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Story Time with EG - ***OFFICIAL THREAD*** (The "Magnum Opus" is complete 5/17/18) (4 Viewers)

Evilgrin 72 said:
Sean : "He was SO mad.  He just kept pointing to that fenced-in paddock where they keep all the carts and gesturing to you to drive there.  I was right behind you on the other cart.  He just kept pointing in that direction and then you asked him if you could smell the inside of his hat.  I almost died."
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:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Preakness story coming soon, but in the meantime, this one is recent and hopefully good for a chuckle.  Plus, it's quick to write because I'm going to copy/paste an e-mail chain to give most of the details.

A few days before Christmas, the Ox and I went on our 6th annual Christmas round of golf.  We started this tradition back in 2012 - we go to the same golf course every year and play 18 holes for the unnamed family championship.  A few years, Yams was able to accompany us but is never a factor in who wins because he sucks even more than we do (for posterity, the Ox won in 2012 and 2016, I won in 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2017.)  This year, as in several past, our friend Sean came with us and in Yams' absence, his girlfriend Rachel played this year as well.  The one caveat with this "tournament" is that the Ox and I both have to buy and bring an 18-pack of beer with us and in order to win the title, you not only have to post the lowest score, you also have to drink the entire 18 pack over the course of the round.

We started the day at 11:00 at a Colombian restaurant near the golf course and over huge plates of bandeja paisa, we each had 3 Presidentes to start things off right.  Always a good idea when you have an 18 pack to consume over the next few hours.  After lunch, we went next door to the Winn Dixie and selected our 18-packs of choice.  Loaded up the coolers and made the short drive to the course.  Now, a word about this golf course.  It's an executive course, and it might be the s--ttiest golf course in the world.  It's roughly $18 to play 18 holes with a cart, it's barely maintained, sand "puddles" on the greens, etc.  A total abomination.  That's why we play here every year, besides being cheap, no one really cares if you're an ###hole during your round.  We would NEVER get away with our style of "play" on a real golf course, for reasons that will soon be clear.  We get there and pay the guy in the "clubhouse", who happens to be a mute.  I don't want to venture a guess as to what his story is or why he can't talk, but he can't.  He looked just like the guy in the wheelchair that switches on the ball return in "Kingpin" when the hustlers take Woody's hand off, if you know the movie.  Anyway, we pay him, get the keys to the carts, load them up with beer and the clubs and head to the first tee.

Things are relatively uneventful until we get to about the 5th or 6th hole.  The Ox has a gleam in his eye as he pulls out the "treat" he brought with him, a pint flask of Code Rum (local FL artisanal rum, kind of like Captain Morgan but with more spice - 70 proof.)  I groan in fear just before I take a lengthy pull. 

8th hole - the Ox recommends shotgunning a beer so we can keep our 18 beers/18 holes pace up.  I naturally agree.

9th hole - another looooooong pull of rum.

10th hole - an older guy on a cart pulls up to the tee as we're sitting there.  I'm pissing in the trees just off the tee box as the Ox, Sean, and Rachel are smoking a huge bowl.  He asks to play through, which is hard to hear over Slayer's "Raining Blood" BLASTING through the bluetooth speaker we have hooked to our cart.  He looks at us like we're aliens as I look at him and wonder why he chose to play THIS golf course.  He plays through and gets the hell out of there, FAST.

12th hole - we finish the rum and shotgun another beer.  Things are beginning to get very, very hazy.

15th hole - around here is where I black out entirely.  I literally don't remember finishing the 18 packs (we did) or the round (we also did.)  The next thing I remember after playing the 14th was waking up in the car and being in my driveway at home.  I stumbled into the house, put all my crap away and passed out cold.

The next day, this was the e-mail chain (reformatted and names expurgated)

Rachel : "I had so much fun yesterday guys, thanks for letting me be a part of it!"

EG : "No problem, it was great to have you. Glad you had fun.  I don't remember #### after about the 14th hole until I woke up in the front seat sitting in my driveway.  Somehow, my clubs, sunglasses, speaker and cooler all made it back safely.  I even put the speaker on the USB charger, I was clearly running on autopilot."

Sean : "Does the speaker still work OK?"

EG : "What do you mean?"

Sean : "Holy ####, you don't remember your cart shenanigans?"

