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***Official*** FFA iDating Thread


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Crazy development: so I was casually checking out eharmony at some of my recent communication request and am looking at the photos of this one girl who requested we communicate. I nearly spit out my drink when from the second picture on she is a body double for the ex. I mean, even the smile is identical. same skin, hair, body type, it's uncanny. Needless to say I'm flying through this particular intro process.

this could be either really really awesome or a complete and utter trainwreck.

On a sad note, haven't heard from this chick in about 24 hrs and the site tells me she's been online today :sadbanana:
Got to bang or at least go pretty far on the first date or she'll think you are either not that interested in her or aren't very masculine. You can think by not trying anything you are being a gent but she'll think you aren't that into her or you would have.
I think you quoted the wrong post, but I did give it a run the first time.
This was before I saw you went out with her a second time or that it seems like you want to find a serious chick to get married.
Ohhh gotcha. Yeah I think the reason I didn't try much and gave in to her minimal resistance is I'm just not that physically attracted to her. For example, I've yet to picture her naked.
Pretty much redheaded chicks fall into one of two categories: 1. Hot or 2. Not attractive....you rarely ever see one who is average looking. I am assuming she isn't attractive. Why did you go out with her on a second date? Don't waste your time on someone if you are looking to get a wife.
She is 4'11" porportionate little body, cute enough. I'd say she be a 6-7 on the offdee scale. My type as I'm learning, however, is the big boobs, not overweight thicker-bodied girl (not fat obviously, but not super thin). She doesn't fit it and probably why I'm not trying too hard to get in her pants. I wasn't wasting my time at all though as she is cool and still attractive enough to be worth giving a chance. My stance could change quickly if it turns out she is great in bed.
Odds are extremely against you once you marry a girl with a body type like this turns into FAT.
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I carpet bombed about 40 matches on Tinder yesterday with "Happy Mother's Day" Either they were going to say thanks or "I'm not a mother." My reply was "Sorry, I guess I must be 9 months ear

I ran into her a few months later at a bar and said hello.  After the usual chit chat, I asked if she'd get me a beer.  She didn't think it was very funny.  

Rirruto is a big fat liar I've said it around here before, but I generally stay away from smashing on the first meet. It's poor form for somebody my age, and it usually keeps girls from meeting u

i put both divorced and kids in as a deal-breaker.

You're missing out on a large gold-mine of short term fun here GB.
:goodposting:

I never understood this way of thinking unless you are dead set on meeting someone to get married.

Because who wants to deal with any of that drama?
If you think women who have never been married/have kids don't have drama then you clearly don't date. In fact, many of those types of chicks have MORE drama in that they are desperate to get married/have kids because in their mind, time is quickly running out.
I know that all women have drama. If he's just looking to have fun then why would he want to deal with an ex-husband or an ex-husband and kids? How in the world is that any LESS drama? If anything those girls are MORE desperate because now they feel like they are damaged goods...
Most ex husbands are long gone from her and her kids lives. Sad but true. And the good moms aren't going to trot her kid around you. Also as I've just posted divorce with kids you know real quick if they are into having casual fun or looking to get married again.

Another bonus is that she has a life and can't just come over whenever since she has a job and kid to take care of. This frees you up to date others easily.

Single, never been married nor have kids pretty much guarantees you that they are looking to move FAST. Don't kid yourself when girls like this say they aren't looking to get serious or looking to speed things up. They are dating because they want to get married and have kids. Most men are dating to get laid.

If you want to lower your chances of drama and the insane level you should date chicks in their mid 20's or younger or a woman who already has kids and has made it clear they don't want to get married again or date chicks who already have kids and too old to think about going through it again. The last recommendation is tougher to find.

I just don't like the practical hurdles of dating a girl with kids. I want to be able to do a weekend getaway the last minute, spend random nights at each other's house, etc. I don't think you can do that with a good mom.

I don't really think single moms or divorced chicks are higher drama, just bring added hurdles I don't think I need to deal with.

I was going on the assumption that you have a job that can take up time, have friends and want to do stuff on your own or with your buddies but if you basically don't have then then yes this is not the type of woman you probably want to date. I like my freedom and free time as well as have kids so this type generally understands that or I have to make it clear to women who are much younger w/o kids and doesn't understand.
I do have all that, which is why these chicks are tough. Just no flexibility. I tried to date one briefly in my old town, but she was so restricted with her time we could never figure out a good point to get together with all the crap I was doing.

Single chicks, never married, no kids usually will demand MOST of your time. Their clock is ticking and they know they aren't getting any younger which ultimately puts more stress / drama on you, if you allow it. You have to train a girl like this right off the bat, in a nice way, talk about how "me" time is important to you and stick to your guns. Don't become one of those guys who lets his girl remove his manhood and he's no longer a man.

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Generally the chicks I've met online or off with the least amount of issues/drama are:

1. Chicks 25 and under - most are still in the "I want to build my career" bs stage and while starting to think about getting married and have kids that's a long way off and most think they have many years and it can wait. Plus most of their friends aren't married or have kids so no pressure and the few that do are not happy.

2. Chicks who have been married and already have kids and it's clear they do not want to get married again. You'll know quickly if they fall into this type because chicks who are divorced with kids either want to get married and have more kids or they do not. They don't beat around the bush on that.

Worst drama/issues:

1. Never had kids and 27+ yrs old - could have been married or not it doesn't matter, they want kids..yesterday! If their sisters/brothers/friends are getting or just got married this ups the ante. Also many of their mother's are wondering why they aren't married and not a grandmother yet.

2. The more educated, the more insane. They have full control over their lives up to this point. Excelled all their life in school, have multiple or advanced degrees, great place to live, great job but can't land a great guy. This drives them insane because they think just because you are smart in school and have a great job, landing a great guy is no different. Out of all the girls I've ever dated the most insane chicks were a dentist, lawyer and doctor, all were smart and all were hot but all were way and beyond the normal insane stuff you see in women.

3. Divorced women with kids who had a bad marriage. Surprisingly many want to get married again to prove that they had nothing to do with their prior marriage failing and/or they realize now being single that money doesn't grow on trees and they need a man to support them.

So, what's it like dating my ex-wife?
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:lmao:

i put both divorced and kids in as a deal-breaker.

You're missing out on a large gold-mine of short term fun here GB.
:goodposting:

I never understood this way of thinking unless you are dead set on meeting someone to get married.

Because who wants to deal with any of that drama?
If you think women who have never been married/have kids don't have drama then you clearly don't date. In fact, many of those types of chicks have MORE drama in that they are desperate to get married/have kids because in their mind, time is quickly running out.
I know that all women have drama. If he's just looking to have fun then why would he want to deal with an ex-husband or an ex-husband and kids? How in the world is that any LESS drama? If anything those girls are MORE desperate because now they feel like they are damaged goods...
Most ex husbands are long gone from her and her kids lives. Sad but true. And the good moms aren't going to trot her kid around you. Also as I've just posted divorce with kids you know real quick if they are into having casual fun or looking to get married again.

