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***OFFICIAL*** Fake Studs n' Duds Posts (1 Viewer)

Otis

Otis

Footballguy
Can everyone please submit a one paragraph fake Studs posting in here? I'd like to have an analysis conducted to figure out who the real studs is, kind of like doing a handwriting comparison.

Thanks for your time and attention to this important board matter,

Oats

 
oen times my frends naems buggy likes to rides his cycle real fasts he gets teh bugs in his teefs adn thtas why he calls buggy oll

 
i like opus because he always say it gud wif the ladie and no matter what happen he always have a smile on he face and nothin gonna get him down.

strubs

:plagiarized:

 
These morning I had two pick up my firend Bob for car pole. Car poling is wear you safes money by drivgin people to work and then they never pay for gas. Still, usually Bob leave lots of free gas every morning and he joke thats down payment!!! This morning Bob tells me we have to pick up some stank names Cammie Toad. Bob calls her a stank but he want to leave gravy on her taters. Cammie is pretty girl who wear pants so tight they make your pants tight. Anyhow Bob and Cammie get in back seat to do what bob call s playing slap and pickle. I was lonely up front and i gots no pickle.

Anyhow we get to bob's work and drop him off. After he leave I look around back seat for pickle cos I was hungry. I can't find no pickle and don't think there was won, but I do think maybe they share a sanwitch cos it smell like tuna salad back there. Anyho Cammie Toad directions me to her work and we get there pretty fast. She say she want to show me her presheashun. Her presheashun looked like eels and smelled like that sandwitch I got none of while not having pickle either, but I liked it.

After Cammie left i knowed why my firends Bob call her a stank cos my junks sure stunk.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Sorry guys, the algorithm still has some bugs in it. I've paged Memphis Foundry and he's looking into it. Thanks for your patience.

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
These morning I had two pick up my firend Bob for car pole. Car poling is wear you safes money by drivgin people to work and then they never pay for gas. Still, usually Bob leave lots of free gas every morning and he joke thats down payment!!! This morning Bob tells me we have to pick up some stank names Cammie Toad. Bob calls her a stank but he want to leave gravy on her taters. Cammie is pretty girl who wear pants so tight they make your pants tight. Anyhow Bob and Cammie get in back seat to do what bob call s playing slap and pickle. I was lonely up front and i gots no pickle. Anyhow we get to bob's work and drop him off. After he leave I look around back seat for pickle cos I was hungry. I can't find no pickle and don't think there was won, but I do think maybe they share a sanwitch cos it smell like tuna salad back there. Anyho Cammie Toad directions me to her work and we get there pretty fast. She say she want to show me her preciation. Her preciashun looked like eels and smelled like that missing sandwitch, but I liked it.
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:mellow:
 
{Blows out}

tHis thred remind me of the troubles my friend georgehey have. he maaried to the womens I tell yuo about who was cheted out of burritos for life by resturant owner familia. georgehey goes to the first amways Bank to cash his paycheck, he pickes the melons water out on the fields nearr me and they cashier take his check and them just leave, whens she come back georgehey ends up in handcuffs from the security fat man cause they not beleive him who the check is. the handwritting, it can be a wuif.

 
I like to call to stand up..Chewbanka. Does you swear to tell truth so help you god of wookie? Now i am not lawer and i am not judge but if Chewbanka doesn't make teh juice, can there be a crime? Does hiz honer want to make teh luv juice when lookin at this wookie? No he is humans and not she wookie. Ok Chewbanka you is free to fly you ships and shoot you guns...

 
I an Hectro spent hte days watching Wixard of Zoos. Good flicker, only thing not believable is teh flying butt monkeys. No matters how many times I look(boy, does hectors get mad!) I never see monkeys! llo!

