The Great Kid Debate (1 Viewer)

[El Floppo]

Everyone kept telling me, when we were younger, that my wife would change. That she would eventually get the desire to have kids. Knowing her as I did, I seriously doubted it but left open the possibility. We'd talk about it every once in a while and thankfully there was never even the slightest hint that her thinking was changing. I'm guessing I would have gone along with it if she did and I think we would have been good parents but I'm glad she didn't change her mind.

I always wanted kids- have a real soft spot for them.. even other people's kids.  the wife has never been a "kids" person, but felt like it was important to have them (for her own reasons). she would watch me play and take care of nephews, nieces etc and wonder what kind of mom she was going to be- she just hated or was ambivalent towards other people's kids. but I knew... I knew who she was as a person and woman- that as soon as our kids showed up, she would be an amazing mom to them... and she is. all that to say- I am pretty confident you guys would suck at parenting. (...  ...)

 

[jamny]

I always wanted kids- have a real soft spot for them.. even other people's kids.  the wife has never been a "kids" person, but felt like it was important to have them (for her own reasons). she would watch me play and take care of nephews, nieces etc and wonder what kind of mom she was going to be- she just hated or was ambivalent towards other people's kids. but I knew... I knew who she was as a person and woman- that as soon as our kids showed up, she would be an amazing mom to them... and she is. all that to say- I am pretty confident you guys would suck at parenting. (...  ...)

We're not even ready for another dog yet.  Too much responsibility.

 

[jwb]

I will add to this- as people in your late 30s, IIRC, make a decision sooner than later for a couple of reasons: the obvious increased chances of problems with the pregnancy plus, it really does get physically harder for the woman to be pregnant. you also never know if you'll need to go the fertility route, which will add further time and expense. 

our good friend was married in her mid 30s and both were ambivalent about kids. when they decided to go for it, it became apparent one of them wasn't working. the dude #####-footed around and she ultimately dumped him. fast forward and she and the new guy had to go through a few years of fertility treatments (losing one along the way)... she spent the last four months of her recent pregnancy in her mid 40s on bed-rest. (baby is beautiful and healthy).

When my wife and I married, I was 33, and she was 37. One year into our marriage, we talked about kids. We decided to try for two years (until she was 40). But we decided that it was not going to be an obsession - if it happened, great. If not, that's fine too. So no tests, no fertility, no obsessing over it. Just lots of unprotected sechs. 

After two years, it didn't happen, and I went and got snipped. Basically because we wanted to know where the rest of our lives were going. I'm now 50, and she's 54. We're good with it. 

 

[kface]

I think a lot of people don't understand just how hard raising kids is, especially if you don't have a close extended family unit right around the corner to provide the help.  Kids are 24/7 until they are well past 5.  Facebook has distorted people's views of kids because there is such a belief that you can just throw them in a carrier and go climb a mountain.  Sure there are some kids that is possible but most it won't be.  What that picture doesn't convey is it took 8 hours and 4 hours of crying and feeding to travel the 200 foot climb.

 

[eoMMan]

I think a lot of people don't understand just how hard raising kids is, especially if you don't have a close extended family unit right around the corner to provide the help.  Kids are 24/7 until they are well past 5.  Facebook has distorted people's views of kids because there is such a belief that you can just throw them in a carrier and go climb a mountain.  Sure there are some kids that is possible but most it won't be.  What that pictures doesn't convey is it took 8 hours and 4 hours of crying and feeding to travel the 200 foot climb.

Yeah, we have 2 dogs...one is a huge #######....I can only imagine how stressful and how much work 1 or more kids would be. 

Pass, imo.

We actually have a married female friend who is going through a very stressful time with a FT job, two young kids, trying to go back to college, and a husband who works lots of overtime. Sounds rough.

 

[kface]

Yeah, we have 2 dogs...one is a huge #######....I can only imagine how stressful and how much work 1 or more kids would be. 

Pass, imo.

We actually have a married female friend who is going through a very stressful time with a FT job, two young kids, trying to go back to college, and a husband who works lots of overtime. Sounds rough.

I think most studies show that young kids are a major strain on relationships.  We have two sets of friends that are both on the brink of separating with a 2 year old in the house.  

 

[eoMMan]

This made me laugh....


DONALD GLOVER: NOT THAT DIFFERENT


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I'd much rather have AIDS than a baby... They're not that different at all. They're both expensive, you have them for the rest of your life, they're constant reminders of the mistakes you've made and once you have them, you pretty much can only date other people who have them.

 

[cstu]

Yeah, we have 2 dogs...one is a huge #######....I can only imagine how stressful and how much work 1 or more kids would be. 

Pass, imo.

We actually have a married female friend who is going through a very stressful time with a FT job, two young kids, trying to go back to college, and a husband who works lots of overtime. Sounds rough.

I'm not a fan of the second kid, especially if money is an issue.