Another bonus is that she has a life and can't just come over whenever since she has a job and kid to take care of. This frees you up to date others easily.

Single, never been married nor have kids pretty much guarantees you that they are looking to move FAST. Don't kid yourself when girls like this say they aren't looking to get serious or looking to speed things up. They are dating because they want to get married and have kids. Most men are dating to get laid.

If you want to lower your chances of drama and the insane level you should date chicks in their mid 20's or younger or a woman who already has kids and has made it clear they don't want to get married again or date chicks who already have kids and too old to think about going through it again. The last recommendation is tougher to find.

Can't remember if it was Woz, or Stryker but one of the funniest posts in this entire thread is when the lady brought her kids on the first date with her. Just picturing that :tfp: always makes me :lmao: (although the Capella date where the gal talked about how she had sex with two "brothers" is still the best

I was on vacation all week but am finally in the final stages of communication with two others so should have something lined up with both of them soon. One gal is 30 and divorced with two kids. She is cute though. She kept sending me ice breakers, questions, and then whenever I'd respond she'd send another communication back right away. That date should be interesting as she is clearly trying real hard to meet me. If she is a complete mess so be it, I can just get out of there. If not, then maybe I get some fun out of it.

I am not talking to the gal that went directly to e-mails with me. As others have said here, it's pointless to send emails back and forth. So after I sent her a brief email in response to her original email she kept wanting to talk via email. I sent her a reply back saying we should get together, we can talk more that way, etc. and she never replied. Pretty much scared her off by offering to meet but I wasn't in the mood to be having a conversation by email when it's much easier to talk about stuff in person. Waste of time IMO.

Go get 'em Woz!

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Had date with third chick last night. Super smart, educated, and funny. Talked and had a good time for a few hours. Tried to get in to her physically, but kinda like the others it just wasn't there. I'm not so sure what's going on in that department. Nonethless, she wants to go out again so that's 3-3 on that front. I'm a little upset because I turned down another chick for this weekend because RacistEX was supposed to come for the weekend but she flaked due to apparently overhearing at some bar some stories of my departure. This is now the longest I haven't had sex in years.

However, just moments ago I set up my first POF date and am meeting her in a couple hours. 35 and had some slightly revealing pics in her profile. Think I'll be taking a cab to this one.

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Had date with third chick last night. Super smart, educated, and funny. Talked and had a good time for a few hours. Tried to get in to her physically, but kinda like the others it just wasn't there. I'm not so sure what's going on in that department. Nonethless, she wants to go out again so that's 3-3 on that front. I'm a little upset because I turned down another chick for this weekend because RacistEX was supposed to come for the weekend but she flaked due to apparently overhearing at some bar some stories of my departure. This is now the longest I haven't had sex in years. However, just moments ago I set up my first POF date and am meeting her in a couple hours. 35 and had some slightly revealing pics in her profile. Think I'll be taking a cab to this one.

wait, so you've moved to within miles of ASU and you're already dipping into the mid-30's dating pool?Not judging, but it seems odd, considering your situation and previously stated motives for your move (using your young lawyer status to attract hot young things instead of settling for the best of the litter in a small backwoods town)
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Had date with third chick last night. Super smart, educated, and funny. Talked and had a good time for a few hours. Tried to get in to her physically, but kinda like the others it just wasn't there. I'm not so sure what's going on in that department. Nonethless, she wants to go out again so that's 3-3 on that front. I'm a little upset because I turned down another chick for this weekend because RacistEX was supposed to come for the weekend but she flaked due to apparently overhearing at some bar some stories of my departure. This is now the longest I haven't had sex in years. However, just moments ago I set up my first POF date and am meeting her in a couple hours. 35 and had some slightly revealing pics in her profile. Think I'll be taking a cab to this one.

Stop worrying about your new v-card you received by moving to a "big city" and bang these #####es already. Half the dudes here would give up a nut to bang a sub five footer with a strawberry patch.
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Had date with third chick last night. Super smart, educated, and funny. Talked and had a good time for a few hours. Tried to get in to her physically, but kinda like the others it just wasn't there. I'm not so sure what's going on in that department. Nonethless, she wants to go out again so that's 3-3 on that front. I'm a little upset because I turned down another chick for this weekend because RacistEX was supposed to come for the weekend but she flaked due to apparently overhearing at some bar some stories of my departure. This is now the longest I haven't had sex in years. However, just moments ago I set up my first POF date and am meeting her in a couple hours. 35 and had some slightly revealing pics in her profile. Think I'll be taking a cab to this one.

wait, so you've moved to within miles of ASU and you're already dipping into the mid-30's dating pool?Not judging, but it seems odd, considering your situation and previously stated motives for your move (using your young lawyer status to attract hot young things instead of settling for the best of the litter in a small backwoods town)
Well, met up with this mid-30s chick and her body was hotter than 99 percent of the younger chicks i've seen. Totally awesome girl who has a football setup in her back yard with a pool, brick BBQ, flat screen, and couches. Date couldn't have gone much better and we made plans to hang out tomorrow. I kinda messed up because I went to hug her bye and she went in for the kiss but I realized it too late. Gonna let her think about that though and be all over her on Sunday. Think the drought is coming to an end then. although i'm now inspired to invite the redhead over and end the drought today.
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I don't understand the "good date with no kiss" or the "not into her physically but seeing her again anyway" shtick. :confused:

It's not shtick. And i don't really get it either. Thinking I'm in some sort of a funk after messing up and being tossed in the friend's zone with that "future mrs. woz" chick. Also had planned for RacistEx to come down and see me this weekend, which isn't happening because she got ripped on in public for something about us, and I think that had distracted me. Hadn't been shot down for teh secks in a couple years and now it's happened twice in a week. Also, these were simply just really cool girls but didn't exactly do it for me physically - I don't think that's crazy. The positive is I have second dates to make up for it, and I've done so already with one of them. Plan to make up for it with the 35 year old tomorrow. Edited by Zow
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Well, this mornings somewhat downer post inspired me. Two dates set up for tomorrow, and another on Monday. Let's get physical

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I don't understand the "good date with no kiss" or the "not into her physically but seeing her again anyway" shtick. :confused:

It's not shtick. And i don't really get it either. Thinking I'm in some sort of a funk after messing up and being tossed in the friend's zone with that "future mrs. woz" chick. Also had planned for RacistEx to come down and see me this weekend, which isn't happening because she got ripped on in public for something about us, and I think that had distracted me. Hadn't been shot down for teh secks in a couple years and now it's happened twice in a week. Also, these were simply just really cool girls but didn't exactly do it for me physically - I don't think that's crazy. The positive is I have second dates to make up for it, and I've done so already with one of them. Plan to make up for it with the 35 year old tomorrow.
It's not a funk, you're just gay. I can't imagine a straight guy typing the above.Good luck.
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I've got a live one here. B&M...I have her circling my concert tickets bait. How do I set the hook on this one!?!?