 
I no feel so goods after last night eating to mcuh the refrid beans. I had to number deuce several times and I didnt have the tilet papr. I looked everywhere but I didn't want to get off the tilet. I yelled for my friend Jimie to brin the paprs but Jimie was drunks from the tequlia. I was about to give up when the gato came in the banjo and me thinks that I can use the gato to wipe my bendejo and I does. Gato not to happy but my bendejo is clean but the gato smells like the dukies. Jimie not make the banjo and mesed in his pants and now Jimie smells like the gato.

 
i would have over for dinner Bo and Luke Duke to talk about the cars. I have over the dog Lassie because that dog is best and I have over Peenes so lassie could get layed after the meal...lol

 
Oats, this remind me of my friend fillymaps. fillymaps was always been made fun of cuz his name sound funny. guys was always sayin "Hey fillymaps, u got a funny name. Ur not from filly and you aint no map." sumtimes he get mad and fights with whoever was making fun of him. Only fillymaps lost a lot of fight cause he a dwarf and is only 4 feet tall. lol

After fight he come talk to me upset and hurt sayin he dont like being so small cuz he feels like he is bigger but he still gets beat up. I sit him down and tell him that it not the bigness of the dogs fight that matter but its what kinda dog it is that matter. I tell him this means that he a dwarf and he shouldnt be fighting bigger people and that he should do what he good at doin because the type of dog fillymaps is is a dwarf dog and being a dwarf dog is cool.

Well, next thing i knows fillymaps is gone. I go to his house to pick him up to go visit alligator farm and he wasnt there, just like at the end of that goodwill movie where he goes to see a girl cept fillymaps werent going for a girl but to join a circus. teh note he left say that the best place for a dwarf were the circus and that by the time i read this note, he long gone.

Later I hear that fillymaps make it big in circus as farting clown. when i visited him he seem happy. he came up to me, give me a hug, and farted baby powder at my face. lol. we talk about old times when he was not in the circus and he say he much happier now that his size helps him get laughs rather than beat up. his name still fillymaps but because he is doin what a dwarf does instead of fighting it, he happy now.

Oats, you kinda like fillymaps cause sometimes you try to be something your not. soemtimes you gotta go off and join teh circus as a farting clown before you find out who you relaly are. fillmaps know who he is now.

 
adonis said:
Oats, this remind me of my friend fillymaps. fillymaps was always been made fun of cuz his name sound funny. guys was always sayin "Hey fillymaps, u got a funny name. Ur not from filly and you aint no map." sumtimes he get mad and fights with whoever was making fun of him. Only fillymaps lost a lot of fight cause he a dwarf and is only 4 feet tall. lolAfter fight he come talk to me upset and hurt sayin he dont like being so small cuz he feels like he is bigger but he still gets beat up. I sit him down and tell him that it not the bigness of the dogs fight that matter but its what kinda dog it is that matter. I tell him this means that he a dwarf and he shouldnt be fighting bigger people and that he should do what he good at doin because the type of dog fillymaps is is a dwarf dog and being a dwarf dog is cool.Well, next thing i knows fillymaps is gone. I go to his house to pick him up to go visit alligator farm and he wasnt there, just like at the end of that goodwill movie where he goes to see a girl cept fillymaps werent going for a girl but to join a circus. teh note he left say that the best place for a dwarf were the circus and that by the time i read this note, he long gone.Later I hear that fillymaps make it big in circus as farting clown. when i visited him he seem happy. he came up to me, give me a hug, and farted baby powder at my face. lol. we talk about old times when he was not in the circus and he say he much happier now that his size helps him get laughs rather than beat up. his name still fillymaps but because he is doin what a dwarf does instead of fighting it, he happy now.Oats, you kinda like fillymaps cause sometimes you try to be something your not. soemtimes you gotta go off and join teh circus as a farting clown before you find out who you relaly are. fillmaps know who he is now.
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:goodposting: Nicely done.
 
Otis,

Please consider this my "fake" paragraph posting as Studs in here. I'd like to find out more on this analysis conducted to figure out who the real studs is.

And thank YOU, for your time and attention to this important board matter.

Regards,

Studs and Duds

P.S. May all your dreams come true.

