When Someone Close Truly Let You Down (1 Viewer)

[Johnny Rock]

I'm talking where a brother or sister, best friend, wife/husband or perhaps your dad REALLY let you down. It was intentional and showed their true character. The kind you never forget.

For me a few come to mind. Here's one.

Three years ago we had a tough growing season for our produce farm and stress was high with weeds, drought and low production. We rely on this income to supplement my regular job. You're always watching in autumn for frost which will ruin unprotected plants and fruit and end the season. Well, hard frost was coming in the next day or two and we were frantically picking everything in the fields. I took a couple days off work.

I called my second oldest brother, who was sitting at home on unemployment, to see if he could help as we were in dire straits. He lived an hour or so away at the time. He said he couldn't help because he didn't really want to spend the money on gas.

It was more about my brother being there for me when I needed the support than how much work he would've gotten done. Lost a lot of respect for him. Meanwhile, my FIL who was about 65 and my wife's aunt who is about 60, spent all day picking without complaint. Family helping family.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I honestly can't say anybody has ever let me down. Unless you count my wife passing out before we can have sex.

 

[Caesar]

I honestly can't say anybody has ever let me down. Unless you count my wife passing out before we can have sex.

I would think this would be to your advantage.

 

[AAABatteries]

My sister completely screwed over my BIL about as bad as one can; can't believe my sibling was capable of what she's done. I won't go in to details now - maybe one day.

 

[Bucky86]

My sister completely screwed over my BIL about as bad as one can; can't believe my sibling was capable of what she's done. I won't go in to details now - maybe one day.

Such a tease.

 

[Ketamine Dreams]

My sister completely screwed over my BIL about as bad as one can; can't believe my sibling was capable of what she's done. I won't go in to details now - maybe one day.

Such a tease.

Exactly. We feel more betrayed by not hearing the story than your BIL was by what your sister did.

 

[snogger]

I had a coin collection as a teenager that was worth around $500 which I thought I lost... a year later, while visiting my sister for her 2nd trip in for drug abuse treatment, she confessed to using it to buy alcohol and drugs. She spent them as normal cash.. $25.. :(

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I honestly can't say anybody has ever let me down. Unless you count my wife passing out before we can have sex.

I would think this would be to your advantage.

I'm a lot of things but rapist isn't one of them.

At least that's what I keep telling the police.

Whenever I've really needed somebody, they've always been there for me. Believe me I've noticed and how awesome people in my life have been to me is of the utmost importance to me. Love and respect.

 

[Long Ball Larry]

Probably when that ####er started the thread about the guy at the gym sniffing bicycle seats and then the whole thing turned out to be some kind of true detective joke or something.

sorry to hear about the trouble on your weed farm.

 

[McGarnicle]

I have an uncle whom I've always looked up to and respected, but he's battled alcohol addiction his whole life. If he gets another DUI, he's looking at major jail time. Couple years ago we were in town for a funeral and he borrows my wife's new car. Comes back hours later completely ####faced. Could have been a lot worse, but just pisses me off that he was that irresponsible when he should've learned his lesson by now. It's been a difficult transition over the years from admiration and respect to pity and disgust, but that's pretty much where I am.

 

[17seconds]

My mother in law has always been a pretty good one. Wife and I would joke about how we have the same personality and get along really well.

A year ago my wife and my MIL were in Hawaii visiting my wife's sister. I was home taking care of our 2 young kids and my mom happened to he visiting as well. I got really sick with the flu. Sickest I've been in my life. I lost almost 20lbs and it got so bad I decided to go to the emergency room. My mom took me there in my MIL's truck because it was blocking the other parked cars at the house.

My MIL was furious we used her truck. Why? Because there was all this latent hostility my MIL and wife had been holding against my mom for years. Everything I assumed about the relationship with my MIL was wrong and I learned a lot of things about my wife also. Things fell apart since then and it began sending my marriage downhill and I'm still barely hanging on.

 

[Das Boot]

My mother in law has always been a pretty good one. Wife and I would joke about how we have the same personality and get along really well.

A year ago my wife and my MIL were in Hawaii visiting my wife's sister. I was home taking care of our 2 young kids and my mom happened to he visiting as well. I got really sick with the flu. Sickest I've been in my life. I lost almost 20lbs and it got so bad I decided to go to the emergency room. My mom took me there in my MIL's truck because it was blocking the other parked cars at the house.