Take her to the concert?
Is it bad that I don't know anything about the guy performing and only got these tickets to give me a reason to invite her out?I actually looked up his music. Not bad. Ended up buying 5 songs from iTunes. Edited by JbizzleMan
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I've got a live one here. B&M...I have her circling my concert tickets bait. How do I set the hook on this one!?!?

Take her to the concert?
Is it bad that I don't know anything about the guy performing and only got these tickets to give me a reason to invite her out?I actually looked up his music. Not bad. Ended up buying 5 songs from iTunes.
Meh, that's fine. I wouldn't lead with that with her, but that could actually be a great line for later/ 2nd date if you feel it is going well.
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I don't understand the "good date with no kiss" or the "not into her physically but seeing her again anyway" shtick. :confused:

It's not shtick. And i don't really get it either. Thinking I'm in some sort of a funk after messing up and being tossed in the friend's zone with that "future mrs. woz" chick. Also had planned for RacistEx to come down and see me this weekend, which isn't happening because she got ripped on in public for something about us, and I think that had distracted me. Hadn't been shot down for teh secks in a couple years and now it's happened twice in a week. Also, these were simply just really cool girls but didn't exactly do it for me physically - I don't think that's crazy. The positive is I have second dates to make up for it, and I've done so already with one of them. Plan to make up for it with the 35 year old tomorrow.
It's not a funk, you're just gay. I can't imagine a straight guy typing the above.Good luck.
1-1 on not being gay today. Leaving in 15 to go 2-2. :pickle:
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Update: temporary gayness gone. 2-2 after the second date with the 35 year old. No shtick, best body I've ever been with probably. Freaking awesome chick too. We hung out at a bowling alley/pool hall and were betting on games. I won many good things. She rules.

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Anyone know if bars/clubs that put on beginner salsa dance lessons are good places to pick up chicks? My friend and his girlfriend said there were alot of cute girls when they went. Supposedly all looking for dance partners. I know I'm going to be terrible if I do go....is this a waste?

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What the heck does this mean when someone lists this as a must have on eharmony?

Passionate...

I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding.

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What the heck does this mean when someone lists this as a must have on eharmony?Passionate... I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding.

I'm guessing transvestite or a swinger?
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What the heck does this mean when someone lists this as a must have on eharmony?Passionate... I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding.

hahah whenever i see that i know that we will be :excited: sooner than later!
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:coffee:

Update: just got back from my 6th date from idating. Have had 4 second dates as well and two third dates. I swear these girls keep getting more impressive. Chick tonight was a super cute little blonde with ridiculously tight body, my age, who owns her own business, own house, and loves craft beers. Two hours basically flew by. In all honesty these higher quality girls are throwing me off my game after spending three years with super easy chicks. I'm learning quickly that the accepted progression is a hug at the end of the first date, make out on date two, and maybe, just maybe, significant action on date three. It has me thinking I'm doing something wrong but all the good signs seem to be there and there has always been a next date lined up by the end of the night. It's cost me though because I lost contact with the one girl who told me after the second date she felt I pressured her too much physically - and thinking back she is right. Just got so used to easily available action where I was at I think it has messed with my expectation. That said, my next 8 nights are already booked up. I'm starting to get a little anxious, but it's hard to complain about hanging out with awesome girls at good restaurants. :thumbup:
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Had a pretty good run over the last few months. Finally settled on one. My one and only Match hookup, for what it's worth. She's a keeper.

Nice.

How quickly does she close the five hole, though?

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By the way, how long is it taking you guys to hook up with these chicks?

Anywhere from 20 minutes to 6 dates. Second date is the most common though."date" is being used very loosely in most cases.
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By the way, how long is it taking you guys to hook up with these chicks?

Anywhere from 20 minutes to 6 dates. Second date is the most common though."date" is being used very loosely in most cases.
Yeah that was my past experience too. I'm trying to figure out why I keep having a common, slow progression and thinking it's maybe a combo of going after "good" girls, livin very close to them, always meeting in public, etc. Then again the best common factor there is me. If they weren't so eager in going out again I'd say my game was off, but that's not the case here. I'm open to a reationship but was kinda hoping for some decent sex along the way.
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By the way, how long is it taking you guys to hook up with these chicks?

Anywhere from 20 minutes to 6 dates. Second date is the most common though."date" is being used very loosely in most cases.
Yeah that was my past experience too. I'm trying to figure out why I keep having a common, slow progression and thinking it's maybe a combo of going after "good" girls, livin very close to them, always meeting in public, etc. Then again the best common factor there is me. If they weren't so eager in going out again I'd say my game was off, but that's not the case here. I'm open to a reationship but was kinda hoping for some decent sex along the way.
If they're chicks you found on eharmony, and aren't in their early 20's, they tend to put off sex a bit more than usual. They tend to play the 3 date minimum game and they are looking for relationships. If they feel you're not relationship material they're not going to put out for you. Granted there are some exceptions (as with everything), but generally that's how went down with eharmony.
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My experiene on eharmony so far is that the women I am communicating with want to talk a ton via email before meeting up. I am talking to one gal so far and it's been 6 total emails back and forth this week. I hate doing that but she is a real cool gal. I finally pushed for a meeting today. I mean we can talk about a lot of stuff on our date but, at the same time, I don't want to push her past her comfort zone and she stops communicating before she's comfortable meeting up. We'll see what happens. Would like to go out with her next weekend.

Another, I pushed for a meeting after two emails - as others on this page have suggested - and she flaked out and closed me. I get the sense the eharmony girls are more cautious with things than the other sites although each girl is obviously different. That's why I've been a bit gun shy pushing for meetings on eharmony. You take a bunch of time to get to email communication so, at that point, I don't want to screw up trying to meet up with them.

I'm thinking of sending questions to a gal who is real cute and her profile is real good. She only gave a headshot though with a promise of "more pics to come". It's been a week and no more pics. I've heard a bunch of bad stories here about not trying to meet up with women that only give headshots as they are typically larger women but her profile says she is 5'10" so she can't be too fat at that height, can she?

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My experiene on eharmony so far is that the women I am communicating with want to talk a ton via email before meeting up. I am talking to one gal so far and it's been 6 total emails back and forth this week. I hate doing that but she is a real cool gal. I finally pushed for a meeting today. I mean we can talk about a lot of stuff on our date but, at the same time, I don't want to push her past her comfort zone and she stops communicating before she's comfortable meeting up. We'll see what happens. Would like to go out with her next weekend.

Another, I pushed for a meeting after two emails - as others on this page have suggested - and she flaked out and closed me. I get the sense the eharmony girls are more cautious with things than the other sites although each girl is obviously different. That's why I've been a bit gun shy pushing for meetings on eharmony. You take a bunch of time to get to email communication so, at that point, I don't want to screw up trying to meet up with them.

I'm thinking of sending questions to a gal who is real cute and her profile is real good. She only gave a headshot though with a promise of "more pics to come". It's been a week and no more pics. I've heard a bunch of bad stories here about not trying to meet up with women that only give headshots as they are typically larger women but her profile says she is 5'10" so she can't be too fat at that height, can she?

