What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

So hungover this morning I accidently wore two different shoes (1 Viewer)

Evilgrin 72 said:
Whoa.... holy updates, Batman !

So, you're getting sober and married?  Congratulations x 2, big guy !  I'd love to see an update today to indicate everything is still on track.
Click to expand...
Obviously your call as the best man but I think New Orleans would be a great call for the bachelor party. Start off at the Nola Brewery with Tipsy rolling out a few of your plates and then hit the Quarter to see where the night takes everyone. 

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
Obviously your call as the best man but I think New Orleans would be a great call for the bachelor party. Start off at the Nola Brewery with Tipsy rolling out a few of your plates and then hit the Quarter to see where the night takes everyone. 
Click to expand...
Agreed.  Naturally, the night ends at the Dungeon.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Agreed.  Naturally, the night ends at the Dungeon.
Click to expand...
I am going to need a caretaker for the night.  I intend to be abusing shrooms, mescaline, nitrous, and Wild Turkey if this goes down.  I will, of course, pay for the caretaker service, and I will have cash bail on account with the concierge of my hotel.  Lets make this happen.  

Ideally my caretaker should be a young woman of unusual attractiveness, a hardy stomach, no gag reflex, and a desperation for a green card coupled with a moral  and physical flexibility rarely seen outside of a Bangkok brothel.  

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
I am going to need a caretaker for the night.  I intend to be abusing shrooms, mescaline, nitrous, and Wild Turkey if this goes down.  I will, of course, pay for the caretaker service, and I will have cash bail on account with the concierge of my hotel.  Lets make this happen.  

Ideally my caretaker should be a young woman of unusual attractiveness, a hardy stomach, no gag reflex, and a desperation for a green card coupled with a moral  and physical flexibility rarely seen outside of a Bangkok brothel.  
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
I am going to need a caretaker for the night.  I intend to be abusing shrooms, mescaline, nitrous, and Wild Turkey if this goes down.  I will, of course, pay for the caretaker service, and I will have cash bail on account with the concierge of my hotel.  Lets make this happen.  

Ideally my caretaker should be a young woman of unusual attractiveness, a hardy stomach, no gag reflex, and a desperation for a green card coupled with a moral  and physical flexibility rarely seen outside of a Bangkok brothel.  
Click to expand...
I call wingman. But my caretaker has to be a smoking hot redhead, because, throw caution to the wind.

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
I am going to need a caretaker for the night.  I intend to be abusing shrooms, mescaline, nitrous, and Wild Turkey if this goes down.  I will, of course, pay for the caretaker service, and I will have cash bail on account with the concierge of my hotel.  Lets make this happen.  

Ideally my caretaker should be a young woman of unusual attractiveness, a hardy stomach, no gag reflex, and a desperation for a green card coupled with a moral  and physical flexibility rarely seen outside of a Bangkok brothel.  
Click to expand...
i have a picture in my head now of you being a cross between Frank Booth from Blue Velvet and Hunter S Thompson.

 
Conanthecontrarian said:
Ditkaless Wonders said:
I am going to need a caretaker for the night.  I intend to be abusing shrooms, mescaline, nitrous, and Wild Turkey if this goes down.  I will, of course, pay for the caretaker service, and I will have cash bail on account with the concierge of my hotel.  Lets make this happen.  

Ideally my caretaker should be a young woman of unusual attractiveness, a hardy stomach, no gag reflex, and a desperation for a green card coupled with a moral  and physical flexibility rarely seen outside of a Bangkok brothel.  
Click to expand...
i have a picture in my head now of you being a cross between Frank Booth from Blue Velvet and Hunter S Thompson.
Click to expand...
Ah yes... watch out for the edge...

...and in regards to this shin-dig...

...no planning is needed on my part!

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
I am going to need a caretaker for the night.  I intend to be abusing shrooms, mescaline, nitrous, and Wild Turkey if this goes down.  I will, of course, pay for the caretaker service, and I will have cash bail on account with the concierge of my hotel.  Lets make this happen.  

Ideally my caretaker should be a young woman of unusual attractiveness, a hardy stomach, no gag reflex, and a desperation for a green card coupled with a moral  and physical flexibility rarely seen outside of a Bangkok brothel.  
Click to expand...
Meh, I call that Wednesday night 

 
Can't wait for the bachelor party.  I've already got my outfit picked out.  Swim fins, genuine, authentic, replica Roy Rogers six guns with genuine leather holster, pasties, and  a General Patton army helmet.  Nothing else.

My caretaker will have to hold my wallet, keys, lighter, and speculum.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Can't wait for the bachelor party.  I've already got my outfit picked out.  Swim fins, genuine, authentic, replica Roy Rogers six guns with genuine leather holster, pasties, and  a General Patton army helmet.  Nothing else.

My caretaker will have to hold my wallet, keys, lighter, and speculum.
Click to expand...
Man, I'm glad you posted this. How embarrassing would it have been if we both showed up wearing the same thing?

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Can't wait for the bachelor party.  I've already got my outfit picked out.  Swim fins, genuine, authentic, replica Roy Rogers six guns with genuine leather holster, pasties, and  a General Patton army helmet.  Nothing else.

My caretaker will have to hold my wallet, keys, lighter, and speculum.
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Can't wait for the bachelor party.  I've already got my outfit picked out.  Swim fins, genuine, authentic, replica Roy Rogers six guns with genuine leather holster, pasties, and  a General Patton army helmet.  Nothing else.