 
(Exhales deeply.) This reminds me of my friend, whose name is Helen van Biscuits. Once, this delightful Mexican restaurant in town had a contest. The contest revolved around who could release the loudest flatulence! The prize for this amazing feat was revealed to be a year supply of free burritos. We have known for years that our friend Helen just loves to indulge in a tasty burrito, so my dear friend Qwerts phoned her to tell her about his contest. Upon hearing of this contest, Helen became quite excited! However, there was one problem: she feared her flatulence was not loud enough to triumph in this battle of the buttocks. But one thing she does possess is an amazing wit.

So Helen began to study the human digestive system. She went to the library and read books about intestines. She tried eating different food and observing the effects on her flatulence levels. She attempted to hold chocolates in her body for weeks! She tried contorting her body into several positions while releasing her gases. She left no stone unturned. She even sat down with Qwerts and held a strategy meeting after work. Qwerts suggest that maybe he could engineer a tiny microphone to place in her rectum that would make her flatulence extremely loud, but the honorable Helen declined. She is a very honest person, and wouldn't feel good about winning the years supply of burritos like that. She was at her lowest low, ready to give up, when she received what seemed like a miracle. While watching a television show about the architecture of buildings, she learned that sometimes if the correct combination of curves and openings are found, that sounds can become amplified to become extremely loud. This program indicated that they use these techniques in some of the most famous auditoriums in the entire world.

That night she attempted to make use of all different things that have curves and openings. She placed her buttocks on a wall, and also on a window. She even attempted to use kitchen items like a whisk. But nothing worked. As a last resort she took her fingers and made an opening between her middle and ring fingers just like Mr. Spock of Star Trek fame (except her finger were slightly curved). She placed her hand in this position around her buttocks and released a volley of flatulence. Baboom!!! This bout of flatulence was so loud that it set off 3 car alarms on the adjacent street! But, she thought to herself, maybe the first try was just luck? She attempted the same maneuver again, and behold, even louder! She peered out a window and there was at the very least six animals just staring at her in amazement. I dare say that when your gaseous expulsions are loud enough to make an animal curious, you know you are probably going to win free burritos!

So now Helen was all set. The contest was that day at the restaurant and she knew that destiny was in her bowels. She had honed her technique and was sure that pretty soon she was going to eat many free burritos. The world was her oyster! The contest began and the man who owned the restaurant (the name of the restaurant was La Pringles) took the stage. "Hello to everyone. Today is the day of the big contest and whoever generates the loudest flatulence will win free burritos for a year. On behalf of myself and the entire staff of La Pringles, welcome, and let the flatulence begin! Will all contestants please come to the stage." As it turned out, only two people entered the contest. One was Helen Van Biscuits and the other was a lady named Maria Pringles (it was said she was not related to the Pringle family). The owner proclaimed "OK, I guess it is just you two. Whoever is the loudest wins!"

So Helen went first. She took a few deep breaths. She closed her eyes so that she could really concentrate. A hush fell over the crowded restaurant. She slowly held up her hand and separated her fingers and curved them just like she had practiced (an old lady gasped at the way she contorted her fingers). She turned around very slowly and took her fingers and placed them around the outside of her ######. Here we go, she thought. She then let out what is probably one of the loudest noises ever to emanate from a human body, including screams of terror. It sounded like part boat horn and part nuclear explosion. It was breathtaking and lasted for almost 20 seconds. When it was done there was total silence except for one old man who was looking around and pointing to his ears and telling everyone he thought he was now deaf! He was ignored, and written off as a crazy. Eventually Helen turned around and one person started clapping. Then a few more began. Soon it had become a standing ovation. "Bravo!" one lady exclaimed. Another little girl went to the stage and gave Helen a bouquet of flowers. Helen was touched and a tiny tear ran down the curves of her face. Even Maria Pringles looked impressed. What could she do except tip her hat to one hell of a gaseous expulsion?