Ox : "Oh man, it's all coming back to me, now.  Didn't we drive over a car stopper in the parking lot?"

Sean : "Yep.  At full speed. [EG,] you don't remember this?"

EG : "Not at all, but I just checked and the speaker works fine.  What the hell happened?"

Sean : "Holy ####, dude.  You were driving the cart right after we finished and [Ox] was in the passenger seat.  You were doing laps around the parking lot and chugging beer where there were no lights and drove over the concrete spot divider at full speed.  Seriously, you had to be going almost 30 and BOOM.  EVerything flew out of the cart except you and [Ox] - the speaker, the clubs, the cooler with no beer left in it, your sunglasses, balls, tees.  It was brutal."

Ox : "HAHAHAHAHAHA - nice work, [EG].  I only sort of remember."

EG : "I have absolutely no memory of this.  I blame the rum, and the fact that the parking lot lighting was inadequate.  Also, the cart may have been malfunctioning.  Basically, I blame everything except myself."

Rachel : "OMG, I can't believe you don't remember.  You guys kill me.  It was legit the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.  You tried to start doing laps again after and the guy from the clubhouse that can't talk jumped into the cart after [Ox] got out.  He was so pissed and then you just looked over at him and went 'Oh, OK.  Hi.  Merry Christmas' and then stomped on the gas again and took off with him in it. So fkn funny"

EG : "At least he can't tell anyone about it."

Sean : "He was SO mad.  He just kept pointing to that fenced-in paddock where they keep all the carts and gesturing to you to drive there.  I was right behind you on the other cart.  He just kept pointing in that direction and then you asked him if you could smell the inside of his hat.  I almost died."

EG : "Jesus Christ.  I have literally zero recollection of any of this."

Rachel : "Then, the manager or whatever of the golf course came out and started yelling.  He asked you your name and you gave hima  fake name."

Sean : "You were doing Jerky Boys, you told him your name was Frank Rizzo.  He wrote it down and then was trying to ask you something else, but you kept yelling out a phone number.  He kept opening his mouth to yell at you and you would yell louder '6-8-0-5 !!!!!'  He finally gave up but its probably good that we aren't going there for another year."

Ox : "Damn I wish I could remember any of this"

EG : "I'm kind of glad I don't.  NEVER STOP PARTYING !!!!"

Ox : "Hahaha - Chainsaw!"

Yes, I'm 45 years old.
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I lost it at "can I smell the inside of your hat."  Dammit man, that is pure gold at anytime, but blackout drunk its, hell, its inspired. 

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
10th hole - an older guy on a cart pulls up to the tee as we're sitting there.  I'm pissing in the trees just off the tee box as the Ox, Sean, and Rachel are smoking a huge bowl.  He asks to play through, which is hard to hear over Slayer's "Raining Blood" BLASTING through the bluetooth speaker we have hooked to our cart.  He looks at us like we're aliens as I look at him and wonder why he chose to play THIS golf course.  He plays through and gets the hell out of there, FAST.
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the only way to golf. 

:thumbup:   :lmao:

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Now, the question presents itself, was he wearing a hat?  Not that it matters and it is good either way, just curious.
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I honestly don't know. I assume he was because I think Sean would have mentioned it if he wasn't, but who knows? I have to guess that I wouldn't have asked that if he wasn't wearing one, but I also have no idea what the hell prompted me to ask that even if he was. After 21 beers and roughly 8 ounces of rum in about 6 hours, I could have thought he was the Pope for all of know. 

 
I feel hungover  just for reading this...........

It is amazing, and not, that your back is not completely jacked up as a result!!   The not part because you were too hammered to tense up  #jealous 

ETA - Who won? 

 
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gianmarco said:
Putting the speaker on the charger is elite level functioning.
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Not only that, but my phone was on its charger, my sunglasses were in the little sunglass slot in my car, the cooler was emptied and put back in the garage, the clubs were in their spot, my clothes were in the hamper, and I brushed my teeth, and had a bottle of water on the nightstand. I was amazed.

What sucked was having to pick my niece up at 11 the next morning and take her to the zoo all day. I made it, but let me tell you, when you're extremely hung over and nauseous, there's nothing quite like zoo scents to settle your stomach. 

