Parents with kids in the military (1 Viewer)

[KCitons]

What kinds of discussions did you have with your kid leading up to the decision? Did you try to talk them into, or out of it?

For the past 2 years, my 16 year old son has said he is going to join the Marines. We talked about it some, but mostly took the wait and see approach. Thinking that most teenagers change their minds a few times.

 

[DCThunder]

When he's 18 he can enlist wiithout your consent, right?

 

[Spin]

When I was 16, I was going to join the Air force or Navy, hadn't narrowed it down but I was definitely, 100% going to join either one. (typed from my cubicle, after taking an analyst job following graduating college with a math degree)

FWIW, my parents never tried to talk me out of it. When I turned 18 I had a GF and a full ride to college on the table, that she was going to, funny how much things change.

 

[Bojang0301]

It's an eye opening experience. You'll never know the things you know if you don't do it. That being said I've had a lot of regrets about it. One thing you should emphasize to him is that it is a war machine. A machine meant for destruction. It masks itself as this idea of great good and protection but there are a lot of people profiting from big military spending, there are a lot of people that have a lot of different reasons for the things the military does and not much of it has good outcomes whether intended or not. While he's in there will be no stability. He will move and move often. If he does try to start a family it will make him choose the military over the family and it wont be a choice. If he comes from even a modestly educated background he will be caught off guard by the guys/girls that maybe had nothing at all. I guess it all comes back to my first statement that you can't unwash what you see/do it stays with you. For me, I now see that it is something that is extremly questionable to risk your life or well being over. It is not romantic, and while there can be heroic those are moments and not everyday occurances. And whatever he thinks it might be he will be wrong about. For all you or I know he could end up carrying boxes around and sweeping floors for two years. It's a broad spectrum that's very unpredictable.

Edit to add: If my child ever came to me with the notion of joining the military I would do everything in my power to talk him out of it. If you plan on letting him at least do your homework. Find out what jobs transfer well to civilian life, find out what scores he needs to get those jobs and dont let him stray from that to just go and play with guns.

 

[KCitons]

It's an eye opening experience. You'll never know the things you know if you don't do it. That being said I've had a lot of regrets about it. One thing you should emphasize to him is that it is a war machine. A machine meant for destruction. It masks itself as this idea of great good and protection but there are a lot of people profiting from big military spending, there are a lot of people that have a lot of different reasons for the things the military does and not much of it has good outcomes whether intended or not. While he's in there will be no stability. He will move and move often. If he does try to start a family it will make him choose the military over the family and it wont be a choice. If he comes from even a modestly educated background he will be caught off guard by the guys/girls that maybe had nothing at all. I guess it all comes back to my first statement that you can't unwash what you see/do it stays with you. For me, I now see that it is something that is extremly questionable to risk your life or well being over. It is not romantic, and while there can be heroic those are moments and not everyday occurances. And whatever he thinks it might be he will be wrong about. For all you or I know he could end up carrying boxes around and sweeping floors for two years. It's a broad spectrum that's very unpredictable.

This hits a lot of the points I have thought about. I don't want to try to talk him out of serving, but we want him to make an educated decision. Ultimately, we want him to be happy with whatever he decides to do. (college, job, or military)

He's a good kid, works hard and gets good grades, tries to help everyone (often without being asked) He wants to be a Sniper instructor and is open to making the military his career. We've talked to him about having a backup plan, due to the limited number of those positions. In most cases, a parent never wants to squash a kids aspirations. Again, hoping he changes his mind on his own over the next 18 months.

I'm not sure if it's just my impression of the Marines. Family and friends that serve(d) in other branches have tried to direct him towards the Army or Air Force.