So, eventually the claps died down (except for the old deaf man, but his wife scolded him and told him to calm down). So now it was Maria’s turn. Everyone got quiet again and gave Maria their attention. Maria looked around, clenched her teeth, and scrunched the skin of her nose. She began counting "one....two....THREE!" She let out her flatulence and it sounded like snoring, but got a little louder and a little louder and then suddenly there was a second noise. BOOM!! The window exploded! People were so confused. Where did that second bout of flatulence come from and how did the windows break? How did she do that? The owner of La Pringles took the microphone and said "We have a winner! It is Maria Pringles! Her flatulence was so loud that windows shattered! It almost sounded like my favorite Simon and Garfunkel tune. Congratulation to Maria and enjoy your burritos!" Maria began jumping up and down. I glanced at Helen Van Biscuits and she was devastated. Even the audience could not process what they saw. They knew that Helen was probably louder but Maria broke the windows! So if Helen was not able to break the windows, yet Maria did, it follows that Maria must have been louder.

Helen walked down the stage and was very upset. She came over to us and pleaded that she did her best, and we agreed. Qwerts said that he was so impressed by her intestinal accomplishments that he was now really quite attracted to her. We agreed that it was probably best to go home, but Helen wanted to go say thank you to the owner before she left. She had so much class that even though she lost she was determined to say thank you. Her rear end was quite impressive, but her character was loudest of all.

So she looked around for the owner and could not find him. She checked everywhere and then finally she looked through the door into the kitchen. That is when she beheld something that changed her life forever. She saw a whole bunch of people dancing around and singing. She saw the owner, the family, and Maria Pringles. They were throwing people around on chairs like it was a Jewish wedding. They were all singing and laughing. She overheard the owner talk about how he was so proud of Maria Pringles, that Maria was a long lost cousin, and that they rigged the contest so Maria would win the free burritos. It turns out that there were two little boys that threw rocks at the windows (in exchange for a free taco) when Maria was releasing her flatulence. The second, higher pitched noise when Maria was releasing her flatulence was actually the owner blowing into a special ring he was wearing that whistled. He timed everything just right, and with the harmony and the glass breaking everyone was tricked into believing that Maria was making it all happen, but it was all mirage.

Helen was so mad she burst through the door into the kitchen and everybody who was dancing and laughing stopped and looked at her. The owner exclaimed, "Oh, uh, Helen, oh, I… we’re sorry that you lost and uh, we..." but Helen cut him off. She slowly raised her right hand and separated her fingers. A serious tone fell over the room and people began to panic. "No, don’t do it Helen" Maria screamed! But Helen didn’t listen. She turnd around and put her fingers on her buttocks. Me and Qwerts went to the door to watch and Helen look over at Qwerts and he said to her (real softly) "I love you." And with those words, she let out a gaseous expulsion so loud that you could not hear anything. You could only see the looks of terror on the face of the Pringles family. Bottles of hot sauce started exploding and Maria Pringles was blown against a wall. Some cans of beans also exploded and got into the owners eyes. I could see him mouthing "I am blind! I blind." She finished and said "You can keep you burritos, from now on I’m only going to eat Chinese food."

She strode out of the kitchen and back into the restaurant, people parting for her like the Red Sea. They were clapping and patting her on her shoulders as she walked by. The old man who went deaf said that the second bout of flatulence knocked his hearing back and now it is even better than ever. The mayor was there too and he proclaimed "I declare today Helen Van Biscuits Day!" Helen stopped and said thank you to everyone and waved. They all waved back but with a slight part and curve in their fingers as a sign of respect. Helen tapped her heart to show how much that meant to her. She may not have won all the burritos, but she won a lot of friends, and when it is all said and done, burritos come and go, but friends stay with you forever.

Studs

P.S. When I was writing this I think I heard Helen make a large gaseous expulsion. Ha!

 
Worm said:
(Exhales deeply.) This reminds me of my friend, whose name is Helen van Biscuits. Once, this delightful Mexican restaurant in town had a contest. The contest revolved around who could release the loudest flatulence! The prize for this amazing feat was revealed to be a year supply of free burritos. We have known for years that our friend Helen just loves to indulge in a tasty burrito, so my dear friend Qwerts phoned her to tell her about his contest. Upon hearing of this contest, Helen became quite excited! However, there was one problem: she feared her flatulence was not loud enough to triumph in this battle of the buttocks. But one thing she does possess is an amazing wit.
Click to expand...
One post late on this shtick, bub.
 