 
I almost forgot too, the next day at the zoo with my niece (Ox's 11 year old daughter,) who do I run into but Sean's parents. We're making small talk and he's asking me who won golf and I tell him that his son was in the mix for 9 holes but fell off down the stretch. My niece chimes in with :

"Dad said Mr. Sean was playing pretty well early on but then he drank too much and fell apart." 

Sean's dad : "Oh boy."  

Niece : "Dad went to bed at 7:30. So, you know. Take it with a grain of salt." 

:lmao:

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Preakness story coming soon, but in the meantime, this one is recent and hopefully good for a chuckle.  Plus, it's quick to write because I'm going to copy/paste an e-mail chain to give most of the details.

A few days before Christmas, the Ox and I went on our 6th annual Christmas round of golf.  We started this tradition back in 2012 - we go to the same golf course every year and play 18 holes for the unnamed family championship.  A few years, Yams was able to accompany us but is never a factor in who wins because he sucks even more than we do (for posterity, the Ox won in 2012 and 2016, I won in 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2017.)  This year, as in several past, our friend Sean came with us and in Yams' absence, his girlfriend Rachel played this year as well.  The one caveat with this "tournament" is that the Ox and I both have to buy and bring an 18-pack of beer with us and in order to win the title, you not only have to post the lowest score, you also have to drink the entire 18 pack over the course of the round.

We started the day at 11:00 at a Colombian restaurant near the golf course and over huge plates of bandeja paisa, we each had 3 Presidentes to start things off right.  Always a good idea when you have an 18 pack to consume over the next few hours.  After lunch, we went next door to the Winn Dixie and selected our 18-packs of choice.  Loaded up the coolers and made the short drive to the course.  Now, a word about this golf course.  It's an executive course, and it might be the s--ttiest golf course in the world.  It's roughly $18 to play 18 holes with a cart, it's barely maintained, sand "puddles" on the greens, etc.  A total abomination.  That's why we play here every year, besides being cheap, no one really cares if you're an ###hole during your round.  We would NEVER get away with our style of "play" on a real golf course, for reasons that will soon be clear.  We get there and pay the guy in the "clubhouse", who happens to be a mute.  I don't want to venture a guess as to what his story is or why he can't talk, but he can't.  He looked just like the guy in the wheelchair that switches on the ball return in "Kingpin" when the hustlers take Woody's hand off, if you know the movie.  Anyway, we pay him, get the keys to the carts, load them up with beer and the clubs and head to the first tee.

Things are relatively uneventful until we get to about the 5th or 6th hole.  The Ox has a gleam in his eye as he pulls out the "treat" he brought with him, a pint flask of Code Rum (local FL artisanal rum, kind of like Captain Morgan but with more spice - 70 proof.)  I groan in fear just before I take a lengthy pull. 

8th hole - the Ox recommends shotgunning a beer so we can keep our 18 beers/18 holes pace up.  I naturally agree.

9th hole - another looooooong pull of rum.

10th hole - an older guy on a cart pulls up to the tee as we're sitting there.  I'm pissing in the trees just off the tee box as the Ox, Sean, and Rachel are smoking a huge bowl.  He asks to play through, which is hard to hear over Slayer's "Raining Blood" BLASTING through the bluetooth speaker we have hooked to our cart.  He looks at us like we're aliens as I look at him and wonder why he chose to play THIS golf course.  He plays through and gets the hell out of there, FAST.

12th hole - we finish the rum and shotgun another beer.  Things are beginning to get very, very hazy.

15th hole - around here is where I black out entirely.  I literally don't remember finishing the 18 packs (we did) or the round (we also did.)  The next thing I remember after playing the 14th was waking up in the car and being in my driveway at home.  I stumbled into the house, put all my crap away and passed out cold.

The next day, this was the e-mail chain (reformatted and names expurgated)

Rachel : "I had so much fun yesterday guys, thanks for letting me be a part of it!"

EG : "No problem, it was great to have you. Glad you had fun.  I don't remember #### after about the 14th hole until I woke up in the front seat sitting in my driveway.  Somehow, my clubs, sunglasses, speaker and cooler all made it back safely.  I even put the speaker on the USB charger, I was clearly running on autopilot."

Sean : "Does the speaker still work OK?"

EG : "What do you mean?"

Sean : "Holy ####, you don't remember your cart shenanigans?"