My MIL was furious we used her truck. Why? Because there was all this latent hostility my MIL and wife had been holding against my mom for years. Everything I assumed about the relationship with my MIL was wrong and I learned a lot of things about my wife also. Things fell apart since then and it began sending my marriage downhill and I'm still barely hanging on.

That's rough, I hope it somehow works out well for you.

 

[Johnny Rock]

My mother in law has always been a pretty good one. Wife and I would joke about how we have the same personality and get along really well.

A year ago my wife and my MIL were in Hawaii visiting my wife's sister. I was home taking care of our 2 young kids and my mom happened to he visiting as well. I got really sick with the flu. Sickest I've been in my life. I lost almost 20lbs and it got so bad I decided to go to the emergency room. My mom took me there in my MIL's truck because it was blocking the other parked cars at the house.

My MIL was furious we used her truck. Why? Because there was all this latent hostility my MIL and wife had been holding against my mom for years. Everything I assumed about the relationship with my MIL was wrong and I learned a lot of things about my wife also. Things fell apart since then and it began sending my marriage downhill and I'm still barely hanging on.

That's rough, I hope it somehow works out well for you.

No doubt. Hope you're ok GB. That's pretty messed up that they fake it so much that the push over the edge was borrowing a truck for a drive to the hospital because you probably thought you were going to die while your wife was on vacation in fricken Hawaii. Wtf?

 

[AAABatteries]

My sister completely screwed over my BIL about as bad as one can; can't believe my sibling was capable of what she's done. I won't go in to details now - maybe one day.

Such a tease.

Exactly. We feel more betrayed by not hearing the story than your BIL was by what your sister did.

Sorry - legal proceedings still going on. Had thought I may start a thread once it's all over.

 

[jon_mx]

My sister completely screwed over my BIL about as bad as one can; can't believe my sibling was capable of what she's done. I won't go in to details now - maybe one day.

Friday is good for me.

 

[jon_mx]

My mother in law has always been a pretty good one. Wife and I would joke about how we have the same personality and get along really well.

A year ago my wife and my MIL were in Hawaii visiting my wife's sister. I was home taking care of our 2 young kids and my mom happened to he visiting as well. I got really sick with the flu. Sickest I've been in my life. I lost almost 20lbs and it got so bad I decided to go to the emergency room. My mom took me there in my MIL's truck because it was blocking the other parked cars at the house.

My MIL was furious we used her truck. Why? Because there was all this latent hostility my MIL and wife had been holding against my mom for years. Everything I assumed about the relationship with my MIL was wrong and I learned a lot of things about my wife also. Things fell apart since then and it began sending my marriage downhill and I'm still barely hanging on.

Amazing how petty some people are. I hope things work out for the best.

 

[17seconds]

My mother in law has always been a pretty good one. Wife and I would joke about how we have the same personality and get along really well.

A year ago my wife and my MIL were in Hawaii visiting my wife's sister. I was home taking care of our 2 young kids and my mom happened to he visiting as well. I got really sick with the flu. Sickest I've been in my life. I lost almost 20lbs and it got so bad I decided to go to the emergency room. My mom took me there in my MIL's truck because it was blocking the other parked cars at the house.

My MIL was furious we used her truck. Why? Because there was all this latent hostility my MIL and wife had been holding against my mom for years. Everything I assumed about the relationship with my MIL was wrong and I learned a lot of things about my wife also. Things fell apart since then and it began sending my marriage downhill and I'm still barely hanging on.

That's rough, I hope it somehow works out well for you.

No doubt. Hope you're ok GB.That's pretty messed up that they fake it so much that the push over the edge was borrowing a truck for a drive to the hospital because you probably thought you were going to die while your wife was on vacation in fricken Hawaii. Wtf?

Yeah and I have no doubt there would have been no issue if I had taken the truck myself.

There's really nothing of substance my mother did either. Just some things she said years ago that were badly misinterpreted. What bothers me the most is my wife won't even talk to my mom to understand her despite my insistence on how critical it is to me and even a marriage therapist pushing her to do it. Makes you wonder how someone feels about you when their own pride/fear trumps what you need.

 

[T Bell]

I honestly can't say anybody has ever let me down. Unless you count my wife passing out before we can have sex.