Yes she can.

If they don't want to get together for a 1/2 hour coffee, drink, whatever after a couple of emails and/or phone conversations they're probably trying avoid to having you see what they actually look like and they're definitely wasting your time. Forget them and move on.

Edited by Gr00vus
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My experiene on eharmony so far is that the women I am communicating with want to talk a ton via email before meeting up. I am talking to one gal so far and it's been 6 total emails back and forth this week. I hate doing that but she is a real cool gal. I finally pushed for a meeting today. I mean we can talk about a lot of stuff on our date but, at the same time, I don't want to push her past her comfort zone and she stops communicating before she's comfortable meeting up. We'll see what happens. Would like to go out with her next weekend.

Another, I pushed for a meeting after two emails - as others on this page have suggested - and she flaked out and closed me. I get the sense the eharmony girls are more cautious with things than the other sites although each girl is obviously different. That's why I've been a bit gun shy pushing for meetings on eharmony. You take a bunch of time to get to email communication so, at that point, I don't want to screw up trying to meet up with them.

I'm thinking of sending questions to a gal who is real cute and her profile is real good. She only gave a headshot though with a promise of "more pics to come". It's been a week and no more pics. I've heard a bunch of bad stories here about not trying to meet up with women that only give headshots as they are typically larger women but her profile says she is 5'10" so she can't be too fat at that height, can she?

Yes she can.

If they don't want to get together for a 1/2 hour coffee, drink, whatever after a couple of emails and/or phone conversations they're probably trying avoid to having you see what they actually look like and they're definitely wasting your time. Forget them and move on.

Agreed. Ive bitten on the headshot deal a number of times. Usually you get burned. :unsure:
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My experiene on eharmony so far is that the women I am communicating with want to talk a ton via email before meeting up. I am talking to one gal so far and it's been 6 total emails back and forth this week. I hate doing that but she is a real cool gal. I finally pushed for a meeting today. I mean we can talk about a lot of stuff on our date but, at the same time, I don't want to push her past her comfort zone and she stops communicating before she's comfortable meeting up. We'll see what happens. Would like to go out with her next weekend.

Another, I pushed for a meeting after two emails - as others on this page have suggested - and she flaked out and closed me. I get the sense the eharmony girls are more cautious with things than the other sites although each girl is obviously different. That's why I've been a bit gun shy pushing for meetings on eharmony. You take a bunch of time to get to email communication so, at that point, I don't want to screw up trying to meet up with them.

I'm thinking of sending questions to a gal who is real cute and her profile is real good. She only gave a headshot though with a promise of "more pics to come". It's been a week and no more pics. I've heard a bunch of bad stories here about not trying to meet up with women that only give headshots as they are typically larger women but her profile says she is 5'10" so she can't be too fat at that height, can she?

Yes she can.

If they don't want to get together for a 1/2 hour coffee, drink, whatever after a couple of emails and/or phone conversations they're probably trying avoid to having you see what they actually look like and they're definitely wasting your time. Forget them and move on.

Agreed. So far I've ha great success by moving towards the meeting by the second e-mail. IMO at that point if the girl is interested she's already made up her mind to say yes. Just suggest some days and provide your number and so far I've never had a girl say no or not call.

ETA: If there's no full body shot they will be fat. Not saying don't go for them, but to expect it. Remember people are going to use their very best pictures so I always assume the person will look at best as good as they do in their pictures.

Edited by Zow
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ETA: If there's no full body shot they will be fat. Not saying don't go for them, but to expect it. Remember people are going to use their very best pictures so I always assume the person will look at best as good as they do in their pictures.

This == true.
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ETA: If there's no full body shot they will be fat. Not saying don't go for them, but to expect it. Remember people are going to use their very best pictures so I always assume the person will look at best as good as they do in their pictures.

This == true.
actually i have come across a few situations where the girl looks better than the picture. but they were few and far between. Typically though, you are correct.
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My experiene on eharmony so far is that the women I am communicating with want to talk a ton via email before meeting up. I am talking to one gal so far and it's been 6 total emails back and forth this week. I hate doing that but she is a real cool gal. I finally pushed for a meeting today. I mean we can talk about a lot of stuff on our date but, at the same time, I don't want to push her past her comfort zone and she stops communicating before she's comfortable meeting up. We'll see what happens. Would like to go out with her next weekend.

Another, I pushed for a meeting after two emails - as others on this page have suggested - and she flaked out and closed me. I get the sense the eharmony girls are more cautious with things than the other sites although each girl is obviously different. That's why I've been a bit gun shy pushing for meetings on eharmony. You take a bunch of time to get to email communication so, at that point, I don't want to screw up trying to meet up with them.

I'm thinking of sending questions to a gal who is real cute and her profile is real good. She only gave a headshot though with a promise of "more pics to come". It's been a week and no more pics. I've heard a bunch of bad stories here about not trying to meet up with women that only give headshots as they are typically larger women but her profile says she is 5'10" so she can't be too fat at that height, can she?

Yes she can.

If they don't want to get together for a 1/2 hour coffee, drink, whatever after a couple of emails and/or phone conversations they're probably trying avoid to having you see what they actually look like and they're definitely wasting your time. Forget them and move on.

Agreed. So far I've ha great success by moving towards the meeting by the second e-mail. IMO at that point if the girl is interested she's already made up her mind to say yes. Just suggest some days and provide your number and so far I've never had a girl say no or not call.

ETA: If there's no full body shot they will be fat. Not saying don't go for them, but to expect it. Remember people are going to use their very best pictures so I always assume the person will look at best as good as they do in their pictures.

After a certain point if they don't have more than a head shot then I'll send them a few more pics of myself and say something like "looking forward to getting some more pics of you so I don't have to keep logging onto that site!" If they don't send back more than a headshot I'll saying something like "cute smile, where's the rest of you?" In most cases they'll send pics that show more of their face but a few will real defensive and you'll know by their tone they are huge and you are only interested in how a woman looks. Move on.
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ETA: If there's no full body shot they will be fat. Not saying don't go for them, but to expect it. Remember people are going to use their very best pictures so I always assume the person will look at best as good as they do in their pictures.

This == true.
actually i have come across a few situations where the girl looks better than the picture. but they were few and far between. Typically though, you are correct.
Funny but that's happened to me a few times as of late. I was really surprised with a few of them how much better they looked in person.
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Since my divorce 2.5 years ago, I've been honing my skills on these websites and done very well, and also been very disappointed - I've documented many of my encounters elsewhere under my former alias for those interested.

This thread is long and I haven't followed along until recently however just wanted to post some of my experiences with match and eharmony since my divorce to anyone who may find it useful. There's a lot of guys here, who know more than me - but I would put the count of women I've gone out with at around 50 in 2.5 years and the women I've "closed the deal" with at around 30% of that which is a decent success rate considering many of those un-pursued flings were of my choice...as a matter of fact, I've actually only gone out with 2 people I met at a bar without the assistance of an online site - so this can be exploited.