Ox : "Oh man, it's all coming back to me, now.  Didn't we drive over a car stopper in the parking lot?"

Sean : "Yep.  At full speed. [EG,] you don't remember this?"

EG : "Not at all, but I just checked and the speaker works fine.  What the hell happened?"

Sean : "Holy ####, dude.  You were driving the cart right after we finished and [Ox] was in the passenger seat.  You were doing laps around the parking lot and chugging beer where there were no lights and drove over the concrete spot divider at full speed.  Seriously, you had to be going almost 30 and BOOM.  EVerything flew out of the cart except you and [Ox] - the speaker, the clubs, the cooler with no beer left in it, your sunglasses, balls, tees.  It was brutal."

Ox : "HAHAHAHAHAHA - nice work, [EG].  I only sort of remember."

EG : "I have absolutely no memory of this.  I blame the rum, and the fact that the parking lot lighting was inadequate.  Also, the cart may have been malfunctioning.  Basically, I blame everything except myself."

Rachel : "OMG, I can't believe you don't remember.  You guys kill me.  It was legit the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.  You tried to start doing laps again after and the guy from the clubhouse that can't talk jumped into the cart after [Ox] got out.  He was so pissed and then you just looked over at him and went 'Oh, OK.  Hi.  Merry Christmas' and then stomped on the gas again and took off with him in it. So fkn funny"

EG : "At least he can't tell anyone about it."

Sean : "He was SO mad.  He just kept pointing to that fenced-in paddock where they keep all the carts and gesturing to you to drive there.  I was right behind you on the other cart.  He just kept pointing in that direction and then you asked him if you could smell the inside of his hat.  I almost died."

EG : "Jesus Christ.  I have literally zero recollection of any of this."

Rachel : "Then, the manager or whatever of the golf course came out and started yelling.  He asked you your name and you gave hima  fake name."

Sean : "You were doing Jerky Boys, you told him your name was Frank Rizzo.  He wrote it down and then was trying to ask you something else, but you kept yelling out a phone number.  He kept opening his mouth to yell at you and you would yell louder '6-8-0-5 !!!!!'  He finally gave up but its probably good that we aren't going there for another year."

Ox : "Damn I wish I could remember any of this"

EG : "I'm kind of glad I don't.  NEVER STOP PARTYING !!!!"

Ox : "Hahaha - Chainsaw!"

Yes, I'm 45 years old.
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Not to be a ##### but I hope at 45 you didn't drive home blackout drunk.

 
Hawks64 said:
Not to be a ##### but I hope at 45 you didn't drive home blackout drunk.
Click to expand...
God, no. I knew I was going to be drinking 18 beers (hadn't counted on the rum or the 3 beers with lunch.) If Rachel hadn't been around to go/drive, we would have taken an Uber. 

 
Angry Beavers said:
I feel hungover  just for reading this...........

It is amazing, and not, that your back is not completely jacked up as a result!!   The not part because you were too hammered to tense up  #jealous 

ETA - Who won? 
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I did. :lmao:

I thought the same thing the next day when I heard about what happened. I'm amazed I didn't have a scratch or bump on me. I think it's because I was hammered and it was apparently REALLY dark where I was driving around. I imagine that by the time I even knew I had gone over the divider, it had already happened, if that makes sense. 

 
My story is similar except my buddy drove the cart into a pond.  He calls me the next Monday from his office asking why his cell phone doesn't work and why his golf bag/shoes smell like bird ####.  I just sent him an email of a picture of him standing on top of a golf cart in the middle of a pond with beers in each hand yelling "yippe ki yay mother####ers!"

 
Judge Smails said:
:lmao:

Frank Rizzo? Tell me you called the mute Sizzle Chest. And how are Rachel’s cans again?
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Not bad. Sean's my age and has 2 kids, he got divorced a couple of years ago and started dating this gal, she's 25. :lol: Looked good in yoga pants golfing, but has no idea who the Jerky Boys are. 

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Bonus vignette for Thanksgiving. Tell this one around the dinner table tomorrow. I thought this was already here, but realized I posted it in a different thread. 