I would think this would be to your advantage.

It's more interesting if they fight a bit.

 

[fruity pebbles]

My mother in law has always been a pretty good one. Wife and I would joke about how we have the same personality and get along really well.

A year ago my wife and my MIL were in Hawaii visiting my wife's sister. I was home taking care of our 2 young kids and my mom happened to he visiting as well. I got really sick with the flu. Sickest I've been in my life. I lost almost 20lbs and it got so bad I decided to go to the emergency room. My mom took me there in my MIL's truck because it was blocking the other parked cars at the house.

My MIL was furious we used her truck. Why? Because there was all this latent hostility my MIL and wife had been holding against my mom for years. Everything I assumed about the relationship with my MIL was wrong and I learned a lot of things about my wife also. Things fell apart since then and it began sending my marriage downhill and I'm still barely hanging on.

Hard to come back when you see someones true colors.

 

[AAABatteries]

My mother in law has always been a pretty good one. Wife and I would joke about how we have the same personality and get along really well.

A year ago my wife and my MIL were in Hawaii visiting my wife's sister. I was home taking care of our 2 young kids and my mom happened to he visiting as well. I got really sick with the flu. Sickest I've been in my life. I lost almost 20lbs and it got so bad I decided to go to the emergency room. My mom took me there in my MIL's truck because it was blocking the other parked cars at the house.

My MIL was furious we used her truck. Why? Because there was all this latent hostility my MIL and wife had been holding against my mom for years. Everything I assumed about the relationship with my MIL was wrong and I learned a lot of things about my wife also. Things fell apart since then and it began sending my marriage downhill and I'm still barely hanging on.

That's rough, I hope it somehow works out well for you.

No doubt. Hope you're ok GB.That's pretty messed up that they fake it so much that the push over the edge was borrowing a truck for a drive to the hospital because you probably thought you were going to die while your wife was on vacation in fricken Hawaii. Wtf?

Yeah and I have no doubt there would have been no issue if I had taken the truck myself.

There's really nothing of substance my mother did either. Just some things she said years ago that were badly misinterpreted. What bothers me the most is my wife won't even talk to my mom to understand her despite my insistence on how critical it is to me and even a marriage therapist pushing her to do it. Makes you wonder how someone feels about you when their own pride/fear trumps what you need.

Sorry about the trouble GB - without knowing details I will say that 1. Women are crazy - this kind of irrational stuff isn't surprising. 2. Our wives and their mothers have a much longer relationship than we do with them - thankfully my MIL has never done anything like this but I could see how it would be tough for my wife to disagree with my MIL in a situation like this because they are so close. 3. Women are crazy.

 

[mr roboto]

I'm going through the 'true colors' revelation regarding my MIL now. I've heard some things she's said about me that she doesn't know I know. But now she's making passive aggressive comments to my children. I'm about ready to call her on it with my wife's blessing.

 

[The Goat]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

 

[Jules Winnfield]

My sister completely screwed over my BIL about as bad as one can; can't believe my sibling was capable of what she's done. I won't go in to details now - maybe one day.

She ate food from a Gas-n-Sip?

 

[AAABatteries]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

The remainder of the story shows that they had issues already but why not discuss a date with the major players before setting a date? Either way that's messed up.

 

[AAABatteries]

My sister completely screwed over my BIL about as bad as one can; can't believe my sibling was capable of what she's done. I won't go in to details now - maybe one day.

She ate food from a Gas-n-Sip?

Deal breaker.

 

[Ghost Rider]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

The remainder of the story shows that they had issues already but why not discuss a date with the major players before setting a date? Either way that's messed up.

Eh, when it comes to booking a church/venue, a place for the reception, etc., you sometimes have to go with what you can and you can't check with every close relative to make sure that that date is okay with them, especially when it is that far away to where the likelihood of anyone having something that can't be changed is slim to none. The mom simply sounds like a terrible person here.

 

[The Goat]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

The remainder of the story shows that they had issues already but why not discuss a date with the major players before setting a date? Either way that's messed up.

Is there more to my story that I don't know about?

 

[AAABatteries]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

The remainder of the story shows that they had issues already but why not discuss a date with the major players before setting a date? Either way that's messed up.

Is there more to my story that I don't know about?

no, I was referring to the receipts and bill.

