Ted Cruz buys 100 cans of chunky soup following honeymoon (1 Viewer)

[Peyton Marino]

I loathe Gawker but this story was too weirdly amazing not to post:

When I married Ted, we got back from our honeymoon, and he went off to the store and came home by himself. And I was completely shocked to see that he arrived back at our apartment with literally 100 cans of Campbell’s Chunky soup. I never bought 100 of anything.

This was shocking to me, so we had a tough conversation about it. I said, “You don’t buy 100 of anything, much less canned soup. We can’t do this. I’ll be making things.” He said, “No, I know you. you won’t be making things.”

So the next morning, it was a weekend morning, I loaded up our car before he woke up and returned every single can. And when I got home, I called my mother just to make sure I’d done the right thing as a newlywed. And she emphatically disagreed with me. And so when Ted opened the pantry, I had to quickly tell him that I would go back and buy those cans again.

 

[SacramentoBob]

The ####?

 

[cstu]

Onion, right?

 

[sho nuff]

If there is ever a perfect use of   this may be it.

 

[Parrothead]

he likes his soup like he likes his women

 

[dutch]

he likes his soup like he likes his women

watery, salty and sprinkled with chunks?

 

[James Daulton]

Maybe he just made a tremendous deal.  I mean a really great deal on the 100 cans of soup.   

 

[SacramentoBob]

Maybe he just made a tremendous deal.  I mean a really great deal on the 100 cans of soup.   

Trump would've killed him in a 100 cans of soup deal.

 

[Peyton Marino]

The ####?

yes.

 

[SacramentoBob]

yes.

He's just a really ####### weird dude.  That alone doesn't disqualify him from being President, but WTF?  He's like an alien in a comedy moving badly pretending to be human.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Trump would've killed him in a 100 cans of soup deal.

And Trump's wife would have looked better than Cruz's wife while making the soup.

 

[TheMagus]

I'm scratching my head wondering what the moral of this story could have been other than my husband is a ####### weirdo. 

 

[SacramentoBob]

I'm scratching my head wondering what the moral of this story could have been other than my husband is a ####### weirdo. 

"I'm completely subservient to my weirdo husband".

I love the fact that he told her she was a lazy no cooking ##### to her face though.

 

[cstu]

I'm scratching my head wondering what the moral of this story could have been other than my husband is a ####### weirdo. 

The wife is too - returns 100 cans of soup only to buy them back again.

 

[Parrothead]

And Trump's wife would have looked better than Cruz's wife while making the soup.

Trump's wife wouldn't know how to turn on a cooktop

 

[Skoo]

I like how the story ends with her going back to get the 100 cans of soup...

What did her mom tell her to make her realize Cruz is actually a completely normal and sane person?

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

“No, I know you. you won’t be making things.”

How incredibly unromantic.

Getting married, as a man one of the pleasures of life and your wife's is she acts the wife and makes you meals. HS what a killjoy.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Onion, right?

I don't think Campbell's makes onion soup in a chunky style.

 

[cstu]

I like how the story ends with her going back to get the 100 cans of soup...

What did her mom tell her to make her realize Cruz is actually a completely normal and sane person?

She didn't:

"I know he's a weird, creepy guy who buys a ridiculous amount of soup at one time but you could live in the White House someday!"

 

[Dinsy Ejotuz]

WTH?

I read the title and couldn't resist finding out what the heck it meant.  It didn't even occur to me that it actually meant Ted Cruz buys 100 cans of chunky soup following honeymoon.

 

[Cjw_55106]

I like how the story ends with her going back to get the 100 cans of soup...

What did her mom tell her to make her realize Cruz is actually a completely normal and sane person?

Technically, it said she would go back and buy them. It doesn't say if she really did. 

I'm guessing she didn't....but I also would have bet Ted wouldn't buy 100 cans of soup. 

 

[TheAristocrat]

At least we know how the Cruz Oval Office will be decorated.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

At least we know how the Cruz Oval Office will be decorated.

Too bad Andy Warhol won't be alive to see it.

 

[Mookie]

Of Marriage and Soup

 

[James Daulton]

Well, he is Canadian.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Well, he is Canadian.

Ain't that the truth.

 

[Peyton Marino]

i think my favorite part is the "you don't buy 100 of anything" take.  seems random.  where is the cutoff?

 

[Chadstroma]

Being from L.A. and not knowing snow- when after moving to Chicago I had a ton of canned food in my pantry. When my wife and I started dating and she was over and opened the pantry she asked me why I had so many canned food. I said, 'well, in case of getting snowed in'. She laughed. Non-stop. For a long time. I was like

I still will bulk up on buying something that has a long shelf life when I can get it very cheap (beyond your normal 'sale' cheap) but 100 is a whole lot of cans of soup.

 

[Sand]

And Trump's wife would have looked better than Cruz's wife while making the soup.

Yeah, like Melania has ever made soup in her life.  

 

[joffer]

He probably used them for target practice with his bacon machine gun.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Yeah, like Melania has ever made soup in her life.  

The White House has it's own cooks so the whole point is mute.

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

Yeah, like Melania has ever made soup in her life.  

I'd get her to make some soup all right.

 

[Sand]

The White House has it's own cooks so the whole point is moot.

Biggest perk ever. 

(sorry for the grammar correction - I guess I'm an ####### today).

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Actually I meant to say mute. Go cook me some soup now.

 

[shader]

What a weirdo

Unless its Chef Boyardee Ravioli.  That stuff is awesome

 

[TLEF316]

This is only slightly weirder than their description of their first date on last night's town hall.

"Tell me about your entire family, starting with the birth of your grandparents".

I'll be trying that one out on Tinder next week.

 

[Godsbrother]

Now we understand where the phrase "soup to nuts" came from.

 

[Ignoramus]

The wife is too - returns 100 cans of soup only to buy them back again.

You know that grocery store checker was pissed the third time she saw that buggy full of soup.

 

[The General]

That's not as weird as the collection of severed doll heads he keeps in his attic.

 

[Ignoramus]

i think my favorite part is the "you don't buy 100 of anything" take.  seems random.  where is the cutoff?

Six.

 

[Thunderlips]

He's just a really ####### weird dude.  That alone doesn't disqualify him from being President, but WTF?  He's like an alien in a comedy moving badly pretending to be human.

Going to have to steal this. 

 

[The General]

This is only slightly weirder than their description of their first date on last night's town hall.

"Tell me about your entire family, starting with the birth of your grandparents".

I'll be trying that one out on Tinder next week.

Wait, what? He said that

 

[McJose]

Yeah, buying 100 cans of soup

is totally normal

 

[5-ish Finkle]

watery, salty and sprinkled with chunks?

Chunky and in the can.

 

[TLEF316]

Wait, what? He said that

He absolutely said it.

Dude is a ####### weirdo.

 

[The General]

He absolutely said it.

Dude is a ####### weirdo.

He has to be the lamest person on the planet.

It is amazing how far he has come however with such odd social skills.

 

[apalmer]

That's not as weird as the collection of severed doll heads he keeps in his attic.

Those aren't doll heads.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

maybe he thought she said they needed to consommé their marriage?

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Now we understand where the phrase "soup to nuts" came from.

This isn't getting enough love.

 

[The General]

he likes his soup like he likes his women

Salty and smelling vaguely of peas and canned meats.