Let's begin:

Setting Up Your Profile:

A lot of this depends on what you are looking for. Are you just looking for some strange? Or are you seriously looking for the mother of your children? I'm not looking for the mother of my children so I can't speak to that unfortunately.

~ Photos: You've got to have a lot of them and you need more than just head shots. Make them recent and make them photos in which you are clearly having a good time. The photo taken BY you OF you is a tool move, especially if you're sitting in your car. I don't know why dudes do this. This is a chick thing to do. Get a photo of you standing with 4 of your buddies out at a bar, on a golf course, with a drink in your hand and smiling from ear to ear like you are having the best ####### time of your life. This tells the woman you are a fun guy and projects that you are young and vibrant and can probably last a long time in the sack. Again, no SELF photos - this tells the woman you are vain - ladies like a confident guy, not a stuck up guy.

If you are looking for strange, no photos with you and a dog under 20 pounds please (sorry Woz). You're only going to attract animal lovers who are too picky to find a guy and that's why they're using an online dating site to begin with. Lose the dog photos. These types of photos are cringe worthy for both guys and girls looking to get laid and project the opposite of sex appeal. If you must have a prop with you in the photo, have someone take an action shot of you shooting a basketball, or with an oversized mug of beer in your hand from Dave and Busters. Now you're fun and athletic. Only girls looking for their future husband want a sensitive guy - there's a LOT of women on these sites looking for a tryst, moreso on match than eHarmony FWIW.

Variety in your photos. Put one up of you in some sort of athletic gear or doing something athletic. Make sure there is a full body, if you have blue eyes make sure one accentuates your eyes; if you are a nice dresser, put a full body photo of you wearing your nicest get-up. This is really important...get yourself a photo with a HOT chick. I know a few hot chicks but don't really have any as friends, so when I'm out at a bar and there's a really hot waitress or patron I simply walked up to them and say hello and ask them for a photo since your friends are always busting your balls about never talking to women at the bar. Works every time. Just assure them it's not going on facebook, you're just texting it to your buddy Mike who is always ragging on you for not having enough confidence to talk to a woman. Get this photo up on match or eharmony. I promise you, 75% of women out there will look at the female in the photo and analyze whether or not she's good looking or not and then measure herself up to your companion in the photo. Feel free to put a caption in there: "Me with my friend Jen at the bar". The hotter the women you hang around with, the hotter the women you will attract.

When you do have photos of friends, make sure you don't have 10 photos of you and you're zit-faced, freckled, glasses-wearing, overweight good bud Ralph. Ralph might be the type of guy to drive out to you on I-95 when you run out of gas and help you out, but you need to exude popularity, and being in a photo with a bunch of :nerd:s is going to hurt your image. It sounds harsh - but it's true. The objective here is strange, not showing people you are a humanitarian by befriending strange looking humans.

Show your teeth in the photo. Chicks always dig guys with nice teeth. If you have nice teeth, show them when you smile. If you're teeth aren't bright, buy some whitening strips and get a photo up there 30 days later.

Finally, get a photo of you doing something wild and exciting: surfing, parasailing, sky diving. It doesn't even matter if it's you, just find a photo of some dude surfing where you can't see his face. She'll never notice - just tell her you love to surf and every time she invites you to the beach, feign sickness.

~ Your information section: Again, this entire post is assuming you're looking for a fling, not a wife.

Height: Always add an inch or 2 - she won't notice if you wear high top basketball sneakers anyway. I personally search for women at least 3 inches shorter than me and I've never been called on adding 2 inches if I follow this.

Interests: Don't put "book club" "chess" or "reading" here. I don't care if you've never been on the beach in your life, put "surfing", "playing basketball", and "going to concerts". You're projecting that you're an outgoing guy who isn't like every other guy on the planet who is really just interested in watching the Yankees and playing poker. You actually get out there and go surfing and play sports.

Want Kids: Someday is the answer here - no need to come off desperate here and say "Definitely". Some girls get scared away if you think your only focus is getting married and having kids. There's a LOT of overbearing/desperate guys on these websites who push the envelope with commitment and talking about having a family, not necessary - if you fall in love, those discussions will come organically.

Ethnicity: Feel free to go with "other" here if you're bold enough. Most Caucasians can get away with telling people they are a quarter puerto rican or something of that nature. It's a progressive world out there, chicks would love a guy that's not a cookie cutter white boy from the suburbs. You can play this off as you get more comfortable.

Smoke: The answer is no way, even if you do.

Political Views: Just go with middle of the road here.

~ About you:

I promise you, no greater reward will come than using a LOT of words to describe yourself here. The male profiles out there are generic and usually one paragraph long filled with terrible punctuation and misuse of homonyms. To the good looking women out there, that are also smart, this is a turn off. Be detailed and try to stray from typing the generic crap that everyone types. Everyone types in "I'm looking for someone that can make me laugh and be my best friend." Just get creative here and use as much of the space as possible. This will keep a girl reading, and make you stand out from the others who are just chasing a good time. Talking about the feeling of riding a wave for the first time, or crushing 50 hot wings in a hot wing eating contest to illustrate how daring and wild you are. You've got to be a standout in this regard. Big time.

Her profile:

Her Photos: It's been said a million times here, but no full body shots = no chance. I've learned the hard way after showing up to many first dates thinking I was walking into a situation with a cute girl with maybe 10-20 extra pounds and been absolutely shocked at the disproportionate size of the assets the female chooses NOT to show in the photos. If she has photos of her with her back to the camera and not facing front, she has an enormous stomach. If she has photos of her waist up, she has gigantic legs. If there's a photo of just her eyes, she likely looks like Gargamel from the Smurfs. Just move on - please trust me on this.

Also, try to find a girl who is very attractive but doesn't have the most attractive friends in her photos. Those friends probably have ugly boyfriends, and when you meet her friends for the first time, they will all convince her how good looking you are.

Her "Body Type": - It seems like in almost EVERY instance a girl always upgrades her body type status one direction to the positive side. I've met girls who claim to be "about average" and are NOWHERE close to "average". If they say "Curvy", they aren't Kim Kardashian curvy, they are "lumpy" at best. "A few extra pounds" means at least 50 extra pounds. Obviously there are exceptions, however, compare with the photos. If you see an array of photos that look like they are 5 years old compared to others, go with whatever appears to be the most recent. Obviously they do this to come off as more attractive. If you aren't into bigger women, then just stick to "Athletic and Toned" or "Skinny/Thin". If you are into bigger girls, than just ignore this entire post and more power to you - to his, his own and god bless ya.

About her: The opposite of what you're profile should contain. Look for something short and sweet. If she didn't take the time to fill it out completely or type an essay on who she is, she probably has lower standards. If she writes 3000 words in the "About Me" section, she's likely wound way too tightly to ever navigate quickly enough to close the deal. She's taking the online dating VERY seriously and weeding out the weeds and she's going to be highly selective with you unless you fit all of her criteria. I try to stay away. If you're looking for a long term relationship, I think the longer profiles are the way to go - that means they ARE serious about meeting someone for a long term thing and are a better match for a commitment-minded guy.

eHarmony vs. match:

I've spent extensive time on both. If you're looking for it to take a month to meet a girl, eHarmony is great. If you're looking to exchange maybe one or two emails and then go have a drink, you've got to go with match in that case.