One time, we were in St. Maarten and hanging out on the beach talking to two really attractive young ladies when I see an odd look come over Yams' face. He excuses himself and steals off into the ocean and swims pretty far out. I have no idea why or that anything is wrong. After a minute or two, the two ladies and I decide to go for a dip as well, since it was about 100 degrees outside. We begin to swim out to where Yams is, figuring he's just cooling off as well. He doesn't see us until we're about 20-30 feet away, as he was kind of facing away from us. As we draw closer, he hears us and turns his head and I see a look of horror on his face. He just starts shouting : "NO ! NO ! NO ! NO ! NO !" with metronomic consistency. I'm completely befuddled, as are our two new friends..... until...... all of a sudden, about a thousand little marble-sized turdlets start popping up all around him, followed by a brown foam. As we slowly realized what was going on, the girls started exclaiming : "Oh my God. OH MY GOD !!" I looked up and saw a mask of exasperation, hopelessness, and humiliation on his face like I have never seen before or since. The girls started slowly backing up as he starts trying to swim away from the s#itcloud, but it's following him as he moves. I'm laughing so hard I thought I was going to pass out as he's trying to escape from his own detritus, cursing it the entire time. Then, his tone turns from anger/disgust to shock/fear as he yells out : "Jesus Christ, something just swam up my bathing suit leg. Someth- what the f#ck? Dude, there's something in my suit...."

"THERE'S A FISH NIBBLING ON MY SACK !!!!"

To this day, I have no idea whether there really was a fish scoping out his beanbag, but at the time he said it, on top of how hard I was already laughing, it put me over the edge. I laughed so aggressively that I threw up in the ocean, hard. Now imagine you're these two girls. One minute you're having a conversation with two mildly attractive, fairly erudite, somewhat humorous guys. The next, one of them is spraying diarrhea like champagne in an NBA locker room after the Finals while screaming about a fish biting his scrotum, and the other is violently regurgitating fish tacos. At this point, they were swimming away from us with such vigor that Michael Phelps wouldn't have caught them.

We didn't score.
Click to expand...
I'm dead. :lmao: :lmao: :cry: :lmao: :lmao:

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
I almost forgot too, the next day at the zoo with my niece (Ox's 11 year old daughter,) who do I run into but Sean's parents. We're making small talk and he's asking me who won golf and I tell him that his son was in the mix for 9 holes but fell off down the stretch. My niece chimes in with :

"Dad said Mr. Sean was playing pretty well early on but then he drank too much and fell apart." 

Sean's dad : "Oh boy."  

Niece : "Dad went to bed at 7:30. So, you know. Take it with a grain of salt." 

:lmao:
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Holy crud... :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

From the mouth of babes...

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
I e-mailed Sean last night to ask him if the guy was wearing a hat, will advise... 
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If so we need to obtain that hat for you so you can give it a sniff.  I'll take the lead on this project if you give me the address of the course where Mutie McCartface works.  Seems to me the hat would be a perfect traveling trophy for each years winner to hold until the next year's tournament.

 
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Sean just wrote back :

"Yes, he was wearing a hat.  That doesn't explain why you asked him if he likes 'Star Trek' though.  Then, right as you were parking the cart, you started asking him if he found you attractive.  That was about the time that the manager started yelling at you."

JFC.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Sean just wrote back :

"Yes, he was wearing a hat.  That doesn't explain why you asked him if he likes 'Star Trek' though.  Then, right as you were parking the cart, you started asking him if he found you attractive.  That was about the time that the manager started yelling at you."

JFC.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Sean just wrote back :

"Yes, he was wearing a hat.  That doesn't explain why you asked him if he likes 'Star Trek' though.  Then, right as you were parking the cart, you started asking him if he found you attractive.  That was about the time that the manager started yelling at you."

JFC.
Click to expand...
hey, if you are going to go gay probably best to do it with someone that won't blab about it

 
Snickers said:
hey, if you are going to go gay probably best to do it with someone that won't blab about it
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:lmao:

This is the advantage/disadvantage to going out and drinking heavily while doing something.  If I'm moving around, I can operate for hours while blacked out and somehow not get myself killed/arrested in the process.  If I'm at home or just parked in a bar sitting for hours, I pass out when I get to that point these days.  Wasn't always the case, but once I hit my mid-late 30s, if I'm sedentary and drinking at this rate, I ultimately just fall asleep sitting up wherever I am.  As soon as I got into the car after the golf trip, I apparently zonked out within 5 minutes and slept sitting up the entire 25 minute drive home. 