That remind me of my friend Choadus. Choads use to give a hunderd and ten presents but then he buy a better numbers so he dont try no more. That makes choadus sad and everyone in faf they want the good choadus back. Then he gets crush on mister pickless. Choads folload him round like puppy doug but pickless says choads try to hard and want him to have some self inspects. Then Choads start thread where he ask peeple act like Chipseys. Chipseys also from inernet and he was a studs but he been gone long times. Poor choadus cant figures it out but we cant all be studs just be yousself and all you dreams may come true.

 
This reminsd me of my buddy Peat von Schlonger. One time at Heurtas, Peat make teh juice wit Heuts dog. We all laugh, then cry. Lubers come late, and no understand. I make pee in jorts, and Heurts dog smiled

Sturds

P & s

If s you knews a gilf named Sadie Gums, ask hers for my plugger back

 
Worm said:
(Exhales deeply.) This reminds me of my friend, whose name is Helen van Biscuits. Once, this delightful Mexican restaurant in town had a contest. The contest revolved around who could release the loudest flatulence! The prize for this amazing feat was revealed to be a year supply of free burritos. We have known for years that our friend Helen just loves to indulge in a tasty burrito, so my dear friend Qwerts phoned her to tell her about his contest. Upon hearing of this contest, Helen became quite excited! However, there was one problem: she feared her flatulence was not loud enough to triumph in this battle of the buttocks. But one thing she does possess is an amazing wit. So Helen began to study the human digestive system. She went to the library and read books about intestines. She tried eating different food and observing the effects on her flatulence levels. She attempted to hold chocolates in her body for weeks! She tried contorting her body into several positions while releasing her gases. She left no stone unturned. She even sat down with Qwerts and held a strategy meeting after work. Qwerts suggest that maybe he could engineer a tiny microphone to place in her rectum that would make her flatulence extremely loud, but the honorable Helen declined. She is a very honest person, and wouldn't feel good about winning the years supply of burritos like that. She was at her lowest low, ready to give up, when she received what seemed like a miracle. While watching a television show about the architecture of buildings, she learned that sometimes if the correct combination of curves and openings are found, that sounds can become amplified to become extremely loud. This program indicated that they use these techniques in some of the most famous auditoriums in the entire world.That night she attempted to make use of all different things that have curves and openings. She placed her buttocks on a wall, and also on a window. She even attempted to use kitchen items like a whisk. But nothing worked. As a last resort she took her fingers and made an opening between her middle and ring fingers just like Mr. Spock of Star Trek fame (except her finger were slightly curved). She placed her hand in this position around her buttocks and released a volley of flatulence. Baboom!!! This bout of flatulence was so loud that it set off 3 car alarms on the adjacent street! But, she thought to herself, maybe the first try was just luck? She attempted the same maneuver again, and behold, even louder! She peered out a window and there was at the very least six animals just staring at her in amazement. I dare say that when your gaseous expulsions are loud enough to make an animal curious, you know you are probably going to win free burritos!So now Helen was all set. The contest was that day at the restaurant and she knew that destiny was in her bowels. She had honed her technique and was sure that pretty soon she was going to eat many free burritos. The world was her oyster! The contest began and the man who owned the restaurant (the name of the restaurant was La Pringles) took the stage. "Hello to everyone. Today is the day of the big contest and whoever generates the loudest flatulence will win free burritos for a year. On behalf of myself and the entire staff of La Pringles, welcome, and let the flatulence begin! Will all contestants please come to the stage." As it turned out, only two people entered the contest. One was Helen Van Biscuits and the other was a lady named Maria Pringles (it was said she was not related to the Pringle family). The owner proclaimed "OK, I guess it is just you two. Whoever is the loudest wins!" So Helen went first. She took a few deep breaths. She closed her eyes so that she could really concentrate. A hush fell over the crowded restaurant. She slowly held up her hand and separated her fingers and curved them just like she had practiced (an old lady gasped at the way she contorted her fingers). She turned around very slowly and took her fingers and placed them around the outside of her ######. Here we go, she thought. She then let out what is probably one of the loudest noises ever to emanate from a human body, including screams of terror. It sounded like part boat horn and part nuclear explosion. It was breathtaking and lasted for almost 20 seconds. When it was done there was total silence except for one old man who was