about permanency. Seemed like his way of saying, "Look folks, this isn't going well, maybe the next hearing should be about changing the goal to adoption."Also found out that dad's next criminal hearing is in July and he may get moved from the county jail to a state facility, which would end his visits (he currently gets a jail visit every other week).So we're pleased with how things went.

 

[CrossEyed]

Way too much has happened to update on everything, but the good news is that they are requesting both a goal change and termination of parental rights at the September hearing. Bio dad is still in jail and bio mom has been a disaster. Disappeared for two months (late April through mid June), and has been completely uncooperative since she popped back up. Even through all of that, up until last Wednesday her caseworker and her supervisor were unwilling to ask for any changes. But something apparently happened because we got word on Tuesday that they had done a 180 and were requesting the goal change and the tpr.

So we're hopeful that maybe we can complete the adoption before the end of the year.

 

[CrossEyed]

Just to update my last post. September's hearing got pushed to October 19. Too many terminations came up at the same time and there were only so many court dates available.

Still asking for goal change and termination, along with significant reduction in visitation, from three days per week to one day every other week.

Still hoping to adopt by the end of the year, but that may be pushing it now.

 

[CrossEyed]

Hearing this Friday. For you praying types, here’s what we’re asking people to pray about.

First, that the biological mom shows up. There are multiple reasons for this. First, if she’s not there it almost guarantees that our case will be the last one heard and I'll have to sit there all day. Second, it will almost guarantee that the judge will continue the case for 30 days. We would probably get the goal change and reduction in visitation, but we definitely would not get termination. Why would that be the case? The reason is that if it turns out that she has a valid reason for not coming to the hearing she could appeal, and the appeal process could hold things up for as many as four months. If he continues the hearing, it will be decided in 30 days, whether or not she shows up for the next hearing.

The reason that it would be beneficial for us to get a decision on Friday is that it opens the door for the adoption to be completed before the end of the year. Not only would that be a great Christmas present, but there would also be a financial benefit. We would be able to receive the adoption credit with the year’s tax return, which would really help as I transition to my new ministry with Man in the Mirror. I don’t collect a salary until the ministry is 70% funded (which could take 6-9 months or more), so getting those funds in early 2013 would make the transition quite a bit easier.

The other prayer request is that, if mom does show up, I’m able to provide clear and effective testimony if called upon. Our caseworker told me that there’s a good chance that, if it moves to termination, the judge would call a foster parent to testify. Coincidence or not, she said that in her two recent cases where the foster family was able to testify, the decision was made to terminate. And in the case where there was no foster parent there to testify, the case was continued.

 

[CrossEyed]

First of all, the judge ruled at the hearing that things were to be continued for 60 days with no changes.

But today we got some news that has really caused some mixed emotions. We found out that our foster-daughter's bio mom gave birth to a baby today who didn't survive. The baby was 30 weeks and had, at a minimum, cocaine and marijuana in his/her system. This after the mom said, under oath, that she ad been clean for the past 16 months.

The judge has been called and we're expecting an earlier hearing to be scheduled and for visitation to end. That makes us happy. But knowing that this woman did this to another innocent child breaks our hearts.

 

[CrossEyed]

Not sure anyone else is even reading this thread any more, but venting is good for my soul.

Found out today that we are not going to get the date we were hoping for (11/27) and so we're into December to wait on a new hearing. And we know that the court dates that are available in December are extremely limited. So we could be looking at having to wait over two months from the time that this woman killed her child to decide on whether or not she should have the previous child that she delivered drug-addicted and has made minimal efforts to bond with returned to her.

This system is so screwed up, it's unbelievable.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Not sure anyone else is even reading this thread any more, but venting is good for my soul.Found out today that we are not going to get the date we were hoping for (11/27) and so we're into December to wait on a new hearing. And we know that the court dates that are available in December are extremely limited. So we could be looking at having to wait over two months from the time that this woman killed her child to decide on whether or not she should have the previous child that she delivered drug-addicted and has made minimal efforts to bond with returned to her. This system is so screwed up, it's unbelievable.