 

[AAABatteries]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

The remainder of the story shows that they had issues already but why not discuss a date with the major players before setting a date? Either way that's messed up.

Eh, when it comes to booking a church/venue, a place for the reception, etc., you sometimes have to go with what you can and you can't check with every close relative to make sure that that date is okay with them, especially when it is that far away to where the likelihood of anyone having something that can't be changed is slim to none. The mom simply sounds like a terrible person here.

She definitely sounds like a piece of work but how do you not check with your mom before picking a date? Really I don't care - I'm no longer surprised by craziness, he's probably better off without her around.

 

[tommyGunZ]

My mother in law has always been a pretty good one. Wife and I would joke about how we have the same personality and get along really well.

A year ago my wife and my MIL were in Hawaii visiting my wife's sister. I was home taking care of our 2 young kids and my mom happened to he visiting as well. I got really sick with the flu. Sickest I've been in my life. I lost almost 20lbs and it got so bad I decided to go to the emergency room. My mom took me there in my MIL's truck because it was blocking the other parked cars at the house.

My MIL was furious we used her truck. Why? Because there was all this latent hostility my MIL and wife had been holding against my mom for years. Everything I assumed about the relationship with my MIL was wrong and I learned a lot of things about my wife also. Things fell apart since then and it began sending my marriage downhill and I'm still barely hanging on.

That's rough, I hope it somehow works out well for you.

No doubt. Hope you're ok GB.That's pretty messed up that they fake it so much that the push over the edge was borrowing a truck for a drive to the hospital because you probably thought you were going to die while your wife was on vacation in fricken Hawaii. Wtf?

Yeah and I have no doubt there would have been no issue if I had taken the truck myself.

There's really nothing of substance my mother did either. Just some things she said years ago that were badly misinterpreted. What bothers me the most is my wife won't even talk to my mom to understand her despite my insistence on how critical it is to me and even a marriage therapist pushing her to do it. Makes you wonder how someone feels about you when their own pride/fear trumps what you need.

Wow - sorry to hear that 17. I hope you can find a resolution that you are at peace with.

 

[T Bell]

I'm going through the 'true colors' revelation regarding my MIL now. I've heard some things she's said about me that she doesn't know I know. But now she's making passive aggressive comments to my children. I'm about ready to call her on it with my wife's blessing.

If my MIL was doing this to me (and depending upon what was being said) I'd have no problem lighting her up with or without my wife's consent. I might even do it in front of the grandkids if what she was saying was bad enough.

 

[T Bell]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

Wow. I gather that she went on the cruise instead of to the wedding?

 

[T Bell]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

The remainder of the story shows that they had issues already but why not discuss a date with the major players before setting a date? Either way that's messed up.

Eh, when it comes to booking a church/venue, a place for the reception, etc., you sometimes have to go with what you can and you can't check with every close relative to make sure that that date is okay with them, especially when it is that far away to where the likelihood of anyone having something that can't be changed is slim to none. The mom simply sounds like a terrible person here.

She definitely sounds like a piece of work but how do you not check with your mom before picking a date? Really I don't care - I'm no longer surprised by craziness, he's probably better off without her around.

What mom has something set 8 months out that can't be moved for her own son's wedding? Even a surgery that far out (and surgeries are never set that far out) could get moved.

I didn't check with anyone when I got married and that was set about 4-5 months out.

What a C-U-Next-Tuesday.

 

[AAABatteries]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

The remainder of the story shows that they had issues already but why not discuss a date with the major players before setting a date? Either way that's messed up.

Eh, when it comes to booking a church/venue, a place for the reception, etc., you sometimes have to go with what you can and you can't check with every close relative to make sure that that date is okay with them, especially when it is that far away to where the likelihood of anyone having something that can't be changed is slim to none. The mom simply sounds like a terrible person here.

She definitely sounds like a piece of work but how do you not check with your mom before picking a date? Really I don't care - I'm no longer surprised by craziness, he's probably better off without her around.

What mom has something set 8 months out that can't be moved for her own son's wedding? Even a surgery that far out (and surgeries are never set that far out) could get moved.

I didn't check with anyone when I got married and that was set about 4-5 months out.

What a C-U-Next-Tuesday.

I agree she should move it or not go but I don't think it's unreasonable to discuss the date you are looking at before setting it. Again, she sounds insane so it probably worked out well for him.