 

[Greggity]

Navy and Air Force have the best schools imo

 

[Copeman]

It's an eye opening experience. You'll never know the things you know if you don't do it. That being said I've had a lot of regrets about it. One thing you should emphasize to him is that it is a war machine. A machine meant for destruction. It masks itself as this idea of great good and protection but there are a lot of people profiting from big military spending, there are a lot of people that have a lot of different reasons for the things the military does and not much of it has good outcomes whether intended or not. While he's in there will be no stability. He will move and move often. If he does try to start a family it will make him choose the military over the family and it wont be a choice. If he comes from even a modestly educated background he will be caught off guard by the guys/girls that maybe had nothing at all. I guess it all comes back to my first statement that you can't unwash what you see/do it stays with you. For me, I now see that it is something that is extremly questionable to risk your life or well being over. It is not romantic, and while there can be heroic those are moments and not everyday occurances. And whatever he thinks it might be he will be wrong about. For all you or I know he could end up carrying boxes around and sweeping floors for two years. It's a broad spectrum that's very unpredictable.

This hits a lot of the points I have thought about. I don't want to try to talk him out of serving, but we want him to make an educated decision. Ultimately, we want him to be happy with whatever he decides to do. (college, job, or military)

He's a good kid, works hard and gets good grades, tries to help everyone (often without being asked) He wants to be a Sniper instructor and is open to making the military his career. We've talked to him about having a backup plan, due to the limited number of those positions. In most cases, a parent never wants to squash a kids aspirations. Again, hoping he changes his mind on his own over the next 18 months.

I'm not sure if it's just my impression of the Marines. Family and friends that serve(d) in other branches have tried to direct him towards the Army or Air Force.

Does he play a lot of first person shooter video games?

 

[snellman]

my 18 year old (senior in HS next year) is in the national guard and is at basic training this summer. He signed up just before he turned 18. I didn't try to talk him out of it but I wanted to make sure he wasn't just blindly following the recruiters sales pitch. I just made sure he knew the positives and negatives and made sure he was sure of his decision because there was no changing of the mind later (which he tends to do). So far it has been an eye opener for him and I think he will appreciate home a little more when he gets done with basic (we have had our issues with him, more so than normal 17-18 yr old boy behavior)

 

[KCitons]

He wants to be a Sniper instructor and is open to making the military his career.

Does he play a lot of first person shooter video games?

Depends on what you call a lot. Both of my sons like playing video games, but they go through phases. One month it's car racing, next month it's minecraft, then it's on to something new. (including first person shooters)

They've also started playing airsoft and paint ball with friends in their Boy Scout troop. We've talked about this being a completely different experience than the Marines.

Oddly, his twin brother has no desire to join the military. They have had nearly identical upbringing. But, turned out very different.

 

[cstu]

It's an eye opening experience. You'll never know the things you know if you don't do it. That being said I've had a lot of regrets about it. One thing you should emphasize to him is that it is a war machine. A machine meant for destruction. It masks itself as this idea of great good and protection but there are a lot of people profiting from big military spending, there are a lot of people that have a lot of different reasons for the things the military does and not much of it has good outcomes whether intended or not. While he's in there will be no stability. He will move and move often. If he does try to start a family it will make him choose the military over the family and it wont be a choice. If he comes from even a modestly educated background he will be caught off guard by the guys/girls that maybe had nothing at all. I guess it all comes back to my first statement that you can't unwash what you see/do it stays with you. For me, I now see that it is something that is extremly questionable to risk your life or well being over. It is not romantic, and while there can be heroic those are moments and not everyday occurances. And whatever he thinks it might be he will be wrong about. For all you or I know he could end up carrying boxes around and sweeping floors for two years. It's a broad spectrum that's very unpredictable.

Edit to add: If my child ever came to me with the notion of joining the military I would do everything in my power to talk him out of it. If you plan on letting him at least do your homework. Find out what jobs transfer well to civilian life, find out what scores he needs to get those jobs and dont let him stray from that to just go and play with guns.

I've had these discussions about this with my nephew and won't tell him not to join but I've explained all the things you mentioned. If he's seriously interested in a military career I've recommended he try to get into West Point rather than enlisting.