**the mental health thread** (2 Viewers)

[bostonfred]

No harm taken, GB. 

I’m actually a what you see is what you get guy. I probably over share more than put up walls. And I’m more trustful than I probably should be. 

I remember when I worked at the golf course. I worked there for 5 summers. On my last day, the second in command for the greens keeper came up and said, “When I first met you, I could tell you were a shady kid hiding something under your fake kindness. But I quickly realized how wrong I was. You’re so kind and nice that it comes off as insincere.” I took that as a huge compliment. But it also made me realize that others don’t see me the way I’d hope. 

I definitely don’t have any walls. At least none that I’m aware of. 

I don't know how other people see you but I've always thought you were one of the most entertaining storytellers here. Guys like you, @shuke,  @General Malaise, @Otis, mojorizin, @Mr. Ham and a few others were part of the best years of the FFA in part because you did overshare, and knew how to embellish a story but still keep the heart of it that made it fun, and weren't afraid to put yourselves out there like when you made yourself look dumb in front of your boss. I've always admired that and I've tried to learn how to get better at it from you and the other good people here.  

There's countless good people here and I'm not trying to name them all, but that specifically is what i have always thought about you and I'm really glad to have iMet you and been in your orbit for a while.  

 

[bostonfred]

My sister has gone through and is going through some PTSD from psychological abuse for about a decade of marriage and a year and half of post divorce hell.  They have three boys and my sister has not been able to re-insert herself back into the job force or frankly doing any type of regular day to day transactions.  She freaks out and thinks she is losing her mind only having to pick up and drop off their three boys from events and practices.  She doesn't work and she only has the kids Thurs to Sun.  She doesn't communicate well and everyone is always trying to check in and see how she is doing, etc.

I'm the only one in the family that has a solid, trusting relationship with her. My mom and my other sister have done some things to make her feel alienated and resentful. The bottom line for me now is I'm struggling with balancing 100% empathetic support vs trying to interject some tough love to help get her get going again. Any time I try to bring up constructive, transactional goals for her she just shuts down and wants everyone to know what she's gone through and why she can't get back to "normal."

She seems to know everything that is wrong with her. The triggers that set her off, her nervous system that needs repaired, her proper healing time, etc. I'm really trying to be empathetic, but they sound like excuses to move to not have to move forward. I'll be back in Chicago to see her next so hoping that some face time will help the situation.

I went through the same things with my brother and I have some regrets about how I handled it.  It's a really difficult line between wanting to help and being a trusted confidant.  Sometimes the best question to ask yourself is, which does she need more right now, helpful advice, or a confidant? 

Another good question to ask is whether you're enabling her or empowering her.  If she's telling you she can't do something, and you do it for her, or help her to avoid consequences, you might be enabling her to continue avoiding the unpleasant behaviour.  And soon she'll look for you whenever she wants to avoid something, and blame you when you can't help.  That's not good. 

But that doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't help.  It just means using the help as an opportunity to "plus one" her in some way.

Like if she's having a hard time with paying her bills on time, even though she has the money, you might want to help her by just doing the bills. But that's really dangerous because she may see you as part of the bill paying process and start looking to you for money. No bueno. You might also be tempted to tell her what she's doing wrong, but that sucks too because now she feels like she's been scolded and that makes people feel really bad.  

So maybe instead sit down with her and do your bills together.  Show her how you use online bill pay and how you keep track of whether you paid a bill on time.  Then do hers with her, and focus on the process.  Which bills do you have? When are they due each month?  When do you usually pay them?  Is it better to pay them automatically the day you get paid? Or later? How do you send one time bill payments?  How do you keep track of any bills left this month?  Just going over those basic life skills with someone else helps to make it less intimidating when you're doing it for yourself. But it's still up to her to do the work.  That's empowering, not enabling. 

I hope it all works out for you and her. She's lucky to have someone like you who cares.  

 

[bostonfred]

Just wanted to say that reading some of this thread there's a lot of good people in here and not enough time to respond to all of the posts I'd like to but I hope people are doing well and if anyone is feeling down you can @ me or send me a personal message. I'm sure others here would be cool with getting a message too. 

We are all dealing with a lot of #### at this stage in our lives.  Parents getting older or dying, or children getting to be more complex and challenging, family members needing help, work getting more complicated and the risk of losing our jobs or paying bills is more stressful. We're dealing with other people's problems while our own get more complicated and sometimes it feels like there's no point, or that we're not doing enough, and our lives aren't what we'd expected but there's no easy way to get back on track. That's the most normal thing in the world to feel and I suspect most of us feel it from time to time.  If it ever gets to a point you need someone to listen publicly or privately drop a line. 