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

It was the son's second marriage so not sure the Mom should be catching so much crap. My guess is she went to the first one.

 

[Das Boot]

I'm going through the 'true colors' revelation regarding my MIL now. I've heard some things she's said about me that she doesn't know I know. But now she's making passive aggressive comments to my children. I'm about ready to call her on it with my wife's blessing.

If my MIL was doing this to me (and depending upon what was being said) I'd have no problem lighting her up with or without my wife's consent. I might even do it in front of the grandkids if what she was saying was bad enough.

I don't see any upside to ever having a huge argument like that in front of the grandkids.

I'd always try a 1 on 1 talk first... even having the wife present would potentially cause the MIL to feel like she had to defend her authority position or somehow react differently that she would if it was just 1 on 1.

People never like being embarrassed, especially when they know they are in the wrong; and if it's in front of other people, they'll dig trenches that they'll never retreat from no matter how clear it is that they should do so.

 

[Mario Kart]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

Birthday/Christmas cards since?

Other family updating each other?

Will he go to the funeral? What if she has health issues?

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

The remainder of the story shows that they had issues already but why not discuss a date with the major players before setting a date? Either way that's messed up.

Eh, when it comes to booking a church/venue, a place for the reception, etc., you sometimes have to go with what you can and you can't check with every close relative to make sure that that date is okay with them, especially when it is that far away to where the likelihood of anyone having something that can't be changed is slim to none. The mom simply sounds like a terrible person here.

She definitely sounds like a piece of work but how do you not check with your mom before picking a date? Really I don't care - I'm no longer surprised by craziness, he's probably better off without her around.

What mom has something set 8 months out that can't be moved for her own son's wedding? Even a surgery that far out (and surgeries are never set that far out) could get moved.

I didn't check with anyone when I got married and that was set about 4-5 months out.

What a C-U-Next-Tuesday.

I agree she should move it or not go but I don't think it's unreasonable to discuss the date you are looking at before setting it. Again, she sounds insane so it probably worked out well for him.

Never booked a wedding, have you? The church had one date, and that was it. I took it without asking anyone. Of course, our families aren't weeners like some of these awful people.

 

[Joe Summer]

I'm talking where a brother or sister, best friend, wife/husband or perhaps your dad REALLY let you down. It was intentional and showed their true character. The kind you never forget.

For me a few come to mind. Here's one.

Three years ago we had a tough growing season for our produce farm and stress was high with weeds, drought and low production. We rely on this income to supplement my regular job. You're always watching in autumn for frost which will ruin unprotected plants and fruit and end the season. Well, hard frost was coming in the next day or two and we were frantically picking everything in the fields. I took a couple days off work.

I called my second oldest brother, who was sitting at home on unemployment, to see if he could help as we were in dire straits. He lived an hour or so away at the time. He said he couldn't help because he didn't really want to spend the money on gas.

It was more about my brother being there for me when I needed the support than how much work he would've gotten done. Lost a lot of respect for him. Meanwhile, my FIL who was about 65 and my wife's aunt who is about 60, spent all day picking without complaint. Family helping family.

Did you offer to pay your brother for his time, or at least offer to pay for his gas?

 

[AAABatteries]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

The remainder of the story shows that they had issues already but why not discuss a date with the major players before setting a date? Either way that's messed up.

Eh, when it comes to booking a church/venue, a place for the reception, etc., you sometimes have to go with what you can and you can't check with every close relative to make sure that that date is okay with them, especially when it is that far away to where the likelihood of anyone having something that can't be changed is slim to none. The mom simply sounds like a terrible person here.

She definitely sounds like a piece of work but how do you not check with your mom before picking a date? Really I don't care - I'm no longer surprised by craziness, he's probably better off without her around.

What mom has something set 8 months out that can't be moved for her own son's wedding? Even a surgery that far out (and surgeries are never set that far out) could get moved.

I didn't check with anyone when I got married and that was set about 4-5 months out.

What a C-U-Next-Tuesday.

I agree she should move it or not go but I don't think it's unreasonable to discuss the date you are looking at before setting it. Again, she sounds insane so it probably worked out well for him.

Never booked a wedding, have you? The church had one date, and that was it. I took it without asking anyone. Of course, our families aren't weeners like some of these awful people.

Ive also booked a wedding and they had several open dates - whose anecdotal evidence should we pick?