The girls on eHarmony are on there because it is definitely more of an intensive process. You have 4 steps of "guided communication" that can take forever to get through. A lot of the girls on there aren't as outgoing either since eHarmony keeps your profile hidden from the general public while match does not. There are exceptions and I've had success with both sites, but far more success with match as far as getting to the end game quicker.

Match is also great because you can actually search for a body type, height, marital status, etc. It's cheaper too, if you're looking to save a buck. Match is the way to go for newly single guys looking to get out in the world and experience things.

Getting a date:

1 - If she contacts you, don't respond right away. Always give it 24-48 hours in between getting back to here. It screams desperation otherwise.

2 - NEVER take a girl to dinner on a first date; ALWAYS "meet for a drink or two" as the first meeting point. This is non-negotiable. With a drink or two, things are VERY open ended - you aren't confined to the cook and waiter's time frame and can be loose with how long you stay. If you date enough, you WILL run into the occasional person who looks nothing like their photos and weighs about 50 pounds more. It's happened to me, and those are the nights where I grab a drink to be polite and set the expectation that it's JUST a drink because that's what you feel most comfortable with. After one drink, simply let them know you don't like to drive drunk so one drink is your limit and you're looking forward to an actual date with them later in the week.

Let's say best case scenario, and the chick really is smoking during your drink meetup. You can stay for 2-3 drinks. You can also sit at a bar with them and read their body language a lot easier. If you think she's interested, try "accidentally" touching your leg to hers and see if she pulls away. It's a good sign if she doesn't. It's a good sign also if her bar stool ends up practically facing you as opposed to having the close off body language of facing the other way. You can't get this read sitting across from each other at a restaurant. This is really important to me. You can tell so much by doing the "have a drink or two and sit next to each other on our own time constraint." If it's going REALLY well, suggest you go somewhere else - another bar perhaps. Do your research and if there's another bar close by with a band playing, mention that. If she's totally up for it, you are well on your way - and she's also a little drunk by this time hopefully.

I can't stress the "meet for a drink" enough as a first point of meeting. I've closed the deal on night one before, but I've also been able to only waste 10 minutes of my life by using this method and hightailing it out of there is the girl was nothing like she represented herself to be.

There's obviously a science to this, and I'll probably add more to it as I think of things. I've ended up in Long Term relationships too just by approaching these things just like described above. Sometimes it happens, but it's much better that way if you approach things nonchalantly with the mission of hooking up first in my opinion.

Edited by Reginald Cornsilks
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Reginald Cornsilks...love the name and I'll piggy back a bit from your posting, great job by the way.

I started doing a spreadsheet since mid separation when I bagged a chick since I had been married. Since mid 2008 until now, I've averaged one different chick a month. Like you, I'm over 50 and was out of the game for over a decade and came into the game being a single father.

I try to not lie about stats to be honest I don't give a crap if I put my true height and she knocks me off the list because I'm not 6'5" (I'm 5'10") there's a TONS of women out there and it's a buyers market and if they are on idating sites honestly it's because they can't get dates easily or have and tired of getting burned. Actually it's usually because one of their friends met someone so they are following suit.

I also never meet for dinner and try and meet for a few drinks. If you don't connect you can then bail after a few or if it's great drink some more and go get something to eat. By the way, always eat something before you meet up.

Confidence is Key. If you don't have the confidence buy some books or do something to get it. Look, women's expiration is a lot quicker then men. As a man you get better with age. No matter what your situation is use it as a positive. By luck I found out there are plenty of girls in their 20s who don't mind and actually like a single father who is much older than they are.

Keep your profile vague regarding kids. My big line whenever a woman I am interested in banging asks me if I am interested in having more kids is "I love kids but I am fortunate that I don't HAVE to have more but if the right woman comes into my life and she wants to have kids then why not?" Notice I said "the right woman" which is true but doesn't mean "I want kids with any chick".

I used to try and see them as soon as possible but that doesn't have to be. If you know you are going to be tied up with work or kids or whatever and she looks hot keep a text / email thing going. When you finally meet up when your schedule and you two are having a great time throw stuff out like "It's funny but this is the first time we've met face to face but it just feels like we've seen each other a lot" they will agree and this also puts into their head a sort of "we've gone out a long time" vibe which is key with some girls if you want to bed them first date.

I would say about 80% of the chicks I met we went all the way the first night. Again confidence is key. Some guys think they have to be George Clooney to bang a hot chick which isn't true. Most great looking chicks want to be the better looking person and don't want to compete in that department.

I am almost convinced about 99.99999% of the women online are not honest. The ones who talk about wanting to just meet an honest man are usually the ones who end up not telling the truth about something important. At first that surprised me but now it doesn't.

By the way, all the hookups I've had I don't think a single one came from Match. For some odd reason it just didn't work out there. I tried some sites that are geared for more specific kinds of people, like people with money, etc. Again, doesn't mean you have to fit that profile but if you say love Jewish women, join JDate, if you love Asian or Black women look for sites to cater to Asian and Black people.

I wish I had a step by step way to promise in banging a girl but honestly I've done it using the aggresive way, the passive way, the I must be detailed and show that I'm having a blast in my pics way to the I have one photo up of just my face turned to the side way.

The key is when asked why something is or is not there your replies need to stand out. So, I get asked "Why only one pic and you are turned away" you can say "I'm terribly shy" or "Would like a girl to respect me for my mind and not just my face and body for once"..whatever, you get the picture. I even put as my occupation on one site one time that I was a "Professional Hopscotch Player" and I got flooded with e-mails. When I put my real profession I had nothing.

If your profile isn't getting a lot of hits change it up. Put bizarre yet funny stuff in there. Shake it up.

Get pics from a girl showing as much as possible. Hell say "I'm really not into the skinny rail thin look" if you think she is curvy but not quite sure if she's hot curvy or way overweight. You've got to close the deal and get her to send you more pics. Most women do it now so this shouldn't be a problem, if one balks I either don't reply or say "everyone on this site has one so what's the problem, are you married and afraid someone will notice you"? They will always send your pics to prove you wrong.

I would put Caucasian if you are Caucasian because TONS of women of color LOVE white guys. I prefer women of color and can tell if they prefer white men at this point. Then again I may use this as schtick potential just to test it out.

Confidence, confidence, confidence is key here. You can not reply to them right away or you can, you can pretty much do anything you want to do if you confidence and not confidence as in I'm going to be a jerk, confidence as in "I've had a lot of great women in my life, I think I am a great catch vs. most, I know not every woman is into me and I know that if this doesn't work out someone else will come along soon" attitude. Women have different tastes just like men. If a woman wants a 6'5" black man she won't be interested in me. That's fine and don't sweat it. If you really dig a chick and she bails on you then better sooner than later.