 

[TheIronSheik]

I don't know how other people see you but I've always thought you were one of the most entertaining storytellers here. Guys like you, @shuke,  @General Malaise, @Otis, mojorizin, @Mr. Ham and a few others were part of the best years of the FFA in part because you did overshare, and knew how to embellish a story but still keep the heart of it that made it fun, and weren't afraid to put yourselves out there like when you made yourself look dumb in front of your boss. I've always admired that and I've tried to learn how to get better at it from you and the other good people here.  

There's countless good people here and I'm not trying to name them all, but that specifically is what i have always thought about you and I'm really glad to have iMet you and been in your orbit for a while.  

Thanks, GB. I really appreciate the kind words. It’s weird because I can always over share when I’m going for the joke. But not so much when it’s a serious subject. 

 

[bostonfred]

Thanks, GB. I really appreciate the kind words. It’s weird because I can always over share when I’m going for the joke. But not so much when it’s a serious subject. 

That's probably because you use humor exceptionally well as a social skill and also use it pretty well as a defense mechanism, and you've avoided learning how to cope with serious feelings.  Like a lot of us. And that's fine because we either convince ourselves we don't have serious feelings or avoid dealing with them until they become crises.  We're trained not to admit vulnerability except when we're joking at our own expense so that becomes the only way we can do it.  Some of us respond with too much self deprecating humor, others bottle it up until it gets to be too much.  If you want to change it, find someone you're comfortable sharing things with - a friend, a professional, or just us here. 

 

[wikkidpissah]

I like the idea a lot.  The name could probably use work. It's not a bad name it just distracts from what you're trying to say, and even if you make it work in your book it will still be hard for someone who reads it to share the idea with someone who hasn't read it.  

I want to hear more about this human owner's manual.  You're one of the most interesting humans I've met in my internet wandering and I hope part of the project includes your stories but I'm interested regardless.

nice of you to say. i wish the Manual could be more anecdotal, but the point of it is to be a manual for the modern personality, something we've used so poorly that i need be Socratic in edifying the general public about. human personal growth simply has not kept pace with technology and that becomes more dangerous to us and the planet each passing day. i am of the belief that, as one of those trusty dead white men once said, "self-reform does more to change the world than any crowd of noisy patriots", so i've set out to write a guidebook to proper and fulfilling self-reform. i've no patience with the wound-licking, excuse-making and drug-dealing of modern psychiatry and seek to replace it with new moral rigor, solid brain science and a close eye to the evolutionary equivalents to behavioral development that we've mistaken so greatly. essentially, life grooves neural pathways we feel compelled to blindly follow and i feel that the power of the pre-frontal cortex is great enough to re-route our courses as soon as we can establish what mental health & equilibrium actually is. thanks for your interest & input - i'll try to be worthy of it.

 

[bostonfred]

replace it with new moral rigor, solid brain science and a close eye to the evolutionary equivalents to behavioral development that we've mistaken so greatly. 

This sounds great.  I hope you'll keep us posted. 

 

[munga30]

I used to wake up on occasion coughing my head off for no apparent reason. Enough that I'd take an allergy pill. I get seasonal allergies but only for a short time in the spring and this would happen at any time, even in the winter with the windows closed. I bought a HEPA air filter and from the first night it made a huge difference. There's also the added benefit of the fan noise acting like a white noise machine to drown out other ambient sounds to help you sleep. 

Mold inspection?  Just a thought.  

 

[TheIronSheik]

Mold inspection?  Just a thought.  

I've had it while living in 3 separate places.  Allergy meds don't seem to affect it.  I've been to an allergist, and ENT and a dermatologist and they all are stumped.  I've been experiencing it for about a decade and it's slowly getting worse.  I feel like either one night I'm just not going to wake up because I go into anaphylactic shock and suffocate.  Or I'm going to go insane from not being able to sleep.  I'm basically having an allergic reaction to something but the allergist says it's not allergies because antihistamines don't have any effect.  

 

[bostonfred]

I've had it while living in 3 separate places.  Allergy meds don't seem to affect it.  I've been to an allergist, and ENT and a dermatologist and they all are stumped.  I've been experiencing it for about a decade and it's slowly getting worse.  I feel like either one night I'm just not going to wake up because I go into anaphylactic shock and suffocate.  Or I'm going to go insane from not being able to sleep.  I'm basically having an allergic reaction to something but the allergist says it's not allergies because antihistamines don't have any effect.  

