1) Chatty helpful guy.
The guy who spills his secret sleepers to everybody who he see's strugling to find a pick.
Example: I'm in need of a RB3. I'm pick 2. I have my eyes set on a RB who could be a steal. Hightower. The draft snakes around to Round 7, pick 1 is up and is looking hard at his paperwork.
Pick 1: "Damn, I need a RB. Wheres Torrain ranked."
Chatty helpful guy: "No go with Tim Hightower, ESPN said he could be this years Foster."
Pick 1: "The guy on the Cardinals?"
Chatty helpful guy: "Oh no he's on the skins now. He's supposed to be the starter."
Pick 1: "Alright, I'll take Tom Hightower."
Chatty helpful guy: "Ha. No silly It's Tim."
Pick 1: "Oh ha. I mean Tim."
Me: "F**K."
2) The Must answer every phone call guy.
Commish: "Ok John your up."
John: "Ok let me get umm.. *ring ring*.. One sec guys. Hello? Yeah uh huh. Uh huh right. Ok. Ok. MMhmmm. I see."
Then john puts one finger in the air and proceeds to walk out of the room, leaving the rest of us saying, wtf.
3) The long distance guy on speaker phone
Why is this annoying? Because: A) It always sounds like they're in a jet plane. B) His kids are either playing Who Could Scream the Loudest or showing mommy their best ringo starr impression on her pots and pans. or the most annoying C) They never pay attention. Rather then keeping up with the picks, their either google image searching boobs or playing angry birds. Then you get this encounter.
Commish: "Jimmy you there?"
Jimmy Speaker phone: (amongst heavy white noise) Kids screaming: MOMMMY. MAAAAA *Bang* Bang* bang* bang* *telephone ring* Jimmys wife: ARE YOU DONE WITH THAT FOOTBALL #### YET?" Jimmy: F**kin relax! IN A SECOND!!!
Commish: "Jimmy!"
Jimmy: "Oh hey sorry guys. Who were the last 5 guys picked."
Commish: "Hillis, D.Jax, Wayne, rivers, and wallace."
Jimmy: "Ok let me get Rivers."
Commish: "I just said he was taken."
4) The Clueless new guy
This is the guy whose never been to a Fantasy draft before. There are positives to this. It's an easy win and the guys horrendous reaches leaves you with more of a chance to get the studs.
Positive:
Commish: Round 1 pick 2 goes to the new guy!
New Guy: Alright, let me get, Eli Manning.
Negative:
Commish: Round 11 pick 2 goes back to the new guy!
(new guy stares blankly at ceiling thinking of names he knows because he didn't bring any magaizines or cheat sheets.)
New Guy: Was Vick picked yet?
Commish: Yes hours ago.
New guy: Oh um.. how about... Jamon Charles.
Commish: Really?? Jamal went hours ago too.
(20 minutes later)
New guy: Rany moss?
Commish: Sure take him.
5) The guy who can't pronounce any names correctly.
Its usually the older guy with the glasses to the bridge of his nose whose mind can't comprehend a name thats not Joe, John, Steve or mike.
Commish: Danny Whats your pick?
Danny: "Matt Forty." "Jeremy Make-lan" " Austin Cooly" Houston QB Matt Shabe" "Laggerta Blue-ow-nt"
The guy who spills his secret sleepers to everybody who he see's strugling to find a pick.
Example: I'm in need of a RB3. I'm pick 2. I have my eyes set on a RB who could be a steal. Hightower. The draft snakes around to Round 7, pick 1 is up and is looking hard at his paperwork.
Pick 1: "Damn, I need a RB. Wheres Torrain ranked."
Chatty helpful guy: "No go with Tim Hightower, ESPN said he could be this years Foster."
Pick 1: "The guy on the Cardinals?"
Chatty helpful guy: "Oh no he's on the skins now. He's supposed to be the starter."
Pick 1: "Alright, I'll take Tom Hightower."
Chatty helpful guy: "Ha. No silly It's Tim."
Pick 1: "Oh ha. I mean Tim."
Me: "F**K."
2) The Must answer every phone call guy.
Commish: "Ok John your up."
John: "Ok let me get umm.. *ring ring*.. One sec guys. Hello? Yeah uh huh. Uh huh right. Ok. Ok. MMhmmm. I see."
Then john puts one finger in the air and proceeds to walk out of the room, leaving the rest of us saying, wtf.
3) The long distance guy on speaker phone
Why is this annoying? Because: A) It always sounds like they're in a jet plane. B) His kids are either playing Who Could Scream the Loudest or showing mommy their best ringo starr impression on her pots and pans. or the most annoying C) They never pay attention. Rather then keeping up with the picks, their either google image searching boobs or playing angry birds. Then you get this encounter.
Commish: "Jimmy you there?"
Jimmy Speaker phone: (amongst heavy white noise) Kids screaming: MOMMMY. MAAAAA *Bang* Bang* bang* bang* *telephone ring* Jimmys wife: ARE YOU DONE WITH THAT FOOTBALL #### YET?" Jimmy: F**kin relax! IN A SECOND!!!
Commish: "Jimmy!"
Jimmy: "Oh hey sorry guys. Who were the last 5 guys picked."
Commish: "Hillis, D.Jax, Wayne, rivers, and wallace."
Jimmy: "Ok let me get Rivers."
Commish: "I just said he was taken."
4) The Clueless new guy
This is the guy whose never been to a Fantasy draft before. There are positives to this. It's an easy win and the guys horrendous reaches leaves you with more of a chance to get the studs.
Positive:
Commish: Round 1 pick 2 goes to the new guy!
New Guy: Alright, let me get, Eli Manning.
Negative:
Commish: Round 11 pick 2 goes back to the new guy!
(new guy stares blankly at ceiling thinking of names he knows because he didn't bring any magaizines or cheat sheets.)
New Guy: Was Vick picked yet?
Commish: Yes hours ago.
New guy: Oh um.. how about... Jamon Charles.
Commish: Really?? Jamal went hours ago too.
(20 minutes later)
New guy: Rany moss?
Commish: Sure take him.
5) The guy who can't pronounce any names correctly.
Its usually the older guy with the glasses to the bridge of his nose whose mind can't comprehend a name thats not Joe, John, Steve or mike.
Commish: Danny Whats your pick?
Danny: "Matt Forty." "Jeremy Make-lan" " Austin Cooly" Houston QB Matt Shabe" "Laggerta Blue-ow-nt"