Praying for you guys.This is exactly why we chose not to go this route and why we never will. We have had a few workers in the system beg us to adopt but there is no way I would allow our family to go through this type of garbage. Major respect from me for the folks who manage it.

 

[CrossEyed]

Not sure anyone else is even reading this thread any more, but venting is good for my soul.Found out today that we are not going to get the date we were hoping for (11/27) and so we're into December to wait on a new hearing. And we know that the court dates that are available in December are extremely limited. So we could be looking at having to wait over two months from the time that this woman killed her child to decide on whether or not she should have the previous child that she delivered drug-addicted and has made minimal efforts to bond with returned to her. This system is so screwed up, it's unbelievable.

Praying for you guys.This is exactly why we chose not to go this route and why we never will. We have had a few workers in the system beg us to adopt but there is no way I would allow our family to go through this type of garbage. Major respect from me for the folks who manage it.

Thanks GD. Not really sure how well I'm managing it. Went to the dentist yesterday and my bp was 162/97.

 

[CrossEyed]

Found out today that we are not on the schedule in December.

All I can say is if you are ever considering adoption through the foster system, run as fast as you can in another direction. What a complete mess this system is.

 

[pecorino]

we're in the early stages of a domestic adoption through an agency--Gladney, in case anyone has a history with them. anyway, can anyone explain the tax law changes for 2012 and after? i understand that we will not get money back from the tax credit but it appears as though our tax liability could be zero. so, what, you pay federal taxes all year and then you get all that money back when you file after the adoption? and then can the remaining credit be applied to the following year? seems like a good deal if you can spread the credit out over two years. am i correct in my understanding of this? tia.

 

[Kool-Aid Larry]

Not sure anyone else is even reading this thread any more, but venting is good for my soul.

Found out today that we are not going to get the date we were hoping for (11/27) and so we're into December to wait on a new hearing. And we know that the court dates that are available in December are extremely limited. So we could be looking at having to wait over two months from the time that this woman killed her child to decide on whether or not she should have the previous child that she delivered drug-addicted and has made minimal efforts to bond with returned to her.

This system is so screwed up, it's unbelievable.

god might be

 

[FUBAR]

Found out today that we are not on the schedule in December. All I can say is if you are ever considering adoption through the foster system, run as fast as you can in another direction. What a complete mess this system is.

I feel for you, but you're right. This type of thing is a big reason we're going to China instead of domestic.

 

[shadyridr]

Please dont make a big deal about this because its very hard for me to discuss right now but wife and I have kicked around the idea of adoption to fill the emptiness in our hearts and family. We want to adopt an infant. It is so overwhelming. Where do we even begin? Do we go agency or private? If agency, how do we find one? The few I search all get bad reviews but I assume thats kind of expected with some horror stories out there. If private how do I find a good adoption attorney?

 

[dutch]

Ok, here goes.  My wife and I completed and adoption of our 14 year old son about 10 years ago but we did it in another country based on the fact that my wife is a dual citizen. We then brought our son to the US on a visa that we let expire many years ago.  We are now trying to make everytrhing right and to do so we have been advised to compete an adoption here in the US.  Problem is my wife and I are currently seperated and are going to get divorced as soon as our son is status current.

Can anyone adivse, lawyer types especially, if us being separated is going to queer the deal?  Am really worried about this but also dont want to move back in with the soon to be ex if I dont really have to.  We both love our son dearly and we both agree we are good parents to him otherwise.  Any thoughts apreeciated.  Thanks.

 

[jb1020]

Any recent international adoption experiences here?  The wife and I were just accepted into the China Program.  

We already have an 8 yo boy and a 6 yo girl.  Been trying to have a 3rd for almost 2 years now.  We strongly considered adoption instead of trying to have our own 2 years ago, but my wife wanted to have the whole "being pregnant experience" again.  She worked full time and was in school with the first 2 kids and she missed a lot.  

With the first 2 kids all I had to do was look at her and she was pregnant.  Not so easy this time.  We opted out of all the infertility routes and took it as a sign we needed to adopt.  

Anything I need to prepare myself for?  I scanned the thread but there isn't much recent info.  With the way things change I figure its all out dated anyways.