Do you keep track of your food intake?  If not then I would definitely start. It could be something weird like

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/02/unexplained-cases-allergic-reactions-linked-red-meat

I am not a doctor and this is not medical advice but i would also check out whole30 to see if you have some kind of food intolerance.  

Do you have any dental problems? Gum bleeding, etc.?  

Have you had a sleep study done?  If you're having trouble sleeping it could be sleep apnea plus something else. 

Have you tried a hypoallergenic pillow case and vacuuming the #### out of everything? 

And after asking all that... what are the symptoms? 

 

[TheIronSheik]

Do you keep track of your food intake?  If not then I would definitely start. It could be something weird like

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/02/unexplained-cases-allergic-reactions-linked-red-meat

I am not a doctor and this is not medical advice but i would also check out whole30 to see if you have some kind of food intolerance.  

Do you have any dental problems? Gum bleeding, etc.?  

Have you had a sleep study done?  If you're having trouble sleeping it could be sleep apnea plus something else. 

Have you tried a hypoallergenic pillow case and vacuuming the #### out of everything? 

And after asking all that... what are the symptoms? 

I've switched out pillows, blankets, sheets, mattresses... everything.  The one odd thing is that usually it works for about 5 days.  Then it's back.  Which makes me think it's something I'm picking up from somewhere and spreading elsewhere.  

They symptoms are that I get very hot.  Like my skin is on fire.  But no rash.  My nose will clog up which makes me think that whatever is having an allergic reaction isn't my skin, it's below the skin.  Like how my nose doesn't swell up, but the inside does.  My body feels like it's putting off heat on par with Chernobyl.  When I first started experiencing it, I thought I was getting a fever and sick.  But my wife will touch me and she says my skin doesn't feel hot.  When I'm laying in bed, my entire body seems to react and I'll wake up having a tough time breathing.  If I stand up and move away from anything touching my skin, I feel an immediate cool down and my nose unclogs.  Honestly, if it wasn't for my nose clogging up and my eyes burning when it gets bad, I'd almost think it was all in my mind.  I tell doctors and they look at me like I'm crazy.  It just wears on me.  It sucks when you feel horrible and no one knows what it is or in some cases, believes it's real.

 

[mr. furley]

sounds like inflammation... but why?

do you take an anti-inflammatory?

i am actually a doctor

Dr. Johnny Fever

 

[TheIronSheik]

sounds like inflammation... but why?

do you take an anti-inflammatory?

i am actually a doctor

Dr. Johnny Fever

I have it prescribed to me, but it's a "use as needed" prescription for my back.  But you might be onto something.  I might try this before bed and see if it makes a difference.

 

[bostonfred]

I've switched out pillows, blankets, sheets, mattresses... everything.  The one odd thing is that usually it works for about 5 days.  Then it's back.  Which makes me think it's something I'm picking up from somewhere and spreading elsewhere.  

This is interesting.  

Does that mean this happens every night (unless you switch your bedding)?  Or is it sporadic?   

Does it go away if you wash your bedding in hot water?  Or only if you swap out your bedding with new? 

Do you use a mattress protector?  Mattress topper?  Memory foam/ tempurpedic/ etc.?   

Does this happen if you stay in a hotel or at someone else's house?  Does this only happen on work days by any chance?  

On the days that it goes away, do you still get congested?   Still hot? 

Have you tried taking a shower before bed? Wearing more or less clothing (like full body PJs or sleeping nekkid)?  

And again - how's your dental health?  Any bleeding/ inflammation?  The whole30 thing i mentioned earlier is all about inflammation. Maybe you've got food allergies/ sensitivity?  

 

[TheIronSheik]

This is interesting.  

Does that mean this happens every night (unless you switch your bedding)?  Or is it sporadic?  Sporadic.  But it can last for a week, then disappear for a week. 

Does it go away if you wash your bedding in hot water?  Or only if you swap out your bedding with new? No.  Hot water doesn't seem to affect it.  Only brand new stuff will feel good, but even then, that's not a guarantee.  I can go on a business trip and have the same reaction to the hotel bed on night one.

Do you use a mattress protector?  Mattress topper?  Memory foam/ tempurpedic/ etc.?   I have a terrible reaction to memory foam.  Memory foam will make my muscles weak if I sleep on it for too long.  It's horrible.  We have a wool mattress topper and cotton sheets that are washed every week.

Does this happen if you stay in a hotel or at someone else's house?  Does this only happen on work days by any chance?  It can happen anywhere.  I've had it flare up at work.  I can be on a friend's couch.  