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
Currently trying to cross-correlate these courses

http://www.par3-executive-golf.com/FloridaCounties.htm

with the name Mutie McCaretface so that I can find that hat for EG.  Thus far no luck.
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Unless I missed it, it's not on that list.  It barely qualifies as a golf course.

My suggestion would be : get a phone book and start calling every course in it until you hit one where the phone picks up and no one says hello.  Just dead silence on the other end of the line.  That's the one.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Unless I missed it, it's not on that list.  It barely qualifies as a golf course.

My suggestion would be : get a phone book and start calling every course in it until you hit one where the phone picks up and no one says hello.  Just dead silence on the other end of the line.  That's the one.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
That's what makes it a party!
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It was so f###ing funny.  I can never tell if any of these little tidbits are anywhere near as funny in print as they were when they happened.  I mean, I read it and I have the exact mental image of his face/voice, etc.. but I don't know how it conveys via the written word.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
It was so f###ing funny.  I can never tell if any of these little tidbits are anywhere near as funny in print as they were when they happened.  I mean, I read it and I have the exact mental image of his face/voice, etc.. but I don't know how it conveys via the written word.
Click to expand...
It holds up, trust me.  If you doubt it try this thought experiment.  Run that scenario through your head imagining others saying it, take for starters famous actors. Ttry it with Tom Cruise voice and mannerisms, John Travolta, Christain Bale, John Malkovich, Jimmy Stewart or anyone else.  Try to imagine them doing it not funny. Just not possible.  The line, the situation, they exude humor, they extrude humor, it flows like effluvium into the ocean.

 
@Evilgrin 72

As a hypothetical... if I had a 40th birthday bash in Vegas and my only request... nay, my only DREAM, was that you were there... you couldn't possibly say no, right?

 
Man I can't wait until my golf outing this year, although I probably need to tone it down after last year.  I'm not quite the wordsmith EG is but let's just say I probably averaged at least drink a hole and took a couple of edibles ( I've probably gotten high 3 times in the last 5 years) midway through.  I think around the 15th I told my buddy we had to call it quits and go grab some food in the clubhouse, but I maybe got a couple bites of something and proclaimed I needed some fresh air.  Things get a little foggy here but apparently I decided I should lay down right at the clubhouse entrance for a nap.  Luckily I was rescued before the cops were called.  Ended up passing out in my buddies wife's truck with about $100 of charity raffle tickets and finally walked into the after party dinner as they were closing up

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
It holds up, trust me.  If you doubt it try this thought experiment.  Run that scenario through your head imagining others saying it, take for starters famous actors. Ttry it with Tom Cruise voice and mannerisms, John Travolta, Christain Bale, John Malkovich, Jimmy Stewart or anyone else.  Try to imagine them doing it not funny. Just not possible.  The line, the situation, they exude humor, they extrude humor, it flows like effluvium into the ocean.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

This makes me so happy...

 
Worm said:
@Evilgrin 72

As a hypothetical... if I had a 40th birthday bash in Vegas and my only request... nay, my only DREAM, was that you were there... you couldn't possibly say no, right?
Click to expand...
I would never "say" no.  If I could show up and act an ### at everyone's parties, everywhere on Earth, I would.  You, my friend, would be at the top of that list.  In terms of actually making it happen logistically... well, that's where I usually run into problems.

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Sean just wrote back :

"Yes, he was wearing a hat.  That doesn't explain why you asked him if he likes 'Star Trek' though.  Then, right as you were parking the cart, you started asking him if he found you attractive.  That was about the time that the manager started yelling at you."

JFC.
Click to expand...
This just keeps getting worse (better?)  I wrote back to him this morning : "I can't for the life of me figure out why I would have asked him if he likes 'Star Trek.'  I don't even watch Star Trek.  I actually feel a little bad - I'm sure this was funny, but that poor ******* had to have been so confused."

He just wrote back : "I'm sure he was baffled.  You confused me even. I meant to ask you about this on Christmas Eve. AFter the manager was barking at you and you kept yelling 6805 back at him, you twisted your body so you were half facing away from him and farted then yelled "WORLDSTAR" and ran away back to the car.  What the hell does that mean?"

 
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