Then again, I am not looking for something long term that will lead to marriage. I love calling the shots and doing whatever I want when I don't have the kids and don't want to be tied down so if your goal is to land someone with the goal of getting married and having kids this may or may not work for you.

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Since my divorce 2.5 years ago, I've been honing my skills on these websites and done very well, and also been very disappointed - I've documented many of my encounters elsewhere under my former alias for those interested.

This thread is long and I haven't followed along until recently however just wanted to post some of my experiences with match and eharmony since my divorce to anyone who may find it useful. There's a lot of guys here, who know more than me - but I would put the count of women I've gone out with at around 50 in 2.5 years and the women I've "closed the deal" with at around 30% of that which is a decent success rate considering many of those un-pursued flings were of my choice...as a matter of fact, I've actually only gone out with 2 people I met at a bar without the assistance of an online site - so this can be exploited.

Let's begin:

Setting Up Your Profile:

A lot of this depends on what you are looking for. Are you just looking for some strange? Or are you seriously looking for the mother of your children? I'm not looking for the mother of my children so I can't speak to that unfortunately.

~ Photos: You've got to have a lot of them and you need more than just head shots. Make them recent and make them photos in which you are clearly having a good time. The photo taken BY you OF you is a tool move, especially if you're sitting in your car. I don't know why dudes do this. This is a chick thing to do. Get a photo of you standing with 4 of your buddies out at a bar, on a golf course, with a drink in your hand and smiling from ear to ear like you are having the best ####### time of your life. This tells the woman you are a fun guy and projects that you are young and vibrant and can probably last a long time in the sack. Again, no SELF photos - this tells the woman you are vain - ladies like a confident guy, not a stuck up guy.

If you are looking for strange, no photos with you and a dog under 20 pounds please (sorry Woz). You're only going to attract animal lovers who are too picky to find a guy and that's why they're using an online dating site to begin with. Lose the dog photos. These types of photos are cringe worthy for both guys and girls looking to get laid and project the opposite of sex appeal. If you must have a prop with you in the photo, have someone take an action shot of you shooting a basketball, or with an oversized mug of beer in your hand from Dave and Busters. Now you're fun and athletic. Only girls looking for their future husband want a sensitive guy - there's a LOT of women on these sites looking for a tryst, moreso on match than eHarmony FWIW.

Variety in your photos. Put one up of you in some sort of athletic gear or doing something athletic. Make sure there is a full body, if you have blue eyes make sure one accentuates your eyes; if you are a nice dresser, put a full body photo of you wearing your nicest get-up. This is really important...get yourself a photo with a HOT chick. I know a few hot chicks but don't really have any as friends, so when I'm out at a bar and there's a really hot waitress or patron I simply walked up to them and say hello and ask them for a photo since your friends are always busting your balls about never talking to women at the bar. Works every time. Just assure them it's not going on facebook, you're just texting it to your buddy Mike who is always ragging on you for not having enough confidence to talk to a woman. Get this photo up on match or eharmony. I promise you, 75% of women out there will look at the female in the photo and analyze whether or not she's good looking or not and then measure herself up to your companion in the photo. Feel free to put a caption in there: "Me with my friend Jen at the bar". The hotter the women you hang around with, the hotter the women you will attract.

When you do have photos of friends, make sure you don't have 10 photos of you and you're zit-faced, freckled, glasses-wearing, overweight good bud Ralph. Ralph might be the type of guy to drive out to you on I-95 when you run out of gas and help you out, but you need to exude popularity, and being in a photo with a bunch of :nerd:s is going to hurt your image. It sounds harsh - but it's true. The objective here is strange, not showing people you are a humanitarian by befriending strange looking humans.

Show your teeth in the photo. Chicks always dig guys with nice teeth. If you have nice teeth, show them when you smile. If you're teeth aren't bright, buy some whitening strips and get a photo up there 30 days later.

Finally, get a photo of you doing something wild and exciting: surfing, parasailing, sky diving. It doesn't even matter if it's you, just find a photo of some dude surfing where you can't see his face. She'll never notice - just tell her you love to surf and every time she invites you to the beach, feign sickness.

~ Your information section: Again, this entire post is assuming you're looking for a fling, not a wife.

Height: Always add an inch or 2 - she won't notice if you wear high top basketball sneakers anyway. I personally search for women at least 3 inches shorter than me and I've never been called on adding 2 inches if I follow this.

Interests: Don't put "book club" "chess" or "reading" here. I don't care if you've never been on the beach in your life, put "surfing", "playing basketball", and "going to concerts". You're projecting that you're an outgoing guy who isn't like every other guy on the planet who is really just interested in watching the Yankees and playing poker. You actually get out there and go surfing and play sports.

Want Kids: Someday is the answer here - no need to come off desperate here and say "Definitely". Some girls get scared away if you think your only focus is getting married and having kids. There's a LOT of overbearing/desperate guys on these websites who push the envelope with commitment and talking about having a family, not necessary - if you fall in love, those discussions will come organically.

Ethnicity: Feel free to go with "other" here if you're bold enough. Most Caucasians can get away with telling people they are a quarter puerto rican or something of that nature. It's a progressive world out there, chicks would love a guy that's not a cookie cutter white boy from the suburbs. You can play this off as you get more comfortable.

Smoke: The answer is no way, even if you do.

Political Views: Just go with middle of the road here.

~ About you:

I promise you, no greater reward will come than using a LOT of words to describe yourself here. The male profiles out there are generic and usually one paragraph long filled with terrible punctuation and misuse of homonyms. To the good looking women out there, that are also smart, this is a turn off. Be detailed and try to stray from typing the generic crap that everyone types. Everyone types in "I'm looking for someone that can make me laugh and be my best friend." Just get creative here and use as much of the space as possible. This will keep a girl reading, and make you stand out from the others who are just chasing a good time. Talking about the feeling of riding a wave for the first time, or crushing 50 hot wings in a hot wing eating contest to illustrate how daring and wild you are. You've got to be a standout in this regard. Big time.

Her profile:

Her Photos: It's been said a million times here, but no full body shots = no chance. I've learned the hard way after showing up to many first dates thinking I was walking into a situation with a cute girl with maybe 10-20 extra pounds and been absolutely shocked at the disproportionate size of the assets the female chooses NOT to show in the photos. If she has photos of her with her back to the camera and not facing front, she has an enormous stomach. If she has photos of her waist up, she has gigantic legs. If there's a photo of just her eyes, she likely looks like Gargamel from the Smurfs. Just move on - please trust me on this.

Also, try to find a girl who is very attractive but doesn't have the most attractive friends in her photos. Those friends probably have ugly boyfriends, and when you meet her friends for the first time, they will all convince her how good looking you are.

