Softball work leeg shtick (1 Viewer)

[Peyton Marino]

My work managed to cobble together a softball team for a local leeg.  We're all pretty tight so should be a good time.  We're sponsored by a local bar that's supposed to give us drink specials after games too. 

I played baseball through HS, but this will be my first softball experience.  I've already asked our captain various shtick esoteric sabermetrics questions (what's the historical run environment of the league?  wOBA constants? what's our pitcher's xFIP?) and recommended getting everybody together for a batting cage session Thursday to get baseline exit velocity readings, but what are some other (less nerdy) shtick things to do during games?

 

[Parrothead]

wear eyeblack and act serious..  oh, and make sure you rock the dual batting gloves..

 

[Dan Lambskin]

you should develop some odd quirk for your batting stance or something

 

[ArbyMelt]

crowd the plate, lean into the pitch and let the ball hit you, and sprint as fast as you can to first base.

 

[fantasycurse42]

I enjoy staring down the pitcher after hitting a home run and after about 10 seconds at the plate, a full sprint around the bases.

 

[Mr. Ected]

Ask about walk-up music.

ETA: If they won't provide it, get someone to be in the stands and do it for you.

 

[Parrothead]

ask for jersey #69

 

[playin4beer]

Slow pitch is hard to hit for a baseball player... Don't strike out...

 

[dozer]

If you slide into a base and make incidental contact with the opposing player, make sure you stand up quickly and get all puffy chested in his/her face.

 

[Bogart]

Don't swing until the pitcher proves he can throw you a strike. Everyone enjoys Mr. OBP spouting off how a walk is as good as a hit. Especially if that that walk takes a really long time to happen.

 

[James Daulton]

How has Zow not taken over this thread yet?

 

[belljr]

ask for jersey #69

I hate myself everyday

 

[jon_mx]

Other teams love it when you hit shots at their pitcher.  

 

[Wrigley]

PM: Woz

 

[skol asylum]

Walk up to the plate, point to the outfield calling your shot, and proceed to bunt.

 

[playin4beer]

Also, wear your hat backwards, drink lots of beer and talk about how good you were in High School...

 

[Bucky86]

Wear yoga pants

 

[dozer]

Hey batterbatterbatterbatter SWING!!

 

[fantasycurse42]

Ask about walk-up music.

ETA: If they won't provide it, get someone to be in the stands and do it for you.

This is as good as softball shtick will get

 

[mr roboto]

@Woz this is your one and only chance to be useful. 

 

[Bull Dozier]

Baseball pants, knee high, with colored socks (stirrup style if you can find them), flip up sun glasses, eye black, extra pair of batting gloves sticking out the back pocket.

 

[E-Z Glider]

Talk a bunch of smack and then blow out your hammy on your first AB. That's always great shtick. 

 

[doowain]

As others have said, wear eye black, dual batting gloves, arm bands, oakley sunglasses (or even the ones that flip up), brand new off the shelf cleats....so at least you'll look good when you pop out to the pitcher.

 

[Peyton Marino]

good stuff in here.  we don't have numbered jerseys but i could use duct tape to put the number 69 on my back and the name "NICE" above it.

 

[gianmarco]

Call time with your hand back at the ump several times during your plate appearance just as the pitcher is about to pitch.  Make sure to readjust your jewels each time, making eye contact with different members of the opposing team each time.

 

[Cjw_55106]

Batting gloves don't bother me in the least. However, your are a certified doosh if you wear the full softball pant. 

 

[Peyton Marino]

another good one I just thought of, after someone takes an AB and comes back to the bench i'll sidle up next to him and ask something like "are you seeing him well?  what kind of stuff does he have?"

 

[gianmarco]

Swing and miss wildly on every first pitch.  Slam your bat into the ground as if it was an equipment issue and then go change your bat.  As you walk back in, kiss and caress it and whisper "please don't fail me now".

 

[gianmarco]

Glare at the catcher and ask him to stop crowding you as you walk into the batter's box.  Before he has a chance to move, ask the ump "Hey blue, can you do something about this guy?"

 

[belljr]

Bunt

 

[doowain]

Seeds.  Plenty of seeds.  You need to leave a mound of shells on the field every time you are out there.

 

[belljr]

Seeds.  Plenty of seeds.  You need to leave a mound of shells on the field every time you are out there.

This is schtick?   I still do this coaching my kids games :unsrue:

 

[doowain]

This is schtick?   I still do this coaching my kids games :unsrue:

There is a fine line in there where it becomes shtick.  

 

[Mr. Ected]

Ask about walk-up music.

ETA: If they won't provide it, get someone to be in the stands and do it for you.

This is as good as softball shtick will get

I'm sure if the FFA puts their heads together we could come up with some songs.

 

[Zegras11]

in the dugout, talk about Blues hockey.

 

[gianmarco]

Call out loudly to every player on your team that there's 0 outs whenever you take the field at the start of every inning.  Every once in a while, start to trot off the field with only 2 outs and then act amazed when you find out there's still 1 more out to go.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

I'm sure if the FFA puts their heads together we could come up with some songs.

"Darling Nikki"

Every time you get a hit you can point at the pitcher and thank him/her for a funky time.

 

[E-Z Glider]

Call out loudly to every player on your team that there's 0 outs whenever you take the field at the start of every inning.  Every once in a while, start to trot off the field with only 2 outs and then act amazed when you find out there's still 1 more out to go.

are you making these up? this would be great hidden camera reality show stuff. 

 

[Jackstraw]

Eh batter better, eh batter batter SWING!

 

[belljr]

After you get a hit, start running to third instead of first....

 

[gianmarco]

Get a shirt with "I OWN YOU #####ES" as the name.  Every time up to bat, turn around, put the bat down, and point with both hands to it making sure their entire team sees it.  Make sure to do some toe touches before actually stepping in.

 

[CletiusMaximus]

I once came directly from work and played in my suit - with jacket and tie for full effect.

 

[gianmarco]

Get a large team flag.  Circle the bases while holding the flag at the start of every game making sure to do a run by the opposing team's dugout.  Bring it out with a healthy wave for every run scored. 

 

[James Daulton]

Get drunk before the game.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

Volunteer to play catcher.  Roll the ball back to the mound after every pitch.

 

[belljr]

Get a large team flag.  Circle the bases while holding the flag at the start of every game making sure to do a run by the opposing team's dugout.  Bring it out with a healthy wave for every run scored. 

This guy would get murdered 

 

[gianmarco]

Then there's things you can do when you have a huge lead.

1)  Intentional walk to a batter with the catcher jumping outside to catch the ball

2)  Don't move during an infield single and let it just roll and leave it there without picking it up.  Guy will just run to first and then wonder what's going on.  If he keeps going, wait until he's rounding 3rd so you can have a close play at the plate.

3)  No throws.  Outfielders just run every ball in they catch.

 

[hagmania]

Switch hit every pitch.

 

[fantasycurse42]

cartwheel over home plate every time you score.

 

[gianmarco]

Team National Anthem at the start of every game with hats off.  If you can arrange some guys to sing in harmony, that's just bonus.