looking around and pointing to his ears and telling everyone he thought he was now deaf! He was ignored, and written off as a crazy. Eventually Helen turned around and one person started clapping. Then a few more began. Soon it had become a standing ovation. "Bravo!" one lady exclaimed. Another little girl went to the stage and gave Helen a bouquet of flowers. Helen was touched and a tiny tear ran down the curves of her face. Even Maria Pringles looked impressed. What could she do except tip her hat to one hell of a gaseous expulsion?So, eventually the claps died down (except for the old deaf man, but his wife scolded him and told him to calm down). So now it was Maria’s turn. Everyone got quiet again and gave Maria their attention. Maria looked around, clenched her teeth, and scrunched the skin of her nose. She began counting "one....two....THREE!" She let out her flatulence and it sounded like snoring, but got a little louder and a little louder and then suddenly there was a second noise. BOOM!! The window exploded! People were so confused. Where did that second bout of flatulence come from and how did the windows break? How did she do that? The owner of La Pringles took the microphone and said "We have a winner! It is Maria Pringles! Her flatulence was so loud that windows shattered! It almost sounded like my favorite Simon and Garfunkel tune. Congratulation to Maria and enjoy your burritos!" Maria began jumping up and down. I glanced at Helen Van Biscuits and she was devastated. Even the audience could not process what they saw. They knew that Helen was probably louder but Maria broke the windows! So if Helen was not able to break the windows, yet Maria did, it follows that Maria must have been louder. Helen walked down the stage and was very upset. She came over to us and pleaded that she did her best, and we agreed. Qwerts said that he was so impressed by her intestinal accomplishments that he was now really quite attracted to her. We agreed that it was probably best to go home, but Helen wanted to go say thank you to the owner before she left. She had so much class that even though she lost she was determined to say thank you. Her rear end was quite impressive, but her character was loudest of all. So she looked around for the owner and could not find him. She checked everywhere and then finally she looked through the door into the kitchen. That is when she beheld something that changed her life forever. She saw a whole bunch of people dancing around and singing. She saw the owner, the family, and Maria Pringles. They were throwing people around on chairs like it was a Jewish wedding. They were all singing and laughing. She overheard the owner talk about how he was so proud of Maria Pringles, that Maria was a long lost cousin, and that they rigged the contest so Maria would win the free burritos. It turns out that there were two little boys that threw rocks at the windows (in exchange for a free taco) when Maria was releasing her flatulence. The second, higher pitched noise when Maria was releasing her flatulence was actually the owner blowing into a special ring he was wearing that whistled. He timed everything just right, and with the harmony and the glass breaking everyone was tricked into believing that Maria was making it all happen, but it was all mirage. Helen was so mad she burst through the door into the kitchen and everybody who was dancing and laughing stopped and looked at her. The owner exclaimed, "Oh, uh, Helen, oh, I… we’re sorry that you lost and uh, we..." but Helen cut him off. She slowly raised her right hand and separated her fingers. A serious tone fell over the room and people began to panic. "No, don’t do it Helen" Maria screamed! But Helen didn’t listen. She turnd around and put her fingers on her buttocks. Me and Qwerts went to the door to watch and Helen look over at Qwerts and he said to her (real softly) "I love you." And with those words, she let out a gaseous expulsion so loud that you could not hear anything. You could only see the looks of terror on the face of the Pringles family. Bottles of hot sauce started exploding and Maria Pringles was blown against a wall. Some cans of beans also exploded and got into the owners eyes. I could see him mouthing "I am blind! I blind." She finished and said "You can keep you burritos, from now on I’m only going to eat Chinese food."She strode out of the kitchen and back into the restaurant, people parting for her like the Red Sea. They were clapping and patting her on her shoulders as she walked by. The old man who went deaf said that the second bout of flatulence knocked his hearing back and now it is even better than ever. The mayor was there too and he proclaimed "I declare today Helen Van Biscuits Day!" Helen stopped and said thank you to everyone and waved. They all waved back but with a slight part and curve in their fingers as a sign of respect. Helen tapped her heart to show how much that meant to her. She may not have won all the burritos, but she won a lot of friends, and when it is all said and done, burritos come and go, but friends stay with you forever.StudsP.S. When I was writing this I think I heard Helen make a large gaseous expulsion. Ha!
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Not enough charm or spelling/grammatical errors. You lose.
 