Her "Body Type": - It seems like in almost EVERY instance a girl always upgrades her body type status one direction to the positive side. I've met girls who claim to be "about average" and are NOWHERE close to "average". If they say "Curvy", they aren't Kim Kardashian curvy, they are "lumpy" at best. "A few extra pounds" means at least 50 extra pounds. Obviously there are exceptions, however, compare with the photos. If you see an array of photos that look like they are 5 years old compared to others, go with whatever appears to be the most recent. Obviously they do this to come off as more attractive. If you aren't into bigger women, then just stick to "Athletic and Toned" or "Skinny/Thin". If you are into bigger girls, than just ignore this entire post and more power to you - to his, his own and god bless ya.

About her: The opposite of what you're profile should contain. Look for something short and sweet. If she didn't take the time to fill it out completely or type an essay on who she is, she probably has lower standards. If she writes 3000 words in the "About Me" section, she's likely wound way too tightly to ever navigate quickly enough to close the deal. She's taking the online dating VERY seriously and weeding out the weeds and she's going to be highly selective with you unless you fit all of her criteria. I try to stay away. If you're looking for a long term relationship, I think the longer profiles are the way to go - that means they ARE serious about meeting someone for a long term thing and are a better match for a commitment-minded guy.

eHarmony vs. match:

I've spent extensive time on both. If you're looking for it to take a month to meet a girl, eHarmony is great. If you're looking to exchange maybe one or two emails and then go have a drink, you've got to go with match in that case.

The girls on eHarmony are on there because it is definitely more of an intensive process. You have 4 steps of "guided communication" that can take forever to get through. A lot of the girls on there aren't as outgoing either since eHarmony keeps your profile hidden from the general public while match does not. There are exceptions and I've had success with both sites, but far more success with match as far as getting to the end game quicker.

Match is also great because you can actually search for a body type, height, marital status, etc. It's cheaper too, if you're looking to save a buck. Match is the way to go for newly single guys looking to get out in the world and experience things.

Getting a date:

1 - If she contacts you, don't respond right away. Always give it 24-48 hours in between getting back to here. It screams desperation otherwise.

2 - NEVER take a girl to dinner on a first date; ALWAYS "meet for a drink or two" as the first meeting point. This is non-negotiable. With a drink or two, things are VERY open ended - you aren't confined to the cook and waiter's time frame and can be loose with how long you stay. If you date enough, you WILL run into the occasional person who looks nothing like their photos and weighs about 50 pounds more. It's happened to me, and those are the nights where I grab a drink to be polite and set the expectation that it's JUST a drink because that's what you feel most comfortable with. After one drink, simply let them know you don't like to drive drunk so one drink is your limit and you're looking forward to an actual date with them later in the week.

Let's say best case scenario, and the chick really is smoking during your drink meetup. You can stay for 2-3 drinks. You can also sit at a bar with them and read their body language a lot easier. If you think she's interested, try "accidentally" touching your leg to hers and see if she pulls away. It's a good sign if she doesn't. It's a good sign also if her bar stool ends up practically facing you as opposed to having the close off body language of facing the other way. You can't get this read sitting across from each other at a restaurant. This is really important to me. You can tell so much by doing the "have a drink or two and sit next to each other on our own time constraint." If it's going REALLY well, suggest you go somewhere else - another bar perhaps. Do your research and if there's another bar close by with a band playing, mention that. If she's totally up for it, you are well on your way - and she's also a little drunk by this time hopefully.

I can't stress the "meet for a drink" enough as a first point of meeting. I've closed the deal on night one before, but I've also been able to only waste 10 minutes of my life by using this method and hightailing it out of there is the girl was nothing like she represented herself to be.

There's obviously a science to this, and I'll probably add more to it as I think of things. I've ended up in Long Term relationships too just by approaching these things just like described above. Sometimes it happens, but it's much better that way if you approach things nonchalantly with the mission of hooking up first in my opinion.

Whoa.
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Awesome stuff by Reginald (trying to remember whose alias this is). I can assure you though, the dog picture was a joke :lmao:. My current profile is much like you describe with beach pictures, pictures of me playing QB in a competitive flag game (I think this one is quite effective because of the stigma that the QB is the top guy to go for), one getting strung up during one of those play-acting dinner cruise things, etc. I also think every girl I've met so far has commented that 1) they really liked I had a bunch of different photos up and 2) that I look exactly like I did in my photos. The second comment is almost always followed by some horror story of some guy who falsely advertised in his pictures (I love those guys, as they make make me look both more honest and more attractive). However, one point made by Reginald which I strongly disagree with* is having the picture of you and a hot chick up there or a picture where there has clearly been a grl cropped out of the picture. I've had a few dates tell me them immediately close a match if they see this because it means either that the guy may be hung up on his ex or he is a show-off and can't be trusted. I get the psychological effect it can have on a viewer as it is akin to say how a super high price tag can give some object a much higher implied value, but I think if the rest of your photos are good enough and you can put some seemingly impressive things in your profile it is way too big of a risk. This time around I've definitely done the less is more approach by not revealing much at all and simply relying on three things in addition to my photos:

1. Job titles - on paper they sound impressive to mommy and daddy

2. Just moved to town - while true, the main reason I make that known is that I'm no-drama, fresh meat type deal

3. Obsess about some guy thing - I don't know why it works, but girls seem drawn to some guy who has some oddly mild obsession to something. Whether it be cars, tattoos, or in my case, sports. I don't know if it gives them some competitive aspect or tht it makes it seem like my free time is more valuable or what, but it works.

*However, it could have something to do with my angle and approach. I'm on eharmony, a more serious dating site and play the "got my crap together" angle because I think I really do well with the more nice rich girl type thing who is concerned with status and not some hot chick looking to hookup. If that were the case, the picture of a hot chick ploy could work.

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Had this situation last night. Tell me what was the right play here:

Out for the third time with a nerdy MBA student from a very well off family. Made out a bunch on the last date. She spends our time out telling stories of taking advantage of guys, how she dated her last bf bc he looked hot, thinks sex is great, etc. I believe I'm doing the right things by making it seem like I'm listening and telling her I'm impressed. She then drops the, "If I didn't like you so much, I totally would have slept with you already - so take that as a compliment." Oh really, awesome. Anyway, it was still clear she was down to come back to my place so I invite her up for a class of wine. She agrees on the condition I know she isn't going to sleep with me because she likes me. We start making out heavily almost right upon getting there, and she suggests we go upstairs. We do and after getting her clothes off she again tells no sex. I don't say anything but am able to take care of her while adhering to her prior condition. She then whispers in my ear how "great" she is at :yes:. I'm thinking to myself awesome, at least she recognizes I should be thanked for my gentlemanly behavior. But for like 15 minutes she won't do it! I try nicely requesting it, suggesting she has me all interested in seeing how good she is, etc. She keeps shaking her head though and telling me I'll "be ok." At this point I'm thinking this is sadistic and consider telling her I'm not twelve and need a bit more than touching to enjoy this. I don't want to push too hard because my guess is she'll progress when I see her next, and I had exhausted all normal requests to the point of begging.

Chicks should be arrestd for crap like this.

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