On the days that it goes away, do you still get congested?   Still hot? No.  They all are connected and will come and go together.

Have you tried taking a shower before bed? Wearing more or less clothing (like full body PJs or sleeping nekkid)?  Yup.  All that.  It seems like less clothes makes it worse.  But I've also tried sleeping where pretty much no skin was touching anything and it can still happen.  But skin exposed is much worse.

And again - how's your dental health?  Any bleeding/ inflammation?  The whole30 thing i mentioned earlier is all about inflammation. Maybe you've got food allergies/ sensitivity?  Good dental health.  No food allergies.  I do have terrible allergies to almost everything else under the sun except cats, dogs and down.  

 

[TheIronSheik]

I have it prescribed to me, but it's a "use as needed" prescription for my back.  But you might be onto something.  I might try this before bed and see if it makes a difference.

So last night I tried this and no issues.  This would be crazy if this turned out to be the fix.  Still wouldn't know the cause, but I'm more worried about the fix right now.

 

[mr. furley]

So last night I tried this and no issues.  This would be crazy if this turned out to be the fix.  Still wouldn't know the cause, but I'm more worried about the fix right now.

possibly some low grade infection you need to get checked out?  could be stress.. could be foods you're eating 

Ibuprofen is pretty harmless. keep taking a couple pills per night and see if it helps for a week or so. 

 

[TheIronSheik]

possibly some low grade infection you need to get checked out?  could be stress.. could be foods you're eating 

Ibuprofen is pretty harmless. keep taking a couple pills per night and see if it helps for a week or so. 

But this is where I'm thinking you might be on to something.  I take those Meloxicam before bed sometimes as needed.  But I've never put together if the nights that I don't have issues coincide with those nights I take those pills.  I'm going to keep taking a pill each night (or Aleve) and see if it stays away.  If it does, at least I can go back to my doctor and let them know.

I can't imagine it's some sort of infection, though, since it's been going on for a decade.  You'd think that infection would've killed me by now. 

 

[mr. furley]

But this is where I'm thinking you might be on to something.  I take those Meloxicam before bed sometimes as needed.  But I've never put together if the nights that I don't have issues coincide with those nights I take those pills.  I'm going to keep taking a pill each night (or Aleve) and see if it stays away.  If it does, at least I can go back to my doctor and let them know.

I can't imagine it's some sort of infection, though, since it's been going on for a decade.  You'd think that infection would've killed me by now. 

hopefully this anti-inflammatory works and turns out to be a helpful clue for your doc

 

[Poke_4_Life]

But this is where I'm thinking you might be on to something.  I take those Meloxicam before bed sometimes as needed.  But I've never put together if the nights that I don't have issues coincide with those nights I take those pills.  I'm going to keep taking a pill each night (or Aleve) and see if it stays away.  If it does, at least I can go back to my doctor and let them know.

I can't imagine it's some sort of infection, though, since it's been going on for a decade.  You'd think that infection would've killed me by now. 

Odd question, do you ever get symptoms when not laying prone?  I'm not a doctor (also didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night) but is there something happening when laying down that is helping trigger this?

 

[TheIronSheik]

Odd question, do you ever get symptoms when not laying prone?  I'm not a doctor (also didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night) but is there something happening when laying down that is helping trigger this?

Not totally.   And I say that because it can happen when I'm sitting on the couch, as well.  It seems to happen when my skin is in contact with some sort of surface. So at my desk at work, it rarely happens because my head, neck and upper back aren't touching anything.  

There will be times I'm sitting on the couch and will get so overheated that I feel like I'm going to throw up.  But if I move forward so that my back and head aren't laying against the back, I will immediately start to cool down and feel better.  

And if I take a cold shower or put an ice pack on an area that's hot, it'll cool me down, too.  

 

[TheIronSheik]

Everything was going great.  Then yesterday, sitting on the couch, I felt the overheating on my neck and back that was laying against the couch.  I immediately took the Meloxicam that had been working so well.  It seemed like it helped a little, but the couch was more powerful. I eventually moved to the floor, which was freezing and it started to fade.  I went back to the couch and within a couple of minutes, it was on fire again.  

When I went to bed, I popped another pill and laid down under the covers.  But I did something I don't usually do, and went to sleep in the clothes I was wearing while laying around the house all day.  I ended up waking up like so many other nights where I thought I was overheating or having trouble breathing.  The pills had no effect.  