dickey moe said:
Ditkaless Wonders said:
This morning Bob tells me we have to pick up some stank names Cammie Toad. Bob calls her a stank but he want to leave gravy on her taters.
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:goodposting: :lmao: :thumbup:And another :lmao: for the use of "gravy" instead of "juice"
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Turns out Bob was not calling her a stank, but a skank. I didn't here rite becos I had waste in my ears. I guess he calls her a skank becos she have them skanker sores on her lips.
 
(Blows out) I knews someone was gonna snoops around Ohts, and it makes me sads it was you. This thread reminds me of the story of Lon Grive, a buddy of mines who likes teh golf like Ohrst likes to give juice to thirsty peeple. Well, one days Lon is closing up his store, Puttin from the Ruff, when he looks across the street and sees a brand news golf store called Long Woods with a big ‘Grands Opening’ sign in the window. It is a big surprise to Lon and he gets so mad his face gets all red and he doesn’t even blink. Not one blink for like a minute. When his eyes started to blink again, Lon just walked across that street like it was high noon at the hokey coral and didnt even notice the cars that sceeched to a stop right by his legs. The drivers stuck their heads out teh windows to yells but when they saw how angry Lon looked they eyes get wide and they drive backwards as fast as they could.

He walked up to the store and yelled so hard a momma walking by with her baby makes the surprise chocolates right in her dress. It flops right out on the sidewalk, and everyone got quiets. Even the baby looks at the ground, and looks at the mom, and Lon looks at the baby and they all looks at each other, standin quiet over the chocolates. It was an uncomfirtable moment, like when you is seeing you doctors and chatting happily and then the doctor points in your butt, that kin of quiet. The baby sees everyone lookin so serious and gets scared at all the staring and crys so hards it makes baby hersheys in its dippers. Lon looks up to see a man lookin out the window of the store, shockin at the loud mess on his sidwalks. Then the man sees Lon seeing and runs into the back of his store to get away from this crazy guy yellin at evryone. Well Lon was so mad that even the babies were makin squirts in their dipers, and enuf was enuff, so he takes out his favorit putter (he keeps it in his belt like the guy that cooks at Chi Chis) and breaks the big new window with the signs and everything.

The baby stops crying right way and it gets big eyes and whistle real lows while the momas runs the stroller around the corner with her legs really wide apart makin a trail of little chocolates to finds her way backs. Lon climbed through the broken window and looks around at the new stores while lookin for that no good guy that opened teh store. Then he stops and looks closely and sees all the stuff is cheap and has made in Tijuna stickers all overs the shafts. The shirts are radon polynesan blend and the bags are lookin like the fake knock ups. He starts laughin and the owner comes out and says “what the heck guy?” His name tag says Pilay Jarizm and he is small with tiny little dark hans that are shakin. Lon says he thought he saw a bugler in the store and wanted to make sure the new store was ok. Pliny says thanks and shakes Lons hand and it is like shakin with that tiny chiwawa that brings peple the burritos. Lon says good byes and went back out the windows.

He drives over and tells me the story and I’m not believing it. He loves that putter so I knows he was really mad. Lon finishes his story and we both are laffin and he tells me that ‘even when a man is on your turf, don’t worries because his woods are probably smaller than yours.” Well now they is frens and they hit balls together all the times.

P and s – don’t fanny cough in the backswings

Fan of slurds

 
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