My caretaker will have to hold my wallet, keys, lighter, and speculum.
Click to expand...
Blue Lacoste shoes instead of the fins. 

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Can't wait for the bachelor party.  I've already got my outfit picked out.  Swim fins, genuine, authentic, replica Roy Rogers six guns with genuine leather holster, pasties, and  a General Patton army helmet.  Nothing else.

My caretaker will have to hold my wallet, keys, lighter, and speculum.
Click to expand...
@Otis has offered to pay for an Extreme WOW suite at the W in the French Quarter as a way to bury the hachet with Rok. 

I can work on getting the necessary supplies, right now thinking two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers...and also a quart of tequila, a quart of a rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
@Otis has offered to pay for an Extreme WOW suite at the W in the French Quarter as a way to bury the hachet with Rok. 

I can work on getting the necessary supplies, right now thinking two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers...and also a quart of tequila, a quart of a rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls
Click to expand...
Our trip was different. It was a classic affirmation of everything right and true and decent in the national character. A gross, physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life in this country, but only for those with true grit.  And we are CHOCK full of that, man.

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
@Otis has offered to pay for an Extreme WOW suite at the W in the French Quarter as a way to bury the hachet with Rok. 

I can work on getting the necessary supplies, right now thinking two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers...and also a quart of tequila, a quart of a rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls
Click to expand...
Sooner or later someone is going to get into that ether.  Not me, but someone.  My old room mate Gary from freshman year probably. Guy was a drooler, or so I thought.  Turns out only when on ether, but for years I could not make the distinction since he was never off of it.  Man could his drool mess up a bong.  Disgusting, but a hell of a nice guy.

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
@Otis has offered to pay for an Extreme WOW suite at the W in the French Quarter as a way to bury the hachet with Rok. 

I can work on getting the necessary supplies, right now thinking two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers...and also a quart of tequila, a quart of a rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls
Click to expand...
First time I read this was during a train ride.  A buddy and I were trippin balls and where in the big train station in New York City.  Things were delayed by a serious snow storm, but still moving.  We thought it was a good idea to play Frisbee while we waited for our delayed train.  After about a half hour or so some cops gathered and my buddy suggested that perhaps we were drawing unnecessary attention winging a Frisbee across the station.  We sat against a wall and tried to look nonchalant.  I took out the book and pretended to read as the cops approached.  My bookmark was a sheet of blotter.  After a few minutes the cops were satisfied we were not a problem and they were leaving when one of them pointed out to me that my nonchalant act would be working better if the book were not being held upside down.

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
First time I read this was during a train ride.  A buddy and I were trippin balls and where in the big train station in New York City.  Things were delayed by a serious snow storm, but still moving.  We thought it was a good idea to play Frisbee while we waited for our delayed train.  After about a half hour or so some cops gathered and my buddy suggested that perhaps we were drawing unnecessary attention winging a Frisbee across the station.  We sat against a wall and tried to look nonchalant.  I took out the book and pretended to read as the cops approached.  My bookmark was a sheet of blotter.  After a few minutes the cops were satisfied we were not a problem and they were leaving when one of them pointed out to me that my nonchalant act would be working better if the book were not being held upside down.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

I love New York City.  You could get away with almost anything back then.

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
@Otis has offered to pay for an Extreme WOW suite at the W in the French Quarter as a way to bury the hachet with Rok. 

I can work on getting the necessary supplies, right now thinking two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers...and also a quart of tequila, a quart of a rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls
Click to expand...
Wow.  Even Tiger would be jealous of this drug smorgasbord. 

So, you expect Rok to maintain his sobriety during all this?

 
I really wish Rok would check in and let us know how everything is going.  I keep waiting for/dreading the "my ex decided to stay in England, I can only get a tourist visa so I can't work, meaning my moving there is an impossibility.  So, I just got 2 4-packs of Busch cans and got hammered" post.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
I really wish Rok would check in and let us know how everything is going.  I keep waiting for/dreading the "my ex decided to stay in England, I can only get a tourist visa so I can't work, meaning my moving there is an impossibility.  So, I just got 2 4-packs of Busch cans and got hammered" post.
Click to expand...
If he's not posting he's sober....so actually a pretty good streak for him. 

:thumbup:

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Baloney Sandwich said:
@Otis has offered to pay for an Extreme WOW suite at the W in the French Quarter as a way to bury the hachet with Rok. 

I can work on getting the necessary supplies, right now thinking two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers...and also a quart of tequila, a quart of a rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls
Click to expand...
Sounds good...

...I've lined up Ralph Steadman to document the damage done.

 
I'm trying to write some of my book. I got a computer from ny old job. My MS license isn't active. Is there a free word processor I can download that will do the trick as good as word?

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

odin33
Seeking medical and legal advice- Handling of daughter's outpatient surgery
Replies
15
Views
700
Terminalxylem
Terminalxylem
rockaction
So I Was Exchanging, Uh, Telephone Lines With Juju Smith-Schuster This Morning
Replies
12
Views
712
rockaction
rockaction
Senor Schmutzig
I had a heart attack this weekend...
2 3
Replies
115
Views
4K
Mr.Pack
Mr.Pack

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top