Now, I'm not sure if the pills didn't work, or if whatever causes this reaction was transferred to my clothes.  And then from my clothes to under the blankets.  Whatever it is, it was a huge setback.  It seemed like I might be onto something, but not so sure after last night.  

 

[TheIronSheik]

One other issue with all of this is that when I start to get that overheating feel, it leads to horrible panic attacks.  Now, I've had panic attacks before but maybe like once a month.  In the past year, I seem to get about 5 to 6 a week.  And they are bad.  And they love to hit at work.

I have no idea what causes them.  It's not like I'm worrying about something or something obvious triggers them.  In fact, a lot of times, the thought of having one is usually what triggers it.  Like I'll be sitting at my desk and think, "Ooo.  This is usually when it happens."  Then I feel my heart flutter and begin to race.  

Anyone have anything that works for them when having a panic attack?  I've tried deep breathing but that doesn't seem to work.  

 

[CurlyNight]

One other issue with all of this is that when I start to get that overheating feel, it leads to horrible panic attacks.  Now, I've had panic attacks before but maybe like once a month.  In the past year, I seem to get about 5 to 6 a week.  And they are bad.  And they love to hit at work.

I have no idea what causes them.  It's not like I'm worrying about something or something obvious triggers them.  In fact, a lot of times, the thought of having one is usually what triggers it.  Like I'll be sitting at my desk and think, "Ooo.  This is usually when it happens."  Then I feel my heart flutter and begin to race.  

Anyone have anything that works for them when having a panic attack?  I've tried deep breathing but that doesn't seem to work.  

My friend uses xanax but it does make her sleepy. Another uses paxil. High anxiety can cause physical manifestations like burning sensations. Maybe treating your anxiety will help with your other physical symptoms. Best wishes. Xx

 

[TheIronSheik]

My friend uses xanax but it does make her sleepy. Another uses paxil. High anxiety can cause physical manifestations like burning sensations. Maybe treating your anxiety will help with your other physical symptoms. Best wishes. Xx

I have Klonopin.  For most of my life I've dealt with panic attacks.  But not as often as they've been happening lately.  Was wondering more about non-medication things that help.

As for the burning, this is definitely the heat causing the panic attack.  Not the other way around.  It's almost like after I start to warm up like that, I begin to stress out about what's causing it.  And it sets off the panic attack.  

 

[CurlyNight]

I have Klonopin.  For most of my life I've dealt with panic attacks.  But not as often as they've been happening lately.  Was wondering more about non-medication things that help.

As for the burning, this is definitely the heat causing the panic attack.  Not the other way around.  It's almost like after I start to warm up like that, I begin to stress out about what's causing it.  And it sets off the panic attack.  

Maybe the klonopin stopped working if all else is basically equal? Maybe discuss this change in increase panic attacks with your psychiatrist if you haven't already? It's not uncommon for a med to stop helping and needing to try something else.

 

[song]

the old go to for panic attacks was breathing into a small paper bag like a lunch bag. i've seen it work a few times. i think it has to do with breathing higher co2 concentration.

i also think your physical symptoms are very likely caused by anxiety. you might want to look into CBT or DBT therapies for non immediate help, or EFT tapping for quicker results or an app like SuperBetter, Headspace, Happify, Calm, Mind Ease, MindShift, Personal Zen, or Stop, Breathe & Think. i've read some positive things about some of their results and that some are free.

Course lots of people take Xanax but.....  addictive and nasty withdrawal (duh).

P.S. Lady Gaga was on tv last week talking about how much DBT therapy had helped her PTSD.  was about to post and just read your latest post, so maybe never mind, but possible anxiety heat panic all of a piece? wish you the best.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Maybe the klonopin stopped working if all else is basically equal? Maybe discuss this change in increase panic attacks with your psychiatrist if you haven't already? It's not uncommon for a med to stop helping and needing to try something else.

The meds still work at this point.  But I don't want to have to be taking them every day.  I don't mind taking them once a month or whatever.  But I don't want to have to take one every day I work.  

 

[prosopis]

possibly some low grade infection you need to get checked out?  could be stress.. could be foods you're eating 

Ibuprofen is pretty harmless. keep taking a couple pills per night and see if it helps for a week or so. 

I would disagree with Ibuprofen being harmless. Recent studies are showing that is not the case.

 

[mr. furley]

I would disagree with Ibuprofen being harmless. Recent studies are showing that is not the case.

link?

i've read that it can be harmful in massive doses but as a sometime use deal my understanding is that it's as harmless as any otc drug one can take. but i'm always willing to learn more.