 

[T Bell]

I'm talking where a brother or sister, best friend, wife/husband or perhaps your dad REALLY let you down. It was intentional and showed their true character. The kind you never forget.

For me a few come to mind. Here's one.

Three years ago we had a tough growing season for our produce farm and stress was high with weeds, drought and low production. We rely on this income to supplement my regular job. You're always watching in autumn for frost which will ruin unprotected plants and fruit and end the season. Well, hard frost was coming in the next day or two and we were frantically picking everything in the fields. I took a couple days off work.

I called my second oldest brother, who was sitting at home on unemployment, to see if he could help as we were in dire straits. He lived an hour or so away at the time. He said he couldn't help because he didn't really want to spend the money on gas.

It was more about my brother being there for me when I needed the support than how much work he would've gotten done. Lost a lot of respect for him. Meanwhile, my FIL who was about 65 and my wife's aunt who is about 60, spent all day picking without complaint. Family helping family.

Did you offer to pay your brother for his time, or at least offer to pay for his gas?

Spoiler

He lived an hour away. It wasn't about the gas.

 

[msudaisy26]

I have watched this happen to my husband a quite a few times by his sister. The sad part is he lets it hit him like a ton of bricks every time.

First time his sister's washing machine broke, we had an extra washer and dryer in our house and told her she could have the washer if she or her husband would help him move it into the her house. Not only did they pick they day to have him bring to the house but when he got there they weren't home. So he brought it back home and it was starting to rain and I had left so he tried to get the washer back into the house by himself and sprained his ankle and missed a week of work. To top it off his sister called and asked him to bring the washer over the next day.

Another time was when his sister was in college and her boyfriend at the time bought her a dog. Well she kept it for about a year and then developed an allergy to it and was going to have to give the dog away. Well my husband and I had a 8 month old dog and we were thinking about getting another one so we told her we would take the dog so she could still see it when she visited but that once we took the dog it was our dog. She agreed. Well a couple years later the dog had puppies and since both dogs were AKC registered we knew we could make a decent chunk of change selling the puppies. She demanded half the money, when he told her no she actually filed a small claims lawsuit against him, when the judge denied that my husband offered to pay her to go over and let the mother dog outside to go to the bathroom since we both worked and were advised to keep the male dog separate from the female and puppies. We gave her 300 dollars up front and she showed up 1 time in 8 weeks, she lived about 4 miles away and was unemployed at the time.

I could go on and on but I won't.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

My mother in law has always been a pretty good one. Wife and I would joke about how we have the same personality and get along really well.

A year ago my wife and my MIL were in Hawaii visiting my wife's sister. I was home taking care of our 2 young kids and my mom happened to he visiting as well. I got really sick with the flu. Sickest I've been in my life. I lost almost 20lbs and it got so bad I decided to go to the emergency room. My mom took me there in my MIL's truck because it was blocking the other parked cars at the house.

My MIL was furious we used her truck. Why? Because there was all this latent hostility my MIL and wife had been holding against my mom for years. Everything I assumed about the relationship with my MIL was wrong and I learned a lot of things about my wife also. Things fell apart since then and it began sending my marriage downhill and I'm still barely hanging on.

Sorry to hear, though this begs for more of what is going on behind. And #### your ##### wife if she sided with your mother - dump her.

 

[gianmarco]

I've been very fortunate with family and friends, but a very close friend of mine had the following occur:

He was getting married for the second time (first one was a horrific mistake that ended in less than a year.) Upon informing his mother of the date, eight months in advance, she informed him that he had to change the date of the wedding, because she had already planned a cruise. Not "I can't make it because of the cruise," which would have been bad enough, but, "you can't get married then, because it's bad timing for me."

He offered to pay the money that she would lose for canceling the cruise. No dice. She stuck to her guns, and became incensed that he would not change the date of his wedding for her. About a week later, he received a bill from her, for everything she'd spent on him from the day he turned 18, to the time he moved out, about three years later. This was not a made-up bill; she actually kept receipts for everything. She had it down to the penny; it was about $8,000 if memory serves.

He was crushed over it. He ended up paying the bill. That was over a decade ago, and he has not spoken to her since then.

The remainder of the story shows that they had issues already but why not discuss a date with the major players before setting a date? Either way that's messed up.

Is there more to my story that I don't know about?