Dear Trick or Treater,When I saw you it was love at first sight. Of course it was through a rifle scope and my pants were down.Sincerely,-GordonDear Teenage Trick or Treater with No Costume and an Attitude,I know you’re way too cool to fall for the old razor blade in the apple trick, but are you too cool to fall for the ice-scraper in the Adam’s apple trick?We’re ‘bout to find out,-GordonMy Dearly beloved and recently departed,I know some will say it was wrong to bury you in the ground without a coffin. But they don’t realize how hard you fought me when I tried to put you in it.Don’t judge,-GordonDear vain witch,Do you know what is more shallow than you? The hole I am about to plant you in.Look out.-GordonDearly Beloved,I know you wanted to go to a haunted house this Halloween, but look at it this way, now you can haunt this house forever.I’m gay,-GordonDear Witchy witchy witch witch,I am kinda getting into jewelry. Your ovaries are going to make great earrings.Die,GordonDear Spider ring wearer,You ought to paint you breasts as pumpkins for sexy halloween treat. I promise I will carve them with my lock-blade tastefully after I pin you down.No anesthetic,GordonDear Trick or Treat friend,It saddens me that Halloween can come only once a year. I am more frequent than that.Dress skimpy,-Gordon