 

[CurlyNight]

I would disagree with Ibuprofen being harmless. Recent studies are showing that is not the case.

Ibuprofen long term use, high doses or mixed with certain medications I can see being harmful, but otc as directed once in awhile?

TheIronShiek should see a doctor if he hasn't already.

 

[prosopis]

link?

i've read that it can be harmful in massive doses but as a sometime use deal my understanding is that it's as harmless as any otc drug one can take. but i'm always willing to learn more.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/fda-strengthens-warning-that-nsaids-increase-heart-attack-and-stroke-risk-201507138138

 

[prosopis]

That was just the first one I saw. I know I have read other ones that were far more extensive. I have fairly bad arthritis and I try to stay up on the anti inflammatory side of things.

 

[CurlyNight]

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/fda-strengthens-warning-that-nsaids-increase-heart-attack-and-stroke-risk-201507138138

Using too much of any med poses a risk of some sort. That's why they say before taking anything to discuss your risk factors with your doc first. Rxs need to list every possible thing even if it's rare. One med I take for cancer can cause another kind of cancer. I need to be on it for min 10 years to hopefully not mets. But the chance of cancer is 1%. Another one lists death. So ask what the risk is really. That needs to weighed against possible benefits. Of course taking no meds is best like my 81 yo dad but at what cost. That's the question. Quality of life.

 

[prosopis]

Using too much of any med poses a risk of some sort. That's why they say before taking anything to discuss your risk factors with your doc first. Rxs need to list every possible thing even if it's rare. One med I take for cancer can cause another kind of cancer. I need to be on it for min 10 years to hopefully not mets. But the chance of cancer is 1%. Another one lists death. So ask what the risk is really. That needs to weighed against possible benefits. Of course taking no meds is best like my 81 yo dad but at what cost. That's the question. Quality of life.

I agree and that article is not the best. Just first one I found at the time. I have read a few of them and I feel this is something more than the usual risk. Personally I have stopped taking it as much as I used to. I was not taking more than recommended but I still stopped it after doing some research. I do still use it but ,it is infrequent.

 

[mr. furley]

found I had been running with a hernia and after surgery the recovery took longer than I wanted

how long we talking here? 

weeks? months?

 

[sho nuff]

how long we talking here? 

weeks? months?

Hell its been 7 years since then.   I don’t recall how long it took or i thought it should have.  It was awful though...

 

[mr. furley]

Hell its been 7 years since then.   I don’t recall how long it took or i thought it should have.  It was awful though...

i'm 10 days out and dying to run, but i know it's a terrible idea this soon. just walking still isn't totally comfortable.

hoping to be good in another week or two for some light, short runs. just trying to get some idea of what i'm in for.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

And the opposite as well. Being kind makes you feel better. Random kindness is great medicine. That's why many do well by volunteering for those less fortunate. I believe you get what you put out there. Being sarcastic mean to someone may make you seem cool to some but imagine how much we get from small kind words or acts we put out there. It's pretty therapeutic.

Are you calling me mean and sarcastic?

This one hit me a little harder today.


Your boy is hurting. I dont know why. Im just so overwhelmed right now.

I’m going to overshare I hopes that others who are hurting get help. I’m going to.



I’m sorry. It I’m going to trauma dump all over y’all today….

So much loss in my life. Two brothers, never met my father, the only man I’ve ever respected full, my grandfather, who was my only father figure died in 2008.

My best friend, whom I was closer to than my own brothers cut me out of his life after I got into it with his eventual wife. (She berated me for not being forthcoming about him cheating on her prior to their marriage when I had no knowledge of it)

I have plenty of friends but only two I trust. That’s because every other “friend” we had growing up either did us wrong, stole, set up, or even tried to kill us. Most of them are dead or in jail.

I was the only white kid growing up and experienced so much racism and hate forwards me from my peers. I fought back, survived and even thrived but it still haunts me.

My beautiful kids (16 and 18) both are ready giving me a hard time, probably because of me, not anything they’re doing wrong.

Wife is ALWAYS mad at me.

I just feel so lost.

I don’t really get along with others that well. People say how outgoing I am and personable but it’s all a facade. I hate peoples. Lol. I can just put on a mask.

You guys probably see it her. I don’t get along with some of you but honestly love you all.


I don’t think I’ve been living true to myself. I’ve been putting on a mak to try and overcome all these things but the cost is to much to bear.

I am NOT going to hurt myself or anybody else.

I’m just sad.

So that’s why I’m such an ******* my people. I’m ****ed up.

No matter how hard I try, I just seem to piss other soft. I’m abrasive and mean but on my heart I’m the opposite.


Time to talk to a pro I guess.

 

[Dezbelief]

Time to talk to a pro I guess.

Absolutely, don't hesitate brother, whatever the cost it is well worth it. We love you too! Let your family know you love them, with words. Teenagers will be mean to those they love, they don't truly understand how much their words and actions affect others.

You have PTSD from your childhood, even though you may not realize it. I have it from mine too and didn't realize until 2021.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Time to talk to a pro I guess.

Absolutely, don't hesitate brother, whatever the cost it is well worth it. We love you too! Let your family know you love them, with words. Teenagers will be mean to those they love, they don't truly understand how much their words and actions affect others.

You have PTSD from your childhood, even though you may not realize it. I have it from mine too and didn't realize until 2021.

Appreciate the kind words. Im a highly functional mess.

 

[Ilov80s]

And the opposite as well. Being kind makes you feel better. Random kindness is great medicine. That's why many do well by volunteering for those less fortunate. I believe you get what you put out there. Being sarcastic mean to someone may make you seem cool to some but imagine how much we get from small kind words or acts we put out there. It's pretty therapeutic.

Are you calling me mean and sarcastic?

This one hit me a little harder today.


Your boy is hurting. I dont know why. Im just so overwhelmed right now.

I’m going to overshare I hopes that others who are hurting get help. I’m going to.



I’m sorry. It I’m going to trauma dump all over y’all today….

So much loss in my life. Two brothers, never met my father, the only man I’ve ever respected full, my grandfather, who was my only father figure died in 2008.

My best friend, whom I was closer to than my own brothers cut me out of his life after I got into it with his eventual wife. (She berated me for not being forthcoming about him cheating on her prior to their marriage when I had no knowledge of it)

I have plenty of friends but only two I trust. That’s because every other “friend” we had growing up either did us wrong, stole, set up, or even tried to kill us. Most of them are dead or in jail.

I was the only white kid growing up and experienced so much racism and hate forwards me from my peers. I fought back, survived and even thrived but it still haunts me.

My beautiful kids (16 and 18) both are ready giving me a hard time, probably because of me, not anything they’re doing wrong.

Wife is ALWAYS mad at me.

I just feel so lost.

I don’t really get along with others that well. People say how outgoing I am and personable but it’s all a facade. I hate peoples. Lol. I can just put on a mask.

You guys probably see it her. I don’t get along with some of you but honestly love you all.


I don’t think I’ve been living true to myself. I’ve been putting on a mak to try and overcome all these things but the cost is to much to bear.

I am NOT going to hurt myself or anybody else.

I’m just sad.

So that’s why I’m such an ******* my people. I’m ****ed up.

No matter how hard I try, I just seem to piss other soft. I’m abrasive and mean but on my heart I’m the opposite.


Time to talk to a pro I guess.

It’s good to vent and get all that out. Definitely something nice about this place where despite us all talking regularly, there is still a lot of anonymity. If you don’t have someone in your life you think can be real with Iike this- I wouldn’t hesitate to seek a pro. It will take some work. You might not click with the first few people you sit down with. Also, it will require you to be open and vulnerable. That doesn’t necessarily happen right away but the more you are willing to lay it all on the table, the more it will help. Best of luck, you’ve already taken some of the toughest steps here.

 

[Dezbelief]

Time to talk to a pro I guess.

Absolutely, don't hesitate brother, whatever the cost it is well worth it. We love you too! Let your family know you love them, with words. Teenagers will be mean to those they love, they don't truly understand how much their words and actions affect others.

You have PTSD from your childhood, even though you may not realize it. I have it from mine too and didn't realize until 2021.

Appreciate the kind words. Im a highly functional mess.

I fully understand, sometimes when I look back at my childhood and early adulthood I'm amazed that I survived. My family is littered with functioning messes.

 

[Snoopy]

I definitely have PTSD from my childhood. And nothing to look forward to. I stated in another thread that I am on the spectrum. Seeing counseling.

God didn't make mistakes until he made me. #cursed #nevergoodenough

 

[Dezbelief]

I definitely have PTSD from my childhood. And nothing to look forward to. I stated in another thread that I am on the spectrum. Seeing counseling.

God didn't make mistakes until he made me. #cursed #nevergoodenough

You are good enough! You are not a mistake! I have much love for you and your bravery in opening up. There are plenty of things to look forward to and I hope in the near future you feel like there is plenty to be thankful for.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

I definitely have PTSD from my childhood. And nothing to look forward to. I stated in another thread that I am on the spectrum. Seeing counseling.

God didn't make mistakes until he made me. #cursed #nevergoodenough

I know how you feel. If it makes you feel any better, a whopping TWO FBGs have consoled me today. I’ve been on this board 20 years. If this was any other poster we’d be on page 25 already. It’s all good. I’m not even shocked by it.

Been counted out and hated on my entire life. That’s why I’m like like this. To protect myself Instead of feeling sorry for myself I use it as motivation. It’s me alone VS this cruel world and I’m a monster. That’s how I’ve always survived.

If you need to talk - I’m here for ya. Send me a PM if you don’t want to share here.

 

[Ilov80s]

I definitely have PTSD from my childhood. And nothing to look forward to. I stated in another thread that I am on the spectrum. Seeing counseling.

God didn't make mistakes until he made me. #cursed #nevergoodenough

I don’t really know you, can’t say we’ve crossed paths here much so I don’t have any great words of inspiration and can’t comment on your situation. I can’t lie and say it will be all good. I can say that I work with kids on the spectrum and kids with all sorts of social-emotional troubles. I’ve seen a lot of them really improve their lives, improve their well being and state of mind. It’s not easy, takes work and takes a willingness to take risks/step out of your comfort zone. That’s scary but it can really be worth it.

How’s the counseling going? How long have you been doing it?

 

[Ilov80s]

I definitely have PTSD from my childhood. And nothing to look forward to. I stated in another thread that I am on the spectrum. Seeing counseling.

God didn't make mistakes until he made me. #cursed #nevergoodenough

I know how you feel. If it makes you feel any better, a whopping TWO FBGs have consoled me today. I’ve been on this board 20 years. If this was any other poster we’d be on page 25 already. It’s all good. I’m not even shocked by it.

Been counted out and hated on my entire life. That’s why I’m like like this. To protect myself Instead of feeling sorry for myself I use it as motivation. It’s me alone VS this cruel world and I’m a monster. That’s how I’ve always survived.

If you need to talk - I’m here for ya. Send me a PM if you don’t want to share here.

I’m sure many don’t even know what the discussion here is. Plus it’s a Friday evening before a holiday weekend. Pretty slow time. I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know why I clicked on this thread. I hadn’t remembered seeing it up here at all recently. I think the only reason I did is that I’ve gone through some positive mental health growth myself recently and have been very involved in helping one of my students who was suicidal, going through substance abuse, etc. I do so much of this at work that I often try to avoid it off work hours, but lately it’s been so much on my mind that it’s become impossible (in a good way).

Anyway, I’m just rambling, my point is to say I wouldn’t take a lack of response personally. All of those threads are like their own little rooms and if you don’t step into them, you have no idea what’s even there.

 

[Snoopy]

I definitely have PTSD from my childhood. And nothing to look forward to. I stated in another thread that I am on the spectrum. Seeing counseling.

God didn't make mistakes until he made me. #cursed #nevergoodenough

I know how you feel. If it makes you feel any better, a whopping TWO FBGs have consoled me today. I’ve been on this board 20 years. If this was any other poster we’d be on page 25 already. It’s all good. I’m not even shocked by it.

Been counted out and hated on my entire life. That’s why I’m like like this. To protect myself Instead of feeling sorry for myself I use it as motivation. It’s me alone VS this cruel world and I’m a monster. That’s how I’ve always survived.

If you need to talk - I’m here for ya. Send me a PM if you don’t want to share here.

I am struggling to get through it myself so I have trouble consoling others, but I can relate to how you are feeling. I have been through hell and back at least 4 times for prolonged periods.

 

[Snoopy]

I definitely have PTSD from my childhood. And nothing to look forward to. I stated in another thread that I am on the spectrum. Seeing counseling.

God didn't make mistakes until he made me. #cursed #nevergoodenough

I don’t really know you, can’t say we’ve crossed paths here much so I don’t have any great words of inspiration and can’t comment on your situation. I can’t lie and say it will be all good. I can say that I work with kids on the spectrum and kids with all sorts of social-emotional troubles. I’ve seen a lot of them really improve their lives, improve their well being and state of mind. It’s not easy, takes work and takes a willingness to take risks/step out of your comfort zone. That’s scary but it can really be worth it.

How’s the counseling going? How long have you been doing it?

Diagnosed later in life as only the most severe forms of autism were recognized through my childhood. Meaning a lot of misdiagnoses and some of them were bad and put me in rotten situations. Been going for a couple months now, mainly venting trying to get rid of my demons.